A Better Me....

I arrived at the church yesterday, expecting to see a room full of depressing, hopeless individuals.
Instead, I found a room full of dignity and grace.

You see, my friend told me last month she was diagnosed with ALS (better known as Lou Gehrig's Disease).
My first reaction is okay, let me read about it, and let's take care of it. As I read, the first paragraph states,"upon diagnosis of ALS, the patient usually lives 3-5 years".......3 TO 5 YEARS.......
So, basically, when you get the diagnosis, you get a death sentence.
How is that possible for a 42 year old mother of one? How is that possible for a wife and caretaker of a family?
Now, I never question God....I did not question him when he took my father at the young age of 55. I did not question him when five of our children received the autism diagnosis. I did not question him when I miscarried 2 babies. But, this is beyond belief for me.
So, in my quest for a cure for my friend, I found a local support group in Austin. I found ALSA.
I spoke with the social worker, who was an amazing ray of light for me. She answered all of my questions, whether she felt they were silly or stupid....most were I am sure....

So, into this meeting room I went.
Inside were some people afflicted with ALS, caretakers, and family members. We went around and introduced ourselves. My friend did not come with me....she is not ready.
I met 3 gentlemen with ALS. 3 of the most handsome men I have ever met. When they spoke, they spoke like dignitaries. They were, at one time, a professor, a contractor, and a publisher. These are brilliant minds.
I met 1 woman with ALS...still gorgeous and loved adoringly by her present husband and mother.
I met siblings, wives, daughters of these men and woman. I was taken aback by their committment and ability to stand strong, even in the wake of ALS.

Funny thing, when I left, I did not feel depressed.....I did not feel sad....I felt empowered. I felt all the crap that I had been upset about before this encounter was petty and not worth any more of my time.
I removed myself from the Austin Autism Support Group....I would get depressed every time I read about another autistic child being given more treatments. I no longer have to deal with that. I feel cleansed.
I now feel all of my devotion and time will be given to those who really need me....I will love my children even more (if that is possible), I will adore my husband even more(which I already do), I will be a much better friend than I ever was (it was mostly about me, in the past), I will be a much better daughter (which I never was)......
What I took out of this meeting was A Much Better Me.........