About Me

I am the proud mother of 6 children. 5 of our children have autism. We do not feel our world has ended, but just begun. We do not chelate, intervene biochemically, give shots of any kind, practice ABA, etc. We treat them as we treat any humanbeing. We treat them with kindness and respect and expect the same from them. They are exceptional children.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Cakewalk...

My life is a cakewalk compared to others I have met in my lifetime. And believe you me, I have met some winners.
I do not know why, but people are drawn to me. Like I can solve every problem they have. I have no degree in anything but Agriculture Education ( a wasted degree, I might add). I swear I am not bragging, but it is true. People ask me questions, in the supermarket, in the mall, at the doctors, at school, etc. Like I will have the answers. I tell most of them who to ask and then explain that I just look intelligent.
My youngest daughter asked me once why everyone talks to me. I explained that I have this aura of knowledge about me. This was after an elderly gentlemen, who was in the Coca-cola aisle with us, wanted to know why they started making Coke Zero. Down the aisle happened to be the Coca-Cola stocker. I told him that I did not know, let's ask the coke guy. The Coke guy didn't know. Oh well, I told the elderly gentleman, we shall never know....
I have a friend who is raising her grandchild. He is an angry 13 year old young man. His mother abandoned him, his father is in prison. The grandparent's are doing the best they can. They are in their 60's and now retirement is out of the question. But, instead of blaming the daughter and son-in-law for the child's anger, they blame the school, the doctor's....anyone or anything but the parent's. They are doing the best they can. They have both aged tremendously in the last 2 years. These are wonderful people, who have now taken on a very heavy task. I wish them the best and will stand behind them, no matter what.
I have another friend who is in her early 30's. A loving mother and wife. A volunteer at school. A good friend to me. She listens and does not judge. She seems like a rock. This summer, she was diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease. That is a virtual death sentence. She is handling it the best she can. With dignity. She is my hero. I will do whatever she wants, when she asks me too. She is so early in the diagnosis, she is not wanting to deal with it. I have her back, and I hope she knows this.
My best friend died in April. April Fools Day to be exact. I did not think it was funny. I am sure she did. She had a stroke, in her sleep, and died instantly. She left behind 6 children, the youngest being severely autistic. The family is falling apart. She was only 47. That rocked my world like an earthquake. I have spoken with her family many times. I did not know her husband very well, just a few talks on the phone. I know he is having a hard time. I hope he finds his strength.
At a volunteer's meeting yesterday at school, talking amongst all the women there ( there were no men present for some odd reason ), I came to find out who is on Prozac, Wellbutrin, etc. A plethera of medications among these women who are so depressed they cannot handle life without a pill. I don't mean to be judgemental. I just am.
I am a "big Mouth". Cannot help it. That is just who I am. I asked them Why do you feel you need a pill? Every one answered that there is bipolar, depression, schizophrenia, etc in their family. They asked me what my doctor has me on. There is no way a mother of 6 children, most with autism, cannot be depressed. I explained that I have never been so depressed that I cannot see a way out of it. I pray to God every night, and I thank him every morning. I keep myself so busy, I do not find time to dwell on the negatives in life. There are so many other things to occupy my time. I suppose there is chemical imbalances that need medication. These wonderful mothers also complained of all of the horrible side effects that come with these pills. Weight gain, tiredness, lethargy, etc. I wonder if the bad outweighs the good. I guess so......
I am blessed with a wonderful husband and 6 awesome children. We have no family support of any kind. My family cannot handle the autism, my husband's family are all gone or up North. My husband works 2 jobs and I take care of business at home. He demands nothing of me and I try not to demand anything of him. He is my rock.
I have had many occurences in my life. I could be a whole OPRAH series....or Dr. Phil. I take all of these occurences as Life Lessons. I make myself better because of them. At least I hope I do.
I hope one day, if not already, my children know that they are all a blessing to me and their father. I hope they feel every day the love we have for them. I hope they go to school and know someone at home adores them. I hope they know that no matter what they are or become, they are not a label, but functioning, caring, loving, productive human beings who make all who come in contact with them the better for it.

3 comments:

Soapbox mom said...

My sympathies for the loss of your best friend. Very sad.
It is so cool that you can look at your life and see how lucky you are; that you see it as a cakewalk in comparison to others' trial and tribulations.
I think I know why people are drawn to you. You have a good attitude and want to share it with others. Thanks.

Mom26children said...

Thanks Soapbox Mom,
I miss her greatly. We were brought together by autism. And even though she was determined to save her son and cure him, we were best friends. She never let me know if she was upset that I did not do intervention and I did not ever tell her that I thought she was wasting her money. We respected each other's opinion and prayed for each other's children.
And I really do feel lucky. I feel blessed. I feel like I have been rewarded in so many ways.

Camille said...

Thanks loads for this. It's so helpful. I hope the best for your friends who are having such a hard time. Perspective is like diamonds. It's so valuable.

I don't mean to be judgemental, either, I just am. :-)