Cakewalk...

My life is a cakewalk compared to others I have met in my lifetime. And believe you me, I have met some winners.
I do not know why, but people are drawn to me. Like I can solve every problem they have. I have no degree in anything but Agriculture Education ( a wasted degree, I might add). I swear I am not bragging, but it is true. People ask me questions, in the supermarket, in the mall, at the doctors, at school, etc. Like I will have the answers. I tell most of them who to ask and then explain that I just look intelligent.
My youngest daughter asked me once why everyone talks to me. I explained that I have this aura of knowledge about me. This was after an elderly gentlemen, who was in the Coca-cola aisle with us, wanted to know why they started making Coke Zero. Down the aisle happened to be the Coca-Cola stocker. I told him that I did not know, let's ask the coke guy. The Coke guy didn't know. Oh well, I told the elderly gentleman, we shall never know....
I have a friend who is raising her grandchild. He is an angry 13 year old young man. His mother abandoned him, his father is in prison. The grandparent's are doing the best they can. They are in their 60's and now retirement is out of the question. But, instead of blaming the daughter and son-in-law for the child's anger, they blame the school, the doctor's....anyone or anything but the parent's. They are doing the best they can. They have both aged tremendously in the last 2 years. These are wonderful people, who have now taken on a very heavy task. I wish them the best and will stand behind them, no matter what.
I have another friend who is in her early 30's. A loving mother and wife. A volunteer at school. A good friend to me. She listens and does not judge. She seems like a rock. This summer, she was diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gehrig's Disease. That is a virtual death sentence. She is handling it the best she can. With dignity. She is my hero. I will do whatever she wants, when she asks me too. She is so early in the diagnosis, she is not wanting to deal with it. I have her back, and I hope she knows this.
My best friend died in April. April Fools Day to be exact. I did not think it was funny. I am sure she did. She had a stroke, in her sleep, and died instantly. She left behind 6 children, the youngest being severely autistic. The family is falling apart. She was only 47. That rocked my world like an earthquake. I have spoken with her family many times. I did not know her husband very well, just a few talks on the phone. I know he is having a hard time. I hope he finds his strength.
At a volunteer's meeting yesterday at school, talking amongst all the women there ( there were no men present for some odd reason ), I came to find out who is on Prozac, Wellbutrin, etc. A plethera of medications among these women who are so depressed they cannot handle life without a pill. I don't mean to be judgemental. I just am.
I am a "big Mouth". Cannot help it. That is just who I am. I asked them Why do you feel you need a pill? Every one answered that there is bipolar, depression, schizophrenia, etc in their family. They asked me what my doctor has me on. There is no way a mother of 6 children, most with autism, cannot be depressed. I explained that I have never been so depressed that I cannot see a way out of it. I pray to God every night, and I thank him every morning. I keep myself so busy, I do not find time to dwell on the negatives in life. There are so many other things to occupy my time. I suppose there is chemical imbalances that need medication. These wonderful mothers also complained of all of the horrible side effects that come with these pills. Weight gain, tiredness, lethargy, etc. I wonder if the bad outweighs the good. I guess so......
I am blessed with a wonderful husband and 6 awesome children. We have no family support of any kind. My family cannot handle the autism, my husband's family are all gone or up North. My husband works 2 jobs and I take care of business at home. He demands nothing of me and I try not to demand anything of him. He is my rock.
I have had many occurences in my life. I could be a whole OPRAH series....or Dr. Phil. I take all of these occurences as Life Lessons. I make myself better because of them. At least I hope I do.
I hope one day, if not already, my children know that they are all a blessing to me and their father. I hope they feel every day the love we have for them. I hope they go to school and know someone at home adores them. I hope they know that no matter what they are or become, they are not a label, but functioning, caring, loving, productive human beings who make all who come in contact with them the better for it.

Are You Kidding Me????

I do not know why I feel the need to read the posts of parent's of autistic children on a certain Support Group. I get really agitated every time. I suppose I do it so I can reassure myself that we are doing the right thing. Who knows? Hopefully I will get so sick of it that I will just let it go.
Today, I read a post the mother of one 2 year old, newly diagnosed, autistic son wrote. She wanted to know what her son would be like at the age of 18? Will he go to the prom? Will he have friends? Will he talk?
I want to respond to her, but the panel gets so incensed with everything I write, that I restrain myself.
That is why I started a blog......
So here it goes...
1. Who the hell knows what he is going to be like at 3, let alone 18?
2. He will go to the prom if you let him..
3. He will talk when and if he wants and is ready to.
4. If you quit shoving all that biomedical crap down his throat he might do these things sooner.
5. If you allow him to be the wonderful, amazing child that God gave you, he might show you things you could never have imagined.
6. If you let go of the false dream of what "normal" should be and accept this child for who he is, You will be amazed by what you will get.

You will get the most wonderful gift. You will get a child who loves you unconditionally, because you love him unconditionally. You will get the hugs and smiles and hopefully kisses. The kind I get every morning from all my kids. But especially our youngest. He is a non-verbal, rocking, spinning, buzzing bundle of a little boy. A little boy who loves being in his own world, but occasionally lets us in. Just be a little smile, a squeeze to our neck or if we are really lucky....he purses up his lips and gives us the greatest gift of a kiss.
I do not know what Kiernan will be at 18. I am so happy that he is here at the age of 5. I hope he becomes whatever he wants. We will allow him the freedom to make his choices and hopefully we will have taught him well.
Let your little boy be just that-A LITTLE BOY.

Anyways, that is what my response would be.
Too Critical?

Maybe I am Just Too Emotional....

I get it...I am too emotional. I want to take all of these children that have been poked and prodded and tell them it will be okay.
I read Autism Diva's blog about children who are drained of all of their blood and cry. I read emails from parent's who want to know how to shove 20 pills, at one time, down their child's throat. I read about one mother who is about to divorce her husband, because he does not want to continue the treatments. I pray he gets the kids.
I go to bed every night, and thank God for my children.
I go to bed every night and pray for those who do not have a choice.
When will these doctor's and parent's be held accountable for their behaviors? When will these children be able to be themselves?
We know autism in our family. We know how hard and challenging it is. We especially know with our 5 year old. He is in the depth of autism. He is very severe. He is non-verbal and very hyperactive. He is challenging beyond belief. He is also the most beautiful, most magnificent human I have ever seen.
Instead of looking at the negative, I see him as the most economical health spa I could find. Who needs Gold's Gym with Kiernan. I am a size 12. Haven't been that in 10 years. Hoorah for Kiernan.

Keeping My Cool

I have just read a local autism support groups emails from today. I am trying so hard to keep my cool and not just tell them what I think. Please stop me....
A mother who insists both of her children have autism, without a dr. diagnosis, is complaining because her husband is putting a stop to her chelating, ABA, biomedical crap. They have spent $56,000.00 just this year.
She has 2 of the most beautiful children I have ever met. The little boy wants to know why he is different from the other kids. She tells him that he has autism and she is going to make him better. Better than What? That is what I want to know. She has convinced her 3 year old daughter that she is recovered from autism.
She also wrote today that ABA is known for recovering children. Please send me proof. I need PROOF.
I say Amen to parent's like Soapbox Mom. I thank God I found her blog so that I know there are sane people our there.
We, as parent's, did not ask for autistic children. But, I really do not think my children would be who they are without autism. They are creative, funny, quirky, loving, adorable, caring humans. I hope that we had alot to do with that. I know ABA, biomedical interventions or chelation didn't.
More power to us parent's who love our children for not being "normal". More power to our children for teaching us that it is okay to be above the
"normal".

Still Autistic

Well, we went to the neurologist today with Kiernan. Guess what? He is still autistic. I was joking around and asked the doctor, "So, is there a cure yet" ? He smiled. "How about recovery" ? Another smile. He gets it. He also gets negated for his thoughts on autism. This is a pediatric neurologist who truly believes that autism is a disorder. That autism is not curable. That autism is not the end of the world. I like this doctor. Most of the other parent's of autistic children do not. He does not condone biomedical. He does not condone ABA. He is realistic. They are not.
I am a member of an autism support group. I get so depressed by the questions they ask one another. How do you get your child to swallow 20 pills a day? How do you get the school to administer the nutrients that my quack doctor prescribed? How can I get the school to pay $30000.00 a year for ABA? Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo !!!!
I feel so badly for the children. I know of 20 kids who have to go to sleep so their parent's can sneak a B12 shot into their butts. I know of the same 20 kids whose parent's are so desperate for a normal child that they are paying over $60000.00 a year for cures, then bitch about the costs.
They would save so much just stopping their insanity and accepting their wonderful children. How happy the whole family will be when they can all take a long breath, sit back, look around and realize that what they have in front of them is pretty darn wonderful.
I know it is just a dream, but I think this can happen.

What Will I Be When I Grow Up?????

I always wondered what my career would be when I got older, you know, reached adulthood. I went to college to become an Agriculture Education Teacher. I was 21 years old and did not take to high school children very well. That career lasted 1 looonnnggg year. That summer I worked at a residential treatment center for emotionally disturbed children. I loved that job. It was hard and the pay sucked. But, the pay was better than working at a fast-food place. I met alot of great people. I met even better children. I quit that job after 5 years. I became disillusioned by the fact that they sent these children home after insurance ran out. They sent them back to the people who caused their problems in the first place.
Now, what do I do with my life? Ah, I will go apply to work at a hotel reservations center. I am only 26 years old. I have plenty of time to find my place in life. Don't I?
I worked for the reservations center for 2 years. I was promoted 3 times. I became liked and respected there. I had the opportunity to go far. But, I still had an itch to scratch. I wanted to live in New York City. I always lived in Texas. I needed to fly. I had no boyfriend, no children. What was stopping me? A job maybe ?
I flew to NYC and landed a job in one week. At the largest hotel in Manhattan. I started on the bottom at the age of 27. I worked my way up to floor supervisor. I made great money. For 2 years I lived in Manhattan and was a true New York working Woman.
Then fate stepped in. On the elevator going to a New Year's Eve party, in the very hotel I worked, I met the man I would marry. I had just turned 29.
In less than a year I was married and pregnant. What can I say, I work fast. I was the happiest I had ever been. I decided to quit my job and stay at home with my new baby.
Enter new baby.....Screaming, wiggling, non-sleeping baby. I did not know what I was doing wrong. We went to the doctor often. Not easy going from Brookly to Manhattan with a screaming child on the subway. But the subway calmed her. I spent alot of time on subways, just to calm her down.
My father became terminally ill. We decided to move back to Texas. We drove half way across America in a UHaul. It was an amazing ride. America is gorgeous and the people we met were as generous and beautiful in every state we crossed.
Caitlin did not do much better as she got older. She became less social and still not a word came out of her mouth. Doctor after Doctor told us she would talk. We got tubes, no words.
Finally, at the age of 2 1/2, she was diagnosed with autism. AUTISM.
AUTISM. AUTISM.
We had no money, no computer, and no idea what we were getting into.
We went to the big library downtown every Saturday. I read every book there was to read about AUTISM. They all said the same thing. THERE IS NO CURE. Damn......
As I read, doctors were saying that we should do nutrients. We should do B12 shots. We should change the diet to GFCF. We did try it all. Nothing worked.
As Caitlin grew, so did our family. It grew from 1 autistic children to 5 autistic children. All of them different. All of them uniquely their own. All of them AUTISTIC. In this mix is one "typical" child. Meaghan is so far from typical. But she is not autistic. She is social, funny, angry, flirty, comical, etc. She makes our family what it is.
Honestly, I would not change a thing in my life. I would do it all exactly the same. I would be a little neater, maybe..... But, now at least I know what I will be when I grow up. I will be the best mother, wife, friend that I can be. I will be an expert in Autism. I will be a leader in the autism community. I will show parent's of other autistic children that their world did not just end. It just began. Mine began at 30 years of age. I became a better person with autism. I became a better mother. I became a better me.

You Asked For It....

Okay, get ready, it is a long story. Our first daughter Caitlin was born in 1991. She was a screamer from day one. But, she was gorgeous. So many complements. I knew something was wrong, but I was a first-time mother. Eventually, when she was 2 1/2, a doctor had to admit she had autism. That is when I learned that I am no less intelligent than a doctor, just less educated. I read every book there was about autism. I became an expert in autism. My husband and I never blamed each other, never blamed medicine, never blamed anything. When Caitlin was 3 and starting Early Childhood, still non-verbal, we had our second child. It wasn't genetic, they said. Deirdre came into the world in 1994. No screaming. Aaaahhhh....... I had a miscarriage the following year. In 1996 in came Erin. Again, screaming from birth. Autism diagnosis at 15 months. No words until the age of 3. Caitlin at the age of 9. Deirdre has been talking since 6 months of age. Erin screamed so much I never got sleep. I became pregnant when Erin was 6 months old. I thought, "What the heck, I don't sleep anyway". Meaghan was born in 1998. A wonderful, beautiful baby. Never a problem as a baby. We took a trip to Disney World. Enter little Patrick. Again, a screamer. Diagnosed at 12 months. Yes, another surprise. When Patrick was 6 months old, I was pregnant with twins. Only one survived. Enter Kiernan. He was the perfect baby. No screams, no problems. Diagnosed autistic at 12 months old. He started showing regression at 10 months. We did not plan on having 6 children. But, we did. We did not expect 5 with autism, but that is what we got. Our children have improved without medication and biomedication and without dietary interventions. They have done well with OT and PT. They did not do well with ABA. That was scary. Our oldest is now 15. She is a freshman in High School. She is a straight A, Honor Roll student. She has a full-time aide. She amazes us every day. Our second child was diagnosed with Aspergers at 9. She surprised us with her diagnosis. It did not change her, just explained her quirky, non-social self. Erin is in 4th grade. Fully inclusioned, honor roll. What an extraordinary child. Meaghan is a typical 3rd grader. That is not always a good thing. Patrick is in 1st grade. So smart and so much a boy. He still has problems with sound, light and water. His words came before he was 4. Kiernan is still very much autistic. No words at all. He is the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. But, you know, I am not biased. That is our family. Our home is active and loud. I would not want it any other way. Autism was not a death sentence. Autism just made us rethink how our lives were going to be. We are not saddened by what our children were going to be, but we are so excited about what they are going to be--Exceptional people.

It baffles my mind when I read the emails from parent's of autistic children and what they will do to "cure" their children. How dare they have a child that is not typical. I have read where parent's are upset that they have to find ways to "improve" their children's lives. How sad their own lives must be.
We are the parent's of 5 autistic children. We were approached by a famous doctor to start intervention for our children to "recover" them. This would be of no cost to us, of course? Once we started talking with this organization, we realized the things they wanted done was not anything we would put our children through. They wanted to chelate them, change their diets, scope their intestines (after a 2 day fast), draw blood every week, give them vitamins and minerals, give them B12 shots, and so forth. Then the bottom line came up. It would cost us. They were going to try to charge Medicaid. Then and there I put a stop to all talks. I called the doctor and told them I want proof these methods work. Show me a "recovered" autistic child. They cannot do this. Know why? There are no "recovered" autistic children.