About Me

I am the proud mother of 6 children. 5 of our children have autism. We do not feel our world has ended, but just begun. We do not chelate, intervene biochemically, give shots of any kind, practice ABA, etc. We treat them as we treat any humanbeing. We treat them with kindness and respect and expect the same from them. They are exceptional children.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

FOAMING AT THE MOUTH....


While catching up on reading various blogs on Autism this morning,
I came across a blog written by a mom who approaches autism from a
biomedical point of view. She was complaining about her life in biomedical
by how hard it is for her to mix the biomedical concoction I am almost sure
her child "loves" to take, her lack of finances, her poor marriage, etc.
I continued reading, because the blog was titled "United We Stand, Divided
We Fall"
over at the Age Of Autism site.
When you follow the link over to the blogsite the article came from,
the title is :

Don't Fuck With Me Fellas, This Ain't My First Time at the Rodeo

BIG CONTRAST there, huh?

So, we mother's who are fed up with the whining and hatred over at the biomedical sites
are supposed to be united with these bio-med moms...especially after lovely comments
such as "foaming at the mouth", "neglecting our children", "sitting back and doing
nothing".

Instead of being so mad at the Neurodiverse crowd, you parent's of biomedical
interventions should be mad at the doctors and "experts" that have made you
so very mad in the first place.
Promises of cures and recovery, that many of you have stated have not occurred, even
after giving thousands and thousands of dollars to these people.
After reading where one mother gave 18 IVIG infusions to one child, only to have
the child regress back into her former autistic self...shame on that doctor for continuing
the treatments...more shame to the mom who allowed it.
After reading about a mom who is pissed that Hbot did not cure her son, even after
trying every treatment imaginable (including a nicotine patch put on his butt)....and she is so disappointed in a child who she "wished had recovered by kindergarten"....he is now
8 years old. How very sad that this little boy is such a disappointment to his mother.
You should be mad at the doctors who sell you these "protocols" that are not covered
by insurance....and do you know why?
Insurance is not used on unproven, unsafe methods of treatment. I thank God there
is someone who draws the line at what will be covered and what will not be covered by
insurance. That would be my wakeup call as not what to do to my innocent child by
a person who claims to want to help them, yet will not take my insurance....duh !!!!

Lately, the biomedical community have been playing the pity card. Poor, poor me...
my child is not recovered...my child is making me so unhappy because I am broke,
divorced, have no friends, depressed, and just plain pissed off !!!

Most of the parents I have met, who practice the "ND" approach...which, by the way,
is still very hard... is a hard-working, happy, well-rounded, accepting person. They are not foaming at the mouth. They are not screaming or ranting at those who do not agree with them. We have not given up on our children. We love them. We educate
them. We make sure they go to their therapies. We make sure they are at their
prospective extracurricular activities (ie, baseball, ballet, etc). We make sure we
teach them how to behave and what is acceptable behaviors (oh, btw, that is called
"Parenting")....
We take our children to the doctors when they require medical attention, we
schedule dental appointments, neurologist appointments and appointments with
therapist...and with more than one child on the spectrum, this is sometimes quite
fun.
We prepare meals for our children to eat....just because they are not GF/CF meals,
does not mean we do not love our children any less than you guys who promote
this diet.

We had a difficult day with Kiernan yesterday. He was in OCD mode...obsessing
on everything. Today, with a much calmer Kiernan (without medication, mind you),
I thank God for the patience he has given me. I also thank him for giving me a husband
who knows when I have had enough. I thank him for all of my children, who make
me who I am...
I love being a mother...it is why I am here.

It is now 4:30 pm. In between writing this blog, cooking breakfast and lunch and
now making dinner, I have put a great deal into writing this blog.
I do not dislike any parent...whether they believe that biomedical interventions are
helping their children or not.
I dislike the fact that these parents find it okay to name-call and demean us on
comment boards such as Age Of Autism:
just a couple of examples from today are...

Next time a biomed parent sings that they do not name-call or bring down
parent's who do not practice the methods they do, cite some of these comments:

You don’t hear biomed parents out there chastising others for not doing biomed. You do hear biomed parents telling about their experiences and recommending resources, but not calling someone derogatory names for not doing biomed.
Differences do not need to be divisive. We are all struggling along as best we can. In my experience, biomed parents are pioneers who are devoted to their children, not deluded, desperate, etc. Biomed parents should be listened to as useful resources, not maligned.

From Mlinn:

Having been at this twelve years now, I'd have to agree the divisiveness within the autism community has been one of the most frustrating aspects. For the life of me I will never understand how anyone, let alone a parent, can embrace this disease as some sort of a twisted blessing and do next to nothing in response. I've seen people buy expensive houses and cars and claim alternately that they can't afford biomed/behavioral treatment and that their child doesn't really need it. I've also seen single moms on welfare and couples teetering on the edge of bankruptcy be ferocious advocates and figure out a way to get services and treatment for their kids. I believe it all comes down to selflessness and individual character. So at the end of the day, after the anger and sometimes jealousy toward the "ingnorance is bliss" crowd, what I mostly feel is pity.

Crystal, great article. And you're right-I don't think too many biomed moms go screaming around pontificating about how great they are because they're curing their kids autism, while dissing the moms who choose not to do it or can't because of the money challenges. My heart goes out to you all!!!!!

Anna send me an email, there may be some hope, stay strong, I bet there are at least 50 people reading this that may be able to relate to your situation. It's a struggle for us all. We all would welcome sharing with you some of our resources, what little there are.

My email is bensmyson (at) gmail.com

Crystal, your article hit hard on me. I have not accepted autism, even though my son is 28 years old, and daughter 21. I have not accepted it by telling others that what happened to them, was ioatragenic. I have not accepted it by going into grave debt to cure them (with some major improvements her or there on biomed), and
I have not accepted it by not vaccinating (at least the moms by real free choice)the next generation, my grandboys. I have not accepted autism, because I know it was initiated, linked, worsened by mankind. I don't accept genetics as the main problem, but I do accept predispositions. I don't accept that genetics can account for this epidemic, and I don't accept that we can sit back on our laurels and see this holocaust continue. HOWEVER, I do accept and love them, but not as is. I expect better things in the future, even at this late date. My hope is never dimmed. My love for them, enormous. If my hope goes, so does my hope for living. Iaccept, that the world wil not accept the inevitable cause of autism. I accept that the powers that be will deny this for generations, as they did with other human experiments on the masses. I accept that genetic research does not account for the environmental triggers that caused this epidemic. I accept that the least likely funded studies are those that implicate products and procedures that cause autism.

One person said, doesn't it exhaust you to be so involved in the cure, when you can just accept things as are? I told her, it exhausts me more,that people don't accept there are children being cured everday, even though it's not my children. When we finally broke down in the genetic angles, we found that they lie close to autoimmune genes. Surely, the IDSA, AAP can accept, that the immune system responds to the enviornment and their triggers?

If anyone thinks I feel less of my children, they have another thing coming. I feel more love for them then anyone will ever know. I would take a bullet for them. I would give my right arm for a cure, a magic pill, a procdure that worked. Every improvement is a miracle. The ultimate healing person is God himself, and either in this world or the next, their day will come.

It's tough to embrace something that threatens a cultural environment that has existed for many generations in families where kids typically grow up, enter school, have friends, get a job, get married and raise a family. I've been told that, "Ben doesn't seem that bad, you're lucky" and I felt like saying, "Hey, if a boat leaks, no matter how big or small the leak, the boat will still sink dumbass." There is no such thing as "not that bad" when it comes to atusim. And people seem to think autism is not a deadly illness because they don't see what the parents see and hear and read. I've actually had a couple of people say that "at least autism isn't fatal." OK great, Ben won't lay in a bed at hospice and succumb to autism, super. How do they know that to be true though? Who told them that? Anyone study that?

Do they know for a fact that a 12 year old autistic boy will not drown in a pond or river because he impulsively reached out to touch a leaf floating by
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20090711/NEWS01/707119928/0/SPORTS or that he
won't get killed by police for failing to cooperate
http://archives.chicagotribune.com/2006/nov/19/news/chi-0611190063nov19 ?

Autism is indeed killing people, a woman holding her autistic child jumps off of a bridge in the UK
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1340989/Mother-jumps-to-death-holding-her\
-autistic-son.html , another woman tried to talk her 16 year old into stepping off of a bridge then strangled her daughter when she refused to jump http://spidernet.nl/~martijn_dekker/internaut/news/9807/30.casey.spml, a mother,
a well educated doctor, smothers her autistic daughter
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_McCarron, a grandmother kills her autistic grandson and herself because it was too much to handle
http://www.dailypress.com/news/wtkr-chesapeake-murder-suicide,0,7632434.story. An autistic nine year old recently drown in a fountain at a park, the water was 3 inches deep. Yeah autism isn't deadly, not at all huh?

These stories are extremely real, and the number of stories of autistic children suffering and dying is horrendous, usually it's the caretaker that's overwhelmed reaches a breaking point and snaps. Was the caretaker married? Have any help? Support? Was she seeing any improvements, any hope? Who was counseling her? What advice was she given? We've all seen one variation or another in the news about a discovery of a child being kept in a closet, malnourished and "retarded" while other children in the house are well fed and seem to be unharmed.
http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article750838.ece

The other part of this of course is the staggering numbers of children that stop looking their parents in the eyes, spin like a top, flapping their arms, throwing a violent fit in the middle of a grocery store over the change in packaging of a stupid cereal box. This is my 9/11 and my enemy is autism. It took Ben from us, and replaced him with a different child, one that looks exactly like Ben. He was taken from us by a vaccine that we were told would not cause autism, DOES NOT cause autism, will NEVER cause autism. We were given a video of Dr. Offitt from the doctors office as a way to "inform" us parents as to the safety of vaccines. Yet a doctor the other week, one that serves on the Board of the American Association of Pediatrics, an organization notorious for denying the vaccine/autism link, looked me in the eye, and said, "I cannot rule out a vaccine as being the cause Ben's autism. "

I have little tolerance for those that "encourage" us to embrace autism. Yes, my son is the joy of my life. We are extremely fortunate that he has recovered so much in such a short time, but we work at it, constantly. I want to do everything I can to rescue him, by any means, at any cost.

I read a story the other night that brought me to my knees, a woman wakes on her downstairs couch at 4AM to the screams of her 4 year old daughter at the top of the stairs, she looked and their were flames on the ceiling on the second floor. The house was filled with smoke. The mother ATTEMPTED to climb the stairs but was turned back because of the "heat", made it as close as 10 feet to her daughter. The fire seemed to be coming from her 13 month-old son's bedroom, he was also screaming. The mother turned away from them, dialed 911, went outside to pray waiting for help.

The little girl survived, the boy didn't. It was all over in about ten minutes.

I read the story to my wife and asked, "Would you even have to think about climbing those stairs?"

What we do is instinctive, to us there is no choice, we don't even think of other options, we must brave the heat, climb those stairs, blindly risk everything to save our kids.

Do I want to kick someone for waiting at the bottom of the stairs, waiting on God, "accepting" fate without a challenge? You're damn right I do, and the next one that attempts to counsel me to wait at the bottom of the stairs, to accept it, will get the living shit kicked out of them. I have absolutely NO respect for them. Their rationalization of their passive stance, their denial, their fear, does not belong ANYWHERE near my situation and those of the rest of us who are having our clothes burned off of our backs as we work our way thru fire to find our children.

F'em! AND the horses they rode in on! Either you're for us or you're against us, there is no middle ground with me. I'm too damn tired, too burned, too pissed right now to hold hands with a bunch of pussies.

And here comes the H1N1 vaccines.

Strong writing, Crystal. I think your premise that "ND moms" are in it for their children is about 80% flawed. They seem to fit in with the 20% of our population that is impervious to any data that runs counter to their ideology, which they adopt as a faith in place of knowledge. You could no more "debate" with one of them as you could with "birthers."

ND is ultimately about them, not their children.

OMG...I've got an article coming out on Sunday in AoA. I bet they trash me, too. :) Bring it on!!! :)

Thu Jul 30, 06:09:00 PM EDT

FOUND THIS TODAY ON JOHN BEST'S BLOG

Nice Crystal...nothing confrontational about this, is there???

Bringing it on...as requested !!!!


I just found a new comment:

Bensmyson, great points. If it weren't for biomed, my son may well have been dead by now: run over by traffic, drowned in a body of water, or maybe lost in the woods somewhere.


REALLY NICE !!!

Latest from Crystal's comments on her blog:
Anonymous said...

I love your blog. I also do biomed with my child and see such improvements daily. Beware of this bitch who just loves to rip people to shreds for helping their children. She claims to have five autistic kids of her own and has a real mean streak to her. She also claims to embrace autism yet I find her bitterness tells a different story. Keep up the great blog.

http://survivingmotherhood-mom26children.blogspot.com/

I am the bitch in question...notice...he or she is a chicken Anonymous...
and what's with the "beware of"..like I have power ???

Does the "Claim to" sound familiar...???

Man...this is pissing me off...
this was commented today on Autism Bitch's site...

Foresam said...

Crystal,
Do you think Mom 26 bashes responsible parents because Pharma arranged the free house she got on that TV show?

This is what I followed up with, while waiting for approval..
yeah, like that will happen:
Crystal,
I see the game you are playing....you just want to make it seem like you are the "good guy"...well,
you have some pretty crappy players on your side.
I wish you well, but I really hope your child can make you happy...
I doubt it though..
You seem to be happy wallowing in your unhappy marriage and blaming autism for it...
When you let John Best post and did not allow my very "tame" post to rebuttle being called a bitch..you defined your agenda.
If you want respect from people, you have to respect them...
The Pharma comment is not worth commenting on, but I did rebuttle on my site...
Where I will post this also...
I hope you get over yourself quickly...
Your child needs you!!!

New post today:

Anonymous said...

Mom26children and others, like that repulsive Wombles woman, wonder why biomed mom's attack them. Um, let's just look at the title of Mom26's blog. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? Clearly meaning that what everyone else thinks is wrong and she is right. She continually boasts about herself and conveys in almost every post she writes how right she is and how she has been at this for 18 years and how she has all the answers and how the biomed moms and dads are wrong and that they can't accept their kids and these poor children have mothers and fathers who are just miserable and how horrible they must make their kids feel and blah, blah, blah. Jeanette is a twisted, self centered woman who can't get off her own pedestal and Wombles does nothing but kiss her ass and act as her puppet. Mom26children needs to get over herself. Her know it all attitude is nothing but a result of misery with her life. If she and Wombles were that secure in their beliefs they would not feel the need to create blogs bashing other parents for helping their kids.

The agenda over at Autism's Bitch is "CRYSTAL" Clear...get it...I made a funny !!!

I have tried to reply 2 times and have not been accepted....oh, those pesky "agents"...

A new post on Crystal's blog...still not being able to respond ???

Anonymous said...

These are the words of Mom26. Sounds to me like she is describing HERSELF perfectly!!


I think you have defined your agenda quite well...
You don't want to get along with anyone who doesn't agree with you...so very sad !!!

To the ANONYMOUS coward...I have tried to respond...Crystal has said her "agent" won't let her...

I wrote this to Crystal in an email tonight:
Crystal,
I thought you would be a "bigger" person than you are presenting yourself to be.
I enjoy the bashing I am getting on your blog..so much so that I am putting it on my blog.
I do not believe you and your "agent" story....a blog is a private enitity.
I would think your "agent" would be more concerned with you bashing a mother of 6, some with
Autism, than me posting on your "precious" blog...
I am surprised also that a mom with a child with Autism would happily let others call her
a "bitch" and a Pharma shill...
Like I said, you have defined yourself to me...

I hope your son gets better so your life will improve. I do not see this happening while he
still has Autism...something I find very sad !!!

Jeanette

I am done with her....she is way too sad for me...



50 comments:

kathleen said...

Thanks for this Jeanette..I was just telling someone that Crystal wrote this with the intention of getting attention..That is why I won't comment over there..Parenting ANY child is hard. That is all there is to it. I am not going to criticise..I do all that I can to help my kids-therapies, services, etc. I don't do biomed..I've watched my children blossom and grow..they are who they are. They have continued to develop as they have grown. I don't call that recovery-I call it development. My kids have autism-they will always have autism. They also have joy and love and acceptance. They have every possible service that I can get for them to help them maneuver their way around in this world. If some people consider that crazy talk-so be it.

KWombles said...

Ah, Jeanette,

Nice work. Sounds like it was not a pleasant experience at all to read.

So, basically, we know they don't mean stand together in a kumbaya acceptance of differences. Join them in their extreme point of view or be against them. Does that not strike them as being beyond ridiculousness?

Seems like a need to be a victim here more than anything, and the stars of their own stories.

They are welcome to their victimhood and their need to be tacky and namecall without the ability to handle any disagreement of their positions. They're the ones who'll have to face their children and explain their actions, both in their seeking of treatments for them and in the way they worked to pave the way for them into adulthood. Will these parents be able to look back at their actions and say I worked hard to make the world a nicer place, a softer place, a more accepting place so that you, my children, found your journey eased?

I know what my answer will be to that question.

Lyn said...

I just don't know how it helps an autistic child when they use words like holocaust and epidemic.
Those articles kind of depress me which is why I avoid reading them and would rather read folks like you and Kristina Chew or people who don't write about autism like it's this end of the world horrible tragedy or more annoying to me as a childhood cancer survivor, compare it to cancer.
I like the Neurodiverse people better. They try to understand autism and empathize with folks with autism and include them in the conversations that involve THEIR LIVES instead of shutting them out with such depressing language...

Also this person on an Asperger's group on LJ wrote a great article about that whole changeling thing... That howling over your child being stolen when they are right there to get to know and learn about.

And why is handflapping such a bad thing? I do that all the time... I never get that anti-stimming pro-normality that doesn't exist thing...

Mom26children said...

I just found this on the comment section of the blog Crystal wrote:

I love your blog. I also do biomed with my child and see such improvements daily. Beware of this bitch who just loves to rip people to shreds for helping their children. She claims to have five autistic kids of her own and has a real mean streak to her. She also claims to embrace autism yet I find her bitterness tells a different story. Keep up the great blog.

http://survivingmotherhood-mom26children.blogspot.com/

I commented but am not sure if it will show up....chicken shit anonymous...

Autism Dad said...

You sure are doing a lot of stereotyping and prejudging here. We do biomed and SCD diet for my daughter and have seen some great improvements. I don't preach at or judge anyone for how they raise their kids. I am thrilled that we eat healthy, my daughter loves eating now, my kid takes a solid poop per day, and has started pottying on her own.

I thought it was a pretty nice article from the heart, Crystal. Keep it up.

KWombles said...

Jeanette,

You're not at all bitter. You just don't tolerate fools well. And why should you?

You did an excellent job rebutting the piece and making it clear that this person's intent is not to get along, put the children first, make the world a better place.

She, instead, chose to draw a line in the sand, and to do it not only at her blog and AoA, but at the worst possible person's site to choose to ally oneself with. And it told everything there was to say about the writer. And it's a darn shame, since the argument she was making exists only in her and a few select others' minds.

Crystal said...

Mom26children,

I'm glad that you got a chance to read my article. First off, I wrote the AoA piece to first ask why it is that ND's find it necessary to blast biomeds. I have read some of the most hateful, disrespectful, spiteful things about those of us who choose to treat our children. Why? The only thing I mentioned was picturing one of those ND's foaming at the mouth. And, if you had read it, you would've known that it wasn't much of a stretch for that to happen. This person had some serious anger.

As far as my blog entry title, "Don't Fuck With Me Fellas, This Ain't My First Time at the Rodeo," you would have to be a friend on facebook to understand that. Please don't assume you know the inside jokes I present on my blog. And it wasn't even in response to an autism parent, it was someone who knew nothing about autism. I don't think it's fair for anyone who has no information on a topic to be judging me.

I'm not angry with the neurodiverse crowd, I just don't know why they spend their time trashing others when it could be spent benefitting their children or planning for their future.

In regards to your statement, "I dislike the fact that these parents find it okay to name-call and demean us on comment boards such as Age Of Autism," aren't you demeaning me in your blog? Isn't that contradictory?

For my "bringing it on" quote, I fully expected controversy. As far as I know, the only thing you can say I mentioned in a negative way about the ND crowd was the "foaming at the mouth" comment, which I stand by. When I read an article posted from such a mean-spirited person, I refuse to believe that she was anything besides rabid.

I just wonder why you are so against us? I'm sorry if you think we're whining about autism. But as I said in the article, the physical sickness is what I'm treating. And, it's improving. Why would I not want to treat gut issues if my son is having explosive diarrhea several times a day? I don't understand why people have a problem with it.

And I'm sorry if you think I don't want to stand united with others who disagree. All I ask is for just a little acceptance, which is what you're preaching for your OWN children. My article did just what I said was so upsetting to me. It gave you a reason to bash biomed parents. I would love to talk to you further about your anger toward biomed parents. I feel that I'm pretty open-minded. Clearly, you know where to find me. I'm really not as horrible as you make me out to be.

Mom26children said...

Hey Autism Dad,
I do not stereotype anyone...I judge by what is presented to me.
I have been called a liar, a bitch and a mother who does nothing for her children...1 of these are true..you have already decided your opinion of me.
The majority of the biomed parents who want to disrespect me do so anonymously...cowards!!!
I will debate anywhere, anytime...just have not had anyone with the courage to do so!!!

Mom26children said...

Crystal,
I did find you, but you did not post what I commented on your blog...I am waiting for you to "approve" it.
You have not!!!

When you allow commenting that is one-sided..you prove my point!!

Crystal said...

Well, dear, you've written an entire article bashing me, so why in the world would I let you bash another parent on my blog? That just doesn't make good sense.

Foresam said...

Hi Mom 26,
I'm not allowed to comment at AOA because they give you ND's credit for being human while I have other opinions of you (plural).

But, I've learned some more about you all lately and I have to agree that all of you are not purely evil. Thanks to Kim Wombles, I've learned that "evil ND's" might not be the appropriate term and that "Dummy Mommies" is probably more fitting.

farmwifetwo said...

Actually I find the ND version over on the Hub to do the "If you don't dance to our tune we won't let you comment or have your blog on our Hub". Let's post comments and posts about them and make snide remarks.. So, yes, IMO Crystal's opinion of them is valid. Stephanie, Jonathon, Harold, I may not always agree with them.... but they IMO have valid points to make... they can't be part of the Hub. So much for the Hub's "freedom of speech".

Also, I started Adderall for the youngest last Thurs. I love those Harold, yourself... that brag about not using meds for your children. IMO that's completely a personal choice and not using them doesn't make one a better parent. Med's are a valid tool within one's "toolbox". But I have noticed that "meds" are pretty much "taboo" over on the Hub as well.

The elder was on Risperdal for 2yrs until the rebounded. He is having more and more difficulty over the last 18mths he's been off sitting still once more... as a teenager he'll probably have to go back on them, but not likely Risperdal.

Little boy is having attention issues. Again, we don't expect any "cure", but if it makes it easier for him to learn, easier for him to communicate, IMO that's perfect. So far on the mild dose (it increases next Thurs and the Thurs after to the "regular" dose) the "autism" hasn't lessened (but that's not what adderall is for), but the words are coming easier... just short phrases, but new words "Oh no, Charlie's bone" (huh, he was paying attention to his Uncle tossing the dogs bone - got stuck on the garage roof - WOW!!!), new requests "taste Daddy" last night - he wanted to taste a cucumber from the garden, shocked us. Refusing to share his toys Sat night, although a problem, was still a milestone we hadn't reached.

Med's done properly, with proper supervision by a Child Psychiatrist can help a child with autism learn and grow as well.

Youngest will always have autism, will probably never live without care, but if I can help him control his own thoughts, control his own words, be part of the world around him... it's worth a try.

Using meds doesn't make you a poor or lazy parent.

KWombles said...

Gosh, Jeanette,

A good half of your article focused on comments made by others. I didn't see where you bashed this young woman. Bashing her would have been calling her names, demeaning her parenting skills. I think I saw just that in her article. I do, and certainly in the comments. Huh. So, more about the divide, then.

No, you simply posted about the contrast in tone between the two pieces, the discrepancy between the title of the AoA piece and what it actually said.


The young woman's comments here simply confirm that the only united front she appears to be interested in is in complete agreement for what she is doing/writing/saying.

She knew the piece was coming out on AoA, so she knew the first thing people would read when they clicked to her blog was the post you mentioned. She came into this wanting a fight. I have no idea why, nor how this helps children with autism, provides support for all parents, nor unites the autism community. I do see, though, that it gets her attention.

It has been an illuminating several weeks as "biomed" moms defend themselves against perceived attacks from moms who follow traditional therapies and hard one-on-one work, whom they have decided to label ND do-nothings.

It's an artificially, inaccurately constructed divide designed to soothe the doubts, fears, and concerns of certain parents. I think there are better ways to handle these kinds of feelings.

I think it's perfectly fine to be a bitch for one's child, to fight for the medical treatments and educational supports and accompanying therapies that one's child needs. I think it's right to be a bitch if necessary to make sure the world accepts differences and disabilities.

To be a bitch just to pick a fight with other mothers who are working hard for their children? Hmmm. Looks a little defensive and insecure. If a person's certain of her actions for her child, that she's made the right decisions, why the need to attack others who do not subscribe to the same beliefs? Because once a person's gone off the accepted scientific evidence and starts trying the products of folks who promise cures (but only if you and your child are up to the challenge-- any failure is your failure, not the treatments) while draining your wallet, well, then it's a belief, a hope, a prayer.

No, seems to me, the young woman wants a fight and figured to get one by posting her comment where she did. Why?

Mom26children said...

Crystal...what you just wrote makes absolutely no sense.
YOUR Commenter wrote:

Latest from Crystal's comments on her blog:
Anonymous said... I love your blog. I also do biomed with my child and see such improvements daily. Beware of this bitch who just loves to rip people to shreds for helping their children. She claims to have five autistic kids of her own and has a real mean streak to her. She also claims to embrace autism yet I find her bitterness tells a different story. Keep up the great blog.

http://survivingmotherhood-mom26children.blogspot.com/

All I tried to do was comment.
I believe I wrote:
"I am the bitch in question" and questioned this commenter as to where I rip parent's apart.
I also commented using my name, not needing to hide behind an anonymous label...
You are confusing me Crystal. You state you do not understand the difference between us, yet you will not allow a decent response on your precious blog...
WOW !!!

Mom26children said...

John,
You do not do anything that is constructive. You can comment here, but when and if you use vulgarities, your comments will be removed.
If you came over just to bash, then you will be leaving.
I saw Sam's picture..man, they do grow up fast don't they..what a beautiful young man you have.

Autism Dad said...

I disagree. You ARE prejudging all parents who do biomed. You don't seem that welcoming of diverse thought. I do accept my daughter and am not mourning. I just want her to have the most skills possible so maybe she can live on her own and maybe even grow up and have her own smart ass autism blog.

The biggest biomed thing we do is diet. All natural foods from scratch. No sugars, no preservatives, no dyes, no artificial flavors. She went from super picky with lots of runny poop to eating things that most parents only dream of their kid eating. She likes eating now, snacks on veggies, has solid poops, and actually gained weight for the first time in ages. She doesn't even want any of the illegal foods, she knows they make her feel bad. We go out to restaurants all the time and take her food and have a pleasant outing.

There is nothing risky about eating right. You eat good foods, you feel better, you're better able to learn and interact.

We are not broke. We are not in debt. We are not poor me, victims.

Also, our insurance does pay for a lot of biomed and ABA.

KWombles said...

Then perhaps she wasn't referring to you, Autism Dad? Is that possible?

The biomed/ND distinction that Crystal is presenting is not an accurate one. Responsible parents use vitamins and medications where needed. I've never seen Jeanette not advocate for that. I've also seen her several times write that if one's child has allergies to foods, of course a diet that avoids those foods should be used. If one's child has medical issues, of course those should be addressed.

Mom26children said...

Thank you KWombles...
Geesh...

What I find really, truly remarkable is the fact that I tried to comment back on Crystal's blog, only after being called a bitch by and anonymous commenter...and I am not allowed to do so.

Crystal's excuse is stated on my comments as:
"Well, dear, you've written an entire article bashing me, so why in the world would I let you bash another parent on my blog? That just doesn't make good sense."

So over in Crystal's biomedical world...where they do not understand the problems with the "battle" between the ND and the BM mommies...you can call a mother of 5 autistic children a bitch and then question her kids autism !!!
Don't have a clue why I would be upset about that..do you?

Autism Dad said...

Crystal didn't call you a bitch. You are lumping all bio-med parents together based on the comments of some. You even give examples.

I think this whole article has proved the underlying point she was attempting to make.

The problem is that biomed, ABA, other treatments do work for some kids. It's not black and white. On the one side, some parents do put too much into biomed. On the other, some kids that could benefit, are not being treated. Both of you are right.

Surely, there is some common ground, that we should be looking for, instead of a cat-fight, who's a bigger bitch contest.

KWombles said...

AutismDad,

Jeanette didn't say Crystal did. Reread her comment.

Mom26children said...

AutismDad,
I never said Crystal called me a bitch.
What I did say is that she allowed a commenter of hers call me one, and Crystal did not let me rebuttal with a comment.
That is very one-sided and that is why I wrote the comment on here, from Crystal's blog.

You can't yell "foul" and then not play the game fairly yourself..

Autism Dad said...

Well, I agree with that. I approve all comments on my blog.

Accepting your kid for who they are and wanting more from them, less stimming, more interaction aren't mutually exclusive.

Without intervention, she would be sitting in the corner tearing up paper all day. Or throwing the same toy on top of the frig a few hundred times. She is much calmer and less frustrated these days. I love who she is, but that doesn't mean I'm evil for wanting more.

Self advocacy is fine and dandy, but right now I am just thrilled that she has started using the potty on her own and not having never-ending runny poops.

She does love the computer and I would be thrilled for her to grow up and piss people off on her blog. :-)

Mom26children said...

AutismDad,

"She does love the computer and I would be thrilled for her to grow up and piss people off on her blog. :-)"

We can all hope for the same from our kids. I never have given up on my kids. We do have one child who is NT...and she confuses me the most.
We all want what is best for our kids, but lately, it seems that many of the autism sites are just throwing pity parties...frankly, I am tired of it.

kathleen said...

I find that this weird divide confusing. I have on a weekly basis seen comments on Jeanettes blog accusing her of bashing people..accusing her of denying treatment to her children/or the right of other parents to treat their children. None of this is true. I have heard her say that it is a parents responsibility to take of their children. Meaning that you medicate them when they are sick-if they have food allergies..figure out the diet-if they have sensory issues/can't speak/need fine motor large motor skills BY all means get them treatment. It is your responsibility to help your children-that is the message that I have gotten from Jeanette.
When I hear people say "Those crazy N.D.'s"-it is ALWAYS accompanied by the idea that acceptance means not doing anything-very far from the truth. However, it seems that when we speak and or write of these ideas-the only thing criticised is the false definition of what the idea of N.D. is.
I do all that I can to help my children-I am their mother that is my job. Luckily my children have never had allergies-reactions to foods etc. They are all thriving and healthy. Three of them have autism. When I see how far that they have come-from when they were first diagnosed-I am amazed. I also did absolutely no biomedical intervention..STOP! before you think I am criticising-I'm not. I am just saying how we went about things. However, when I do try to make a statement like this-it is taken as criticism..silly and a waste of time.
Don't we all want the same things for our kids? I for one would love to see more research done on autism..I would like to hear more input from adults who have autism..I would like to make the world a better place for all my kids-no matter what. Do we not want the same things?
Wouldn't it be great if all this vitriol could be put toward making those things happen? Because really-this is a weekly battle-and nothing is being accomplished. I don't need to be right-I need to get something done.

Foresam said...

Hi Mom 26,
It's difficult to educate ND parents when they all use buzz words like "evidence based medicine" and discuss how hazardous chelation is because one idiot doctor gave a child the wrong drug and killed him. We also see a never ending supply of nonsense regarding treating the alleged "co-morbid conditions".

You should know, as well as I do, that all of this junk comes from Frank Klein, Diva and Seidel who are either gone now or very quiet. These people preyed upon all of you ND parents to distract you from the truth.

You and I have both been dealing with autism since before anyone had any idea what caused it. So, how come you wound up following ND and I subscribed to chelation (not biomed)? Maybe your kids weren't so bad off that they could benefit from a behavioral approach. Mine couldn't, I tried it before chelation was learned and it was useless.

So, perhaps we're both right, Jeanette.

Autism, Asperger's and PDD/NOS need to have the symptoms described fully by parents, not some bonehead psychologists who write the DSM. That would be a good starting point to get a grip on how to find the best approach for every child.

The next step, that your ND cult vehemently disagrees with is, to have a hair test done for deranged mineral transport along with a genetic test. If that hair test shows mercury to be a problem, the only thing that makes any sense is to remove it as fast as you can. That's what ND is all about, denying the validity of that hair test to protect Pharma. There can be no other explanation.

That's where ND loses all credibility.

Mom26children said...

Hey John,
Nice comment over at Autism Bitch's site...
Do you really think that Pharma paid for my house?
I have always given you respect...
I just think I deserve the same...
I cannot rebuttle your comment on Crystal's site, because, dammit...she won't let me...
So, I will stop you from commenting here....
I really hope you find peace in your life. I hope Sam grows up and makes you happy...he has quite a challenge ahead of him.
He is beautiful and I hope you see that....
good luck and God bless you.

Crystal said...

I would e-mail you, but you don't have a contact address on your page. E-mail me corndoggirl1977 @ yahoo.com

Foresam said...

Jeanette,
You're not denying that Pharma arranged for you to get a free house so it must be true.
Sam was more beautiful before autism kidnapped his brain but, he's coming back. The autism is not beautiful.

Mom26children said...

Yes John,
I am denying that....
JEESH !!!

Foresam said...

Jeanette,
It's easy to address what I say when I use tactics similar to what Kevin Leitch uses against decent parents, isn't it? That's the game we play with Neurodiversity.

But, how come you have nothing to say about the non-incendiary comment I made just above this?

KWombles said...

I'm sure many of us agree with Kathleen's sentiment: that focus should be on research to effectively treat the behaviors that interfere with our children successfully navigating the outer world. And that supporting each other as we move forward to work with and for our children would be a more effective use of each of our time.

When certain parents would rather argue against fictional movements and arbitrarily and artificially constructed divided into the biomed (which obviously now means only those going down the woo trail and using alernative "med" that promises cures rather than parents who utilize pediatricians and psyciatrists for mainstream medications) and ND moms who apparently sit on their arses and eat bonbons while laughing as their childre smear feces, thinking it's all grand.

How anyone believes this distinction to be a valid one is beyond me.

And to then identify oneself as the valiant biomed mom railing against the mean ND moms is to cast oneself as both the victim and the star of one's show. It provides a narrative, certainly, for one's life.

How about not using fictional creations about two types of autism parents and instead talking about what one does for one's child and how that's working or not working, without assuming that someone else who doesn't choose that route is judging one negatively?

There are as many types of autism parents as there are parents. Many of us are banded together in a supportive environment and we're not bashing each other, and we're not expecting, demanding, requiring that we each agree down the line about autism, therapies, causations, etc. Isn't that something? We don't agree lockstep yet we respect and care for each other and have each other's back?

And we're the folks that people who label themselves biomed would choose to label ND moms, even though it is clear to anyone who has average reading comprehension that we do not believe, practice, or follow what they have fictitionally labled ND.

Jeanette,

It's a darn shame that folks have such a hard time reading and understanding what you actually write and instead overlay their own agenda on it, distorting it beyond recognition. I'd be snarky and point out that seems to be a consistent failing on the part of "biomed" moms, but... Maybe the moms who really are biomed moms want to take back that label? I wonder if this co-opting of the biomed label is an attempt to distance themselves from the anti-vaccine label?

Foresam said...

Kim,
"which obviously now means only those going down the woo trail and using alernative "med" that promises cures rather than parents who utilize pediatricians and psyciatrists for mainstream medications)"

You're forgetting about biomed Dads. We're the ones who have to explain things to you women so you aren't conned by the mainstream doc's who poisoned your kids in the first place. You ND's probably need more intelligent husbands to take control of things for you.
The women who recognize the fact that they are being lied to by doctors don't need any help. You, on the other hand, have not the slightest clue how to evaluate the facts here.
Psychiatrists can only help mental cases by giving them drugs to make them docile. They're useless when it comes to dealing with poisoned brains.
If I had you for a wife, I'd have you locked up for being an unfit mother.

Mom26children said...

Kim,
Just say the word, and off he goes...but, he does entertain me with his witty banter....

Jeanette

KWombles said...

Thanks, Jeanette. He ain't eating no hay, as my dad says. Let him be. I laughed my ass off reading it, so he's going to have to come up with something else to call me besides fatty. :-)

Foresam said...

I'm glad to see I made you loopy ladies laugh. However, I think that's just an excuse from the two of you to avoid addressing the points I made.

Mom26children said...

John,
We are avoiding "YOU", not your posts...they make us chuckle.

Mom26children said...

Crystal...I am so confused by your blog.
You have not let me comment...I have posted 2 comments to you that were not accepted, yet you let more than one person call me names and one insinuated that my home was bought by Big Pharma....
You tell me you cannot post my comments because your "agent" hasn't gotten back to you....
What would your "agent" say about all the hateful things you are letting through on your blog?
I think you have defined your agenda quite well...
You don't want to get along with anyone who doesn't agree with you...so very sad !!!

VAB said...

The woman in question is out for a fight. She dropped by my blog and left a snide comment. I don't know her from anywhere but she found my blog, and apparently not liking what she saw, tried to pick a fight.

I wise person once told me: when you argue with a fool, they are doing the same thing.

Mom26children said...

VAB,
I have taken your advice and noted it...
But, I am a stubborn Texan. I just want to be able to comment to the people who she finds acceptable to comment about me, on her blog...
Why are the rules so different over on that side?
How do I teach my kids how to stand up for themselves, when I cannot stand up for my kids?

Foresam said...

As usual, there's no shot at intelligent discourse here. I did try.
So, thanks for giving me more confirmation that my "Dummy Mommies" term for you is accurate.

Mom26children said...

Keep talking John,
You are making my job very easy !!

Foresam said...

Jeanette,
Will you tell me why Neuroinsanity is opposed to a hair test to determine the presence of mercury or not?

Can you answer that simple question without calling anyone a quack?

Mom26children said...

John,
I will answer your question...
I do not believe in mercury poisoning.
I know you do...I just disagree with you.
I believe there are really bad doctors out there who prey upon really good parents. They present a test....it is bogus.
I do not know you John. I do not dislike you at all. I actually think you are a caring father. Your demeanor is abrasive at times, but I know you are angry.
Back to the hair test...I think a doctor or a lab might tell you whatever you want to hear.

Foresam said...

Jeanette,
Whether you believe in a hair test for deranged mineral transport has no bearing on if it is useful or not. PhD chemists who interpret the test offer the scientific reasons that the test is valid. They don't just come out in favor of it because they believe in it.

People are curing their kids based on that test which indicates whether they should chelate or not.

Whether ND believes something or not is immaterial. Why do you insist on writing in opposition to this when all you offer as a reason is what you believe?

Your children can speak. Many can't. Your belief that you insist on publicizing has no basis in fact. Are you trying to prevent parents from learning how to remove mercury so that their kids might be able to speak, to learn, to function?

Why don't you just say nothing? Nobody cares if you treat your kids or not. Those of us who do remove mercury don't necessarily believe it either until we try it and see our children get better.

These are facts, Jeanette. We know the problem and we're solving it. There's no good reason for you to tout your beliefs when you ignore the facts.

Mom26children said...

John,
Where the hell have you been?
Our youngest is 8 years old and NON-VERBAL..he does not speak.
Our oldest is 18, but did not speak until she was almost 9...
without hair tests or removal of her mercury.
You have been sold a bill of goods. I am sorry you were. More sorry for your son.
You obviously have not read a thing I write or you would know my children have Autism....they are not what you call "retards"...they are human beings with Autism....
I feel really badly for you...you have sunk your head so far in the ground you cannot hear around you.

Keep looking...
Dr. Moulden, Dr. Yasko, Dr. Greir, Dr. Whatever...they are duping you over and over...

I will NEVER be able to say anyone duped me...I am thankful that I have a brain that is actually used.

Foresam said...

Jeanette,
The children who have been cured by Dr Cutler prove that you are the one who has been duped.
Sam's improvement by following his advice prevented Sam from being sent to an asylum. Hopefully, more improvement will allow him to live his life without ever seeing one of those places.

I know that it is an Autism Hub rule to deny the facts about all cured children. You've succumbed to the evil, Jeanette.

Mothership Captain said...

And to then identify oneself as the valiant biomed mom railing against the mean ND moms is to cast oneself as both the victim and the star of one's show. It provides a narrative, certainly, for one's life.
Nailed it, right there. It's not about her child, it's about her.

Foresam said...

Captain Mom,
We don't expose the propaganda and stupidity of Neuroinsanity for ourselves. We already know you're all berserk.
We oppose your nonsense so other innocent parents don't fall into the same inane idiocy that you did.

Janet said...

I always enjoy reading your blog because you have such a common sense approach to parenting. Having older children on the spectrum who have shown improvement and survived to tell about their experiences :-) gives you a lot of credibility in my book! I never realized there was such fury in the autism community at large. Where we live autism spectrum disorders are quite common and we all seem to struggle along just fine despite differences in how we treat our children. Reading that last post made me feel very thankful for the solidarity we've found with local moms. Perhaps I should avoid the online autism groups :-)

Jeannette said...

I am just starting to reach out on the Internet and look for support and the nastiness that I've seen is astounding. I use medications for my son because I am fearful of what a danger he is to himself and others without them. But, oh, how I wish I didn't feel it necessary. I applaud you that you are making it work without meds and just cannot understand why some of these women are so hateful to you. I would be asking for advice, rather than bashing something that works for your family.