I went to the grocery store recently...heck, I live at the grocery store, it seems.
Caitlin was buzzing joyfully and flapping her hands so hard, I thought she was going to take off flying. SHe was behaving and so happy..I don't know why, but she was.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a young woman yells down the aisle at me..."HEY, SHUT YOUR RETARD UP"!!!!!
I had to stop, take a breath, and grasp the words I just heard. I explained to this early-twenties-something, Generation X, hateful person that she was not "retarded" but Autistic.
This not-so-lovely person said, "LIKE THERE IS A DIFFERENCE"...
I explained, very calmly by the way, that my daughter was much smarter than she could ever think about being. I also explained that when you use words like "Retard", "Moron", "Stupid", etc....you are not hurting the person you are calling a name to, you are showing your "ignorance".
Now, I hear, there is a movie out that Ben Stiller helped to pen. I like Ben Stiller...he is funny. The fact that he chose to use a word like "Retard" in his movie...not so funny.
Now Ben Stiller has made it okay for young people, like the young woman who berated my daughter in the grocery store, to do the same to other differently-challenged people....
SHAME ON YOU Ben Stiller...SHAME ON YOU!!!
About Me
- Mom26children
- I am the proud mother of 6 children. 5 of our children have autism. We do not feel our world has ended, but just begun. We do not chelate, intervene biochemically, give shots of any kind, practice ABA, etc. We treat them as we treat any humanbeing. We treat them with kindness and respect and expect the same from them. They are exceptional children.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
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11 comments:
This makes me sick. You have to wonder who in this scenario is really challenged--your daughter or the ignorant cretin who yelled at you. God bless you for keeping your patience. You are right about Ben Stiller--it is just one more example of society giving "permission" to treat people with disabilities like non-humans. (Take a look at my blog for further thoughts on him.)
ugh. "not-so-lovely person" doesn't even know how deeply ugly her expressions make her.
ugh, as a 20 year old I just wanted to assure you that not everyone in my generation is like that. I promise that some Gen Xers are the sort of people that will refuse to see that new movie and advocate for people like your wonderful Caitlin to express her happiness anyway she pleases! (In part thanks to the protests the movie has a much more dismal opening than expected)
If you cured your kids, nobody would call them retards.
John Best,
You are, by far, the WORST person to explain to ANYONE how to be civil or compassionate.
You are a bitter, mean and nasty.
You and your "ilk", as Diane likes to call them, are sorry excuses for parenting not only a child that needs the civility and compassion.
You demean and debase Autistic people daily. I truly do feel sorry for your child(ren)...
NO ONE has a right to call my child anything but CAITLIN...especially not you.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a young woman yells down the aisle at me..."HEY, SHUT YOUR RETARD UP"!!!!!
Ugh!
I had to stop, take a breath, and grasp the words I just heard. I explained to this early-twenties-something, Generation X, hateful person that she was not 'retarded' but Autistic."
Using the r-word the way that woman did is hateful toward anybody. It doesn't matter if the person she's talking about actually has an intellectual disability or not.
Arguing that you shouldn't be called "retarded" because "I'm not retarded!" just reinforces the hatefulness of that word. It's saying that "I don't deserve to be called 'retarded' in such a mean, hateful way, but other people [i.e. people with intellectual disabilities] do."
Jeanette,
I only demean frauds. I have never demeaned an actual autistic person.
I fight to get them the medical treatment they need so their brains will work right and they won't endure life with a diminished mental capacity. I think that's a better solution than trying to educate rednecks and lowlifes.
Your forbearance is great! I am afraid I wouldn't be able to keep myself from replying "Not unless you shut your hideous mouth and learn some manners, you dreadful creature" or words to that effect.
Forget the haters. They are not worth remembering.
Wow, what an amazingly ignorant and rude young woman. I don't know that I could have remained so calm in that situation.
NononononononoNO! Please tell me that this was just a bad dream, that this did NOT really happen! I feel sick to my stomach. I want to cry. I can't believe that someone would say that to you, to your innocent lovely child.
It still amazes me that people intentionally hurt other people and can be so cruel.
I am 53 and have Asperger's. I have 3 college degrees and worked as a computer programmer/analyst. Later when I got tired of that I worked as a freelance photojournalist.
I just wrote to John Best and told him that I like me as me and wouldn't want to change. And that he needs a brain transplant.
Mary Anne
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