About Me

I am the proud mother of 6 children. 5 of our children have autism. We do not feel our world has ended, but just begun. We do not chelate, intervene biochemically, give shots of any kind, practice ABA, etc. We treat them as we treat any humanbeing. We treat them with kindness and respect and expect the same from them. They are exceptional children.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

LIKE IT OR NOT.....

I read many blogs..
Some make me think...
Some make me happy...
Some make me mad....
and some make me really MAD...

Today, I went through my usual blog ritual and came across one that I frequent daily. I will not name this person, because I have not asked permission.
The blog is written by a mother of more than 1 autistic child. These are well-loved and extremely well-cared for children. You can tell this mother loves her children.
Though I may not agree with some of her "biomethods"...I know this mother is a good mother, and in my book, that is really all that matters.

Anyway, she got me thinking about being a mother to an autistic child(ren)...no matter who we are, we are mothers.

16 1/2 years ago, I gave birth to a gorgeous hazel-eyed, brown-headed girl. She was difficult from birth, but I swore I would never let her be unhappy. I have stuck to that promise, though at times, it has been a challenge.
I remember when Caitlin was diagnosed and the feelings I felt...
I will quote from the time of her diagnosis that I wrote in my journal on Feb 13, 1995...

"Caitlin was labeled with Autism on Friday, February 10, 1995. I always knew it, but the reality of Autism hurts.
It affects every cell of my body.
I have always wanted control over my surroundings-and I cannot control Caitlin's AUTISM.
I have read everything I can get my hands on about autism. There is still no comfort.
I want to know my daughter will have a full and useful life-"

I have written almost every day since then in journals....soon to be a book, I HOPE.

I have been through the Anger, Pain, Hurt and Sadness of having a child diagnosed with Autism 5 times. Each time was just as difficult.
Honestly, these emotions took too much of my time....I had children to raise.
But, as these children have grown and matured, I realize that they are amazing and gifted children. They are all individuals with their own personalities.

I do not worry about the causation of Autism any longer....it took too much of my energy and made me very angry and bitter....

I now focus on the future of my children. I focus on making these amazing children develop and grow into equally amazing adults. I need to secure that they will be accepted by society. I need to not only make them ready for society, but society ready for them.
I think we are on the right path.

All of them are fully-inclusioned, except Kiernan....he is attending a life-skills program with partial inclusion-NOT MY IDEA.
Kiernan would be in regular education if it were up to me....it ain't over yet, though.
They attend all social functions and activities.

When they are out in public, the stares and the whispers DO NOT bother me.....I am so damned proud of my children that when this happens, and it is rare, I honestly do not take much notice. I am beaming that my children are as functional in society as they are.

While eating lunch out today with my husband, myself, Erin, Patrick and Meaghan (Kiernan was at school, Deirdre at Confirmation Camp out of state, and Caitlin at home) I noticed 2 small boys running around like little maniacs. They were crawling under tables and running around poles. These were not autistic children, they were very "normal".
The mother's of these 2 hellions were chatting it up...I do not think they looked up one time to see if their children were behaving.
When a patron approached the mother's to please keep their children out from under their table, one of the mother's stated that this is what children do.....
NOT MY CHILDREN! My little lovlies were sitting tall in their chairs eating their lunches and behaving quietly....I was so proud of them.

Don't get me wrong, if someone confronted my children or threatened them in any way...let's just say, it would not be pretty.

So, back to the blog I was writing about, before I got onto my soapbox.....we may not always agree on what the right course of actions are correct for the treatments of our autistic children, BUT when it comes down to it we really do have one thing in common....

We are all mother's to Autistic children--LIKE IT or NOT.

5 comments:

farmwifetwo said...

That is my #1 peeve - behaviour. The T that did the parent classes even said it was ok that her TEENAGE son took ice out of someones drink in a restaurant... HUH????

My 5 and 7 yr old sit in a restaurant.. they don't run around. And one has a dx on either end of the spectrum

IMO - autism may be the reason, but it's not an excuse.

Have you ever heard Dr Temple Grandin speak? I nearly didn't go see her... she was excellent.

S.

mcewen said...

Gosh, I'm not quite sure how to respond, but because of my new 'delurk' campaign, I can say that I certainly agree whole heartedly with the last statement.
Best wishes

Camille said...

Yeah, I think I know which blogger you meant. She's not to much into acceptance until she needs acceptance for her kids. People better not pick on or put down my ASD kid. When xe was little I did go ballistic a few times on people who tried to hurt my kid (actually, did the same regarding the NT kid).

Your family is wonderful, no one should ever try to make you feel less.

Bonnie Ventura said...

When my family goes out to eat, we usually go later in the evening, so as to avoid the obnoxious families that let their little kids run all over the restaurant without any supervision.

If parents want to let their children run around while they eat, they should go to a McDonalds Playplace or some similar place that is designed for kids to run all over.

Domestic Goddess said...

Before I knew my guys had autism I never, ever let them run around like little maniacs. They don't do it in the grocery store, they don't do it at the mall and they don't do it in any place we eat.
If they misbehave we leave, end of story. I don't expect anyone to agree with my stance, I know that when I am out someplace wiht my husband without kids, we'd like a peaceful meal with no screaming. When I am with my kids, I expect the same. That said, we also don't take them to certain places, because they are too over-stimulating and too expensive for me to be taking them outside for 1/2 the meal.
We aren't perfect, but they sit and eat like they are supposed to. One has a "classic" or "Kanner's" autism diagnosis and is considered "severe." But he sits and behaves. Even if it is a short amount of time. Why? Because we figured out how to distract him, how to keep him busy and quiet and how long it takes certain places to prepare food. We frequent the faster places! HA!