LIKE IT OR NOT.....

I read many blogs..
Some make me think...
Some make me happy...
Some make me mad....
and some make me really MAD...

Today, I went through my usual blog ritual and came across one that I frequent daily. I will not name this person, because I have not asked permission.
The blog is written by a mother of more than 1 autistic child. These are well-loved and extremely well-cared for children. You can tell this mother loves her children.
Though I may not agree with some of her "biomethods"...I know this mother is a good mother, and in my book, that is really all that matters.

Anyway, she got me thinking about being a mother to an autistic child(ren)...no matter who we are, we are mothers.

16 1/2 years ago, I gave birth to a gorgeous hazel-eyed, brown-headed girl. She was difficult from birth, but I swore I would never let her be unhappy. I have stuck to that promise, though at times, it has been a challenge.
I remember when Caitlin was diagnosed and the feelings I felt...
I will quote from the time of her diagnosis that I wrote in my journal on Feb 13, 1995...

"Caitlin was labeled with Autism on Friday, February 10, 1995. I always knew it, but the reality of Autism hurts.
It affects every cell of my body.
I have always wanted control over my surroundings-and I cannot control Caitlin's AUTISM.
I have read everything I can get my hands on about autism. There is still no comfort.
I want to know my daughter will have a full and useful life-"

I have written almost every day since then in journals....soon to be a book, I HOPE.

I have been through the Anger, Pain, Hurt and Sadness of having a child diagnosed with Autism 5 times. Each time was just as difficult.
Honestly, these emotions took too much of my time....I had children to raise.
But, as these children have grown and matured, I realize that they are amazing and gifted children. They are all individuals with their own personalities.

I do not worry about the causation of Autism any longer....it took too much of my energy and made me very angry and bitter....

I now focus on the future of my children. I focus on making these amazing children develop and grow into equally amazing adults. I need to secure that they will be accepted by society. I need to not only make them ready for society, but society ready for them.
I think we are on the right path.

All of them are fully-inclusioned, except Kiernan....he is attending a life-skills program with partial inclusion-NOT MY IDEA.
Kiernan would be in regular education if it were up to me....it ain't over yet, though.
They attend all social functions and activities.

When they are out in public, the stares and the whispers DO NOT bother me.....I am so damned proud of my children that when this happens, and it is rare, I honestly do not take much notice. I am beaming that my children are as functional in society as they are.

While eating lunch out today with my husband, myself, Erin, Patrick and Meaghan (Kiernan was at school, Deirdre at Confirmation Camp out of state, and Caitlin at home) I noticed 2 small boys running around like little maniacs. They were crawling under tables and running around poles. These were not autistic children, they were very "normal".
The mother's of these 2 hellions were chatting it up...I do not think they looked up one time to see if their children were behaving.
When a patron approached the mother's to please keep their children out from under their table, one of the mother's stated that this is what children do.....
NOT MY CHILDREN! My little lovlies were sitting tall in their chairs eating their lunches and behaving quietly....I was so proud of them.

Don't get me wrong, if someone confronted my children or threatened them in any way...let's just say, it would not be pretty.

So, back to the blog I was writing about, before I got onto my soapbox.....we may not always agree on what the right course of actions are correct for the treatments of our autistic children, BUT when it comes down to it we really do have one thing in common....

We are all mother's to Autistic children--LIKE IT or NOT.

AND THE SURVEY SAYS....

Okay, now we have a problem.....I read this morning on the Autism Web that they are stating that 1 in 58 children in Great Britain have Autism. Why don't we just say that EVERYONE has a form of Autism?

If the spectrum is going to include OCD, ADD, ADHD, Bi-Polar, Classic Autism, PDD-NOS, ODD, etc...then every human being will fit into the Autism Spectrum.

The world consists of a diverse group of people. Some people are obsessive compulsive...for example, obsessing on every negative story written about Autism or writing about people or groups of people negatively, because they do not agree with you.

Some people are defiant against everything from cooking dinner to opposing the War in Iraq.

I know some adults who are so hyperactive, they cannot sit and enjoy time with their own families.

There are many ADD adults out there who cannot focus on one activity at a time....myself included, although, I am self-diagnosed....

There are children who do not fit into what society calls "normal", so they are given a diagnosis of PDD-NOS....that dx has always ticked me off.....

And I know more undiagnosed Bi-polar people than I can count on both hands and feet.....



There are so many mothers that are medicated with anti-depressants....why the heck do you think your children would not have some sort of disorder, if you yourself do? I am not saying you should not be medicated to control your depression...I am just saying that your child may have the same symptoms you do.....



We have become a society of "LABELS"...we feel the need to put names on people for no reason other than we do not agree with someone.....

I am quite fond of the labels given to me from one lovely Googlywhatever......

"Attention Whore", "moron", "idiot", "nauseating", "free-loading".....
This person, who does not know me from Adam, feels that I use my children to get their checks....big bucks there folks...
That I am a moron for not accepting Dr. Wakefield's help...again, Googly...has no idea what was offered to my family and why this did not come into fruition...but, that is my business with the Thoughtful House, not Googly......
I am an idiot for accepting my children's Autism....we know my stance on that one...but, I question why every child who has had chelation in their rectum now has some sort of bowel disorder?
Nauseating...well, that is a personal choice...I will give that one to them....I can see where this person would find me nauseating, but what I do not see is why they would subject themselves to reading my blog if it makes them "ill".
Attention Whore...you better believe it...if I can educate parent's of Autistic children to learn to embrace their children's diversities and uniqueness, instead of trying to "cure" them...then, more power to ME...
Googly... also states that there is no proof of what I say....
BULL...I have proof right here in my home. I have functioning Autistic children. I have children that are successful in school, the community, church, social activities, and in life. These children are thriving...can you say the same about yours?
What you saw on television was 45 minutes...it was taken out of 100s of hours of video tape. I would love for other's to see how my children handled skiing, plane trips, eating out in public, etc...all, by the way, without one hitch.....(except when Caitlin got sad when her caregiver had to leave early because of a family emergency....she cried because she was really sad...she has come so far).



In our home, the number is 5 in 6 children have a form of Autism. 13 years ago, just 2 would have been diagnosed. But, because the diagnosis criteria has changes so drastically, 5 of our children can fit the diagnosis.



Every person in the world has a uniqueness that makes them who they are. Because society will not conform to these unique people, they feel they must label them.

If everyone fits into the spectrum, then Autism will be the norm and Normal will be the disability.



My questions are:

1. Why are the numbers continuing to rise if the thimerosal has been reduced or discontinued in the process of making the vaccinations?

2. When are they going to go back and start from square 1 on how to diagnose Autistic children?

3. When are people and parent's going to accept that we are all born with amazing gifts that do not always conform to what we want them to be?

4. When are doctors going to stop handing out the diagnosis of Autism like handing out the lollipops or stickers at the end of the visit?

5. When are educators going to learn how to truly educate our children as individuals and not as a group in whole? All children learn at a different pace....ALL CHILDREN.

6. When is the Autism community going to rally together instead of backstabbing, insinuations, and downright negating others on public and private forums? We all have a common bond and need to learn from each other....

So back to the original premise of my post....
In the near future, will everyone be able to have the diagnosis of Autism...?

AND THE SURVEY SAYS.....