When I discovered I was pregnant in 1990, I was so happy. No, I was ecstatic.
I was almost 30 years old and so happy to be carrying a life inside of my body.
I went to every pre-natal visit. I quit smoking and drinking. I was so happy with
my body for the first time in my life.
I had no expectations of what was to be...in fact, I was quite ignorant to what life
disruptions a baby would bring...but, Man, I was so thrilled when Caitlin was born.
Caitlin was not your ordinary baby...she screamed 12 hours a day. When she slept,
I was exhausted and slept with her.
Did I resent this..??
I was so thankful to have this amazingly beautiful daughter to call mine.
Caitlin was diagnosed with autism in 1993. We were contemplating having more
children. We got the go ahead that it is unlikely we would have any more children
When I was pregnant with Deirdre, I knew the signs of autism and looked closely for
them. Deirdre came out calm and happy. Born in a birthing center with no interventions.
Calm and serene..just like her.
She spoke by 6 months..early, I thought.
Yet, I had no expectations of her. I just wanted the same as I wanted for Caitlin...
and..I was just happy to have her in my life.
Erin came out screaming....I knew in the first minute of her life she had autism....
also born in the birthing center...no interventions...yet....autism at birth.
Meaghan was born 14 months later than Erin. She was birthed by the same midwife
as Deirdre and Erin. She was gorgeous. She was calm and happy.
She has remained that way.
Little Patrick and Kiernan were both born in a hospital. They were both complicated
births. I was 39 and 40 years old with their births. Little Patrick the screamer...Kiernan
calm and collected.
Funny how that turned out...Patrick calm now and Kiernan so full of energy.
I read other blogs where they talk about their children regressing. We have never seen
this "regression" in our home....don't know why...I could say what I think...but really,
what's the use ???
I read where a mother, who is pregnant with her second child, is upset because her
first born is becoming agressive and so much bother...
my question is...why is she having another child?
If she cannot handle being the mother to this first child, what makes her think she
is going to do so much better with the second?
My hope is the baby she is going to give birth to is perfect in her eyes....this little child
has a lot on their plate.
Another mother wrote that her child is "almost human" after biomedical interventions...
how sad this child was never looked at as "human" before, in their mother's eyes..
I will say this again and again...
I am so proud that God chose me to be the mother to my children.
I am so blessed that God chose Patrick to be my husband and the father to these children...
We adore them and we expect them to be exactly what they are supposed to be...
I thought about this post today, during my breaks....
I have decided to add something...
I do have expectations from my children:
I expect them to treat others kindly.
I expect them to behave when we are in public. I allow them to stim if it helps them
calm down (meaning...buzzing quietly or covering their ears and humming).
I expect them to behave in school.
I expect them to make the best grades they are possible of making.
I expect them to treat their friends like they want their friends to treat them....
I read stories about how sad and angry parents are that their children did not
turn out the way they expected. It makes me so very sad. My heart hurts for
I want these children to know they are cared for. I pray for them every night.
I also pray for the parents and hope they find a place where they can stop looking
and feeling like their children are damaged or broken.
I don't expect that to happen, I only can hope and pray for that !!!
- I am the proud mother of 6 children. 5 of our children have autism. We do not feel our world has ended, but just begun. We do not chelate, intervene biochemically, give shots of any kind, practice ABA, etc. We treat them as we treat any humanbeing. We treat them with kindness and respect and expect the same from them. They are exceptional children.
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