RIGHT ON TARGET...

I was out shopping today at Caitlin's favorite store...Target. I was buying last minute items for school. Caitlin's shoes...which she is so picky about, Meaghan's undies, and socks for the boys.
We were recognized a handful of times by some other shoppers. They congratulated us on our new home and told us how beautiful our children are.
Upon checking out, I noticed a tall young man in front of me. He wanted a soda. The young lady with him told him he had enough sugar for the day and could have water. He shook his head up and down in agreement.
This young woman then asked the young man to move forward so I could put my items on the belt. He obliged. He then started to smile, then giggle, then flap his hands in front of his face....
Ah...AUTISM.

I asked the young lady how old he was. She told me 16. I asked what grade...she told me 10th...
Exactly like Caitlin.
I turned around and Caitlin was giggling and flapping her hands in a very similar way as the young man.

When we were leaving the store, Deirdre asked me if the young man I was speaking with was autistic. I told her yes. She said, "I thought so, because he acted alot like Caitlin".

It pleases me to see these young adults out in public. Not wearing their pants so low that you can see their butts...not yelling obscenities at each other....not needing to defy authority in any way, shape or form....
Just young people happy to be at one of their favorite stores...lightly buzzing and flapping their hands. Two 16 -year old teens behaving and waiting their turns until they will be rewarded with a cold drink.

I realize people want more for their children. I do too. I expect all of my children to attend college. They do not have to attend Yale, but Harvard would be nice.
I expect them all to contribute to society in whatever they are capable of doing. I would expect this if they were not autistic...so this label does not stop me from wanting the same results from them.

School starts Monday...
Caitlin-10th grade
Deirdre-8th grade
Erin-5th grade
Meaghan-4th grade
Patrick-2nd grade and
Kiernan-1st grade.

These children will be expected to remain on the honor roll, have great behaviors at school and continue their extracurricular activities.

So far, we are RIGHT ON TARGET.....

EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION...The Update...

Tonight at 7pm Central time, they will be reairing our Extreme Makeover Home Edition episode. When it originally aired in February, we had 75 people here with us....the builder and his wife, teacher's, therapist, the local ABC station, neighbor's and many friends. Also, my mother.
I have been thinking all day about how my family's life has changed so much from the door-knock day on December 10, 2006.

1. We have an amazing new house and furnishings. We were blessed to have been given Jimmy Jacobs as our home builder. He put so much love into the building of this house. He is a man of great faith, and it is impermeated in our home.
2. We have less debt. Not debt-free by any means, but much less debt.
3. We have great new people in our lives. This is good for our family. You see, we don't have many family members involved with our family. My sister is overcome with her own life...we had a falling out a couple of years ago. Long story...no need to bring it up right now.
My brother comes over for holidays..that is probably a good thing. My mother is great, but she is 70 and can only handle so much.
Patrick's family has never been in the picture since his Daddy died in 1997....that was his lifeline to his family.
We have made our family. This includes many people who were "hand-picked" so to speak. These are people we have met through fate that we have invited to be in our family. Lucky for us, they have obliged us with their amazing presence. These are all kinds of personalities. These are people who bring light and joy into our home.....that is what we needed.
4. We have been exposed, so to speak, to other's who seek our advice on parenting. I love the limelight....my husband does not. He gives me the microphone....I take it willingly.
5. Our children have become a year older, and with that they are showing us amazing gains in their personalities and their lives. They are more confident with their peers and happier than they have ever been. Kiernan has decided that "more, Mama" needs to be his only Phrase right now...it gets him what he wants.

There is absolutely no way we could ever thank everyone involved with our Extreme Makeover. From the first set of producers..Quintin and JD...to the second...Andy...to the third...Herb...to the fourth...Mark. From the amazing design team of Ty, Tanya, Paulie, Eduardo and Paige. From all of the many, and I mean many, behind the scenes producers and directors, gaffer, gofers, caterers, lighting, makeup, etc people who gave up the week before Christmas to make our home.
To the people who put up our Christmas tree and Christmas lights so we could have Christmas.
To the many restaurants who donated gift cards and year long meals....extremely grateful from this mother of 6.

What you will see, or have seen is 45 minutes of a miracle...but in reality it has lasted all year long. You will see the things that were chosen to be on television. You will not see the many hours we spent with ski instructors in Crested Butte, Co. You will not see the way my children were skiing on the first day in Colorado. Note: my children were skiing..not their mother.
You will not see the over 1000 persons who labored night and day for 106 hours to get a house built for a family they did not know. We have since received a behind-the-scenes documentary about the build of our home. The interviewed many of the people who worked on our house. These people were a gift to us.

To this day, I get stopped at least once a day and told that we have an amazing family.
I knew this all along...
Now I am happy to share it with everyone else.....AGAIN.

PLAYING FAVORITES...

I have been going to the same grocery store for 11 years now, since their Grand Opening 11 summers ago...

At check out the other day, Lucy, one of my favorite checkers asked me if I had a favorite child....she has never had a child, so does not know the bond of a mother and her children...

I answered, " Lucy, picking a favorite child would be like picking my favorite George Strait song....cannot be done"...

Let's see,

Amarillo by Morning, The Fireman, Baby Blue, Check Yes or No, The Chair, Pure Country, Texas Cookin'....man, I just cannot decide. I love them all the same. Each song has a special place in my brain for the first time I ever heard it.


I would probably pick Amarillo by Morning, because that was the first song I ever heard George sing live....


We could go hear him sing for $1.00 per person. Free beer for ladies. Not good beer, but FREE beer....means alot to a college student.

George was humble even back then. He would pose for pictures and sign autographs. The bigger he became, the greater his talent became.

I thank George for alot of memories. Some good, some not so good. But memories I have thanks to George.

Now, back to my children.....

Caitlin..first-born. She taught me how hard it was to be a Mommy..I thank her for that. She paved the way for the rest. She taught me that I do not need to "cure" her, but to teach her to be a person who will succeed in society....she is doing Great.

Deirdre...second-born. This child has NEVER given us a moment of trouble. She has been calm and sweet from the day she was born. She is smarter than any human I have ever met.....she makes me so happy.

Erin...third-born. She made me wake up again with Autism. She was loud from birth, but has blossomed into a sweet and thoughtful little girl. She is loved by all who she comes in contact with. A sweeter soul I have never met.

Meaghan...fourth-born. This child is a red-headed firecracker. She keeps me on my toes and I love it. Ask me again when she is a teen-ager.....hopefully, she will keep me young.

Patrick....fifth-born, first son. No one touches a mother's heart like a son. He grabbed my heart at birth and has not let go. I feel badly for the woman he brings home to marry....let's just say, it won't be pretty....

and Kiernan...sixth-born, last child. This little man will always be my baby. He is gentle of soul, but one non-stop whirl of activity. He will give you a hug and a kiss without a blink, but then, he is gone.....he makes me smile.

So, in conclusion...as you can see, I have trouble picking favorites. I find something wonderful in all of my children. They all bring a different flavor to the table. They complete my soul and fill my heart. I am blessed to have been given the opportunity to have given birth to each and every one of them.


I hope they know this......

I know I tell them.

I AM A PROUD CARD-CARRYING MEMBER OF...

THE NEURODIVERSE.....



Okay, I have said it...

Now, let me start the 12 step program....



1. I will treat my Autistic children with RESPECT....note, I said my Autistic children....

My 13 year old BRILLIANT daughter, who happens to have Asperger's has told me she prefers to be called Autistic, rather than having Autism....

2. I will admit that a power greater than myself made these amazing children who they are and it is beyond my control to try to change them.

3. I will take away the powers of the "pseudo", "quacky" doctors who try to cure my children and let them be the truly gifted children they were meant to be.....
Note: I did not say take away the necessary therapies; ie, speech, occupational, physical and play therapies necessary for the growth and improvement of our autistic children.

4. Morally see that my children are the gifts they were meant to be.

5. Admit to my children that I will never do anything to harm or change them.

6. I am entirely ready to teach them and society to be ready for their gifts.

7. Remind them to be humble and respectful. To be able to behave themselves when out in public. To show the world that Autism is not threatening to society.

8. Make a list of all the "quacks" in the world and do my best to avoid them.

9. Do my best to teach the parent's of newly diagnosed parents know that there is life beyond the initial diagnosis.

10. Continue to stand by my ethics and ignore the negative that is always trying to intrude into our lives....you know who you are...

11. Make sure my children ALWAYS know they were wanted. Not the image of the child I thought I would have, but the gift that stands before me.
Knowing that Autism is not about me as a parent....but about the child in front of me.

and 12. Having known that my child will not only be a vital part of society, but Society will be vital having my children involved.


My daughter Deirdre asked my why every show on Autism is about the parent whining about having an Autistic child. She was devastated when she watched "Autism Every Day" when the mother of a child stated she wanted to drive off a bridge....the child was sitting right there.
Deirdre was confused what Autism had to do with the parent.....
This child is BRILLIANT....

Autism is not about good parenting, bad parenting, grandparenting, etc.

Autism is about accepting a social group of persons who are different than what society considers to be "normal".....
Autism is not threatening to society.
Persons with Autism will teach our society how to be more caring and loving. They will teach us that we do not have to be the same...we are all beneficial...

At least, that is what we are being taught in my home......