Yep...it is that time of year for ordering the cap and gown for the high school
student who is about to graduate.....
It is just setting in that I am the mother of a Senior in high school.
And, believe it or not..
Caitlin is so excited to walk with her graduating class.
Yes, I had to coax her into it...
"It is too noisy"...
"too many people"...
I said, "Caitlin, You have worked so hard for this and dang it,
I want you to do this"...
"Oh, okay..."...
17 years ago, we did not know what Caitlin was capable of.
She was non-verbal and very destructive and aggressive.
We had her in extensive therapies and made sure she was inclusioned
throughout her eductation. We had an amazing group of people, in the last 17 years
who made sure my daughter would not fail.
BUT...the most of the credit is put to Caitlin.
I know my critics state that she is not "that Autistic"...but, you would be so wrong.
This girl has to struggle with sounds and lights around her that drive her nuts.
She takes a situation and adapts....
She hums and stims...she jumps and paces...she adapts....
but..Don't we all?
You won't read this on Age Of Autism...
You won't see the determination of a severely autistic child who has maintained an
A-B average since elementary school. Who has had amazing behavior at school despite
the fact that she gets disturbed by behaviors around her. You won't read how she
graduated from a public high school with NT classmates.
You won't read how she is graduating by making grades....not just passing...but truly
graduating with her class.
You won't see this on AoA, because this is not a "pity party"....this is a CELEBRATION!!!!
Am I proud...
DAMN STRAIGHT!!!
So, today, with great pride (yes, I am tearing up as I write this)..
I got to order my daughters cap and gown for her GRADUATION !!!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
HIGH EXPECTATIONS...
When I discovered I was pregnant in 1990, I was so happy. No, I was ecstatic.
I was almost 30 years old and so happy to be carrying a life inside of my body.
I went to every pre-natal visit. I quit smoking and drinking. I was so happy with
my body for the first time in my life.
I had no expectations of what was to be...in fact, I was quite ignorant to what life
disruptions a baby would bring...but, Man, I was so thrilled when Caitlin was born.
Caitlin was not your ordinary baby...she screamed 12 hours a day. When she slept,
I was exhausted and slept with her.
Did I resent this..??
Hell No...!!!
I was so thankful to have this amazingly beautiful daughter to call mine.
Caitlin was diagnosed with autism in 1993. We were contemplating having more
children. We got the go ahead that it is unlikely we would have any more children
with autism.
When I was pregnant with Deirdre, I knew the signs of autism and looked closely for
them. Deirdre came out calm and happy. Born in a birthing center with no interventions.
Calm and serene..just like her.
She spoke by 6 months..early, I thought.
Yet, I had no expectations of her. I just wanted the same as I wanted for Caitlin...
happy.!!
and..I was just happy to have her in my life.
Erin came out screaming....I knew in the first minute of her life she had autism....
also born in the birthing center...no interventions...yet....autism at birth.
Again....no expectations.
Meaghan was born 14 months later than Erin. She was birthed by the same midwife
as Deirdre and Erin. She was gorgeous. She was calm and happy.
She has remained that way.
Little Patrick and Kiernan were both born in a hospital. They were both complicated
births. I was 39 and 40 years old with their births. Little Patrick the screamer...Kiernan
calm and collected.
Funny how that turned out...Patrick calm now and Kiernan so full of energy.
I read other blogs where they talk about their children regressing. We have never seen
this "regression" in our home....don't know why...I could say what I think...but really,
what's the use ???
I read where a mother, who is pregnant with her second child, is upset because her
first born is becoming agressive and so much bother...
my question is...why is she having another child?
If she cannot handle being the mother to this first child, what makes her think she
is going to do so much better with the second?
My hope is the baby she is going to give birth to is perfect in her eyes....this little child
has a lot on their plate.
Another mother wrote that her child is "almost human" after biomedical interventions...
how sad this child was never looked at as "human" before, in their mother's eyes..
I will say this again and again...
I am so proud that God chose me to be the mother to my children.
I am so blessed that God chose Patrick to be my husband and the father to these children...
We adore them and we expect them to be exactly what they are supposed to be...
GLORIOUS!!!!
I thought about this post today, during my breaks....
I have decided to add something...
I do have expectations from my children:
I expect them to treat others kindly.
I expect them to behave when we are in public. I allow them to stim if it helps them
calm down (meaning...buzzing quietly or covering their ears and humming).
I expect them to behave in school.
I expect them to make the best grades they are possible of making.
I expect them to treat their friends like they want their friends to treat them....
I read stories about how sad and angry parents are that their children did not
turn out the way they expected. It makes me so very sad. My heart hurts for
these kids.
I want these children to know they are cared for. I pray for them every night.
I also pray for the parents and hope they find a place where they can stop looking
and feeling like their children are damaged or broken.
I don't expect that to happen, I only can hope and pray for that !!!
I was almost 30 years old and so happy to be carrying a life inside of my body.
I went to every pre-natal visit. I quit smoking and drinking. I was so happy with
my body for the first time in my life.
I had no expectations of what was to be...in fact, I was quite ignorant to what life
disruptions a baby would bring...but, Man, I was so thrilled when Caitlin was born.
Caitlin was not your ordinary baby...she screamed 12 hours a day. When she slept,
I was exhausted and slept with her.
Did I resent this..??
Hell No...!!!
I was so thankful to have this amazingly beautiful daughter to call mine.
Caitlin was diagnosed with autism in 1993. We were contemplating having more
children. We got the go ahead that it is unlikely we would have any more children
with autism.
When I was pregnant with Deirdre, I knew the signs of autism and looked closely for
them. Deirdre came out calm and happy. Born in a birthing center with no interventions.
Calm and serene..just like her.
She spoke by 6 months..early, I thought.
Yet, I had no expectations of her. I just wanted the same as I wanted for Caitlin...
happy.!!
and..I was just happy to have her in my life.
Erin came out screaming....I knew in the first minute of her life she had autism....
also born in the birthing center...no interventions...yet....autism at birth.
Again....no expectations.
Meaghan was born 14 months later than Erin. She was birthed by the same midwife
as Deirdre and Erin. She was gorgeous. She was calm and happy.
She has remained that way.
Little Patrick and Kiernan were both born in a hospital. They were both complicated
births. I was 39 and 40 years old with their births. Little Patrick the screamer...Kiernan
calm and collected.
Funny how that turned out...Patrick calm now and Kiernan so full of energy.
I read other blogs where they talk about their children regressing. We have never seen
this "regression" in our home....don't know why...I could say what I think...but really,
what's the use ???
I read where a mother, who is pregnant with her second child, is upset because her
first born is becoming agressive and so much bother...
my question is...why is she having another child?
If she cannot handle being the mother to this first child, what makes her think she
is going to do so much better with the second?
My hope is the baby she is going to give birth to is perfect in her eyes....this little child
has a lot on their plate.
Another mother wrote that her child is "almost human" after biomedical interventions...
how sad this child was never looked at as "human" before, in their mother's eyes..
I will say this again and again...
I am so proud that God chose me to be the mother to my children.
I am so blessed that God chose Patrick to be my husband and the father to these children...
We adore them and we expect them to be exactly what they are supposed to be...
GLORIOUS!!!!
I thought about this post today, during my breaks....
I have decided to add something...
I do have expectations from my children:
I expect them to treat others kindly.
I expect them to behave when we are in public. I allow them to stim if it helps them
calm down (meaning...buzzing quietly or covering their ears and humming).
I expect them to behave in school.
I expect them to make the best grades they are possible of making.
I expect them to treat their friends like they want their friends to treat them....
I read stories about how sad and angry parents are that their children did not
turn out the way they expected. It makes me so very sad. My heart hurts for
these kids.
I want these children to know they are cared for. I pray for them every night.
I also pray for the parents and hope they find a place where they can stop looking
and feeling like their children are damaged or broken.
I don't expect that to happen, I only can hope and pray for that !!!
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
PARENTING....Is Not For The Faint Of Heart....
When I became pregnant with Caitlin, over 19 years ago, I knew that I had
been given an amazing gift. At the age of 30, I was going to become a mother
and I knew my life would change forever....I had NO idea of the journey that
was about to happen in my life....
19 years and 5 more children later....my journey continues.
Caitlin will be 19 years old next week. So, for the last 19 years, I have parented
a child with Autism. Well, make that...I have parented 6 children...5 with autism.
Was it easy.???
NOPE...parenting is hard work.
This morning, as part of my morning ritual, I read AoA and JB Handley's blog on
how hard it is to be a biomedical parent.
This is part of what he wrote:
Soon after my son’s autism diagnosis, my wife and I were receiving advice from a DAN! Doctor helping our son. Transdermal glutathione and something very smelly called TTFD were prescribed, and we were told to rub each of these creams on his skin every night. “How long do we need to do this for?” I asked. “Six months, maybe a year,” came the doctor’s reply. “A year? Are you kidding?” I couldn’t believe it, what an inconvenience! Those of you who are biomed veterans are already smiling. Five years later, I see the world a little differently, and I have this to say to all parents battling autism: This job of recovery ain’t for the faint of heart.
Okay...first off...
six months to a maybe a year...
I think it has been way longer than that JB !!!!
And you still trust this DAmN! doctor...???
Cream on the skin...???
Whatever !!!
Parenting my children has not been easy, but man, I would not trade one minute.
I have children who have come from non-verbal to excelling in school and in life.
Our children have extracurricular activities that NT kids have.
Our youngest, who is still non-verbal...yet, very opinionated, is thriving in regular
education classes due to the fact that he has devoted teachers and therapists who
expect nothing but the best from him.
I do not know what the AoA crowd expected when they were preparing for the birth
of their children.
If they were expecting the homecoming queen or the football king. The next president
of the United States or the next Man in space...
But, what I see is that it is not about their child, but how they are perceived with their
child.
Recently, I read a post about a mother who was upset that her children were not going
to be the most popular children in school. They would not know the upset of breaking up
with a boyfriend...would not know the fashion senses that they are supposed to know...
I think about Meaghan, who just turned 12....the angst of boys, makeup, clothes and grades.
The fact that she is aware of all of this...
It takes me back to my childhood and all the 12 year old angst I felt...
It has not changed in 37 years...still the same snarkiness.
Yet, Meaghan has an advantage over these kids....she is amongst a family who accepts
and loves people for the way they are..
She is nurturing and loving...she cares for her fellow classmates, even when they are hateful
and rude.
I am so gratefully proud of her...
and all my kids...
Parenting these children has not been a hardship,
it has been a blessing...
and I continue to thank God every day for allowing me to
be a part of their lives...Autism and all...
So, JB....
It is not about how much cream we smear on our kids,
or how we alter their diets,
or how we take them to a doctor who will tell us in 6 months to a year
that our children will be "normal" that
makes us a great parent...
It is about walking the floor with them at night when they cannot sleep...
it is about making sure their homework is done...
it is about making sure they mind their manners and face adversities
when others do not want them to...
It is about taking them to their band and choir rehearsals , speech therapy, occupations therapy, baseball practices...
it is about making sure they know no matter what...they are why we were
put here on Earth
It is about waking up every morning and thanking God for putting
these amazing kids into our lives !!!
Yeah...I tell it like it is too.....!!!
been given an amazing gift. At the age of 30, I was going to become a mother
and I knew my life would change forever....I had NO idea of the journey that
was about to happen in my life....
19 years and 5 more children later....my journey continues.
Caitlin will be 19 years old next week. So, for the last 19 years, I have parented
a child with Autism. Well, make that...I have parented 6 children...5 with autism.
Was it easy.???
NOPE...parenting is hard work.
This morning, as part of my morning ritual, I read AoA and JB Handley's blog on
how hard it is to be a biomedical parent.
This is part of what he wrote:
Soon after my son’s autism diagnosis, my wife and I were receiving advice from a DAN! Doctor helping our son. Transdermal glutathione and something very smelly called TTFD were prescribed, and we were told to rub each of these creams on his skin every night. “How long do we need to do this for?” I asked. “Six months, maybe a year,” came the doctor’s reply. “A year? Are you kidding?” I couldn’t believe it, what an inconvenience! Those of you who are biomed veterans are already smiling. Five years later, I see the world a little differently, and I have this to say to all parents battling autism: This job of recovery ain’t for the faint of heart.
Okay...first off...
six months to a maybe a year...
I think it has been way longer than that JB !!!!
And you still trust this DAmN! doctor...???
Cream on the skin...???
Whatever !!!
Parenting my children has not been easy, but man, I would not trade one minute.
I have children who have come from non-verbal to excelling in school and in life.
Our children have extracurricular activities that NT kids have.
Our youngest, who is still non-verbal...yet, very opinionated, is thriving in regular
education classes due to the fact that he has devoted teachers and therapists who
expect nothing but the best from him.
I do not know what the AoA crowd expected when they were preparing for the birth
of their children.
If they were expecting the homecoming queen or the football king. The next president
of the United States or the next Man in space...
But, what I see is that it is not about their child, but how they are perceived with their
child.
Recently, I read a post about a mother who was upset that her children were not going
to be the most popular children in school. They would not know the upset of breaking up
with a boyfriend...would not know the fashion senses that they are supposed to know...
I think about Meaghan, who just turned 12....the angst of boys, makeup, clothes and grades.
The fact that she is aware of all of this...
It takes me back to my childhood and all the 12 year old angst I felt...
It has not changed in 37 years...still the same snarkiness.
Yet, Meaghan has an advantage over these kids....she is amongst a family who accepts
and loves people for the way they are..
She is nurturing and loving...she cares for her fellow classmates, even when they are hateful
and rude.
I am so gratefully proud of her...
and all my kids...
Parenting these children has not been a hardship,
it has been a blessing...
and I continue to thank God every day for allowing me to
be a part of their lives...Autism and all...
So, JB....
It is not about how much cream we smear on our kids,
or how we alter their diets,
or how we take them to a doctor who will tell us in 6 months to a year
that our children will be "normal" that
makes us a great parent...
It is about walking the floor with them at night when they cannot sleep...
it is about making sure their homework is done...
it is about making sure they mind their manners and face adversities
when others do not want them to...
It is about taking them to their band and choir rehearsals , speech therapy, occupations therapy, baseball practices...
it is about making sure they know no matter what...they are why we were
put here on Earth
It is about waking up every morning and thanking God for putting
these amazing kids into our lives !!!
Yeah...I tell it like it is too.....!!!
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Stay Tuned....
Today, I received no less than 10 emails informing me about the Lancet retraction....frankly, I could care less !!!
I went and looked on AoA and noticed that they have rebutted over and over again...kind of funny how they are protesting a bit too much !!!
Then, I went on a few other "predictable" web sites and read "predictable" comments on how if it was not for this amazing doctor..their children would be in "AUTISM HELL"..
I am the mother of 6 children...5 with some form of Autism. I think we know a thing or two about autism.
Contrary to popular belief...they are all AUTISTIC.....!!!
Without the aide of biomedical treatment..which includes B12 shots, IVIG infusion, chelation, scoping, spinal taps, lotions, suppositories and creams...our children have improved. As a matter of fact..they are excelling.
Being from the great state of Texas:
where we "cure" our meat and "recover" our furniture....I find those words offensive.
My children have all improved since their individual diagnoses...mainly, because, we never thought they wouldn't. We never made them feel they could not achieve any goal they wanted to meet. They are amazing.
Now.. I know this is hard to believe, but I have never posed for Playboy, and Oprah does not grovel over me (though she probably should ;) ), but I think I have a thing or two to offer to parents who are raising autistic children. I don't have all of the answers, but after 19 years, I have learned a lot from my children.
I have an interview with a pretty big news entity this week...will I speak my mind??...What do you think????
Stay tuned.....
I went and looked on AoA and noticed that they have rebutted over and over again...kind of funny how they are protesting a bit too much !!!
Then, I went on a few other "predictable" web sites and read "predictable" comments on how if it was not for this amazing doctor..their children would be in "AUTISM HELL"..
I am the mother of 6 children...5 with some form of Autism. I think we know a thing or two about autism.
Contrary to popular belief...they are all AUTISTIC.....!!!
Without the aide of biomedical treatment..which includes B12 shots, IVIG infusion, chelation, scoping, spinal taps, lotions, suppositories and creams...our children have improved. As a matter of fact..they are excelling.
Being from the great state of Texas:
where we "cure" our meat and "recover" our furniture....I find those words offensive.
My children have all improved since their individual diagnoses...mainly, because, we never thought they wouldn't. We never made them feel they could not achieve any goal they wanted to meet. They are amazing.
Now.. I know this is hard to believe, but I have never posed for Playboy, and Oprah does not grovel over me (though she probably should ;) ), but I think I have a thing or two to offer to parents who are raising autistic children. I don't have all of the answers, but after 19 years, I have learned a lot from my children.
I have an interview with a pretty big news entity this week...will I speak my mind??...What do you think????
Stay tuned.....
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