About Me

I am the proud mother of 6 children. 5 of our children have autism. We do not feel our world has ended, but just begun. We do not chelate, intervene biochemically, give shots of any kind, practice ABA, etc. We treat them as we treat any humanbeing. We treat them with kindness and respect and expect the same from them. They are exceptional children.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

OH, GROW UP !!!!!

Just kidding.... I have come to a crossroads in my life about what the future holds for my blog. I am definitely not closing this blog, I will update occasionally, but I have decided to steer my energy towards a new blog (which will be about a passion of mine). Before I begin the newest blog in my life, I feel I must update this blog. The blog that let me talk about my kids, vent my feelings and go on my rants about what really ticks me off. This blog, that introduced me to the most fascinating and amazing parents of autistic children and autistic individuals themselves. So, here is my latest update...almost a year since my last.....and boy, have things changed in the O'Donnell house. Caitlin has become gainfully employed by a State Agency. Yes, she is still highly affected by autism, but at the mature age of 22 (next month), she has grown into a mature young woman. and Yes, she still has her outbursts and her need to jump and flap, but she controls herself enough in the work environment to maintain a great job. She was hired through her job training at Goodwill. I cannot say enough about the program she is in and will age out of in June. She is still living at home, which she will continue to do until we can no longer care for her or she no longer wants to be here. Deidre, 19 in May, started college in North Texas in August. She is thriving, to say the least. She lives in a dorm and has the most amazing Suite-mates a mother could ask for. She maintains a 3.9 GPA all while socializing (yes, Aspergians socialize) and helping to run a campaign for a local Democratic politician-much to my Republican dismay. I guess we did raise free-thinking young adults after all. Erin, 16, will begin drivers education with her sister Meaghan in a couple of months. They are very excited. Erin has continued to astound us with her wisdom and knowledge. She is so very smart. At almost 6 feet tall, she carries herself with the grace of a much older soul. Sometiimes she acts too smart, and I gently remind her that some would consider that rude to show your intelligence with such vengeance. She takes voice lessons and from what I am told, she will probably be able to go to college with her voice. Oh yeah, She is still diagnosed with autism, but lost her Special Education services 2 years ago through the school system. Meaghan, 15....what can I say about this young woman? The most beautiful red-headed girl I have ever seen (yes, I am biased). She is probably also the funniest individual I have ever met. With her wit comes intelligence. Enough for her to be inducted into the National Junior Honor Society. Teachers and students love her for her sensitivity and caring attitude towards others. She also does not tolerat bullying one little bit. Patrick, 13-egads, already a teenager. He is in the 7th grade and has more friends than I can count. He is active in his select baseball team and loves playing. They even named an award after him for persavering through all obstacles. He maintains good grades and was awared Student of the Month in November. He is getting tall like his daddy and just as handsome. He also lost Special Education services, yet still has the label of Autism (though not in the school system). He is virtually indistinguishable from his peers (but middle schoolers are not that tolerable, if you know what I mean). and Kiernan, 12 in March. He is hitting puberty with a the speed of sound. He has had some regressions since starting middle school. We are working hard with him, slowly but surely we will get there. He is still non-verbal, and yes, still wears a pull-up. According to certain parents, this makes him less, but this young man is anything but less. He will get potty trained eventually. We just need to work on the behavior issues at hand right now. He is making wonderful grades and the teachers love him. Patrick and myself are doing well for being married for over 21 years. I started working full time at a job I love (something I did over 20 years ago). We all try to see Deirdre as often as we can....we miss her so much. The house is still wonderful. We have tried real hard to maintain the home and have made a couple of changes to the kids rooms as they grew up. Our home is still full of friends and family, with the exception of my mother. My Mother passed away in late May from a stroke. On that day, our world changed forever. I had to take a step back and grieve as I have never grieved before. One month later, I attended my Uncle Dennis' funeral. So, needless to say, last Summer sucked. To end this I will only say, after catching up with the Autism forums this weekend, yep, 2 of our children have lost their special education standing at school, yet still have an autism diagnosis. They did not "outgrow" autism, they are just 2 autistic children who grew up !!!!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Dear Autism....

Dear Autism,

When I first met you, it was over 40 years ago, when as an 11 year old girl, I babysat for the first child I ever was introduced to with you. A beautiful tow-headed little boy with no words and a smile that would melt my heart.
A few years later, when I was hired at a Residential Treatment Center while attending college, I met you again. This time, there were several young women, from their early teens to their mid-40's who taught me the meaning of loving and caring for a person with you.

Well then, Autism, you decided that I was a prime candidate for children with Autism. Yep, not one child, but 6 children, 5 with Autism.
I happily accepted the position of mothering these amazing children.
Through them, I have learned that you, Autism, are not as dreaded and horrible as those who write about you.

Caitlin, our oldest, has just turned 21 years old. She is in a program that teaches her work skills. She is smart and oh so very very funny.
Yep, she will need our care for the rest of our lives...and then she will need to be looked after by someone else after we are gone, but she will have the ability to earn a living and possibly live in a Group Home that will love her as much as we do.

Deirdre, our second, will be 18 in May. She is graduating this year in the top 1/3 of her very large class in her very large high school. She has applied to 5 very large universities throughout the United States and has already been accepted to a highly regarded university in the Northeast....I am so very proud....she even received the Dean's scholarship. She is majoring in Theater Arts and one day, mark my word, you will be sitting in a theater watching her movies. WOW is all we can say about this witty, loving and slightly sarcastic daughter of ours (the sarcasm comes from her parent's BTW) is the diagnosis of Asperger's is not a reason to give up on your child.

Erin, our third, turned 15 last year. Man, this young woman is smart. She is active in many extracurricular activities and has many friends. Including Deirdre, who is in the activities with her. To listen to them talk about Anime' or Writing club or NHS blows me away. This girl will go on to become something amazing...I just know it.

Meaghan, our fourth, is 14. She is what you people call Neurotypical....There is nothing about her that is like anyone else.
With her red hair and blue eyes against her pale skin..she catches the eye of many young boys. She has no interest, thank Goodness...right now, she wants to be the best cupcake maker EVER !! No doubt she will succeed.

Patrick, our fifth and first-born son. He is now 12 years old. What once was a child who was afraid to do anything without me, has become so independent. Not only is he on one baseball team, he was asked personally to join another due to his dedication to the team he was on, and his ability to remain calm when the other kids are acting up.
I was so worried when he went into Middle School (after losing his Special Education diagnosis with his school district. He has become a strong-willed little man. He still struggles with some things, but his determination will get him through anything.

And then, Autism, you gave us Kiernan. He is our soon-to-be 11 year old boy. He is our most affected with you.
That does not keep him from being the smartest, most charming child anyone has ever met.
Because he does not speak, you do not keep his feelings hidden. He shows everyone, in other ways, how smart he is and how loving of a young boy he is.
Kiernan continues to make straight A's in school and will be attending Middle School with his brother next year. Kiernan, like his oldest sister, will more than likely require continuous care himself. This is not an easy thing to talk about, but we must face his future with optimism and hope that there are people out there that will love him as much as we do.

Geesh, the year's have flown by.....

So, Autism, you have been twisted and formed by so many people who want you to be something you are not...

I, personally, am happy they are changing the DSM.
When this happens, we will lose 3 off of the spectrum. 2 who were diagnosed as severely autistic by the time they were 3 years old, and are now considered Aspergian's.

Our 3 who will lose their diagnosis with the new criteria will be fine out in this quirky little world of ours. They will all fit in and be amongst the Neurotypical with no one noticing one little bit.
You know why....
There is no such thing as "NEUROTYPICAL"...

We all have our quirks and funny little behaviors...how else do you think there are so many strange reality shows?

Yes, Autism, I have been away from the Autism forums for a while...I am much more sane in my world than their petty, bickering little area of life.
My children need me to mother them, not have my head in the computer trying to prove how "RIGHT" I am all of the time. I will leave the "Right-fighting" to those with the anger and the time to do so.

Yes, Autism, I have stepped away from my blog, so I can focus on my full-time job as a mother and my other full-time job in the travel industry I love so much.

Autism, you do not define my children, you are just a label put on them by doctors.
You are not their souls or most importantly, you are not their hearts. Those belong to them and to those around them that love them as much as we do.

You have taught me to be a more patient mother, to be calm when they are not, to fight for their educations, to teach them that some people are just not so nice (but that usually means they are so very unhappy themselves).
Through you, my children have taught me humility, compassion and the ability to not give up no matter what.

This may sound funny to some, but frankly, I do not care....

Thank you !!!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Age (s) of Autism.... I Couldn't Resist :)

I have amazing news..news that I cannot hold back any longer!

Our daughter Erin, age 14, was diagnosed with severe Autism in November of
1997. She was the "worst case of autism" our pediatric neurologist had ever
seen...and he had already seen our oldest daughter Caitlin.

Erin started pediatric intervention when she was 13 months old. She actually
had 3 therapist work with her because she was so difficult.
Feces, soap, detergent, lotion, toothpaste, etc...was smeared all over our house.

When she started PPCD classes at 3, they were told..."you think Caitlin is bad, wait
til you meet Erin"...

Erin thrived...she blew these teachers away.

Erin, this week, no longer meets the criteria for Autism in the Austin Independent
School district.
Erin, this year, has been inducted into the National Junior Honor Society...
Erin, this year, was on the President's list of 8th grade students...

Our 11 year old son, Patrick, was diagnosed with Autism in January of 2002.
He had early intervention at 11 months of age and qualified for PPCD at 3 years
of age.
Like Erin, he thrived in school.

2 weeks ago, at Patrick's Transition ARD to Middle School (OMG..Middle School),
Patrick was released from Special Education Services.

Yep...we have 2 children who have opted out of services in AISD.

I credit inclusion and some of the most amazing therapist who have worked with
the throughout the years.

You will not read about these children on Age of Autism...they were not "cured" or
"recovered".
Their stories will not sell medicine or make a doctor famous.
They would be disgusted with a "woe is me" story.
They will not sell a book...although they should.

Are they no longer Autistic.?
Nope...
They are able to be indistinguishable from their peers in the school setting.

They are amazing kids. They have both learned how to be tolerant and calm
in situations they have no control over.
Hell, you try to sit in a school cafeteria without losing you mind !!

At home, we still let them be them...but, we could not be happier with whom they have
become !!

Congrats to our two 2011 graduates...Erin and Patrick....you will change the World!!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

STROKE of INSPIRATION

Life seems to be coasting along and then suddenly, with the blink of an eye...it all changes.
Last Wednesday, March 16, 2011, my Mother collasped in her home. After many tests, they finalized she had a mini-stroke or TIA.
My mom will be 74 in April. She works full-time and drives everywhere. She travels extensively and has the same group of friends she has had since elementary school.
Now, this has all changed...with the snap of a finger!
She is now reliant on people to walk, sit up, eat and even go to the bathroom.
It is heart-breaking to look into her eyes and see how she has come to realize that her life will be changing.
Her short-term memory has suffered, yet she can remember things from over 60 years ago. They say this is common with at stroke.
Her balance is off and her stamina is so much shorter.
Her near future is still left to be determined as far as where she will live and how she will occupy her free time...
But, I am thankful she is still here !!!

Needless to say, our lives have been altered as well as my Mom's.
I have changed my work schedule thanks to my amazing bosses, who have worked with
me so I can be with my Mom every day.
I put Kiernan on the bus at 6:30 am and am to work by 7:00 am.
I am off at 3:30 pm and head straight to the hospital, where I stay until
8:00 or 9:00 pm. Then home I go!!
Patrick has taken over the cooking and every day running of the house.
On weekends, we have our regular functions; ie, Little Patrick's baseball, Deirdre's
church functions, and this last weekend, Caitlin's Special Olympics---she won
a Silver medal in bowling, etc.
Some of the children go with me on the weekend to visit their MeMaw..those that can
handle a few hours at the hospital.
Usually a couple on Saturday and a couple on Sunday.

Having raised 6 children, 5 on varying levels of the Autism Spectrum, I have a great amount of patience. I pride myself on my husband's and my patience level. We have been tested numerous times in our 20 year marriage.
This past 2 weeks, I have been reminded how very strong our bond is. Through Patrick's stregnth, I have found my own.
Our children have all stepped up to the plate as well. They are well-behaved and helping out around the house.
They all have matured so very well and we are so proud of the young adults they are becoming.

Caitlin, our oldest and Kiernan, our youngest and most affected by autism, have raised to this challenge as well. They are remaining calm and happy during this big change in their life.

I am sure, no matter what lies ahead on the next chapter of our lives, we will continue to be the strong family unit we always have been.
I have been inspired by many this past 2 weeks:
-My family for coming together and allowing me to be with my Mom as much as possible.
-My work place...which I love so very much, for allowing me to readjust my schedule and
for caring about me and my mom enough to do so.
-My friends..for rallying together and making my life a bit less stressful than it should be...and shame on you (you know what I mean!!)
and most of all..
-My MOM, for showing me what it means to fight hard and never give up. To persevere beyond
all odds and to keep fighting for your dignity and your health.

You all inspire me to be a better me...and I thank you all for that !!

Friday, January 21, 2011

BUSINESS AS USUAL...

With all of the HOOPLA going on this past 2 weeks about the fraud reported about the MMR vaccine and Autism...
we, the O'Donnell family...have gone about with life with Business
as Usual...

Our children...all 6 of them, 5 with Autism...have continued to thrive.
All while many changes have gone on...

This week, I decided to catch up on the old forums I used to visit....
I tried to contribute, but honestly, why bother ???
Diane is still bitching and moaning (but thank the Lord she has found SpellCheck), AIR is still sure she was not duped by the goings on of the Mercury Militia, and so on..
Nobody keeps insisting they are Somebody..but, frankly, they are still Nobody!

The good folks at AoA are still insisting that this whole fiasco is propaganda
started by the good ol' USA...and they should know about Propaganda!

Poor George Stephanopoulos decided to take on the doctor the Mercury Militia love so very much...he did not understand the backlash that they would bestow upon him..
George was accused of not even reading the Doctors book...how in the heck would these people know if he did or did not read a book...do you have spies that go that far into a person's life?
If you do, believe me, it would not surprise me at all !!

I received a Kindle for Christmas from my wonderful husband. My first purchase was
Kim Stagliano's book...I actually did not hate it..but,there was one comment she made that I must question..
She stated AoA was started and they would welcome comments...what she did not say was they would welcome comments ONLY if you agree with AoA...she also did not mention that they would hunt down the commenters that disagree with them ( I do not have to elaborate..they know what I mean)..the email witch hunts they do are brutal...
I also notice AoA has changed it's format..they went from looking like the blog they are to a more newspaper kind of format...I guess they think this will make people take them more seriously...
but, SERIOUSLY...they are still just a blog people !!

My second book I bought..The Panic Virus...by Seth Mnookin....thanks Seth, I really hope these desperate parents listen to you...better than that...I hope the doctors who have duped these parents listen more..
Seth dug deep into all the hysteria that surrounds the Mercury/Autism connection. He did this without having anything invested in Autism. He did not write this book to sell a vaccine. He is not riding on the coattails of parent's desperate for a cure or a recovery.

We have people who believe their Autistic children have been cured by listening to Jenny McCarthy and JB, even while their own children are still in Special Education receiving services....

I have a friend who is seeing a local doctor who scoped her child..you guess who the doctor is...she regrets getting involved with this center...but, has invested so much money and emotion..she has been resolved to think they would not lie to her...
she is far too invested...her son is still Autistic...she was told she started too late to help him....SHAME ON THEM !!!

I am so proud of my family.
We wake up every morning...the kids go to school (where they excel, BTW)...Patrick and I work full time...and we join together as a family every night...
All of the kids have extra-curricular activities, with the exception of Kiernan.
Caitlin won a gold medal in bowling at The Special Olympics, she was so proud, as were we of her.
We have family and friends over every weekend...
we carry on..
Business as Usual !!!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

NEW YEAR...!!!

2010 came with a whole slew of changes in our lives...

I started a new position at work...which I love !!! I work with people
whom I love to see every day, and I hope they feel the same way about me !!

I turned 50 years old in November and was thrown a terrific surprise party
full of Old friends and New friends....
Shortly after that, I took a few of the kids to the Domain (a funky mall by our
house)...we were there to take a few coats to the Coats for Kids drive.
I had ulterior motives...Every morning I listen to a local radio station. The
very funny on-air personality "Heather in the morning" had spoken about her autistic
son going to Florida with her husband and daughter. However, she never said how
he did...the son, I mean...
So, Heather in the morning was going to be at the Coats for Kids drive...and me...being nosy (I like to call it inquisitive) wanted to find out how her son
did on the flight.
I saw a beautiful, nicely dressed woman approaching the table they were setting up
for the coat drive..I yell, " Are you Heather in the morning"? She politely
said she was....
I say, "So, how did your son do ? I need to know".
She told me how he did....
We started talking and soon she was hanging out with me, Deirdre, Erin, Meaghan and little Patrick...
We exchanged phone numbers and I am thrilled to say...her family is now a part of
our family....!!!

Caitlin is in the Goodwill Go Project and doing amazingly well. She is well-loved and the star of the program I am told. She works hard and loves going into work.

Deirdre has been inducted into the National Honor Society....I am so very proud. She volunteers often and even took a baby sitting job at the elementary school. GO DEE !!

Erin has blossomed socially and has many friends that share her interests. She loves the friends in her life...she even thinks of them when shopping. She continues to get straight A's and will be starting High School next year...oh my...time flies !!

Meaghan turned 13 years old on Saturday. She is such a mature young lady...with a quick wit and incredibly funny !!! She has so much of her daddy and my humor...I don't know if that is good or bad...but she is hilarious. She is also incredibly beautiful with her huge blue eyes and red hair.

Little Patrick turned 11 in December. He is finishing out his 5th grade year and will begin Middle School in August. He still plays baseball and wants to play football next year-I am still debating that one. He makes As and Bs and is loved by the whole school.

Kiernan is in 4th grade and making great strides. He is still non-verbal but has a voice non-the-less. He knows what he wants and makes sure you understand. He has a straight A report card and glowing remarks about his behavior.

Patrick and I work very hard to make this family work. We have children who most people would have given up on. We have children who some would want to alter or "fix", because they would be looked up on as broken....

The past couple of weeks the Autism community has been more divided as ever. With the conclusion that a certain British, used-to-be Doctor altered his findings and committed fraud (their words, not mine)..those on the side of the Mercury Militia will always believe that he was correct. They are far too invested financially and emotionally to turn back now. It really does not matter what is proven...minds will not be changed..and that is the sad fact about that.
People would rather believe a "has-been" B-movie actress who touts Bo-tox and breast implants, but screams that vaccines are bad....I cannot even fathom that intellect !!

So, here I sit typing...I have missed blogging, but my life has truly been busy. Our children are thriving and growing up. They are maturing and are quite actually amazing young adults and children. Between baseball, choir, band and orchestra...the Anime' and German clubs...and countless recitals and ball games...well, you get the gist !

With all the hysteria that went through the Autism community and the treatments that were thrown out to parents with autistic children...I am so glad my husband and myself did not buy into it....
Our children have thrived without the creams, shots (be it B12 or Lupron), chambers, scopes (ouch), chelation and countless number of pills shoved down their throats....
They have thrived with hard working educators, therapists, friends and family...
they have worked hard to be in the places they are...
And I would not want them anywhere else !!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

EMPATHY AND AUTISM...

I went to help Caitlin after her bath tonight....
I have a strained voice from my cold so I am not speaking in my normal
voice...

Caitlin said, "You're voice is sick !!"
I said, "Just a cold Caitlin, but Thanks"..
Caitlin said, "I will share my cough drops with you"...!!!


To the studies that state there is no Empathy with AUTISM...

YOU have not met MY children....!!!!

I know Short but Sweet...!!!
BUT...worth telling !!!

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

GOD'S EARS ....

"GOD'S EARS" IS A FILM FULL OF HOPE

Written, Directed and Starring Michael Worth

As a mother of 6 children, 5 autistic, I rarely have a chance to even watch a film but, I heard about this film called "GOD'S EARS" about an autistic young man well over a year ago and I finally just received the DVD and I have watched it 4 times already! Up until now, the only way you could see the film is if you were actually at a film festival. Finally, the filmmaker is now ONLY selling it off his website which is www.godsears.com


The story is about a fictional character named Noah Connelly who is a boxer with a tireless opponent: Autism. When he meets a "dancer" named Alexia, the two discover together that the toughest fight may be not be of the body, but of the heart. You see, some people are not fighting to win...

First let me say that Michael Worth did an amazing job with his gestures, movement and inflection in his voice when portraying a person with Autism. His acting was impeccable. When he spoke of his knowledge with the different varieties of eggs...he was "dead on.”


Tim Thomerson has always been a favorite of mine and he solidified that with me in this film. What a talented man. I have had a huge crush on John Saxon, going way back to when I was a little girl...He did not disappoint me!!!

I watched the movie with my 13-year-old daughter Erin. Erin was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old. She has since come so far and is on honor roll in regular Middle School in 8th grade. She is brilliant and I really wanted her insight into the movie.


Erin states the Autism community is often "misunderstood and under-represented.” I told you, she is brilliant. I asked Erin if she thought it would be possible for a person with autism to fall in love, as Noah did at the end of "God's Ears"... Erin said, "Why Not"??? Autism is such a complex disorder and they are each different and unique in their own way.

Temple Grandin once stated, "I often wonder...what would a totally normal brain be like.” "It might be really boring" Temple is right...Normal is so very over-rated.

My husband and myself have much work ahead of us! Not only do we have to prepare our children for society but, we have to prepare society for our children....


I truly hope "God's Ears" will help prepare society a little bit more, and I think it will. In this film, Noah shows us not only can a person with "differences" find love and acceptance, but the people who he is touched by are first touched by him.


Every person has a story, and every story needs to be told....But it is taking the time to listen that makes the difference! Those who took the time to listen to Noah, learned a lot.....!!!!

Jeanette

SYNOPSIS:

An autistic boxer and a nomadic stripper form a tenuous friendship that helps them both to better understand the world that appears to have left them both behind. Noah Connelly (Michael Worth) is an aspiring boxer from Oakland, California. Most of Noah's days are spent cleaning the floors at his local gym, patiently waiting for the perfect moment when he'll finally step into the ring and his future will come into focus. To the casual observer Noah leads an entirely unremarkable existence, though exotic dancer Alexia (Margot Farley) is far from the casual observer. One day, after crossing paths seemingly by chance, Noah and Alexia begin to affect the way Alexia views the opposite sex. To this point in her life, Alexia has taken a somewhat transient approach to relationships. Now, as her friendship with Noah begins to show signs of becoming something more serious, Alexis discovers that her approach to love may hint at a deeper pain that she isn't sure she possesses the power to confront. Encouraged by the owner of the gym (John Saxon) to introduce Alexia to his family, Noah invites her on a journey that will take her out of her comfort zone while challenging her entire perception of love. Perhaps if Alexia can find the courage to confront her deepest fears, Noah can summon the self-confidence to strap on the gloves and prove himself as a true pugilist. Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

Monday, August 23, 2010

There but for the grace of God, go I,,,,

I read a post last night on Age Of Autism...written by Kim S. about her beautiful daughter
being abused on her school bus by a person who thought it was okay to abuse a child with
autism.
This brought me back to when our oldest daughter, Caitlin, who started school 16 years ago.
I remember meeting the bus in my drive way and watching a woman yank my child out
of her car seat and scream at her to "get the hell out of the seat"....
I said to myself..."don't say a word...go inside and make the phone call"....over and over
again in my head. I mean...if this woman would do this in front of me...what was she
doing behind my back?
I went in the house and called the bus company and explained that if this person was on
the bus the next day...there would be trouble.
I then called the Principle of the school and stated that if this is what AISD hired for bus
attendants...we were going to have a problem.

Fast forward, 3 years later, my beautiful daughter came home from school with bruises
down her back. Come to find out...her teacher was abusing her.

We, as parent's have to trust the people we entrust our children to...unfortunately...these
people are not always Good People...they are evil.
A good person would not take advantage of someone who was unable to defend themselves...
someone who is adored at home and does not know that there are people out there that
could care less about them.

I hope my child(ren) do not think that I knew about this pain that would be put upon them...
I hope they know that I had NO idea that this was happening....after all... I put them on that
bus and in that classroom.

I know, at that time, my trust in the education system went out the window...
I just want to let Kim know....
We have had 5 more children go through the system...
our children have come in contact with many educators and bus drivers and attendants
who have adored and loved our children.....
Our faith has been restored...but, we are always leery of someone new who comes in
contact with our children....

I truly am sorry your daughter had to go through this....I am sorry you and your husband
had to feel the pain....
We really need to continue to fight for our children....and with us...it continues into
Adulthood...

When I go to bed each night, I thank God for my children....
I pray they are well protected and live long lives. I thank God for giving me the
precious gifts that he bestowed upon me....
I just wish every one saw our kids that way !!!!

Monday, July 05, 2010

INDEPENDENCE...

....is not just a day around this house.
Independence must be a way of life around here.

I am working full-time and loving my job. Who knew I could be a mom of 6 children and still
get to enjoy working in a career I am actually pretty good at?

I work with the most supportive persons and they strive to see each person succeed. So far,
2 promotions...and yes, I am working on a third.

My children are stepping up to the plate as well. They have been taught the basics of cooking, so far, so good !!!
They can scramble their own eggs at breakfast along with toast or a waffle, make their sandwiches and soup at lunch....
Now...dinner is up to me.
Even though I am a bit tired after work, cooking is my "valium"...along with the glass of wine
I drink while I prepare dinner.
I cook a meal every night...on Saturday and Sunday...I prepare several meals for the week for
eating during lunch or leftovers.

I am very proud of the way my family is allowing me the privilege to have a career after always
having me at home and available for them.

Today, after work, I took Caitlin to Walmart to get her Yu-Gi-Oh cards for the month. She picks out her cards, stands in check-out, and pays with her own money. She knows exactly how much change she is to get and tells the cashier. They are pretty nice about her telling them their job, but they realize pretty early on she has a disability.
I am so very proud of her. Caitlin has come so far.

Kiernan is in school until the 29th of July. He needs the structure school gives him. And, he
adores the teachers where he attends Summer School. He is loved there and they beam at every accomplishment he makes.
Kiernan loves the bus ride and the bus driver and attendant take very good care of him.

Independence is vital for our kids. I do not want them relying on others for their every day
needs. It is my job as their mother to prepare them for the future.
That must include keeping the house clean (I am working on that one), picking up their rooms (they are pretty good at this), doing laundry and being able to cook and feed themselves.
I have no doubt they will succeed....

As hard as it will be to eventually see them leave our home, I hope to have the satisfaction that Patrick and myself helped them be Independent....
Now, if they want to stick around a bit longer than what is expected...that is so very alright with me...
Maybe I am more dependent on my children than they are dependent on me!!!
Hmmm...that's a thought !!!

Thursday, July 01, 2010

PANTENE...




Okay..I have had very short hair for many, many years....


In 1985, I had hair down to my buttocks... My hair is so curly, that I French-braided it every day before I went to school and work.


Around 1985, Sheena Easton came out with an album. On her album, Sheena had a very cute short haircut....I wanted that haircut. I went to 3 different stylists and they each said to me, "it will be too drastic"... A friend of mine took me to her hair stylist who massacred my hair....so, the next day I went to work at The San Marcos Treatment Center... 2 co-workers of mine...Renee Bratton and Karla Sawyer said to me, "Oh, no way"...and proceeded to cut my hair the way I wanted...just like Sheena Easton...


Okay, long story not so short (no pun intended)... I have had short hair since 1985..until this year... I have let my hair grow out a bit (for personal reasons)..


So, with my naturally curly hair..I use Pantene for curly hair...I LOVE IT !!!


My 16-year-old daughter, Deirdre comes down with tears in her eyes tonight... I asked her what' up...she says," I saw a YouTube about a Pantene commercial and it made me sad".... "Would you watch it with me?"... Of course, absolutely... It is from Pantene... I knew I used this product for a reason... I totally understand why Deirdre loves this video..when you see it..you will understand Deirdre too....

I am so very proud to be the mother of this extraordinary young adult...she has a heart and feels emotions. This is a huge breakthrough for her....

Deirdre also plays the violin and must see herself through this young woman with a disability. But, in my eyes...Deirdre is not disabled but a fully functional child with empathy...

What Mom could want more from a child?

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

SUMMERTIME..and the Living is...

Well, maybe not so easy...but...

We are moving forward.

Caitlin graduated from high school and is taking the Summer off before starting a program through
Goodwill this Fall. She is continuing with her Recreation Therapist...the amazing Keara...and enjoying her time off.

Deirdre will start Driver's Education in a couple of weeks...believe it or not...this is much more an anxiety problem for me than it is for Deirdre. She will begin 11th grade next year and is considering many college choices...OH MY !!!

Erin is 13 years old...opinionated and WAYYYY too tall for her age. She is just shy of 5'11" and carries herself like a model. Now, I know she is smart...but, I do need to remind her that I have a bit more life experience than she has...

Meaghan is your very typical 12-year-old girl....MAKEUP, CLOTHES and the occasional BOY...
Yes, in that order Thank Goodness !!!

Patrick went to Germany with his Grandmother, as an exchange program with our elementary school...he is the 4th and last child of ours to go...
It was tough for him at first, but he managed...
He is one good little boy !!

Kiernan started Summer school last week and will continue until the end of July. They adore him, as usual. He is pure joy.
Now, don't get me wrong, he is very challenging, but hey, that is parenting...

Patrick got a promotion, as did I...
We still have big bills to pay and feeding these growing kids is not easy..but,
I would not change my life for anything.

Every now and then, I still sneak over to the old Autism forums and lo and behold...
there they are...
The same ol', same ol'...
ranting about the same ol', same ol'...

Sort of like the Soap Opera you watched in college...then, years later you turn them on to
see if it has changed...NOPE !!!
D is still ranting and raving and doing that Right-fighting thing she does so well as well as
forgetting that just because you remove a comment, does not mean we do not remember it...
Can you say lighter ???!!!
Someone who is NoOne is still...well, NOBODY !!!
Someone who says Autism is Reversible still has anger issues...OY!!!...
you get what I am saying..

The hypocrisy is still rampant. They put down a reporter for reporting on their precious Boyd Haley and his concoction for being a former "cupcake" reporter...yet,
they forget their own David Kirby was once reporting on the Gay beaches in Puerto Villarta!!!
What made Mr. Kirby suddenly become the poster child for investigative reporting?
Oh, that's right, he wrote what they wanted to hear!!!
Got it :)...

So, in this amazing house of mine...
without biomedically made up chemicals (can you say OSR ?), Chelation,
GFCF diets, B12 shots, or any of the other suggestive treatments from these
DAmN! Docs...
we are thriving..
we are making progress..
Isn't that all we want from our children???

We don't need to "recover" or "cure" what is not broken...
we need to nurture and love what we are blessed with...
the results are amazing!!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

THE GRADUATE....

I am extremely proud to announce that our oldest daughter, Caitlin, has officially graduated from High School....
Yep, this young woman, with a 3.6 GPA has graduated.

Am I a proud mama...???

YOU BETCHA !!!

This young lady has worked her butt off...she kept her cool in classes...she did her homework
( yes..by herself)...she earned her grades.

I sat amongst several thousand parent's, relatives and friends in a very large arena and thought to myself...
"will Caitlin freak out....???"
"will she be able to hold it together???"
"will she be able to cross the stage, shake several hands, get her picture taken, and then
walk off without a hitch???"

YOU BETCHA !!!

So, I proudly announce the graduating Senior...CAITLIN CAROLE O'DONNELL...Anderson High School Class of 2010.!!

Monday, May 17, 2010

CATCHING UP...

I have really neglected my blogging this past month....lots of stuff going on around here.
I have given up on the daily "Age of Anger" blog that I would read every morning to rile
me up....same old, same old...
I think pretty soon, their redundancy will play out and people will move on...
I mean, you can only sell so many books...right???

This past month, Deirdre turned 16 years old and took a trip with her choir class. She acclimates well to travel and all the anxieties that come with the travel; ie, restaurants they stop at, bedding issues, too many girls in the bathroom, etc.

Caitlin brought home her cap and gown today...yes, I welled up...I am so proud of her!!

I took a tour of the GO PROJECT !! that Caitlin will be attending until she is 22 years old.
My Mom went with me and it was amazing. The young adults were happy and enjoyed what they were doing. They were surrounded by people who love them and I am so happy Caitlin has been accepted into their program.

Yes, I realized after touring the program that my daughter is severely disabled...but, I could not be more proud of her.

You see...I do not look at my children's life as ending when they received the Autism diagnosis...
I look at this as a different avenue that we have to take.
Their autism really doesn't have anything to do with me...other than the fact that it has made me a better person...and most important...a better mother.!!

At the tender age of 49, I was hired by a company that I worked for in my early 20's. I was blessed that they decided to hire me again.
In the last 7 months, I have gotten 3 promotions.
I love my job. I love working full-time.
I am blessed to be able to make my own schedule.
I am blessed that my children have adapted to my routine and they have made me so very proud.
I am blessed that I have a husband who said, "Good for you, try it, and if it doesn't work out, quit".....

I am most glad that several years ago, I discovered many people who had the same thoughts I did about Autism....
I scoured blogs and websites hoping to find people who did not despair and cry about Autism, but instead...chose a different viewpoint. I have found some really cool people who have some of the same ideas and beliefs I do.
We do not always agree, but, we seem to keep it civil.

I could then release the anger that I was holding onto..
which, in turn, made my children so much happier !!

I have been the mother of children with autism for over 19 years. I have learned so much from my oldest child down to my youngest.
The rules of Autism have changed in the last 19 years also.
Due mostly to the fact that too many people have their hands in the pot...and some of them should not be in there at all.
My heart aches for the children whose parent's feel they must neglect their other children, or blame the Autistic child for them not spending enough time with their other children.
I do not grieve the loss of my children....they are standing right in front of me and I choose to bask in their glory....
I do not feel cheated or defeated...but,

I feel honored and blessed to be able to be in their presence and that God has chosen me to carry that honor of being their Mother !!!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

AUTISM AWARENESS.....

Are you aware of Autism?

Well, if you are not, don't you think it is about time you become aware of Autism?

We all know someone who has autism...or, someone who's child(ren) have autism. There are autistic kids in your family, school, neighborhood and city. You see them every day, whether you
notice them or not...they are around you.
People with autism have ALWAYS been around you...you probably just did not notice.

I babysat a child with autism when I was 11 years old. I am 49...you do the math!!!
I worked with autistic teenagers while going to college. That was from 1980 until 1985, when
I decided to follow another career path (again, you do the math)...

People who state there were no autistic adults 30 years ago led a very sheltered life. Just Google insane asylums and you will see photos of rooms filled with naked, heavily-medicated, poorly cared for adults. They were called "insane", "mentally retarded", "schizophrenic" and basically, thrown away from society so we did not have to see them. They were not offered an education and, well, let's just be honest...put away until their death.

I would imagine that a great majority of those patients would be considered autistic these days. I would imagine their parent's would not be advised to medicate them to where they are non-functional and completely lethargic. They would be offered an education and therapies. The parent's would have hope their children would not be doomed for a life of "hell"...

I know, I know....there are some parent's who still believe the diagnosis of autism is a definition for a life that is doomed....

Not this Momma....ain't gonna happen on my watch....

Five of our children carry the autism label...they are functioning in society and society has
so-far, opened up its arms wide and strong for my children.

Caitlin, 19, who is labeled severely autistic will graduate from high school in June. She has been accepted into a program that will train her and help her find her way after high school. I could not be any more proud of her than if she was accepted to an Ivy League college....she continues to amaze me.

Deirdre, 16 in May, who is labeled with Asperger's Syndrome , is already touring colleges. She has already seen colleges in Texas and Louisiana. She still struggles with her social cues, but her friends understand her and love her. Not bad for a Sophmore in High school.

Erin, 13, PDD-NOS, is on the student council, performs at UIL choir functions and was selected to perform at Cafe night. She has an amazing voice. She is tall and statuesque. She also has some social issues, but maintains a tight-knit group of friends. She has managed to keep her honor roll, straight A status since Elementary school.. Not too shabby for 7th grade.

Meaghan, 12, NT, is becoming quite the social butterfly. I just wish her interest in make-up would be replaced by a bigger interest in her math grade...
She is witty and like it or not...a lot like her mother.

Little Patrick, 10, PDD-NOS, has just been selected for the Safety Patrol Squad at school. Quite an honor to be selected, by the way. He is in his 2nd season of Little League and he loves his baseball. He still obsesses about the weather, and worries about his Uncle Wayne in Oklahoma (tornadoes, ya know?)...I am hoping he channels this into a future as a meteorologist. He has a great group of little boys he calls friends with amazing parent's who love him.

and Kiernan...9, with severe autism is pure energy and motion. Still non-verbal, but don't give up on him yet. He is loud when he wants to be heard. Yes, he is in dire need of a haircut (kinda looks like David Cassidy in the 1970's), but...his classmates and friends love his hair..He has also maintained straight A's...smart as a whip this one!!!

My family has an amazing support group around us. I know I could call any one of them to be here when I need them...And they have never disappointed us !!!
They love our kids and our kids love them back...

So, back to my original question...
Are You Aware of Autism???

Well...you are NOW!!!!

Monday, March 22, 2010

PERMANENTLY DISABLED...

I took my son Kiernan, 9 as of Saturday....to his biannual Pediatric Neurologist appointment.
Kiernan was in a great mood and even though we had to park very far away...he followed
every direction given to him
When the doctor saw him he said..."Oh, my...he is in such a good mood, let's go ahead and
take his blood pressure"..
You see..usually, Kiernan does not like that little bit of pressure put on his arm.

Prior to going to our appointment, I had printed out an application for a disability placard and
license plates for Kiernan. He is so happy when we go shopping that sometimes he jolts out
into the traffic...I thought it would not hurt to ask so we could park closer for him...

The application stated "Permanent Disability" or "Temporary Disability"....

After reading the document...our doctor stated "this would be a Permanent Disability...
Autism is permanent..."

Of course...I had to open my big mouth...
I said,"According to Jenny McCarthy...Autism can be diagnosed , taken away, and then
re-diagnosed...depending on the "toxic overload (dontcha know ?)"..!!!

The great doctor said...."You know...she is not a scientist nor a physician, don't you?"
"The only reason they even print her is to sell the magazine"...!!

Did I tell you he was "BRILLIANT" ?

My children have a Permanent Disability....it is not a come and go diagnosis.
Any doctor that would actually diagnose Jenny McCarthy's son with Autism , un-diagnose him,
then re-diagnose him again (I guess depending on what book or television show she is selling) is not really a very reputable doctor after all, are they? I have my guess about what kind of DAmN doctor they are..., but there is no way in heck that a reputable doctor would diagnose a child with autism and then remove the label and then put the label back when it deemed necessary.

I accept my children's disabilities...
I know they have a long road ahead of them...
I will help them down every path that lies ahead for them...

In the Neurologist's office, while Kiernan and I waited, was a little girl. She was so tiny...maybe
18 months to 2 years old. She had a facial deformity and every one was staring at her.
She walked up to Kiernan, who was rocking in his chair....this little Angel touched his leg (she was aptly named Sunshine...you cannot make that up!!)...
Kiernan touched her face...
I said," Hey pretty girl...this is Kiernan"..
Her mother said, "thank you"....

Our children's disabilities may be permanent....

But, temporarily today, I saw two children who could care less that either one was permanently disabled in any way, shape, or form......

Sunday, March 21, 2010

LAZY DAYS ???

















Bonnie Skala Kiladitis http://survivingmotherhood-mom26children.blogspot.com/ Blogger mom whose 5 (of 6) kids have ASD. I've never read about someone so anti-biomedical. She's certainly earned her right to speak but she's quite negative towards DAN! (P.S. Certainly does not surprise me that it's an AOL article - they get $$$ from Pharma ads.)
March 14 at 4:46pm · View Feedback (2)Hide Feedback (2) · Report

Kim Rossi Stagliano
She appeared on Extreme Home Makeover - many of us (who found the GFCF diet ameliorated behaviors) commented on the grilled cheese sandwiches she was making as she spoke of her child who liked to break things. I wish them well - it's not easy to have more than one on the spectrum that's for sure. I have three. She has 5! Wow.
March 15 at 2:40pm ·
Report

Marco Loretto
Good for her. Let her continue in her misery. Fact is she is like many who are too lazy to do what it takes.Only fanatics get to recover their kids.
Fri at 9:50pm ·
Report
I just found this on the Generation Rescue Facebook site.....
I must comment...
First off...
Bonnie...Kim was also featured on the AOL Health site...did you miss that one?
Is she paid off by Big Pharm too???
Or is it because she is on your side...it does not matter that Big Pharma paid for
some ads on AOL ?
Second...
Kim...My son liked to hear glass break...He does not do that any more.
Is he cured?
Don't think so. But he has alleviated that behavior. He still loves his cheese, but
now prefers it on a tortilla now.
Third...
Marco...
Do you know me?
How the heck can you call me lazy?
I wake up every day at 6 am.
I put my first child on the bus at 6:3o am.
I walk my second child to school at 7:30 am after I feed the 3 middle children.
My oldest gets on the bus at 8:30 am and then I am at work by 9:00am.
I work until 5:00 pm when I start dinner.
By 10:00 pm I am able to finish the dishes (no dishwasher thank you) and get
to take my bath.
I am very lucky to get to bed by midnight.
I am not complaining, by the way...just stating the fact that I am not LAZY....
My husband and I work our butts off to get our kids to school, school activities,
sports, therapies and other appointments.
They are amazing kids....
Sorry you did not get that from the interview...if in fact you actually read it...
Oh, and I am not miserable...btw !!!
Okay, I have let off my steam..
I did not name call...I just stated what the facts are...
I really don't care if any of these people see this...
This rant was for me....
Man...I feel so much better now....
Off to bed.
Back to school tomorrow..after Spring Break...6 am comes mighty early !!!

Friday, March 19, 2010

THE IDIOCRACY OF JENNY MCCARTHY


Jenny McCarthy has an interview with Hollywood Life while attending Chelsea Handler's book
signing....
Ms. McCarthy states that her son has been "undiagnosed" with Autism...yet, and this is a HUGE
yet...he might get Autism back because Autism is toxic overload and you never know if he will be overloaded again...
Kind of hilarious coming from a woman who touts botox injections....(talk about hypocrisy)...!!!

Here is the excerpt:

Jenny McCarthy couldn’t be happier with her son’s marked improvement. Although recent reports suggested that her 7-year-old son, Evan, was wrongly diagnosed with autism in 2005, Jenny insists to us exclusively that her son DID have the disorder, but has since been cured thanks to advances in treatment.

“My son is completely better…You wouldn’t be able to tell!” Jenny, 37, raved to us at her friend Chelsea Handler’s Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang, Bang book launch party at the Beverly Hilton March 17. “I think autism is toxic overload … it might come back. But for now, he’s undiagnosed.”

Watch the video to hear Jenny discuss some side effects Evan is still experiencing, including ADD-like symptoms, as well as where she sees her son’s diagnosis in the future.

Now see...this is the type of statements made by Jenny and her crew that really gets my
blood boiling.

Autism is a diagnosis that has been so misused by people who are so desperate for a "cure"
that they actually think you can remove the label....

In the interview..Jenny states he is a bit ADD, but that is it....
Hey Jenny....!!!
ADD is a behavior with Autistic children...

And, if this is true, why is this young boy still being taught in a school for Autistic
children?

And Jenny....Autism does not come and go...that is just pure crap...

I just wish you would mind what you say before you open your uneducated, misinformed,
brain-washing mouth.
Parent's like myself, who are out there fighting every day for services for our children are
getting a bit ticked off because you make Autism seem so nonchalant....
Easy come...easy go !!!!

For all the parents out there that think Autism is "toxic overload" or "mercury poisoning"...
do me a favor...
Remove the autism diagnosis from your child now.....
that way more services will open up for our children who respond to the proven therapies
that work.
Autism is not a diagnosis to play with. We worked hard to try to get the diagnosis for our oldest daughter over 18 years ago. It was not an easy diagnosis to get from even a neurologist. But, the diagnosis meant the door opened wide for better services and more of them.
18 years later, I have to beg for these services. I have to sit and watch as my daughter's therapies were cut in half due to lack of funds.

If you watch the interview with Jenny...you see that she states Evan speaks, has eye contact and makes new friends....
WOW!!!
So do my autistic kids....
My kids relish hugs and kisses...they love to grab my face and look at me and others.
They love to maintain contact with us and those around them.
All but Kiernan are verbal...and believe me, we know what he wants when he wants it...

Don't get me wrong...I am thrilled Evan speaks and maintains eye contact....that is wonderful.
But, please...and I mean PLEASE....
Don't use the Autism label as a label that can be put on a child and taken off just because their
"toxins" are overloaded....
that is doing harm to parent's who are really trying hard to maintain services without disrupting our children's lives.
Autism is not like a bandage...you don't put the label on when it is deemed necessary and remove it when they are "better".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME ???

Thursday, March 18, 2010

YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS...and FAMILY...

Almost 6 months ago, I began a new chapter in my life....I started working full-time
after being a stay-at-home mom for over 10 years.
Yeah, I had some part-time writing gigs with some internet companies, but to be
fully employed with benefits was a huge step for me and my family.

First off, I had to find someone I could count on to help me care for my amazing kids while
I was in training and while I am upstairs at work....Enter Helen Hutka....
She came in and filled in...
From day one...when I had to go in-office to work for training...I did not worry one little bit
about my kids.

Second, I had to adjust my daily cooking schedule. Now, I spend most of my days off
making the meals for the week. It works out well. Not really a big deal after all.

Third, I had to learn to use my time more wisely. I am still working really hard on this.
It is getting better...but, I have more to learn on this subject.

So, after 6 months and one promotion...yep, I got promoted in February...it seems that this
is the career for me for many years to come.
I am so happy to have a career at the tender age of 49.
Gone are my days of obsessing over the internet and who is writing what about who on
the Autism web sites. Gone are my days of the petty bickering on the autism forums...
and frankly, I do not miss it one bit.

I work from home, so I get to see my kids during my afternoon break. I get to ask how their
days were and what is for homework....
I get smiles and hugs...
Who could ask for more than that during a work day?

Most of all....
My family has stepped up to the plate to allow their middle-aged wife and mom to fulfill
her dream to actually work a corporate job and be really good at it. They don't question my
hours (which I get to set, btw) and know when my door is shut...it stays shut.
They take care of each other very well....I am so very proud of how they have matured in
the last few months. I hope we had taught them well....and I guess this proves it.

This last Sunday, my interview with AOL Health was posted on the front page of AOL. I had
many people complement me. I had a couple of nasty remarks on my blog, but just a couple.
What surprised me the most was a couple of family members who emailed me and questioned
my motives along with a couple of friends who decided that they did not like that I got some
attention....that is okay....
I had a friend remind me that true friends celebrate our highs and help us through our lows...thanks Kim ;)

In the long run...it is my friends and family who stand by us when we are at our highs and our
lows...who realize the amount of work it takes for our family to be the amazing family we are.
We could not have done it without the family members and friends who have become our family who stood by us for many years. It is you guys who make us complete....

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY....

I was not born Irish, not by any means...but, I did marry into a 100% Irish family.
So, the traditional Irish fare is in order for tonight.
I worked a full day, out of the house today...ran to Randall's (our grocery store), bought
some Irish cheese, Guinness Stout beer, cabbage, potatoes and yes...the corned beef (which
is now filling my kitchen with the aroma of St. Paddy's Day).

You see...I have to St. Patrick's in this house...and they love their day.

So, as they are out practicing with Little Pat's baseball team..I am making sure they will
have their "Saintly" dinner.

My only dilemma...do I really want to make the Irish Soda Bread??

Do I really have a choice ??

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY....

because after all...today we are all a bit Irish, aren't we???