I am so thrilled it is THANKSGIVING this week. I love Thanksgiving. I love having a houseful of people coming in and out all day. I love the smell of fresh sage and turkey roasting in the oven. I love the smell of pumpkin pie.
Our friends, family and neighbors come to our house with their families. Last year, we had 35 people here. It was the most amazing day. We spent time talking about old times, new times, our children, our families....we spent time getting to know all the new friends while intertwining our lives with the old friends.
We have so much to be thankful for this year. We have been blessed in so many ways:
Our children are healthier than they have ever been. They have all astounded us with wonderful grades and amazing behaviors in school.
They have all made new and really sweet friends. They have become more independent and responsible. Thank you God for that.
My husband has remained our biggest fan. He values each of his children and I must say I am so thankful to have found him to marry and be the father of our children.
My friends...old and new...who treat our family as one of theirs. Who value my children for all they are. For letting me vent when I have had a bad day...yes I get them...and letting me tell them joyous things that are happening to us.
See, Thanksgiving is, to me...the best holiday.
No gifts to give, but that of love and food.
Thanksgiving allows me to say a prayer of thanks:
Here it goes...
Thank you Lord for all that you have given us this year. Thank you Lord for the people in my life. Thank you for the patience you have given me when little things get out of control..Thank you for allowing me to see my children for what they are, not what I want them to be. Thank you for bringing wonderful people into our life and continue to do so....
Thank you for allowing me to mother the 6 most amazing children in the world. Thank you for bringing my husband into my life. I do not think I would be the mother I am without him. Thank you for my friends...they get my humor and appreciate it.
I wish everyone out their a Safe and Happy Thanksgiving.
I hope you too take the time to Give THANKS.....
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
If It Is Mercury Poisoning...Then Why Call It AUTISM????
This is the question I wanted answered on the AW Forum. But, instead of anybody answering me, they all busted a gut and gave some sarcastic comments.
My question to parent's who believe their children can be recovered or defeated or cured from Autism is this....Did they have Autism to begin with? If mercury poisoning is real, then the numbers of autism would decrease and make more sense.
There are parent's who truly believe their children were poisoned by the mercury in the vaccinations they received. To me, that child would not have true autism, but autistic tendencies due to mercury poisoning....totally different diagnosis.
I have met parent's who label their children with autism and an array of other disorders....OCD, ADHD, ADD, Bi-polar....
With autism comes many facets. 3 of our children are very OCD, but they are not OCD, they are AUTISTIC. 1 of our sons is extrememly hyperactive, but he does not have ADHD, he is AUTISTIC. These are some of the tendencies that come with the label of Autism.
So if any parent out there wants to remove the sarcasm and debate this with me, I would love it. If not, then I assume you have no answers for me.
It is not really that difficult to get an autism diagnosis these days. Alot of children fit into the spectrum, because they have made the spectrum so broad. If doctors would just get back to the basics of autism, the spectrum would close.
But, as you and I know, there is way too much money to be made from parent's of austistic children wanting to Defeat, Cure or Recover them. How else can they justify having a grocery cart icon on their websites?
My question to parent's who believe their children can be recovered or defeated or cured from Autism is this....Did they have Autism to begin with? If mercury poisoning is real, then the numbers of autism would decrease and make more sense.
There are parent's who truly believe their children were poisoned by the mercury in the vaccinations they received. To me, that child would not have true autism, but autistic tendencies due to mercury poisoning....totally different diagnosis.
I have met parent's who label their children with autism and an array of other disorders....OCD, ADHD, ADD, Bi-polar....
With autism comes many facets. 3 of our children are very OCD, but they are not OCD, they are AUTISTIC. 1 of our sons is extrememly hyperactive, but he does not have ADHD, he is AUTISTIC. These are some of the tendencies that come with the label of Autism.
So if any parent out there wants to remove the sarcasm and debate this with me, I would love it. If not, then I assume you have no answers for me.
It is not really that difficult to get an autism diagnosis these days. Alot of children fit into the spectrum, because they have made the spectrum so broad. If doctors would just get back to the basics of autism, the spectrum would close.
But, as you and I know, there is way too much money to be made from parent's of austistic children wanting to Defeat, Cure or Recover them. How else can they justify having a grocery cart icon on their websites?
Monday, November 06, 2006
Thank God For Caitlin...
I thank God Caitlin was diagnosed with autism 13 years ago. There was not all the hype there is now. We did not have the array of "cures" that parent's now have to deal with.
When Caitlin was diagnosed in August of 1993, all that was around was the Autism Research Institute with Dr. Rimland. We were instructed to give her B6 and Magnesium and DMG. We tried this, because we were told she would speak soon after beginning these supplements.
6 months into it, no words, no behavior changes. We implemented the GFCF diet. Caitlin was miserable. She stopped drinking for fear we added something to her drink. We got her cues and stopped all the addidtives.
Caitlin always did well at school. She had her issues with aggression and doing things her way, but she always had good marks. She has never not wanted to go to school.
Through Caitlin we learned how to get her interests met at her ARD's. We learned how to manage her IEP's through our school district. We learned how to work well with these educator's. We respected them as much as they respected us and Caitlin.
Caitlin has taught us that autism is not sad. She is a happy 15 year old who loves school and football games. She is a very good student who does her homework and gets to classes and therapy on time. She is never late.
She does not obsess over boys and clothes. She does not care about hair, except she likes it long and in a ponytail. She does not gossip or treat anyone in a negative manner. She is a model student and daughter.
Because of Caitlin, all the other children in our home were treated with the same respect. We were prepared for what autism would mean with them. They have their own personalities. They are all well-adjusted and happy kids. I give all the credit to Caitlin for helping us in helping all the children that followed her in our house.
When Caitlin was diagnosed in August of 1993, all that was around was the Autism Research Institute with Dr. Rimland. We were instructed to give her B6 and Magnesium and DMG. We tried this, because we were told she would speak soon after beginning these supplements.
6 months into it, no words, no behavior changes. We implemented the GFCF diet. Caitlin was miserable. She stopped drinking for fear we added something to her drink. We got her cues and stopped all the addidtives.
Caitlin always did well at school. She had her issues with aggression and doing things her way, but she always had good marks. She has never not wanted to go to school.
Through Caitlin we learned how to get her interests met at her ARD's. We learned how to manage her IEP's through our school district. We learned how to work well with these educator's. We respected them as much as they respected us and Caitlin.
Caitlin has taught us that autism is not sad. She is a happy 15 year old who loves school and football games. She is a very good student who does her homework and gets to classes and therapy on time. She is never late.
She does not obsess over boys and clothes. She does not care about hair, except she likes it long and in a ponytail. She does not gossip or treat anyone in a negative manner. She is a model student and daughter.
Because of Caitlin, all the other children in our home were treated with the same respect. We were prepared for what autism would mean with them. They have their own personalities. They are all well-adjusted and happy kids. I give all the credit to Caitlin for helping us in helping all the children that followed her in our house.
Friday, November 03, 2006
A Girlfriend's Guide To Autism:
This is the guide I would write if a good friend had a child who got the diagnosis of autism and she asked me my opinion....
1. The first thing I would say is...I will answer your questions, but you might not like what I am going to say.
2. Sit back and take a deep breath.
3. Do not look differently at your child. You have the same child you gave birth to, but now you have a reason for why they are like they are.
4. Take a little time to get angry, sad, mad, bitter, whatever....just don't dwell too much on the negative.
5. You can tell people if you want, that is totally up to you.
6. If your child is under the age of 3, call your local March of Dimes or Any Baby Can and request an evaluation. These people came to our home with 5 different children. They work with your child with Speech, ABA, OT, PT. They are the first steps in helping your autistic child.
7. If your child is over 3, contact your local school district to get an evaluation and to set up an education plan for your child. This is where my children have thrived. I am so grateful for our school district.
8. Read anything and everything you can about autism. You must decide what will work for your home and your family. Do not listen to everyone at one time. Look at all of your options. This may take a while...that is okay. You won't do anything you will regret later that way.
9. You may lose some friends and family members. They don't mean to be distant, they just don't know how to behave around you anymore. You don't need any Pity anyways.
10. Especially, do not pity yourself. That is the last thing your child needs.
11. Do not change your routines at home or out in public. Routine is very important for an autistic child. They rely on routine. It keeps them feeling safe and secure. If you have a change in routine, let your autistic child know in advance. I have learned that saves alot of anxiety come the day of change.
12. Keep your doctor and neurologist (or specialist) aware of any treatments you are undergoing that they do not prescribe.
13. If you are married or have a signifigant other, keep a date night or a date afternoon....it really helps with the stresses involved.
14. Do not keep your significant other out of any of the plans or procedures you arrange for your child. This will cause big problems later...believe me.
15. Most important, make sure your children know you love them. Make sure they feel safe and secure every day and every night. Let them know they can trust you and all that you say. Autistic children need to know they are secure and mine love the extra hard squeezes we give with our hugs.
You see, I do not see the big deal with having an autstic child or autistic children. After the initial shock of having Caitlin being diagnosed, all the other diagnosis just fell into place.
We would not love our children any more if they did not have the label of autism.
I do not see the need for all the drama that comes with the diagnosis. I don't see why parent's are feuding because one does biomedical and one doesn't. I do not see why some mother's are so damn mean about it.
I have had the pleasure of dealing with 3 mothers on the AW Forum board who are downright nasty. I would hate to be the child on the other side of that anger.
If these mother's do not think that their negative attitudes about autism do not reflect in how they deal with their children, they are sadly mistaken.
You can look at the pictures of one of these children and see they are not happy with the procedures done to them. How sad to have to cover you own butt at night...afraid your own mother is going to give you a suppository or a shot....
I know, I know.....you are a better mother because you are trying to make your child better....okay, if you buy that......
I am so glad to be married to the man I am married to. He adores his children and loves them more than life. He works so hard for our family and these kids show him how much they love him. He is our hero.....
He has never expected them to be any less than they are...and that is pretty damn good.
I am so happy to have the friends I have... the one's that except my children as they are. And love them no matter what. The friends that know these children are all they can be and will grow to be so much more.
I am thrilled to have met people on the internet that accept their autistic children as much as we do. Women that I have met that I love like a sister...you know who you are. Who know when I am serious and when I am kidding...thank you for that.
I hope you know that I admire you far more than you do me.
Autism is not a death sentence....it is a chance for a parent to look back and reevaluate what you wanted from your child's life. You must take the time to change every expectation you had of your child and just let what ever will happen, happen....
One of my very close friend's called me the other night to ask me about detention. I told her I have never had a child in detention. She did not understand....I told her that my children were not like her child. That detention would devastate them...they could never be bad at school.
I told her that when parent's look at autism as a bad thing, I do not....
I look at it as:
Yeah Autism:
1. Bus delivery at the door.
2. No boy crazy teens
3. Good grades.
4. No wanting name-brand labels on clothing.
5. No teen-age angst.....
YEAH AUTISM....
1. The first thing I would say is...I will answer your questions, but you might not like what I am going to say.
2. Sit back and take a deep breath.
3. Do not look differently at your child. You have the same child you gave birth to, but now you have a reason for why they are like they are.
4. Take a little time to get angry, sad, mad, bitter, whatever....just don't dwell too much on the negative.
5. You can tell people if you want, that is totally up to you.
6. If your child is under the age of 3, call your local March of Dimes or Any Baby Can and request an evaluation. These people came to our home with 5 different children. They work with your child with Speech, ABA, OT, PT. They are the first steps in helping your autistic child.
7. If your child is over 3, contact your local school district to get an evaluation and to set up an education plan for your child. This is where my children have thrived. I am so grateful for our school district.
8. Read anything and everything you can about autism. You must decide what will work for your home and your family. Do not listen to everyone at one time. Look at all of your options. This may take a while...that is okay. You won't do anything you will regret later that way.
9. You may lose some friends and family members. They don't mean to be distant, they just don't know how to behave around you anymore. You don't need any Pity anyways.
10. Especially, do not pity yourself. That is the last thing your child needs.
11. Do not change your routines at home or out in public. Routine is very important for an autistic child. They rely on routine. It keeps them feeling safe and secure. If you have a change in routine, let your autistic child know in advance. I have learned that saves alot of anxiety come the day of change.
12. Keep your doctor and neurologist (or specialist) aware of any treatments you are undergoing that they do not prescribe.
13. If you are married or have a signifigant other, keep a date night or a date afternoon....it really helps with the stresses involved.
14. Do not keep your significant other out of any of the plans or procedures you arrange for your child. This will cause big problems later...believe me.
15. Most important, make sure your children know you love them. Make sure they feel safe and secure every day and every night. Let them know they can trust you and all that you say. Autistic children need to know they are secure and mine love the extra hard squeezes we give with our hugs.
You see, I do not see the big deal with having an autstic child or autistic children. After the initial shock of having Caitlin being diagnosed, all the other diagnosis just fell into place.
We would not love our children any more if they did not have the label of autism.
I do not see the need for all the drama that comes with the diagnosis. I don't see why parent's are feuding because one does biomedical and one doesn't. I do not see why some mother's are so damn mean about it.
I have had the pleasure of dealing with 3 mothers on the AW Forum board who are downright nasty. I would hate to be the child on the other side of that anger.
If these mother's do not think that their negative attitudes about autism do not reflect in how they deal with their children, they are sadly mistaken.
You can look at the pictures of one of these children and see they are not happy with the procedures done to them. How sad to have to cover you own butt at night...afraid your own mother is going to give you a suppository or a shot....
I know, I know.....you are a better mother because you are trying to make your child better....okay, if you buy that......
I am so glad to be married to the man I am married to. He adores his children and loves them more than life. He works so hard for our family and these kids show him how much they love him. He is our hero.....
He has never expected them to be any less than they are...and that is pretty damn good.
I am so happy to have the friends I have... the one's that except my children as they are. And love them no matter what. The friends that know these children are all they can be and will grow to be so much more.
I am thrilled to have met people on the internet that accept their autistic children as much as we do. Women that I have met that I love like a sister...you know who you are. Who know when I am serious and when I am kidding...thank you for that.
I hope you know that I admire you far more than you do me.
Autism is not a death sentence....it is a chance for a parent to look back and reevaluate what you wanted from your child's life. You must take the time to change every expectation you had of your child and just let what ever will happen, happen....
One of my very close friend's called me the other night to ask me about detention. I told her I have never had a child in detention. She did not understand....I told her that my children were not like her child. That detention would devastate them...they could never be bad at school.
I told her that when parent's look at autism as a bad thing, I do not....
I look at it as:
Yeah Autism:
1. Bus delivery at the door.
2. No boy crazy teens
3. Good grades.
4. No wanting name-brand labels on clothing.
5. No teen-age angst.....
YEAH AUTISM....
Just A Routine Morning...
Every morning, Kiernan is the first to rise around 6 am. I am quick to follow. We come downstairs and he goes immediately to the computer and I start the pot of coffee. I make breakfast for the family and then pack lunches, for those who take their lunches.
We eat, get dressed for school. Deirdre leaves for the bus and Patrick and I drive the others to the school down the street.
This morning, as I was getting Kiernan to the car, a little boy yells out,"Hi, Kiernan"...Kiernan gets very happy and does his rocking and flapping and buzzing. The little boy tells his father, "Kiernan's funny"....
Kiernan is funny. He is inclusioned in this little boy's class room with an amazing Kindergarten teacher. Mrs. Tina Mello has taught 4 out of 6 of my kids Kindergarten. She does not hesitate to take a non-verbal child into her classroom. She teaches the other children that being "different" can be an asset...not a deterrent.
As we arrive at school, Kiernan decides to walk backwards down the hallway. I decide to join him. As we go down the hall, a little girl runs up to Kiernan and gives him a huge hug. She said, "Good Morning, Kiernan"....again the happy Kiernan dance.
We get to Kiernan's PPCD classroom. He enters and Mrs. Kelli Dominguez is waiting for him. She really adores him, and you can see it in her eyes. That feels good.... Mrs. Kelli came to Kiernan at a time when he really needed someone like her. God sends us Angels all the time. It is up to us to realize it. I hope she knows I realize that.
Kiernan sits down and starts his ABCs...yes, he knows them. He may not say them, but believe me, he knows them. This little boy can read and type anything he wants on the computer. Do not ever sell this child short, because he is non-verbal..
I leave Kiernan with a kiss and go check on Meaghan. She is fine and settled in her classroom. Her teacher, Mrs. Nancy Kuhlman has taught 4 of my children. From Caitlin in her worst days to Meaghan now. She has had every spectrum of our autistic family in her classroom. She has loved all of them. What an exceptional teacher...I don't know what we would do without her.
Next is little Patrick. By the time I get to his class, he is sitting down doing his morning work...diligently as usual. I talk to his wonderful teacher, Emily Carden...I explain that he is in blue jeans and sometimes he needs help zipping. He has some OT issues still. She assured me she would help him....and I know she will. She is so pretty. But, better yet, she is beautiful inside too.
Last stop is Erin. She is in the 4th grade commons and that is in a separate building. I peek my head in her classroom and tell her I love her. Her teacher is Mrs. Kristine Armantrout. She sees so much in Erin. That is important. Erin is the child that will work on something until she masters it. Mrs. Armantrout sees that in Erin. Erin does all of her own work. She is so smart and to top it off, she is the sweetest soul I have ever known. Mrs. Armantrout picked that up the first day she had her. That makes her special to me.
I then walk home. That gives me time to get my thoughts and plans for my day. I also have time to thank God for giving me all of my children. I do not know how I would be happy with even one of them not in my life. I thank God for letting us get as far as we have.
Caitlin is home waiting on the bus. I make sure she gets the bus. She waits outside. Sometimes patiently, sometimes she looks in the window for the time. She hates when the bus is late.
Caitlin was a very aggressive and hyperactive child from Early Childhood to about the 4th grade. When she was in the 2nd grade, she had Mrs. Mary Hutka. Mary taught Caitlin alot of social skills and how one is to behave in the classroom. Mary did not let Caitlin get away with ANYTHING. I believe Caitlin taught Mary what Autism really was. They both learned so much from each other. At the end of the school year with Caitlin, I sent Mary Hutka a gift of wine (to her home of course)...I figured after that year, she deserved it.
You see, Autism does not play a role in our morning routine. Our children function and have responsibilities like any other child.
They each have their chores and know what they are. They are great kids. I owe that to the school teachers and the many therapists in their lives. The people who saw so much potential in our children and who never let them fail at anything. The ones who told me with my first child....untie the apron strings Jeanette, let Caitlin go....let her show you what she is capable of. I am so glad I listened. Because Caitlin taught my husband and myself how to parent an autistic child, she has set the path for our other children. We know to expect no less from the others. And so far, they keep amazing us....
We eat, get dressed for school. Deirdre leaves for the bus and Patrick and I drive the others to the school down the street.
This morning, as I was getting Kiernan to the car, a little boy yells out,"Hi, Kiernan"...Kiernan gets very happy and does his rocking and flapping and buzzing. The little boy tells his father, "Kiernan's funny"....
Kiernan is funny. He is inclusioned in this little boy's class room with an amazing Kindergarten teacher. Mrs. Tina Mello has taught 4 out of 6 of my kids Kindergarten. She does not hesitate to take a non-verbal child into her classroom. She teaches the other children that being "different" can be an asset...not a deterrent.
As we arrive at school, Kiernan decides to walk backwards down the hallway. I decide to join him. As we go down the hall, a little girl runs up to Kiernan and gives him a huge hug. She said, "Good Morning, Kiernan"....again the happy Kiernan dance.
We get to Kiernan's PPCD classroom. He enters and Mrs. Kelli Dominguez is waiting for him. She really adores him, and you can see it in her eyes. That feels good.... Mrs. Kelli came to Kiernan at a time when he really needed someone like her. God sends us Angels all the time. It is up to us to realize it. I hope she knows I realize that.
Kiernan sits down and starts his ABCs...yes, he knows them. He may not say them, but believe me, he knows them. This little boy can read and type anything he wants on the computer. Do not ever sell this child short, because he is non-verbal..
I leave Kiernan with a kiss and go check on Meaghan. She is fine and settled in her classroom. Her teacher, Mrs. Nancy Kuhlman has taught 4 of my children. From Caitlin in her worst days to Meaghan now. She has had every spectrum of our autistic family in her classroom. She has loved all of them. What an exceptional teacher...I don't know what we would do without her.
Next is little Patrick. By the time I get to his class, he is sitting down doing his morning work...diligently as usual. I talk to his wonderful teacher, Emily Carden...I explain that he is in blue jeans and sometimes he needs help zipping. He has some OT issues still. She assured me she would help him....and I know she will. She is so pretty. But, better yet, she is beautiful inside too.
Last stop is Erin. She is in the 4th grade commons and that is in a separate building. I peek my head in her classroom and tell her I love her. Her teacher is Mrs. Kristine Armantrout. She sees so much in Erin. That is important. Erin is the child that will work on something until she masters it. Mrs. Armantrout sees that in Erin. Erin does all of her own work. She is so smart and to top it off, she is the sweetest soul I have ever known. Mrs. Armantrout picked that up the first day she had her. That makes her special to me.
I then walk home. That gives me time to get my thoughts and plans for my day. I also have time to thank God for giving me all of my children. I do not know how I would be happy with even one of them not in my life. I thank God for letting us get as far as we have.
Caitlin is home waiting on the bus. I make sure she gets the bus. She waits outside. Sometimes patiently, sometimes she looks in the window for the time. She hates when the bus is late.
Caitlin was a very aggressive and hyperactive child from Early Childhood to about the 4th grade. When she was in the 2nd grade, she had Mrs. Mary Hutka. Mary taught Caitlin alot of social skills and how one is to behave in the classroom. Mary did not let Caitlin get away with ANYTHING. I believe Caitlin taught Mary what Autism really was. They both learned so much from each other. At the end of the school year with Caitlin, I sent Mary Hutka a gift of wine (to her home of course)...I figured after that year, she deserved it.
You see, Autism does not play a role in our morning routine. Our children function and have responsibilities like any other child.
They each have their chores and know what they are. They are great kids. I owe that to the school teachers and the many therapists in their lives. The people who saw so much potential in our children and who never let them fail at anything. The ones who told me with my first child....untie the apron strings Jeanette, let Caitlin go....let her show you what she is capable of. I am so glad I listened. Because Caitlin taught my husband and myself how to parent an autistic child, she has set the path for our other children. We know to expect no less from the others. And so far, they keep amazing us....
Thursday, November 02, 2006
POP POP....
Yes, Pop Pop, that is the first word my non-verbal little Kiernan will have said....the most beautiful two words I have ever heard.
I said, Pop Pop????? Kiernan repeated "Pop pop....".
He then lead me to the pantry.
I unlocked the door and he reached in for Popcorn....of course!!!
I couldn't be more pleased if he had recited the Declaration of Independence....
He may never say it again, he may say it forever....I do not care...
For today I got POP POP.....
I said, Pop Pop????? Kiernan repeated "Pop pop....".
He then lead me to the pantry.
I unlocked the door and he reached in for Popcorn....of course!!!
I couldn't be more pleased if he had recited the Declaration of Independence....
He may never say it again, he may say it forever....I do not care...
For today I got POP POP.....
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Shame Shame Is Your Name......
I went on the AW forum message board today, I was checking messages on a couple of comments that were made by a member who feels that parent's who do not do the biomedical approach for their autistic children are compared to enablers of alcoholics. I know, it makes no sense to me either.
Anyway, another one of her little cohorts decided on another topic to take the opportunity to berate and belittle a fellow blogger of ours and her son. I left my own comment, but that was deleted, along with the hers, because it had nothing to do with B12 shots, not to mention it was downright distasteful.
I need to write how I feel, because I cannot imagine hating someone so much that you would make a rude comment about their autistic child. Really, how low can someone go?
You can disagree with me, you can call me a BITCH, I do not care. But I will draw the line at any remarks to my children or friends of my children. I will draw the line when someone says I abuse or neglect my children or if someone comments about my friend in such a way.
Just because there are a select few on this AW forum that are bitter and mad at what life has given them, be it their husband's, parent's, friend's, family or children. I find it appalling and downright childish.
Now whatever these people comment on or write will be totally disregarded by me....I will hope they will find happiness in their shallow, little world's that they can stop commenting on other people's lives.
Ladies, look around you.....there must be something you can do or look at to make you happier.....
Better yet, go to one of those blogs that hate autism so much...you know the one...where they are allowed to talk badly about people they don't know...Believe me...you will fit in nicely there....
Anyway, another one of her little cohorts decided on another topic to take the opportunity to berate and belittle a fellow blogger of ours and her son. I left my own comment, but that was deleted, along with the hers, because it had nothing to do with B12 shots, not to mention it was downright distasteful.
I need to write how I feel, because I cannot imagine hating someone so much that you would make a rude comment about their autistic child. Really, how low can someone go?
You can disagree with me, you can call me a BITCH, I do not care. But I will draw the line at any remarks to my children or friends of my children. I will draw the line when someone says I abuse or neglect my children or if someone comments about my friend in such a way.
Just because there are a select few on this AW forum that are bitter and mad at what life has given them, be it their husband's, parent's, friend's, family or children. I find it appalling and downright childish.
Now whatever these people comment on or write will be totally disregarded by me....I will hope they will find happiness in their shallow, little world's that they can stop commenting on other people's lives.
Ladies, look around you.....there must be something you can do or look at to make you happier.....
Better yet, go to one of those blogs that hate autism so much...you know the one...where they are allowed to talk badly about people they don't know...Believe me...you will fit in nicely there....
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Defining AUTISM
I have children whom happen to have the neurological disorder called Autism. Autism does not define my children. My children all have unique personalities. They each define themselves:
Caitlin-15-beautiful, artistic, intelligent, caring.
Deirdre-12-pretty, smart, quirky, sensitive.
Erin-10-lovely, happy, bright, emotional.
Meaghan-8-gorgeous, girly, giggly, ornery.
Patrick-6-handsome, feisty, bull-headed, sweet.
Kiernan-5-precious, active, funny, loving.
See, not once did I mention autistic.
In our home, autism is not the defining factor in our children's lives.
Caitlin-15-beautiful, artistic, intelligent, caring.
Deirdre-12-pretty, smart, quirky, sensitive.
Erin-10-lovely, happy, bright, emotional.
Meaghan-8-gorgeous, girly, giggly, ornery.
Patrick-6-handsome, feisty, bull-headed, sweet.
Kiernan-5-precious, active, funny, loving.
See, not once did I mention autistic.
In our home, autism is not the defining factor in our children's lives.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Now For The Truth.....
I just read the new blog written by the un-named, very angry father of an autistic son. In this new blog, written today, this father has written a very long "speech" about how no child with severe autism can grow up and do "normal" things or in fact "be safe"...
I need to set the record straight on my blog. I promise not to make it as long as his blog. It gets redundant.
Our oldest, Caitlin, is 15 years old. When she was 2 1/2 she screamed, rocked, jumped, flapped, and buzzed. She smeared feces, shampoo, hand cream, toothpaste, etc all over the house. She was non-verbal and very hyperactive.
Today, Caitlin is fully inclusioned in regular 9th grade with a full-time attendant. She no longer smears anything. She does like to draw and is quite a wonderful artist...I will share this on another date...
Caitlin started speaking between 8 and 9 years of age. She has been potty trained since the age of a 6 years old. She has NEVER had an accident in her pants or in the bed. Caitlin also can hold a conversation, answer questions, and let her needs be met. She can wait outside for the bus without me worrying about her running into the street. She knows not to get into the car of someone she does not know.
And guess what????
ALL of this was done WITHOUT chelation....not one drop of ointment on her body...not one IV in her vein....not one suppository up her butt.
Caitlin is going to be capable of living on her own by the time she is 21, if I will allow her to go. I really would love to keep her around. I enjoy my daughter and all she has to offer us. She is funny, quirky, moody and loveable...you know, your typical 15 year old...but, with SEVERE AUTISM....
2 of our other children have come out of severe autism and now have the diagnosis PDD-NOS. They did this WITHOUT chelation.
Our youngest still is very much autistic, BUT I have no doubt he too will become as wonderful as our other children.. There is no reason for me not to feel this way, because I look at proof in our home every day that he will excel in life...
WITHOUT CHELATION...
I need to set the record straight on my blog. I promise not to make it as long as his blog. It gets redundant.
Our oldest, Caitlin, is 15 years old. When she was 2 1/2 she screamed, rocked, jumped, flapped, and buzzed. She smeared feces, shampoo, hand cream, toothpaste, etc all over the house. She was non-verbal and very hyperactive.
Today, Caitlin is fully inclusioned in regular 9th grade with a full-time attendant. She no longer smears anything. She does like to draw and is quite a wonderful artist...I will share this on another date...
Caitlin started speaking between 8 and 9 years of age. She has been potty trained since the age of a 6 years old. She has NEVER had an accident in her pants or in the bed. Caitlin also can hold a conversation, answer questions, and let her needs be met. She can wait outside for the bus without me worrying about her running into the street. She knows not to get into the car of someone she does not know.
And guess what????
ALL of this was done WITHOUT chelation....not one drop of ointment on her body...not one IV in her vein....not one suppository up her butt.
Caitlin is going to be capable of living on her own by the time she is 21, if I will allow her to go. I really would love to keep her around. I enjoy my daughter and all she has to offer us. She is funny, quirky, moody and loveable...you know, your typical 15 year old...but, with SEVERE AUTISM....
2 of our other children have come out of severe autism and now have the diagnosis PDD-NOS. They did this WITHOUT chelation.
Our youngest still is very much autistic, BUT I have no doubt he too will become as wonderful as our other children.. There is no reason for me not to feel this way, because I look at proof in our home every day that he will excel in life...
WITHOUT CHELATION...
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Anonymous....
I will admit that I do read John Best, Jr's blog-Hating Autism. When I started to get into blogging, I typed in Autism Blogs in Google and his was one of many blogs that came up. I read alot of pro-chelation, pro-biomedical, pro-Yasko protocol, etc. I also read most of the NT blogs, because I can relate best with the NT crowd.
I also read comments on all the blogs. I like to read what other's think about what I just read.
On Hating Autism's blog, in the comment section, on several occasions my name Mom26children is brought up by one ANONYMOUS person. I don't take much on the comments of this person, because I don't know who it is.
I feel if I annoy this person so much, they would show up using their REAL name and approach me in a more mature manner. But, since this person is intent on mocking me and trying to put me down with people who also don't know me, there is nothing I can do.
BUT, I would like to reassure this ANONYMOUS that in no time have I ever placed a comment on Hating Autism. If I did, I would use my real name Jeanette or Mom26children.
I have nothing to HIDE....I don't think I can say the same for you.
Also, I must comment about John Best, Jr. I do not think he is a bad person. I do not think he is a bad father. When I read how he writes about his son, I picture a father who adores his son. A father who is justified for being proud of his son at succeeding in riding a bicycle. I just do not agree with some of his bullying tactics with people who do not agree with him.
I know people who have met him...they tell me he is nice. Maybe one day, we will also be priveleged to see that side of him.
Maybe one day, he will not compare me or Soapbox Mom to "crack addicts who dropped out of Grammar school"......
I also read comments on all the blogs. I like to read what other's think about what I just read.
On Hating Autism's blog, in the comment section, on several occasions my name Mom26children is brought up by one ANONYMOUS person. I don't take much on the comments of this person, because I don't know who it is.
I feel if I annoy this person so much, they would show up using their REAL name and approach me in a more mature manner. But, since this person is intent on mocking me and trying to put me down with people who also don't know me, there is nothing I can do.
BUT, I would like to reassure this ANONYMOUS that in no time have I ever placed a comment on Hating Autism. If I did, I would use my real name Jeanette or Mom26children.
I have nothing to HIDE....I don't think I can say the same for you.
Also, I must comment about John Best, Jr. I do not think he is a bad person. I do not think he is a bad father. When I read how he writes about his son, I picture a father who adores his son. A father who is justified for being proud of his son at succeeding in riding a bicycle. I just do not agree with some of his bullying tactics with people who do not agree with him.
I know people who have met him...they tell me he is nice. Maybe one day, we will also be priveleged to see that side of him.
Maybe one day, he will not compare me or Soapbox Mom to "crack addicts who dropped out of Grammar school"......
Monday, October 23, 2006
If Only....
I read many autism parent's forums. It is my right as the parent of many autistics.
The majority of parent's on these forums want reassurance that they themselves are doing the right thing. They want to be patted on the back for having bad thoughts about their children or even never wanting the children to begin with.
If only I had never had children I would be on a cruise ship with a hunk name Jacque....sorry, my fantasy....
My point being this...even people I meet with "normal" children want to get away. They do not like the responsiblities given when it comes to having children. It just so happens that our jobs are a wee bit harder because are children are autistic.
SO there in lies the guilt....
Guess what????
No one likes all the responsiblity. Your so-called friends, the ones with normal kids, they want to get away also.
So next time you get into you "Calgon take me away bath" (as if), just close your eyes and think of Jacque...
Damn, that was me again.....Sorry
The majority of parent's on these forums want reassurance that they themselves are doing the right thing. They want to be patted on the back for having bad thoughts about their children or even never wanting the children to begin with.
If only I had never had children I would be on a cruise ship with a hunk name Jacque....sorry, my fantasy....
My point being this...even people I meet with "normal" children want to get away. They do not like the responsiblities given when it comes to having children. It just so happens that our jobs are a wee bit harder because are children are autistic.
SO there in lies the guilt....
Guess what????
No one likes all the responsiblity. Your so-called friends, the ones with normal kids, they want to get away also.
So next time you get into you "Calgon take me away bath" (as if), just close your eyes and think of Jacque...
Damn, that was me again.....Sorry
Low-Dose Birth Control...Or, Don't Hate Me Because I'm Fertile....
http://www.usatoday.com/life/gallery/2005/autism/flash.htm
If you can look at the pictures taken by H. Darr Beiser, with USA Today, you will understand why I am not concerned why the fact that my low-dose birth control did not work. Every one of these precious children were born to a husband and wife who wanted each and every one of them.
What newspaper articles and television shows did not mention is the fact that we miscarried one child before Erin and Kiernan was originally a twin. Losing both of those unborn children was very hard on our family. I would have loved to have 8 children.
I feel badly for women who have a hard time conceiving. How sad it must be to fight a body that does not want to carry a child. I would be a surrogate mother in a heartbeat...but Kiernan was a c-section and they advised us against any more children.
My husband then went under the knife and that is taken care of-snip snip.....
My husband is very involved in all the children. He has gone to every doctor and dentist appointment from day one. He took these precious children to all of their therapy appointments. I stayed home with my daycare or the other children. He is a hands-on daddy and very proud of his large family.
We don't require alot of extras to be happy in this house. We are so happy just to sit around and play board games on a Saturday.
We are accepted in our community and church. We are complemented often on the behaviors of our children. Our children have come a long way....they have gone from screaming out-0f-control babies and toddlers to charming and well-behaved children. With the exception of Kiernan...he still loves to scream in the grocery store.
Back to the low-dose bc in question....I was on the low-dose, because I was breast-feeding my little lovelies. I could not breast feed and take a higher dose pill.
Fortunately, my husband or myself are very fertile. Otherwise, I would not have my wonderful children.
The fact that the majority are autistic bothers some people....oh well....I cannot please everyone, nor would I want to. If you are so unhappy in your life, I am sorry. Please do not bring me into that abyss.
So, as you look through the slide show of my children...remember each one was wanted and each one is loved for the individual they are.....
If you can look at the pictures taken by H. Darr Beiser, with USA Today, you will understand why I am not concerned why the fact that my low-dose birth control did not work. Every one of these precious children were born to a husband and wife who wanted each and every one of them.
What newspaper articles and television shows did not mention is the fact that we miscarried one child before Erin and Kiernan was originally a twin. Losing both of those unborn children was very hard on our family. I would have loved to have 8 children.
I feel badly for women who have a hard time conceiving. How sad it must be to fight a body that does not want to carry a child. I would be a surrogate mother in a heartbeat...but Kiernan was a c-section and they advised us against any more children.
My husband then went under the knife and that is taken care of-snip snip.....
My husband is very involved in all the children. He has gone to every doctor and dentist appointment from day one. He took these precious children to all of their therapy appointments. I stayed home with my daycare or the other children. He is a hands-on daddy and very proud of his large family.
We don't require alot of extras to be happy in this house. We are so happy just to sit around and play board games on a Saturday.
We are accepted in our community and church. We are complemented often on the behaviors of our children. Our children have come a long way....they have gone from screaming out-0f-control babies and toddlers to charming and well-behaved children. With the exception of Kiernan...he still loves to scream in the grocery store.
Back to the low-dose bc in question....I was on the low-dose, because I was breast-feeding my little lovelies. I could not breast feed and take a higher dose pill.
Fortunately, my husband or myself are very fertile. Otherwise, I would not have my wonderful children.
The fact that the majority are autistic bothers some people....oh well....I cannot please everyone, nor would I want to. If you are so unhappy in your life, I am sorry. Please do not bring me into that abyss.
So, as you look through the slide show of my children...remember each one was wanted and each one is loved for the individual they are.....
Saturday, October 21, 2006
AOD-Autism Obsessive Disorder...
It has come to my attention that there is a new disorder on the rise...AOD-Autism Obsessive Disorder.
Since everyone on the forums likes labels, I thought this would intrigue you guys. I mean, really, when asked what diagnosis your child has all you need to answer is autism...not autistic with OCD, ADHD, ADD, Bipolar....etc.
Also, for goodness sakes, how do you care for your children when you post so much each day on 2 or 3 different forums? I am baffled about how the children are even cared for?
I have tracked a few this weekend, and believe me, I am stunned. For almost 2 years one mother has been posting over 3 times a day. That is obsessive. Then the same mother and several of her cohorts pick and whine about the comments made by certain Accepting people...be it parent's or educators.
I would also like to bring to the attention of one AOD parent...who shall remain nameless....my 2 children have gotten better since the newspaper report in the USA Today was written over 18 months ago. It is called growth. Kids do it, even without spending all of your money on biomedical crap.
I do not know if AOD has a cure or even if you can recover. I don't believe it can happen. I think you people are so absorbed into your children's autism that you cannot dig out of the hole. I feel badly for you, but mostly I feel badly for your children. How much are they missing out on?
Hey, Maybe Buttar has a cream...or you can sit in an HBOT chamber...or sit while you have an IVIG...or better yet
Just let it GO.....
Since everyone on the forums likes labels, I thought this would intrigue you guys. I mean, really, when asked what diagnosis your child has all you need to answer is autism...not autistic with OCD, ADHD, ADD, Bipolar....etc.
Also, for goodness sakes, how do you care for your children when you post so much each day on 2 or 3 different forums? I am baffled about how the children are even cared for?
I have tracked a few this weekend, and believe me, I am stunned. For almost 2 years one mother has been posting over 3 times a day. That is obsessive. Then the same mother and several of her cohorts pick and whine about the comments made by certain Accepting people...be it parent's or educators.
I would also like to bring to the attention of one AOD parent...who shall remain nameless....my 2 children have gotten better since the newspaper report in the USA Today was written over 18 months ago. It is called growth. Kids do it, even without spending all of your money on biomedical crap.
I do not know if AOD has a cure or even if you can recover. I don't believe it can happen. I think you people are so absorbed into your children's autism that you cannot dig out of the hole. I feel badly for you, but mostly I feel badly for your children. How much are they missing out on?
Hey, Maybe Buttar has a cream...or you can sit in an HBOT chamber...or sit while you have an IVIG...or better yet
Just let it GO.....
My First Experience With Autism
My first experience with autism was not with the birth of our oldest child. It was years before 1991.
My first experience was in 1982. I was needing to get extra money, as being in college, beer cost alot of money and George Strait was costing more and more to see.
I went for an interview at The San Marcos Treatment Center. It was a part of The Brown School's system. They were basically a place for very wealthy people to send their handicapped or emotionally disabled children. Also, if you're state could not find appropriate schooling for your child, they would send them to The San Marcos Treatment Center.
The first dorm I worked on was an all-female dorm. There were older women in 2 rooms (32 to 70 years old), middle-aged women in 2 rooms (18 to 30 years old)_, teenagers in 1 room (11 to 16 years old) and young girls (4 to 10 years old) in the last room.
The majority of the younger girls were labeled Autistic. They were heavily medicated to calm their behaviors. I remember nurses visits 3 times a day for most of the residents. My first one-to-one was a 15 year old autistic girl from Chicago. The second was 16 years and autistic from Chicago also. Not related, by the way.
Our oldest daughter, Caitlin, is exactly like Kim. Jumping, flapping, and defiant at times. I loved Kim. She was a joy to work with.
The older ladies were most definitely autistic. That would make Martha, if she is still alive, in her late 80's or early 90's. Janet would be in her early 80's. Caroline would be in her 80's. Anne would be in her early 60's. They were not labeled autistic, because the label they got by their doctor's were retarded....but believe me, they had all of the autistic characteristics.
So there goes the ever popular question of "Where are the 75 year old autistics?"....Easy answer....they are dead, institutionalized, or heavily medicated. These women and men were not treated the same as they are now. They were not educated like they would be required to be now. They sat in a room and waited for their meds, meals and therapists.
This Brown School's was a very nice place. The residents were taken good care of. They were the lucky ones. They had people who were well-paid, for the time, and cared for them. I know, of all the people that I cared for, I loved them all.
Now that we have autistic children, I have to be thankful for my job at The San Marcos Treatment Center. That job taught me patience, kindness, acceptance and love of what is deemed by others to be abnormal. I wish I could find these people and let them know the lessons they taught me. I hope they are still being well-cared for and loved. I hope wherever they are, they are safe and happy.
I must edit this post, because I wrote it all wrong....
My first experience with autism was when I was 11 years old and hired to babysit a neighbors children. The little girl was 6 and the little boy was 3. The little boy was autistic.
I cannot believe that I totally forgot about this little boy. He was non-verbal and scream most of the night. I did not mind babysitting him, but it was a challenge for a 11 year old girl.
That was in 1971. This child would be around 38 years old now....I wonder where he is?
My first experience was in 1982. I was needing to get extra money, as being in college, beer cost alot of money and George Strait was costing more and more to see.
I went for an interview at The San Marcos Treatment Center. It was a part of The Brown School's system. They were basically a place for very wealthy people to send their handicapped or emotionally disabled children. Also, if you're state could not find appropriate schooling for your child, they would send them to The San Marcos Treatment Center.
The first dorm I worked on was an all-female dorm. There were older women in 2 rooms (32 to 70 years old), middle-aged women in 2 rooms (18 to 30 years old)_, teenagers in 1 room (11 to 16 years old) and young girls (4 to 10 years old) in the last room.
The majority of the younger girls were labeled Autistic. They were heavily medicated to calm their behaviors. I remember nurses visits 3 times a day for most of the residents. My first one-to-one was a 15 year old autistic girl from Chicago. The second was 16 years and autistic from Chicago also. Not related, by the way.
Our oldest daughter, Caitlin, is exactly like Kim. Jumping, flapping, and defiant at times. I loved Kim. She was a joy to work with.
The older ladies were most definitely autistic. That would make Martha, if she is still alive, in her late 80's or early 90's. Janet would be in her early 80's. Caroline would be in her 80's. Anne would be in her early 60's. They were not labeled autistic, because the label they got by their doctor's were retarded....but believe me, they had all of the autistic characteristics.
So there goes the ever popular question of "Where are the 75 year old autistics?"....Easy answer....they are dead, institutionalized, or heavily medicated. These women and men were not treated the same as they are now. They were not educated like they would be required to be now. They sat in a room and waited for their meds, meals and therapists.
This Brown School's was a very nice place. The residents were taken good care of. They were the lucky ones. They had people who were well-paid, for the time, and cared for them. I know, of all the people that I cared for, I loved them all.
Now that we have autistic children, I have to be thankful for my job at The San Marcos Treatment Center. That job taught me patience, kindness, acceptance and love of what is deemed by others to be abnormal. I wish I could find these people and let them know the lessons they taught me. I hope they are still being well-cared for and loved. I hope wherever they are, they are safe and happy.
I must edit this post, because I wrote it all wrong....
My first experience with autism was when I was 11 years old and hired to babysit a neighbors children. The little girl was 6 and the little boy was 3. The little boy was autistic.
I cannot believe that I totally forgot about this little boy. He was non-verbal and scream most of the night. I did not mind babysitting him, but it was a challenge for a 11 year old girl.
That was in 1971. This child would be around 38 years old now....I wonder where he is?
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Not Your Typical Day...
I woke up this morning and Kiernan was right beside me...soaking wet. Yes, he had wet the bed and decided to crawl in next to me...now my bed is wet. So, I got up and changed his diaper. We came downstairs and I started our regular morning routine.
2 of the children had appointments with the neurologist this morning. Their bi-annual checkup.
I started making coffee and breakfast for the family.
Kiernan was in a very feisty mood. He went directly into the bathroom, and through the toilet paper into the toilet. I removed him and cleaned the water up. Next stop for Kiernan was the kitchen refrigerator. He is fascinated with the water spout. My husband cleaned that up.
I could not find the insurance forms for the girls and we were running late. I had to sign report cards and get them in the backpacks. I got the lunches packed.
As I turn around, I caught Kiernan spilling my coffee onto the carpeting. He loves to see things spill. I throw a towel over the spill..I will deal with that later. But, Kiernan was very pleased with what he had accomplished.
The kids were stressing because, God forbid, we were 5 minutes behind schedule.
We load up in the Tahoe and suddenly my husband stops. "We don't have any steering"...what..."I said, I cannot turn the steering wheel"....
After 5 more minutes of sitting there, the kids start panicking. 5 minutes before the school bell rings. My kids are never, ever TARDY.
We walk in the house, just to get our thoughts together. Kiernan grabs his backpack and begins his walk to school. We only live 5 blocks, so he was headed in the right direction.
Austin finally got a cold front and it was a very cool 63 degrees and windy. Kiernan loves the wind.
As we are walking to school, Patrick and Erin are visibly upset. They have never been tardy and are sure they will be in trouble. Patrick and I are reassuring them they will be okay. Meaghan is complaining because she is missing Art class. We assure her she will be able to go.
We get to school, Patrick, myself, Erin, Meaghan, Little Patrick, and Kiernan...all in a row. The principal says, "What's wrong?". I explained car trouble. She laughs and stated she thought it was something bad since we were all together.
So, thanks to a broken alternator belt, we had a rough start to school. The day has since calmed down. I now have a turkey in the oven so the kids will be happy when they come home from school. They love when I make turkey. It smells like Thanksgiving to them....and believe it or not....they have alot to be Thankful for.
Oh, and one more note....report cards.
Meaghan got 5 A's and 1 B-honor roll
Erin got 4 A's and 2 B's-honor roll
The boys are graded differently..they don't give letter grades until 3rd grade.
Patrick got all 3's and 4's.
Kiernan got all 1's and some 2's....he has come so far in 2 years.
We are so proud of them all....
2 of the children had appointments with the neurologist this morning. Their bi-annual checkup.
I started making coffee and breakfast for the family.
Kiernan was in a very feisty mood. He went directly into the bathroom, and through the toilet paper into the toilet. I removed him and cleaned the water up. Next stop for Kiernan was the kitchen refrigerator. He is fascinated with the water spout. My husband cleaned that up.
I could not find the insurance forms for the girls and we were running late. I had to sign report cards and get them in the backpacks. I got the lunches packed.
As I turn around, I caught Kiernan spilling my coffee onto the carpeting. He loves to see things spill. I throw a towel over the spill..I will deal with that later. But, Kiernan was very pleased with what he had accomplished.
The kids were stressing because, God forbid, we were 5 minutes behind schedule.
We load up in the Tahoe and suddenly my husband stops. "We don't have any steering"...what..."I said, I cannot turn the steering wheel"....
After 5 more minutes of sitting there, the kids start panicking. 5 minutes before the school bell rings. My kids are never, ever TARDY.
We walk in the house, just to get our thoughts together. Kiernan grabs his backpack and begins his walk to school. We only live 5 blocks, so he was headed in the right direction.
Austin finally got a cold front and it was a very cool 63 degrees and windy. Kiernan loves the wind.
As we are walking to school, Patrick and Erin are visibly upset. They have never been tardy and are sure they will be in trouble. Patrick and I are reassuring them they will be okay. Meaghan is complaining because she is missing Art class. We assure her she will be able to go.
We get to school, Patrick, myself, Erin, Meaghan, Little Patrick, and Kiernan...all in a row. The principal says, "What's wrong?". I explained car trouble. She laughs and stated she thought it was something bad since we were all together.
So, thanks to a broken alternator belt, we had a rough start to school. The day has since calmed down. I now have a turkey in the oven so the kids will be happy when they come home from school. They love when I make turkey. It smells like Thanksgiving to them....and believe it or not....they have alot to be Thankful for.
Oh, and one more note....report cards.
Meaghan got 5 A's and 1 B-honor roll
Erin got 4 A's and 2 B's-honor roll
The boys are graded differently..they don't give letter grades until 3rd grade.
Patrick got all 3's and 4's.
Kiernan got all 1's and some 2's....he has come so far in 2 years.
We are so proud of them all....
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
The Autism Rainbow....
I have always thought we had a unique family. We are who we are....
We have 6 children. 5 of them autistic. That is not bragging rights, just what we are.
I received a call from a mother the other day, who wanted to come and meet me. She just got the diagnosis of Autism for her son. I told her she was welcome, but she probably wouldn't like what I had to say. She said that she would take the chance.
In walks this very pretty lady. She looked sad. We started talking. I explained our family to her. She could not believe what she was hearing. She was so mad her son had autism she was blind with anger...her words, not mine.
She stayed longer than she had planned, because she wanted to meet my children....
As they came off the bus, I introduced the first four:
1. This is Kiernan....our hardest one to handle as of today. Fully autistic and very active. He has the face of an angel, but is so sly and devilish. We adore this child.
2. This is Patrick...he is very shy. He does not handle noise or clothing well. He is the smartest 6 year old I know. He loves hugs and loves his friends. He is all boy.
3. This is Erin. She has come so far in such a short 9 years. This child went from severely autistic to an honor roll student. She went from screaming to happy. She is so joyous.
4. This is Meaghan. She is our angel. This child loves her autistic siblings, but sure lets us know when she needs our attention. She will be famous someday...I am sure of it.
The kids sat and talked with this woman for about a half and hour until Deirdre's bus pulled up. In walks Deirdre...
5. This is Deirdre. She is a typical 12 year old girl. She thinks her father and I are the dumbest people on the planet Earth. Oh well, she is probably not that far off. This Asperger's child has gotten through all of her quirks and has made a load of friends. My hat is off to Deirdre.
Deirdre started to answer this ladies questions. Deirdre is so analytical. She kind of stunned the woman with her intelligence. I was very proud.
Now Caitlin arrives home in all of her thunder:
6. Who's this? Caitlin asks...This is my friend. Caitlin says,"nice shirt"..the lady says thank you. Not bad for a child who did not notice anyone just 5 short years ago. Caitlin got her snack and retreated to her room...
I went on to explain to this parent of a newly diagnosed autistic child that her world did not just end. It just became different.
All the doctor did was add a label to the child she already has. Do not look differently at this child because of it. Just realize that it does not change who he/she is. You still have the child you gave birth to, they just now have a label. And most important, the label does not define the child.
When this lady left she gave me a great big hug. She said to me, you know what your family is? I was waiting.....
She said, "Your family is the family with the Autism Rainbow..."
I like that...I think I will keep it.
We have 6 children. 5 of them autistic. That is not bragging rights, just what we are.
I received a call from a mother the other day, who wanted to come and meet me. She just got the diagnosis of Autism for her son. I told her she was welcome, but she probably wouldn't like what I had to say. She said that she would take the chance.
In walks this very pretty lady. She looked sad. We started talking. I explained our family to her. She could not believe what she was hearing. She was so mad her son had autism she was blind with anger...her words, not mine.
She stayed longer than she had planned, because she wanted to meet my children....
As they came off the bus, I introduced the first four:
1. This is Kiernan....our hardest one to handle as of today. Fully autistic and very active. He has the face of an angel, but is so sly and devilish. We adore this child.
2. This is Patrick...he is very shy. He does not handle noise or clothing well. He is the smartest 6 year old I know. He loves hugs and loves his friends. He is all boy.
3. This is Erin. She has come so far in such a short 9 years. This child went from severely autistic to an honor roll student. She went from screaming to happy. She is so joyous.
4. This is Meaghan. She is our angel. This child loves her autistic siblings, but sure lets us know when she needs our attention. She will be famous someday...I am sure of it.
The kids sat and talked with this woman for about a half and hour until Deirdre's bus pulled up. In walks Deirdre...
5. This is Deirdre. She is a typical 12 year old girl. She thinks her father and I are the dumbest people on the planet Earth. Oh well, she is probably not that far off. This Asperger's child has gotten through all of her quirks and has made a load of friends. My hat is off to Deirdre.
Deirdre started to answer this ladies questions. Deirdre is so analytical. She kind of stunned the woman with her intelligence. I was very proud.
Now Caitlin arrives home in all of her thunder:
6. Who's this? Caitlin asks...This is my friend. Caitlin says,"nice shirt"..the lady says thank you. Not bad for a child who did not notice anyone just 5 short years ago. Caitlin got her snack and retreated to her room...
I went on to explain to this parent of a newly diagnosed autistic child that her world did not just end. It just became different.
All the doctor did was add a label to the child she already has. Do not look differently at this child because of it. Just realize that it does not change who he/she is. You still have the child you gave birth to, they just now have a label. And most important, the label does not define the child.
When this lady left she gave me a great big hug. She said to me, you know what your family is? I was waiting.....
She said, "Your family is the family with the Autism Rainbow..."
I like that...I think I will keep it.
The Acceptance Around Us..
Today, I had my monthly lunch with Meaghan, our 8 year-old. We have lunch anytime the menu says ENCHILADAS....I love them.
We pick a seat out in the hallway, so we can speak to people as they pass. And believe me, alot of people pass.
I know every teacher at our school...and Mary Hutka (she was Caitlin's amazing 2nd grade teacher) this is a shout out to you....and I must say I like them all. Some I love, but I like all of them.
Any way, I was sitting there with Meaghan and the PE teacher came out and was having her class run laps back and forth on a track in the hall. I asked Meaghan if she wanted to eat in the library, in case it got too loud. Meaghan declined, she wanted to watch the 5th graders run back and forth.
There were 4 groups of 4 runners. The first group went...nothing spectacular. The second group...the same. The third group had a young lady who ran longer than any girl or boy. Then came the fourth group.
Now, up to this point, it was pretty quiet. No screaming, no cheering, just counting laps.
All of a sudden, with the fourth group, came these yells of encouragement...GO ZOEY, GO ZOEY, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
Here comes Zoey, a little girl who uses a walker due to Cerebral Palsy. Running her little heart out. She would lift her feet up when she approached the line and scoot to the line. She would stop, turn her walker around, and off she went. She went until she could not go any further.
What impressed me even more than the AMAZING Zoey, was the fact the children all stopped to cheer her on. The fact that when she was finished, they made sure she was okay. They helped her get water, and all gave her a hug or a High 5.
This is the school all of my children have attended. All 6 of them have been there or are going there. This is a school who does not tolerate bullying, name-calling, or non-acceptance of any kind.
We have bi-polar students, Cerebral Palsy students, ADHD students, a student with Tourette's Syndrome and of course, the Autistic students (most of which are ours). These children are all inclusioned when they reach the age of 4 or older.
Our children get invited to all the birthday parties, sleepovers, Christmas, Easter and Halloween parties. They have always been accepted. I believe we owe the fact the parent's accepting all of the children is because the school accepts them also.
The special education team at Summitt Elementary is first-class. These people make sure the children excel. They are not allowed to "just get by"..they are made to learn and grow into wonderful young pre-teens.
If you don't believe me, just ask all that witnessed the race of a lifetime today...just ask the Amazing ZOEY......
We pick a seat out in the hallway, so we can speak to people as they pass. And believe me, alot of people pass.
I know every teacher at our school...and Mary Hutka (she was Caitlin's amazing 2nd grade teacher) this is a shout out to you....and I must say I like them all. Some I love, but I like all of them.
Any way, I was sitting there with Meaghan and the PE teacher came out and was having her class run laps back and forth on a track in the hall. I asked Meaghan if she wanted to eat in the library, in case it got too loud. Meaghan declined, she wanted to watch the 5th graders run back and forth.
There were 4 groups of 4 runners. The first group went...nothing spectacular. The second group...the same. The third group had a young lady who ran longer than any girl or boy. Then came the fourth group.
Now, up to this point, it was pretty quiet. No screaming, no cheering, just counting laps.
All of a sudden, with the fourth group, came these yells of encouragement...GO ZOEY, GO ZOEY, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
Here comes Zoey, a little girl who uses a walker due to Cerebral Palsy. Running her little heart out. She would lift her feet up when she approached the line and scoot to the line. She would stop, turn her walker around, and off she went. She went until she could not go any further.
What impressed me even more than the AMAZING Zoey, was the fact the children all stopped to cheer her on. The fact that when she was finished, they made sure she was okay. They helped her get water, and all gave her a hug or a High 5.
This is the school all of my children have attended. All 6 of them have been there or are going there. This is a school who does not tolerate bullying, name-calling, or non-acceptance of any kind.
We have bi-polar students, Cerebral Palsy students, ADHD students, a student with Tourette's Syndrome and of course, the Autistic students (most of which are ours). These children are all inclusioned when they reach the age of 4 or older.
Our children get invited to all the birthday parties, sleepovers, Christmas, Easter and Halloween parties. They have always been accepted. I believe we owe the fact the parent's accepting all of the children is because the school accepts them also.
The special education team at Summitt Elementary is first-class. These people make sure the children excel. They are not allowed to "just get by"..they are made to learn and grow into wonderful young pre-teens.
If you don't believe me, just ask all that witnessed the race of a lifetime today...just ask the Amazing ZOEY......
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Public Assistance....
I have taken the time to read a few statements this weekend, that some kind soul was trying to share with me....thinking I might get offended...The person that sent them to me does not think kindly of my Accepting Attitude towards my children....
They are trying to egg me on....Guess what? It didn't...
But then, I thought about it for a while....
Do I owe this person an explanation of why my family accepts funding from MHMR (Mental Health and Mental Retardation) for Respite and SSI for a couple of our children????
Then I thought, why the heck not. Maybe that will shut them up about me for once and for all....I doubt it....I think soon they will start a fan club about my family. They do seem OBSESSED....
Okay, in 1994, when Caitlin was diagnosed, my husband worked and I ran an in-home daycare. We had a visit from Any Baby Can, a local support group. They assessed our situation and told us about respite help and SSI. The respite help had a 7 year wait list. So we applied for SSI. Unbeknowst to us, we got an appointment. We went downtown and filled out forms and answered questions. 2 weeks later, we were given an appointment with a speech therapist to evaluate Caitlin for SSI. I guess we passed. 6 weeks later we received a retro check and Medicaid...boy was that a lifesaver. Her medical bills were enormous.
Deirdre was born in 1994 and she was not diagnosed until 2004. She has never received any supplemental income of any kind. We feel she will succeed fine and not need services in the future.
Erin was diagnosed in 1998 and we put her on the waitlists and applied for SSI. Again, she qualified and started receiving MHMR and SSI.
Meaghan received no services or funding.
Patrick was diagnosed in 2002. He started receiving SSI and MHMR services at that time. There is now no waitlist for services in Travis County for In-home and Family Support. That is what we get.
Kiernan was diagnosed the same day as Patrick in 2002. He also receives SSI and receives more services than Patrick. He is much more delayed and has a more severe form of autism.
Now, the reason we still receive services is that WE QUALIFY for them. WE do not cheat or lie to get these services. We fill out forms...we go to every evaluation....we open our home up once a month to be observed and make sure we are using the funds appropriately. We have no problems with that.
To be Accepting of Autism does not in any way mean that we do not think we have autistic children. We know they are autistic. Accepting our autistic children is just that ACCEPTING. I wish you people would get that.
We know our children are autistic. We have been told by more than one professional. We have been through the wringer. We will be scrutinized all of our existence as long as we have these amazing children.
So, please refrain, if that is possible, from trying to drag my wonderful family through the mud. And, if you are ever in Austin, Tx...give me a call. You are welcome to come meet us for yourselves. You will probably leave with a smile on your face and a better appreciation of what acceptance is...and maybe you will quit negating our efforts for doing so.
I can DREAM, can't I ??????
They are trying to egg me on....Guess what? It didn't...
But then, I thought about it for a while....
Do I owe this person an explanation of why my family accepts funding from MHMR (Mental Health and Mental Retardation) for Respite and SSI for a couple of our children????
Then I thought, why the heck not. Maybe that will shut them up about me for once and for all....I doubt it....I think soon they will start a fan club about my family. They do seem OBSESSED....
Okay, in 1994, when Caitlin was diagnosed, my husband worked and I ran an in-home daycare. We had a visit from Any Baby Can, a local support group. They assessed our situation and told us about respite help and SSI. The respite help had a 7 year wait list. So we applied for SSI. Unbeknowst to us, we got an appointment. We went downtown and filled out forms and answered questions. 2 weeks later, we were given an appointment with a speech therapist to evaluate Caitlin for SSI. I guess we passed. 6 weeks later we received a retro check and Medicaid...boy was that a lifesaver. Her medical bills were enormous.
Deirdre was born in 1994 and she was not diagnosed until 2004. She has never received any supplemental income of any kind. We feel she will succeed fine and not need services in the future.
Erin was diagnosed in 1998 and we put her on the waitlists and applied for SSI. Again, she qualified and started receiving MHMR and SSI.
Meaghan received no services or funding.
Patrick was diagnosed in 2002. He started receiving SSI and MHMR services at that time. There is now no waitlist for services in Travis County for In-home and Family Support. That is what we get.
Kiernan was diagnosed the same day as Patrick in 2002. He also receives SSI and receives more services than Patrick. He is much more delayed and has a more severe form of autism.
Now, the reason we still receive services is that WE QUALIFY for them. WE do not cheat or lie to get these services. We fill out forms...we go to every evaluation....we open our home up once a month to be observed and make sure we are using the funds appropriately. We have no problems with that.
To be Accepting of Autism does not in any way mean that we do not think we have autistic children. We know they are autistic. Accepting our autistic children is just that ACCEPTING. I wish you people would get that.
We know our children are autistic. We have been told by more than one professional. We have been through the wringer. We will be scrutinized all of our existence as long as we have these amazing children.
So, please refrain, if that is possible, from trying to drag my wonderful family through the mud. And, if you are ever in Austin, Tx...give me a call. You are welcome to come meet us for yourselves. You will probably leave with a smile on your face and a better appreciation of what acceptance is...and maybe you will quit negating our efforts for doing so.
I can DREAM, can't I ??????
Saturday, October 14, 2006
The Still Great GEORGE STRAIT...
I got the rare moment of alonedom yesterday for one hour...no friends, no family, no children, no school....
I listened to George Strait's new CD....all I can say is I love George Strait. He took a gloomy day for me and made me smile.
I just found out that my best friend, a woman who has helped me more than she will ever know, has terminal cancer. I was feeling very blue. How can this happen to such a joyous person. Her husband is devastated.
So, in went George Strait...immediately I was uplifted.
You see, I go way back with George. My first year in college, I was a young 17 year old girl, unaware of what was to become of my life. I signed up as an Agriculture Education major. One of my classes was Surveying.
The other surveying class was the hour in front of ours. One day out walked George Strait. He was 10 years older than us. He had gone to the army and returned to SWTSU to complete his Agriculture degree. He played local bars for money and we usually got in for $1.00...if we were lucky, it was ladies night and we got free beer.
George was just one of the student's during the day, but at night, he was a local Superstar. He played Cheatham Street Warehouse, Bigger Than Dallas, Gruene Hall, The Cheyenne Social Club....I told you, I was a groupie.
We would crowd 10 in a car to go see him in San Antonio, New Braunfels, Austin, Killeen, Waco, and Gruene, Tx.....we loved George.
As he became more popular, we had to dig deeper in our pockets to see him. But dig we did...and I remember when his first album came out. San Marcos, Tx could not have been prouder.
Eventually, more albums came out, and he moved on to bigger and more expensive venues. The only way I can enjoy him now is through is CD's, radio and his rare video appearance.....but that is okay with me.
He has remained part of my family. I moved to NYC, and George came with me. I moved back to Austin, and George moved to.
Now that I am married with children..they have all learned to be quiet when George is on the radio or on the television. They know that 3 nights of the year when I get the television are the CMT awards and the Academy of Country Music Awards.
If I walked up to George Strait, he would have not a clue who I am...I would have to remind him that I took pictures for the Rodeo club while he played on the stage. He used to stop and pose as a picture was being taken. He was a courteous and polite man. He was a true cowboy in every sense of the word. And I am happy to see that he has stayed true to his roots.
My hat is off to you George......
Thanks.
I listened to George Strait's new CD....all I can say is I love George Strait. He took a gloomy day for me and made me smile.
I just found out that my best friend, a woman who has helped me more than she will ever know, has terminal cancer. I was feeling very blue. How can this happen to such a joyous person. Her husband is devastated.
So, in went George Strait...immediately I was uplifted.
You see, I go way back with George. My first year in college, I was a young 17 year old girl, unaware of what was to become of my life. I signed up as an Agriculture Education major. One of my classes was Surveying.
The other surveying class was the hour in front of ours. One day out walked George Strait. He was 10 years older than us. He had gone to the army and returned to SWTSU to complete his Agriculture degree. He played local bars for money and we usually got in for $1.00...if we were lucky, it was ladies night and we got free beer.
George was just one of the student's during the day, but at night, he was a local Superstar. He played Cheatham Street Warehouse, Bigger Than Dallas, Gruene Hall, The Cheyenne Social Club....I told you, I was a groupie.
We would crowd 10 in a car to go see him in San Antonio, New Braunfels, Austin, Killeen, Waco, and Gruene, Tx.....we loved George.
As he became more popular, we had to dig deeper in our pockets to see him. But dig we did...and I remember when his first album came out. San Marcos, Tx could not have been prouder.
Eventually, more albums came out, and he moved on to bigger and more expensive venues. The only way I can enjoy him now is through is CD's, radio and his rare video appearance.....but that is okay with me.
He has remained part of my family. I moved to NYC, and George came with me. I moved back to Austin, and George moved to.
Now that I am married with children..they have all learned to be quiet when George is on the radio or on the television. They know that 3 nights of the year when I get the television are the CMT awards and the Academy of Country Music Awards.
If I walked up to George Strait, he would have not a clue who I am...I would have to remind him that I took pictures for the Rodeo club while he played on the stage. He used to stop and pose as a picture was being taken. He was a courteous and polite man. He was a true cowboy in every sense of the word. And I am happy to see that he has stayed true to his roots.
My hat is off to you George......
Thanks.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Biomedical Interventions...
People have assumed that I am against anything Biomedical. That is simply not true... I am against doing these procedures to someone who does not have the voice or the ability to say no. I am against using children as guineau pigs for DAN! Doctors and other medical quacks.
Now, if you as a parent, an adult so to speak, wants to shove a suppository up your butt, feel free. If you want to smear smelly cream on your body, go for it. If you want to put a hood over your head for HBOT, be my guest. If you want to sit in front of a person and be berated with ABA, have at it. If you want to hook yourself up to an IVIG, more power to ya.
I am just against the fact that these innocent children are being subjected to these regimens on the fact that parent's think they will be cured or recovered. Use whatever phrase you want....I do not care.
Our children do all the things regular children do. All but the oldest and youngest have good friends, ride bikes, play at the playground, have sleepovers, ya know...things kids are supposed to do growing up.
Many children spend alot of time at our home. Parent's have no problem in doing so. They know their children are well-cared for and treated well in our home.
Our children are well-respected at school and known as the O'Donnell children. Not the autistic O'Donnell children.
I have been questioned on the fact that we used Occupational Therapies, Physical Therapies and Speech for our children.
That is true...we use OT because they could not use a spoon or grasp a pencil. They needed the deep brushing to calm them down. They needed deep pressure through massage to make them calm. They loved the swinging on the big swing, it seemed to make them come together in their minds. They do not require this anymore. They are now able to calm down with few prompts to take a deep breath.....it works wonders for them.
The PT was for Caitlin and Erin only. They never crawled and had some issues with walking.
Speech for all but one of our children. Although Deirdre spoke very early, she was hard to understand. The others did not get words until later in their little lives. Kiernan is still non-verbal...his speech teacher is using the AudioVox with him....he loves it.
We were blessed with amazing therapists who seemed to really love our children. We have had the same speech therapist for 12 years. We had the same OT for 8 years. She went through all of our children.
These are interventions, yes, but they do not tout to cure autism. They are used to help our children succeed in areas they were not successful in. IT WORKS FOR OUR FAMILY.
I do not see the fascination with our family from a select few. If you visited our house, it really is quite boring. Right now, at this moment, little Patrick is waiting for me to get off of our computer. Kiernan is watching his Wiggles video. Meaghan is singing One Tin Soldier. Caitlin is in her room. Erin is watching Country Music Television with her father. Deirdre is in her room listening to The Beatles-her newest obsession. Later, we are going to a birthday party. Meaghan is going to a sleep-over and Erin is going with the Scouts to gaze at the stars this evening.
This is what works for our family. NORMALCY.....
And on a final note for the evening...our youngest, Kiernan, who has been trying to master a spoon for a long time, finally succeeded. He now can hold a spoon and eat like a big boy. This is a major hurdle for this child. We are so proud of him...I cannot wait to tell his teacher on Monday. She has been working so hard with him on this.
Now, if you as a parent, an adult so to speak, wants to shove a suppository up your butt, feel free. If you want to smear smelly cream on your body, go for it. If you want to put a hood over your head for HBOT, be my guest. If you want to sit in front of a person and be berated with ABA, have at it. If you want to hook yourself up to an IVIG, more power to ya.
I am just against the fact that these innocent children are being subjected to these regimens on the fact that parent's think they will be cured or recovered. Use whatever phrase you want....I do not care.
Our children do all the things regular children do. All but the oldest and youngest have good friends, ride bikes, play at the playground, have sleepovers, ya know...things kids are supposed to do growing up.
Many children spend alot of time at our home. Parent's have no problem in doing so. They know their children are well-cared for and treated well in our home.
Our children are well-respected at school and known as the O'Donnell children. Not the autistic O'Donnell children.
I have been questioned on the fact that we used Occupational Therapies, Physical Therapies and Speech for our children.
That is true...we use OT because they could not use a spoon or grasp a pencil. They needed the deep brushing to calm them down. They needed deep pressure through massage to make them calm. They loved the swinging on the big swing, it seemed to make them come together in their minds. They do not require this anymore. They are now able to calm down with few prompts to take a deep breath.....it works wonders for them.
The PT was for Caitlin and Erin only. They never crawled and had some issues with walking.
Speech for all but one of our children. Although Deirdre spoke very early, she was hard to understand. The others did not get words until later in their little lives. Kiernan is still non-verbal...his speech teacher is using the AudioVox with him....he loves it.
We were blessed with amazing therapists who seemed to really love our children. We have had the same speech therapist for 12 years. We had the same OT for 8 years. She went through all of our children.
These are interventions, yes, but they do not tout to cure autism. They are used to help our children succeed in areas they were not successful in. IT WORKS FOR OUR FAMILY.
I do not see the fascination with our family from a select few. If you visited our house, it really is quite boring. Right now, at this moment, little Patrick is waiting for me to get off of our computer. Kiernan is watching his Wiggles video. Meaghan is singing One Tin Soldier. Caitlin is in her room. Erin is watching Country Music Television with her father. Deirdre is in her room listening to The Beatles-her newest obsession. Later, we are going to a birthday party. Meaghan is going to a sleep-over and Erin is going with the Scouts to gaze at the stars this evening.
This is what works for our family. NORMALCY.....
And on a final note for the evening...our youngest, Kiernan, who has been trying to master a spoon for a long time, finally succeeded. He now can hold a spoon and eat like a big boy. This is a major hurdle for this child. We are so proud of him...I cannot wait to tell his teacher on Monday. She has been working so hard with him on this.
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