GOD'S EARS....

Noah Connelly is a boxer with a tireless opponent: Autism. When he meets an exotic dancer named Alexia, the two will soon find that some of the hardest fights are not of the body, but of the heart.Cast:Michael WorthMargot FarleyJohn SaxonMitzi KaptureTim ThomersonKaren KimDirected by: Michael Worth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8gV6jRUaWk

"GOD'S EARS" has been chosen to be shown at THE METHOD FILM FESTIVAL in Calabasas at 5:30 pm on Sunday March 30th.

“GODS EARS”
DEBUTS AT THE METHOD FILM FESTIVAL IN LOS ANGELES
ON SUNDAY, MARCH 30TH at 5:30 pm

I was recently caught of guard by a “little” movie that this
guy named Michael Worth wrote, directed and starred in called
“GOD’S EARS”. There wasn’t a huge crowd at the screening
But, it was a respectable amount of people. I personally was
blow away by the film and apparently I wasn’t the only one.
Also, several people who were there that night came up to Michael Worth afterwards to ask him who the actor was that played the lead! He was so convincing playing the part of an autistic person, they didn’t even recognize him!
Having grown up in “HOLLYWOOD” \and having gone through USC film school, I have seen a few films
in my day. Little did I know that this film would end up altering
my sensibilities, my pre-conceived notions and my heart for …
good.
This insightful moving piece of art is the delicate story about a
young boxer struggling with autism and his first real relationship
with an “unlikely” partner. It creatively draws attention to the
natural hunger that all of us crave, which is to bond with each
other regardless of our human “condition” or constraints.
Aesthetically stunning to watch, “GOD’S EARS” is deeply
poignant on many levels. It not only conjured up a brand new
feeling of heartfelt compassion in me but, it infused tolerance
and manifested a fresh perspective about acceptance of others.
As far as autism is concerned, who better to act out the
plight of autism awareness than a fighter? I can’t think of a
better way than using media to interject understanding about
human suffering into mainstream consciousness.
THIS FILM IS A MUST SEE AND ALL I CAN ABOUT THIS GUY IS…
MOVE OVER CLINT EASTWOOD!
TO ATTEND THE WORLD PREMIERE IN LOS ANGELES
GO TO www.brownpapertickets.com/event/31077
YOU CAN SEE THE TRAILER AT
WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/GODSEARS
OR
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/GODSEARS

AUTISM 101...

Autism is big news lately. It is everywhere. I was watching VH1 classics yesterday, and lo and behold....Autism.
Autism is not new to me. I have been around someone with autism from the age of 11. There has always been someone with autism in my life at one time or another. From babysitting to working at a residential treatment center to giving birth to 5.
What is new to me is the fighting amongst the Autism communities.
First there is the biomedical vs. the Neurodiverse...
Second is the adults with autism vs the parent's of autistic children...
Third is the bickering between the different Autism associations;ie, CAN, NAAR, Autism Speaks, etc...
Autism to me is simple....it does not take a college course to understand.
Watching Caitlin, at a young age, seeing the tiny dust particles in the air and dancing around them....laughing at something so tiny that other's just never take the time to notice.
Watching Kiernan pour water from one cup to another, barely with a drop of water falling out. Seeing the joy this brings him.
Listening to Erin sing for 30 minutes in the shower in such a high tone without a care in the world...if we could all be that happy.
Watching Patrick with his wrestling figures during one of his make-believe matches. This from a boy whose playskills were nil just 2 years ago.
Handing Deirdre the phone after she receives a phone call from one of her many friends. Remembering last year how painfully anti-social she was, and now has become this carefree social butterfly.
My children with autism have all come so far, in such a short amount of time.
This happens, I believe, from Early Interventions such as Occupational Therapy, Play Therapy, Speech Therapy, Physical Therapy, etc.
This happens from inclusion with Neurotypical peers in regular education classrooms...I do not believe in segregating autistic children away from NT peers. Life is not segregated, why should school be?
We were approached by an Autism "Specialty" School in Austin when Caitlin was 3 years old. I was invited to come and observe a classroom they would like Caitlin to be enrolled in. I saw not only behaviors similar to Cady's, but new behaviors I did not want her to bring home.
Caitlin has been enrolled in regular education classes since she was 6 years old. Before that, she was the ONLY autistic child in her Early Childhood Classes.
Caitlin has flourished and learned so much from NT children. Her peers nurture and correct her in public if her behaviors are disturbing. Caitlin takes their cues well and alters her behavior when necessary.
I can take all of my children out in public without meltdowns. They know how to behave in public...when they were young, if they started to scream or misbehave in a public situation, we would leave the situation. We do not throw a tee-shirt on them as an excuse for them to misbehave. We do not hand out little business cards to explain their behaviors. We do not glare at people who look at our children strangely for noticing their stimming and humming. People are curious....
Autism is not focusing on why my children are different, but focusing on what makes them all unique and special individuals who have so much to offer now and in the future.
We are so very lucky have been given the opportunity to be the parent's of these children. I thank God every day for this opportunity. I hope they are as proud of us as we are of them.

I'M ALREADY THERE....

In a perfect world, all people, including those with disabilities would be accepted by all people.
Today, as I was standing in line, with my children, at the San Antonio Zoo, a little girl walked by us and said, "Hi Kiernan....look Mama, Kiernan's here".
I asked the little girl how she knew Kiernan and she proudly said, "Kiernan is in my first grade class".
She then proceeded to ask Kiernan, "Kiernan, do you love the zoo"?
Of course, Kiernan did not answer...he is non-verbal. I don't think she notices he is non-verbal, I believe she thinks he is exactly like her.
Throughout the day, we would pass her and her family...the little girl would run up to Kiernan and say things like, "Kiernan, don't you just love the zoo"?, "Kiernan did you see the elephants"?, "Kiernan, how is your day going"?, etc.
I did not think about it until my ride home back to Austin. I have worked so hard to make sure my children were accepted by their peers and their community. Thanks to this beautiful little blonde-haired Angel...I AM ALREADY THERE.

THE SANITY OF AUTISM...

I have often been asked how we keep sane in our house with so many children, let alone so many children with Autism....
The only thing I can remember was after I had Deirdre, our second child, I was overwhelmed. I thought, "what was I thinking...2 children are hard". Now, keep in mind, Caitlin was just newly diagnosed with Autism and had all of the behaviors that come with Autism.
When I became pregnant with Erin, I thought man, this will be hard. But, after Erin was born, everything sort of fell into place. She fit into our family perfectly.
Erin was 6 months old when I found out we were pregnant with Meaghan....what the heck, I thought, Erin doesn't sleep anyways.
Meaghan was born and was perfect in every way...she did not fuss, cry or give us an ounce of trouble.
13 months later, we found out we were going to have Patrick...he had a 10% survival chance and I was put on bedrest. I prayed every night to let me carry this pregnancy to term. I still thank Go for giving me Patrick...he is the smartest little boy and loves his Mommy so much.
Patrick was 6 months old and I found out I was having twins...Yes...TWINS. After 2 months, the second twin was not progressing in the uterus and was eventually reabsorbed. So here came Kiernan.
I have never, ever regretted having our children. Even through all of the behavior issues, learning difficulties, therapies, doctors appointments and school meetings....these children were meant to be here...in THIS FAMILY.

We do not treat our children with Autism any different than we treat our child without Autism. We have never let Autism be an excuse for them to not succeed and behave. Our children are children first and foremost.
On any given day, you will find more than 6 children in our home...parent's trust us to watch their children and we are honored to have their children in our home. The parent's of these children have raised them to be non-judgemental and loving. We are honored to be their friends and have their children be our children's friends.

So, after a very long 9 days of Spring Break...school resumes tomorrow....
I will do a Happy Dance in the morning and then begin the task of cleaning all 7 bedrooms.
I love cleaning this house....it reminds me of the love in our community and why we are so blessed to have been given this house.

I have decided this week to remove myself from commenting on some message boards on 2 forums....I find the bickering and the hatefulness that goes on there disturbing in so many ways. I find there is a "pack" of parent's who survive by bleeding the life-blood out of parent's who do not think the way they do about Autism (hating it) and reject any possibility of addressing their children's positive sides with Autism.
Trust me, when they succeed and get rid of the "sane" side of Autism, or the accepting side of Autism, they will feed upon each other....you have been warned.

Right now, I need to keep the Sanity that is my home....I need to continue to spread positive awareness about Autism. I need to keep hope alive in parent's who are inundated with negatives about how their children's lives will be with Autism.....
I need to show them children with Autism are vital and important...they do not need to be "fixed" or "cured"...these children need to feel they are perfect in the eyes of the people they love so much.
How sad some do not....

STARTING NOW....

I have questioned my existence since I was a small girl. I was very much in a different place than most of my peers. I always knew there was a reason for everyone to be here, but never was quite sure of my place.
I was the middle child of a middle-class family. I have an older sister (we are estranged right now)...we won't always be, but she hurt me emotionally very much when I needed her the most) and a younger brother (whom is 9 years younger, so we are in very different places emotionally). My brother is a good person, just doing his own thing.
My father worked alot and then my mother, so we were responsible for alot of things, like keeping the house clean and making sure my brother ate lunch and dinner. We raised show cattle, so I spent alot of time with my heifers and my steers.
My mother was a former beauty queen and my father was a former football star. My sister is gorgeous with blonde hair and blue eyes and my brother is also blonde with blue eyes. Here I was dark brown hair and dark brown eyes....what happened there?

I was not happy with my looks growing up....I wanted to be fair haired badly.
I was thin, but not skinny. I started gaining weight during puberty and was made fun of for being chubby. About the age of 14, I started dieting. By 15, I was completely into anorexia. I was down to 72 pounds and on the verge of dying. My poor parent's did not know what to do..anorexia was not well-known at the time.
I was sent to a hospital and there I began therapies with a wonderful psychiatrists named Dr. Matthews. He was thoughtful and kind....he listened to me when others found it hard to listen.
He made me understand that the anorexia is not about the food, it is about the control of the food.
I became better and was sent home.....but, I still had conflicts about my existence. Why was I put on this Earth?

I went off to college at 17 years of age. I met new and exciting people. I was away from the small school I went to...Pflugerville, with my class of around 80 students...and into a much larger college..SWTSU...
I met lifelong friends there and majored in Agriculture Education...which, by the way, I have never used my degree for anything pertaining to Agriculture.

During college, I started working at the Brown School's or San Marcos Treatment Center...a residential facility for emotionally and mentally disturbed children and young adults.
My first dorm was a dorm with mentally challenged young women and women.....including my 1:1 who was and Autistic 16 year old female. I adored Kim....she was non-verbal and flapped and jumped. When she escaped out of our locked dorm, she ran naked down the hill straight to the convenience store...with staff running after her. She so reminds me of Caitlin and Kiernan.
I worked there for many years....I loved the job. I got burned out after about 5 years and decided to try another career path.

I started working for Sheraton Reservations and became a 1-800 reservations call taker. I quickly moved up to Support/Customer Service. Through that job, I went to New York City and interviewed for a job at The Sheraton Centre Hotel and Towers. I got the job and moved to NYC in June of 1987.
Through a co-worker, I met Patrick, my husband.
We fell in love very quickly and before you know it, I was pregnant with Caitlin.

My dad fell very ill with lung cancer and we moved back to Austin.....here, I decided nobody could care for Caitlin like I could, because she screamed all of the time as an infant and was beginning to show signs of Autism...it took many doctors to finally diagnose her at 2 1/2 years of age. So, I had a registered in-home daycare. I took care of other people's babies...and I was good at it.
I began to get a reputation for being a great daycare provider. I went to school on weekends to learn more about Early Childhood and to get my Second Helping certificate...that was hard work.

By the time I had Kiernan, I had to quit taking in other children. He was very hard to handle, and with 6 children, it was all I could do to get them to therapies and deal with everyday life.

There was not anything I did not think my children couldn't do because of the Autism. I expected the same things from them that I would expect from any child. I believe them to be children first and then children with Autism would come in second or third.
Our children are to get good grades, C's are not acceptable for our children. They are to be polite and courteous to everyone. They are to sit in a chair in school and sit quietly while the teacher is teaching....unfortunately, other children don't seem to have the same respect for the teacher's as they should.

When I am asked how our children are so wonderful in public, it is because we expect them to be. We would not allow anything but good behaviors.
When you walk into our home, you do not find chaos....you find children.
Last Saturday, there were 10 children in our home. I had 2 that were sleeping over and 2 that a friend of mine asked me to watch for a few hours. No one has second thoughts about letting their children play with our children. Our children are non-aggressive and loving. They share their toys and are happy when other children come over.
We are blessed with a happy home, for the most part. I am happy with how I look and how I feel about myself. I am 47 years old and have come to a point in my life where I do not "sweat the small stuff".

As I sit here, with Kiernan on my lap, giving me kisses and hugs...I know my reason for being here. I know that my purpose was to raise 6 of the most amazing children God has put on this Earth. I know my job is to continue to make sure they are accepted in Society and with that I must make sure Society is accepting of our children.
I don't think this will be as hard as other people think it will be....I think we are all ready for acceptance and the willingness to allow our children to be part of our communities. I know in our community it works well.

So, now that I know my purpose...I must do what I was put on this great, big, beautiful Earth to do....that is to raise my children with Autism and with that is to raise Awareness to everyone about Autism.
This starts NOW......get ready.

HOME...Where You Can Be A BEE...

I was grocery shopping, with Caitlin, a few years ago. She was not happy with the song selection on the intercom at the store. She started her buzzing noise and it got progressively louder.
I turned to her and gently said, "Caitlin, you are buzzing too loud".
Caitlin said, "You are not a bee"....
I said, "that is right, You are not a bee"...
Caitlin then turned to me and said, "You can be a bee at home"...

So, as I sit here typing, I hear my oldest daughter upstairs buzzing away -happily.
She is home...where she can be a BEE....

HERE WE GO AGAIN...

I have been living with a child with Autism for 17 years. I have been around for 17 years of "the next big thing" in Autism.
First, there was the B6 and Magnesium mixture that Dr. Rimland swore would make Caitlin speak after 2 to 6 week of taking it. Yes, we spent $32.00 a month on money we did not have to buy this formula, only to have it NOT WORK.
Second, we had the ABA that they swore would make Caitlin act more "normal"...again, BOGUS.
Third, we were on the list for the first round Secretin trials....I thank God we did not do that one.
Fourth, we were promised, by a famous doctor that if we put our children on a GFCF diet, they would be "cured" or "recovered".....I won't go there. They know who they are, and they know what they did.
Fifth, another "famous" doctor from California told us our children were not Autistic but had a Neurological Immune Deficiency...my friend swore this doctor would "cure" her son, and he promised me the same with my children...guess what, her child is still severe...
he never sold me on his bologna.
Sixth, chelation....I never even wanted to go near this one.....SUPER SCARY.
Seventh, B12 shots...
Eighth, Lupron...
Ninth,
Tenth,

Now, because parent' s have won a case from the Government citing that their child was damaged from the vaccines she received, every parent of an Autistic child is going to see whether or not their child has the same disorder as the child who won the case.

I wish all these parent's well. I wish their children more than that.
I am afraid now for what these children are going to have to endure for their parent's to
be okay with their Autism.
I hope this hysteria blows over quickly, for the children's sake.

MESSAGES WE SEND...

I watched a home-made video today of a little boy who is in a foreign country
receiving stem cells. His father asks him, "What are they doing to you"?
The little boy replies, "fixing me"...
The father says, "that's right".

So, this beautiful, verbal, little boy...who happens to be Autistic...is feeling "broken".

The messages sent to this child, who has been through many procedures to "fix" him is
that he is not complete.

We, as parent's, need to be very careful of the messages we send to our children.
Children are very smart and no matter what, we need them to know that they are
not broken, even with Autism.....

I feel very sad right now...sad for all of the children who have been made to believe
they are "broken" and need to be "fixed"....

EMBRACING AUTISM...

When Caitlin was first diagnosed with Autism, way back in 1994, my first reaction was shock. As time went by, my shock turned to sadness. I don't know why I was sad, but I felt a loss for Caitlin.

After the sadness, I realized I needed to become more knowledgeable about Autism, so off to the downtown library we went. Every Saturday morning, after breakfast, a very pregnant me, Caitlin and Patrick went to the big library...they had a larger choice of books about Autism (which was slim pickings, by the way). I read every book there was to read on Autism....scared the heck out of me.

I remember after reading the Parent's Guide to Autism...I was thrilled. It gave step-by-step instructions on how to handle your emotions with Autism.

I was up to the loss part....

Next came anger. The book stated that it would be a good idea to call everyone you know with a "normal" child and let them know that you will be distancing yourself from them for a while. You did not need to hear all of the milestones their child was going through, while your child was struggling. OK, so I got mad. I thought I had to fight for everything. I thought it was okay for me to let Caitlin run wild in the doctors office, at the mall, at the grocery store.....all because she has Autism, I could let her behavior be horrible.....

Caitlin started Early Childhood at the age of 3. Her teacher was Mary Allen. She was perfect for Caitlin. Caitlin would try to pull her crap with Mary, and Mary would not have it. Mary DID NOT let Caitlin's autism be an excuse for her bad behavior. It was through Mary Allen that I learned that Caitlin did not have bad behavior, just because she had Autism.

Once I saw what Caitlin was capable of, my anger flew out the window. I learned how amazingly smart she was. She was reading, writing and communicating through sign language and PECS before she was 4 years old. This child's brain was enormous and just because she was non-verbal, she could communicate finally. That opened a huge door for Caitlin.



Caitlin was the role model for us to use with our subsequent children. She was the one who taught us that it is okay to embrace the Autism...not hate it. Once we let Caitlin "shine" and show us the true person she was meant to be, she became calmer.

We are always commented on the good behavior of our children, out in public...at home, they are siblings who argue and bicker. They are reminded to pick up their rooms and put their dishes in the dishwasher.
Caitlin and Kiernan are allowed to stim and allowed to be their "autistic" selves.
Deirdre is a true teen-ager with all the angst that includes. She is sure we are "stupid" and she will teach us to be smarter. She has her group of friends and loves the church and her church family.
Erin, Patrick and Meaghan always have friends over and on Saturday, I had 12 children in my home for a play date. Their friends are not on the spectrum, yet consider my children peers and never judge them for their differences. They help them when needed. My children have great friends.

I am NOT saying that you should not help your child with Autism, we work very hard with Speech, OT, PT, Play Therapy, Sensory Integration Therapy, Recreational Therapy, Music Therapy and Massage Therapy. We want our children to be able to go out into society and have the skills they need to succeed. They are working very hard at this.

My final step, in learning to help my child(ren) with Autism was to learn to Embrace the Autism itself. My children were put here for me to be their mother for a reason. I have learned that they are each an individual first and I needed to learn how to nurture their individual needs.
God gave me these amazing children and with the children came Autism. I could "hate" the Autism, but in turn, I would not be the best mother I could be. Instead, I "embrace" the autism and with that I embrace the children that were meant to be.....SUPERB!

A HELPING HAND...

Caitlin, our 17 year old, and myself were sitting in the dentist's office on Tuesday
morning. Caitlin was waiting patiently to have her teeth cleaned and one filling.
I had my notepad and was taking notes about all of my children's improvements
and also, what they need to improve on.
Caitlin was reading my notes and she suddenly blurts out..."I HAVE AUTISM".
I said, "yes, you do".
She shook her head up and down.
I asked her if she was okay with that...??
She said, "yes".

When Caitlin transitioned from Early Intervention to Elementary School and
an Early Childhood program, we had no idea what to ask for or even what to
do. Alot of educators had no idea what to do with an Autistic child in 1994, much
less the parent's.

Our first ARD (Admission, Review and Dismissal) was an eye-opener in what
we could ask for and/or what we could get the school system to agree with in the
education of our amazingly gifted daughter.
Fortunately for us and Caitlin, it did not take them very long to figure out that
just because she was not verbal, she was smarter than most of the people in
these ARD's...which they quickly agreed.

As Caitlin grew up and progressed, the more ARD's we had to attend. Now,
we attend up to 12 ARD's a year.
This year we have a transition ARD for our 5th grader going into Middle School.
That one will be a piece of cake.

On Friday, I was approached by a mother of a child who will also be transitioning
into the same Middle School as Erin.....this mother seems nervous about her son
attending Middle School. It is quite a shocker to go to the Middle School...so intimidating
because it is so much bigger.

Summitt Elementary, where our children are in the 5th grade, is a nurturing and loving
environment. Sometimes, Middle School is not.

Fortunately, I love the Middle School our children attend. The faculty and staff saw
the greatness in both of my older children who have attended there. They speak
highly of our children.

I asked this mother, who is not so sure of her transition ARD, if she would like me
to attend with her. She said, "are you sure"? "aren't you very busy"?
Never too busy to help another parent...isn't that what it is all about?

Is it not our duty as parent's with children with autism to reach out and help those
parent's who come after us....????
To support and help them?

My friends are sometimes amazed that I will hand out my phone number and email address
to people who approach me in public. People who just want someone to help them or just
to listen to them about their child with Autism.
I must get 10 to 20 calls a week from parent's who have a child with Autism and just
want someone to listen who has been there.

There is alot of anger out in the world of Autism.
Parent's angry that they have a child with Autism.
Parent's angry at other parent's for trivial things such as diet and
other interventions.
Parent's angry at their spouses for not "helping" enough.
Parent's angry at their friends for not understanding the complications
there are to raising a child with Autism.

I stepped away from the anger a while ago....it was not a good place
to be. I stopped being angry at the Autism and decided to focus on
the good that my children possess....man, do they possess alot of good.

I am often asked, "how do you do it"?
My answer, "I just do".
My children did not ask to be born. I chose to have every one of these
wonderful people. It is my job, as their mother, to make sure they succeed
and are accepted in this world.
I am very lucky, they are great kids.
I have been far more blessed to be in their presence and I know other's feel
the same when they meet my children.

TRUSERA

I am so excited, I am almost speechless......ALMOST!

I have been invited to be a featured blogger on a new website.
It is http://www.trusera.com/.

Autism Diva was instrumental in getting me involved with this up-and-coming
company out of Seattle, WA. Thanks Diva....these people are amazing and
the blogs on this website are inspiring beyond words. The blogs you find are
written by persons who are positively writing about their trials and triumphs
with all kinds of diseases and disorders. You will be uplifted by the spirits of these
bloggers.

Please check out the site....if you want to join...let me know. I will send you
out an invite.

SUBJECT: Help Create Community for Autism

Come pioneer a new and better way for people to communicate online within the autism spectrum community. Become a charter member of Trusera, a free invitation-only network that's connecting people seeking real-world health information to others who've "been there."

Right now invitations are available only to a select group of people to join and share their valuable experience-driven knowledge on Trusera. It’d be great if you would join, too.

Come inspire others and help create a credible, relevant online resource for the autism spectrum community. Join Trusera now.

LOVING JIM CARREY....

Okay, so I said some not so nice things about Jenny McCarthy. I felt the wording she
used to describe Autism were not what I would call "appropriate".
I know, I know...I have alot to learn sometimes about letting people have
their own feelings. It took me many years to be comfortable with Autism. We
worked very hard with our children, trying to figure out the best way to make
them happy, healthy, and just to be the best they could be.
Today, on Oprah, Oprah asked Jim Carrey how Evan was (Jenny McCarthy's son and
Jim Carrey's signifigant other)....at the end of the
conversation, Jim Carrey told Oprah he believed Autistic children are "here for
a reason"!

How very true that is.

I know why my children with Autism are here....they are here to teach me
unconditional love, patience, and kindness. They are teaching me to be non-
judgemental.

I had an aha! moment today.
I went to a MySpace page of another mother with an Autistic child. This beautiful
mother and I don't always see eye-to-eye, but man, I like her alot. She is young
and doing what we all should be doing...the best we know how to do.
Her quote on her MySpace is "Be kinder than necessary, you never know what someone else is going through"....

I lost my footing a few times in the past month....I let someone put me somewhere I
did not want to be. Shame on me for letting this person take control of my emotions, if
not for just a fleeting moment.
That will not happen again on my blog.
My blog is my place to share my feelings about my family...it will be that way from
now on.

Thank you to all who have defended me....I will remember that.
Thanks to those who have corrected me...I will take into consideration all comments.

My family has been so blessed in the past few years. We have been given opportunities
that we never could have afforded. I must remember that my children need a happy,
healthy mother. They have a reason to be here, and I am happy to be there for them.

A GREATER CALLING...

Ever since I was a little girl, I always knew that I was going to be involved

in something bigger than myself.

As I was approaching 30, I was pregnant and unaware of what sort of mother

I was going to be. I have a great mother and she was always there as I was growing

up. My dad was a wonderful father and I always knew that I was loved. That I

knew was going to be passed on to my children.

As Caitlin grew, and we faced new challenges with her Autism, I never questioned

the reason for her existence. I just knew I had to be her warrior and her savior when


it came to getting her the services she deserved. We did not have to fight often, and

when we did, we came out ahead.

Our family continued to grow and with that came additional challenges. My husband

and myself never questioned why the children were Autistic, in fact, Autism was not

a big "issue" in our home. What we focused on was the fact that we had children to raise.

We took our children to restaurants, grocery stores, concerts, parks, Chuck E. Cheese,

bowling, skating, etc. We expected our children to behave in public. We were complemented

on our children's behaviors. We expected and still expect our children to behave.

Autism is not an excuse for bad behaviors. It is an excuse not to parent.

Today, I brought 2 of the kids to school late. We had dentist appointments. I was checking

in our office at school and the office administrator said to me, "I saw you on the news the other

night"..."you really do speak eloquently". I said, "Well, it is about time somebody noticed that".

She then told me that she believed that I will go far. She told me that I have a spark about

me that people listen to....she had me speechless.....which is hard to do.

I have spent the last year speaking at state conferences, local conferences, Autism workshops and I was even the MC at the Teacher Talent Show at school. I plan on continuing my

speaking engagements and telling the story of my family. There are many parent's out there

that are stumped on how to raise their children with Autism.

When asked, "how do you do it"?

I have one answer, "I never thought about it". I knew that I have given birth and these

children did not ask to be here. But, it is my responsibility to make sure that they do the

very best they can while I am here. I am to make sure they are treated the same when I

am no longer here.

I made a promise to each of my children when they were born that they could be whatever

they wanted to be. Instead of listening to people telling me what they cannot do, I taught the

children to show everyone what they could do.

Now, we have children in 10th grade honor roll, 8th grade honor roll, and 5th grade honor roll.

We have children who can sit quietly and behave in situations where it was once impossible for

them to accomplish this task. Through much hard work and effort on their parts, their teacher's

parts and parenting skills my husband and I have learned through the years, our children have

become role models in their community and their schools.

2008 has already proven to be a very busy year for us. I have been asked to be involved in alot

of new endeavors. Some I can talk about, some I cannot. I am excited and thrilled to be

involved in the Autism Community. I am honored beyond words that I can help promote

Autism in a positive light and we will begin our journey to take Autism away from the "gloom

and doom" category.

I will continue to blog here and I have been asked to take part of a new website:

www.trusera.com. I will have a blog there also about raising children with Autism. I am

excited beyond words.

Thanks to Diva for recommending me....I really do appreciate that.

WHAT MATTERS MOST....

Today, I spent 3 hours with a lovely reporter and cameraman at my house. Our show aired on ABC almost 1 year ago this week.
We talked about the changes that have come about since we received our home. We talked about how the kids have adjusted to the new home...wonderfully, by the way.
We talked about how this has literally changed our lives.
You have no idea, I said.

I went into detail about all of the outpouring of love and support we received since we received this home. All of the people who approach me and my husband in grocery stores, restaurants and malls to tell us how we "deserved" this home....we don't think that at all, by the way.
I also spoke about the way we are so grateful to the thousands of people and volunteers who gave up a week before Christmas to help our family get the best gift ever.

We have acquired many new friends through the Extreme Makeover journey. This past week, I was ridiculed, slurred, and called horrible names by people who have no idea who I am or anything about us. People who do not like me tried to make me feel as miserable as they are...TRIED TO....
But, it did not work.

I am proud to say that after 47 years of life, I have never been more secure or assure of myself. I am sorry that bothers some, but it is the truth. All I have to do is look around at my children and know that all of our hard work has paid off.
You see, even though these Anonymouses think that we do nothing for our children, they are dead wrong. We work very hard to make sure they are strong and have great character. That is important in this world.
We also make sure that our children have a network of people around them that love them and respect them.

I am so lucky to have the same people around me that have been in my life for many years. I have the pure luck of having friends from elementary school still in my life. Some of these people are like sisters to me (hello Vicki)....
I am very lucky to have the people who educate my children to love them like their own ( hello Mary).
I am lucky to have family members who are there for me when I need them.

People who know our family know that we are good people. They know we get by with alot of love and a whole lot more humor. They know that we adore our children and our children are loved and well cared for...anyone else out there in "cyberville" who does not know us personally and base their assumptions on what they see on television or read in a newspaper are sorely misguided in their ideas of what our family is really like.

I have spoken at a few conferences and have traveled out-of-state to meet with parent's with children with Autism. I have met many children and young adults with Autism....my heart holds a special place for every one of them.
I work at Sensory Integration Workshops with parent's, children, educators and families who are in some way connected with Autism. This has filled my life with much joy.

So, each night, as I tuck each of my children to bed, I know that they are being cared for and loved the best they can be. I know these children have been put on this Earth for a reason and I will make sure they can achieve all that they are meant to achieve.
They are my life. They are the reason I was put on this Earth and really,
That is WHAT MATTERS MOST.

http://www.kvue.com/video/local-index.html?nvid=216934

DUMB MEET DUMBER...

This is what I found in the comments on another blog site....
You can guess the blog, I won't promote it...

Dumb, meet Dumber..

dgdavis said...
Hi John,I just wanted to thank you for sticking up for me on the "Surviving my crazy Lies, oops I mean Life blog. Someone sent me a PM and I have to say it was quite funny! What was really humorous was that Elizabeth N. Kirby AKA Roo2/Winnie would post an address there that she thinks is mine.Only she forgets that I'm not hiding from anyone. I don't have a reason to conceal who I am. All she had to do was ask if she wanted to know. It's 713 Kendall Dr. Vestavia Hills, AL 53226! Maybe I could've saved her some searching time. Hahaha!I'm so glad to see that Jeanette is ignoring me. If she wouldn't lie so much maybe someone could believe what she says. I feel sorry for her kids having a "role model" that is such a liar. tsk tsk... And Amy with all her mommy guilt, how many husbands has she had now? 5 kids and I think they all have different fathers? Oh well, maybe they'll all take their own unsolicited advice and get some help,maybe they have a liars anonymous or something similar. But they can't be very "anonymous" with all the public lying they do. All I asked was to be left alone but for some reason (moth to a flame?) they keep revealing more foolishness with every "conversation" we have. Guess that must be why they are all friends, they share that masochistic I'm a bad girl, spank mething in common. Hahaha! Thanks again John and have a good weekend!
dgdavis said...
Well John, it appears I didn't need your
support on that ugly blog after all. It seems Jeanette is getting the spanking she needed from all her "admiring fan club." LOL!Talk about a glutton for punishment. Do you think it's too late for me to get her autograph? Oh darn! And Liz Kirby, (I'm sure she's no relation to David, just one of life's odd coincidences) sadly has Jeanette beat in the "pathetic" department. If she's so "worried" about protecting her internet identity and her son, (and other 2 children) it would be very wise of her to put a lid on her intractable obsession and leave well enough alone. I won't hesitate to reveal all the information I have about her kids if she insists on persisting with this sickness of hers. It would've been so easy to just leave me alone like I asked. Maybe a call to her husband Russell would be in order at the University of AL Birmingham. He's probably not busy with all that meaningless "research" going on. Yes, we all know the "intellectually superior" type with he self-impressing CV. Yawn. "Things" must be very boring for you, we can see why you need some extra excitement. But as difficult as it may be for you, it really is possible to live your life without being such a termagant and all the "drama." It is a small world after all. Pooh Pooh. I'll thank you in advance for doing a "spell check" for me. Hahaha!And you can consider yourself "warned."
Sat Feb 09, 11:48:00 AM EST
Foresam said...
Diane,I didn't know Jeanette was planning to kill two of her kids. It doesn't sound like she's celebrating the joy of autism like a true ND nitwit.
Sat Feb 09, 01:36:00 PM EST
dgdavis said...
Yes John, Just look at this comment from Jeanette's blog:"Patrick is helping me when he gets home from work and I cannot wait for school to startnext week....I need a nap.I have nursed 5 children from the brink of death during Christmas break...okay, that isan exaggeration...just bronchitis...Boo hoo, she can't wait for school to start? Mom of the year, eh? That's right lady, just pawn your kids off on everyone else. I don't think I know anyone else who has a 40 hours per week personal aid for their child. Caitlin has one though. And instead of counting her blessings, she's complaining. And what does she mean she "needs a nap?" What's that? Is there any other parent out there who has the luxury of taking a nap? I guess we should submit her name for sainthood right?And I see someone's been busy tattling to the FA at AS. The FA must be very sick of you by now Liz.And Amy, it's not really my concern that you can't keep a man happy. But don't project your anger onto me as if I have anything to do with it.But I'd be happy to slap you a few times, I'm sure you miss that. Maybe you could get along with a piece of rubber with two big balls on the end of it. What's that called? A dildo, I think or at least a vibrator. You seem to have an odd preoccupation with how much people weigh. Maybe a workout might help you, if you don't have a man around, a treadmill works wonders for releasing natural endorphins and you may be able to finally throw all that medication away you need to get through the day. An eliptical machine is also worth every penny. But no matter how big my butt is sweetie, it'll never be bigger than your mouth.
Sat Feb 09, 03:53:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Mom26 threatened to kill two of her kids? Scary! This from the woman who condemns anyone and everyone for doing any sort intervention and thinks she is the "perfect parent!" Being most of her kids don't even sound like they are on the spectrum you've really got to wonder about this woman.
Sat Feb 09, 06:32:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
And poor Jeanette needs a nap. Don't we all! She's nothing but a lazy ass. Gets a free house and services for all of her kids (even the ones who don't sound autistic at all) is still complaining.
Sat Feb 09, 06:41:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Mom26 claims on her blog that she was at an Autism Workshop all day helping other parents. I can only imagine what her version of "help" is. She is probably telling parents that biomedical and intensive ABA are horrible and cruel and they should just accept their kids and they will grow up just fine. It is truly frightening that a person like this is out giving advice to parents who are new to autsim.
Sat Feb 09, 07:46:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Oh yes, John, mom26's threat to take out 2 of her kids & sterilize a third one was printed in the paper in Austin Tx.She wanted to prevent her daughter from producing any offspring, (they might be autistic) while she went on & had 6 of her own.If anyone needed to be sterilized, it's that stupid bitch. She got an Anon. reply to her blog regarding calling the authorities for her threats to her kids, (not to mention she gets really aggressive in her posts & that fury's gotts go somewhere) and she got all wadded up & started with "you aren't as anon. as you might think.....you're making threats.......blah...blah...""I love me life...as long as school's in session." What a fuckin' twat.
Sat Feb 09, 08:05:00 PM EST

What lovely talk from a mother of 2....no wonder she is so friggin mean.

Diane, I really do feel so sorry for you.
I hope you find the happiness you so are looking for in your life.

What have you done for Autism lately???
Oh, that's right, NOTHING.

Diane, be very careful who you sell your soul to.

BIRTHDAY WISHES....

Our oldest daughter, Caitlin, is 17 years old today.

My wish for Caitlin is that she continues to grow and mature into the
talented, amazing young woman she is destined to be. My wish is that
Caitlin will be the artist she so inspires to be.
Caitlin has told me of her desires to be a professional artist. We are
trying hard to get her dreams to become a reality. She has consistently
taken art classes at school and dreams of attending college, one day, to
pursue this dream.

17 years ago, when I gave birth to Caitlin, she filled a huge void in my life
that I never knew was there....I was filled with emotions that I never knew
were possible.
Caitlin taught me unconditional love, patience, caring, and most of all...Caitlin
taught me how to fight. Fight for her rights as a smart and talented individual.
She taught me to let people know just because she has Autism that she could
function in society both through the schools and through the community.
Caitlin showed everyone who ever doubted her that she could behave in school,
could eat in restaurants, could ride a bus, could attend concerts and field trips, could
sit in a movie theatre....all without a hitch.

Caitlin was the first child with Autism to attend Summitt Elementary. She was
their "test subject" I have been told. Because of Caitlin, other children with Autism
can now attend this elementary school.

As I sat in her annual meeting yesterday at High School (can you believe ?)....the
teacher's thanked me and my husband. They thanked us for our unwaivering ability
to insist that Caitlin attend regular ed classes. These teacher's were sceptical at first.
Yet, when Caitlin showed them "model" behaviors and wonderful grades, they all
said, "I wish all of our student's were like Caitlin".
Caitlin taught us how to parent. We are so grateful for that.
I responded back to the teacher's that Caitlin would not be anywhere near what
she is today without the many educators that have taught her and loved her. We
are thankful to them for giving her the opportunity to thrive.

No "pity parties" for Caitlin....just a big Birthday party for the remarkable young
17 year old she has become.

Happy Birthday Caitlin....

FLAMING IDIOT....

Flaming is the hostile and insulting interaction between Internet users. Flaming usually occurs in the social context of a discussion board, Internet Relay Chat (IRC) or even through e-mail. An Internet user typically generates a flame response to other posts or users posting on a site, and such a response is usually not constructive, does not clarify a discussion, and does not persuade others. Sometimes, flamers attempt to assert their authority, or establish a position of superiority over other users. Other times, a flamer is simply an individual who believes he or she carries the only valid opinion. This leads him or her to personally attack those who disagree. Occasionally, flamers wish to upset and offend other members of the forum, in which case they can be called "trolls". Most often however, flames are angry or insulting messages transmitted by people who have strong feelings about a subject.

I am being "harassed" online by a FLAMING IDIOT....
I will not reveal the place this is happening or the pathetic being doing this.
I just want to make a point.

When you go on a message board, it is generally to gather or reveal information.
That is all I ever wanted to do when I post on Autism Message Forum Boards...any
of them.

As of recently, a person, who is obviously unhappy with her menial little life has
chosen to harass me by provoking flame wars on a particular message board on
a well-known website.

I have chosen my blog to step up and say that I have chosen not to address this
person on that board, because frankly, I am BORED with this person.
I wish she will get the help she so desperately needs. First and foremost, for
her children...next, for her family, and last for herself.
I also hope she finds a dictionary...it is spelled DEFINITELY....see no A....

When I chose to go public with my amazing family, I was warned about being ridiculed
and having my family put into positions of being made fun of.
We chose to go forward in an effort to show families with children with Autism that
it is not all "GLOOM AND DOOM", but can be a very positive experience for every person
that is involved with your children.
We have had death threats, our mailbox blown up, hateful letters, hateful phone calls
and emails.
But all of this was worth the thousands of well-wishes and love sent to us from people
whom we have never met and never will.

No one can shut me up or shut me out. I just WILL NOT take a part of something that
reminds me of dealing with a "childhood bully".....GROW UP ALREADY....

Get up away from your computer. Go outside and get some fresh air...

Better yet...GET A THERAPIST!!!!!

STRAIT TO THE POINT....

You will get the title in a minute...

This is a new year...2008...Little Patrick just turned 8 years old, a little boy who was
given a 10% chance of survival the first 3 months in my womb....he was born a wopping
9 lbs 4 oz...
Meaghan will be 10 this year..double digits is a big deal for her. She is the best sister a
kid could ask for and she is the biggest Diva I have ever met. With the loss of Boey last week,
I cherish all my kids even more.
Caitlin will be 17 next month..I cannot even imagine this. I still remember her being born.
She was stunningly beautiful and has remained that way. She has recently gone through a
transition that blows me out of the water. Caitlin is missing her old friends and cherishing
her new ones. She is attaching to people, even though doctors and specialists told us she
would never do so.
Erin is 11 now and making more friends than ever.
Deirdre is as social as any other 13 year old who thinks her mother is as "dumb as a stump".
I like Deirdre...she is funny. She brings me back down to reality, so to speak.
Then there is Kiernan....he is running me ragged. He is keeping me up on my toes and
to the point of exhaustion. But, I know this is a phase. I went through this with Caitlin,
Erin, and Patrick.
Patrick is helping me when he gets home from work and I cannot wait for school to start
next week....I need a nap.
I have nursed 5 children from the brink of death during Christmas break...okay, that is
an exaggeration...just bronchitis...

Now, MY POINT.....

My favorite singer in the world, the great GEORGE STRAIT, is performing live...in the
round...at the Irwin Center in Austin this week.....and guess what???
I am attending. I am thrilled beyond words.
The tickets were a gift from someone who knows how precious George is to me.
I thank them for that.
George got me through college, NYC, and the rest of my existence.
He makes me smile when I hear him sing.
My daughter Deirdre asked me if I know the words to all of his songs.....
Undeniably YES....without a doubt..every last solitary song.

So, with all the hubbub of Autism...with all the bickering going on the
Autism forums....with all the name-calling, back-stabbing, bologna that
occurs in the world of Autism....I get out a George Strait CD and I am in
my own little happy world.

I don't have time for the squabbling, I have children to raise.
I do not need to out do, out shine, out -bicker, or out Hate anyone.

I wish everyone well in their endeavors to find peace with whatever they
call "Autism"....I know what it is in our home....you need to decide what it is
in yours....

Jeanette

IN MEMORY OF BOEY....

On Thursday, our son turned 8 years old. 8 is an amazing age....you think that
your child's life will never end.
Today, I found out that our friend, Janessa "Boey" Byers, an amazing little
girl, passed away. She was also 8 years old.
Boey was lovingly known as the "Cancer Warrior"...she was battling a rare
form of childhood cancer. She went into remission once, and we were praying
for the same results again. Instead, her body gave in and after receiving brain
surgery, she passed away from pneumonia on Friday 12/28/2007.
I cannot imagine how horrible Rachel, Rob and the two boys feel.

This family, the Byer's family, received the Extreme Makeover House in July.
Their show was aired in October. They are from Corvallis, OR.
When Boey was diagnosed in 2006, this little girl took cancer by the horns and
did not just lay around and do nothing....no, she fought back and even has a Childhood
Cancer Bill waiting to be signed in DC.

Please everyone, say a prayer for this amazing family tonight. They will need all
the stregnth they can to get through this. One of Boey's brother's has Asperger's and
is probably having a tough time with this...as is the rest of the family.

Rachel and Rob, please know that you guys are in our prayers.

I know Boey was an Angel in life....I am for sure she is one in death.

Love,
Jeanette

http://www.gazettetimes.com/articles/2007/12/29/news/top_story/2aaa01_boey.txt

THE FACE OF 8.....

Our oldest son turns 8 today...HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATRICK....

Patrick has come so far in his 8 young years. At the age of 18 months, he was

diagnosed with Autism. By the time he was 6 years old, he was indistinguishable

from his peers.

No, we did not use any magic "potions"

Patrick was born 2 days past his due date...he was induced because he was getting

so big. He was 9 lbs 4 oz. at birth.

I was so proud to give birth to my first born son.

As he started reaching his milestones, I noticed that there were things he could not

do. He cried alot, from birth. He played with objects, not toys.

Being that Patrick was our 5th born and we had already had 2 other children

diagnosed with Autism, we felt we were on the "road to Autism" yet again.

I was already pregnant with Kiernan by this time...

We immediately brought in an Early Intervention team of Physical, Occupational, Play and Speech Therapists. So, from the young age of 12 months to 3 years...school age....Patrick

had intensive therapies. He was seen daily by these wonderful therapists. 4 hours each

day.

By the time Patrick was 2, I enrolled him in the local churches Mom's Day Out..He attended

with an aide. Patrick needed the peer interactions and was thriving around kids his own age.

At 3 years old, he began the Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities at our local

elementary school. Since then, Patrick has become inundated with the finest teacher's at

that school.

He has been loved and nurtured. He has been treated as an equal, if not as a role model.

You see, this young man has never, ever had any behavioral problems at school. He is the

epitamy of what a "good" student should be.

His teacher now is Mrs. Mary Hutka....she adores him and we adore her.

Mary Hutka is what every teacher should be...attentive, loving, and firm

when these little buggers need it.

Patrick is one of her "star" students....never a card change....NEVER.

Little Patrick was once labeled "the worse case of Autism they have ever seen" to

being the "indistinguishable from his peers".

If you are around Patrick for a small amount of time, you will begin to notice

some of his "autistic" tendencies.....his inability to tolerate anything wet and cold

on him..that is a problem with fingerpainting.

His shower issues...not water on his head...that is a problem with hairwashing.

The way he says his s, sh, th, f and p sounds....he is doing great in speech, but has

a long way to go.

Patrick DOES NOT have the Autism label at school. He never needed the label.

He does have the label with the neurologist, pediatricians and outside therapies.

At school, Patrick is just another student.....

At home, he is the best son a mother and father could ask for.

WE love you Patrick and HAPPY BIRTHDAY.....

JUST BRING THE MIRACLE BACK...

I just went up to have a discussion with our oldest daughter, Caitlin.
Caitlin is a severely autistic 16-year old girl. Lately, she has become extremely
philosophical.

Tonight she said, "Jane, she died one year ago Christmas"..
"Yes", I said.
Caitlin replied, "this Christmas WE BRING THE MIRACLE BACK".
I replied," Jane is not coming back"...
Caitlin said, "OOHHH"....

You see, Jane was a dear friend of mine...and Caitlin loved her.
Jane died of lung cancer on Christmas Day last year.
Jane was so happy that she was alive to see our new home...she was the
first person I let see it.
She whispered in my ear, "I held on for you Jeanette"....and I knew that.

I miss her greatly...what makes me more proud is that I had a friend so
wonderfully great, that my daughter misses her too.....

Jane would be so proud of Caitlin....

I guess we did get our MIRACLE back after all.....


Thanks Jane..and WE miss you alot...

Jeanette

IN DEIRDRE'S WORDS....

While going through some old files, on the computer that was in our old house, I came across this story Deirdre wrote in 2006. Remember, as you read this, Deirdre is 13 and has Asperger's. I have Deirdre's permission to share this story with you...
She was 12 when this was written...

I am the second oldest of six children. Four of my siblings have some form of Autism. With so much activity in our home, I have to overcome many obstacles.
Autism has always been in our home, since the day I was born. In our home, Autism is the normal. I have learned to understand the many different behaviors that come with Autism. We do not have a boring home. We have a home full of love and acceptance.
I have always felt accepting of my brothers and sisters. Each of them are unique and interesting individuals. Two of my siblings are severely autistic and do not fully understand the concept of my space. I have a hard time with that. I like my alone time and they do not understand that.
Two of my siblings are mildly autistic. They are equivalent to annoying 2-year-old children. I do not have much patience with them, but I do try hard. Sometimes, I get very annoyed with them when they feel the need to get into my personal body space.
Our home is a happy home. My mother and father are loving and care very much for each of us. We feel safe and secure. We know that each morning they will be there when we wake up. We also know they will be there each night to tuck us into bed. I feel very lucky to have such a large, loving family.
In our large family, alone time is very hard to come by. I have to sneak away into my sisters room to find alone time. I can lock the door and no one can bother me. I find time to be alone and listen to my music and go on the computer. I find time to do my homework. This is time I really need to gather my thoughts.
I get some activities that are all mine. I have choir, orchestra, and my Confirmation classes. This is the time that I get to spend on me. My family gets to see me when I have concerts. They seem to be very proud of my accomplishments.
The only changes I have to make is the ability to be able to find my time alone. I think I have managed to do this most of the time. I do not expect that will be a common occurrence in our home, but I do the best I can.
My Mom and Dad try to keep our home as "normal" as possible. They work very hard to make our family as typical as it can be. Autism in a home can be disruptive. I have never felt that, because it has always been what is around me. I would not know any different.
Last year, I found myself failing math. I was very upset. I struggled with the problems. My mother and father discussed, with my math teacher, and decided that I would stay in the program. I worked very hard and finished the year with a low B average. I remember feeling so proud that I could take an F and make a B. I knew I was capable and I proved it.
The first report card of this year was all A's. I have proven to myself and to my family that it is possible to overcome the obstacles of our home to make good grades. I hope to continue to make higher grades. I love to learn. I am hoping to learn so much more.
I do not know if I would change anything. I do not know how my life would be if I did not have Autism in my family. I would assume our home would not be much different. I imagine my parent's would treat us all the same no matter if we had Autism or not.
Since this has always been a part of my life, I do not know how I would be if all of my siblings were what is considered normal. I do not know if I would change them if that was possible. My sisters and brothers are all unique in their own way. They each bring a special quality to our home. I hope that I can say the same about me.
I try to include my siblings in everything I do. I try to bring them into conversations, play and everyday life. I hope that I have made an impact in their lives and they can depend on me for important occurrences in their lives. I hope they know that no matter what, I will be there for them.
My parent's have raised all of us to know that they will always be there no matter what. They have taught each of us that we are individuals and we are to always do our best. My parent's have made each of their children know they can achieve anything we want to achieve.
I hope to continue and grow and overcome all of the obstacles that occur in my life. I know with what I have faced so far, I should not have any trouble with this goal. I know, through living and growing up in my home, that all I will want to do in my life is possible.
Deirdre O'Donnell

I read this this for the first time, as I was typing it for the blog.....
I am speechless...and that does not happen very often.

CHAPTER ONE.....

Caitlin will be 17 years old in February of 2008. She was diagnosed with Autism in August of 1993. She was 2 1/2 years old. So, I have been the parent of an Autistic child for almost 17 years.
I knew, from birth, that Caitlin was going to need extra care. I saw it in her eyes.
She screamed from the moment she was born, until she was about 5 months old. Then, the screaming stopped......overnight.
I was a new mom at the ripe old age of 30. I still had no idea how to deal with a baby. I was clueless. Caitlin taught me alot....patience, love, and most of all understanding.
When she was around 10 months old, we moved from NYC to my home town of Austin, Tx. It was a big move for all 3 of us. During this time, I began to notice that Caitlin did not try to talk or communicate with us. I brought this up to the pediatrician we had found in Georgetown, Tx....recommended by my sister.
At 15 months, we questioned the doctor AGAIN about Caitlin's lack of words. The pediatrician told us that we were "DOING TOO MUCH FOR HER, MAKE HER ASK FOR THINGS"....Are you kidding me????
When I got home that day, I reached for our phone book. On the back cover was an ad for a doctors referral. I called the number and was referred to a new pediatrician. I called, he took our insurance, so I made an appointment.
At the age of 18 months, this new, young, very intune doctor said, "I AM CONCERNED THAT YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOT TALKING......" Bingo. We had found our doctor.
We were referred to a neurologist (whom we saw yesterday....15 years we have been going to him), a speech therapist, a physical therapist and a behavior therapist.
The neurologist told us, "I believe your daughter has Autism"....WHOA....!!!!!
I had dealt with Autism as a teenager while babysitting. I had worked with young autistic teens in college at a residential treatment center....I said to this doctor, "Do you mean she is retarded?"....The neurologist looked at me and said (in a very stern voice)..."I did not say that, I said your child is possibly Autistic".
I was in a fog for the rest of the day.

I then made it my mission to read every book there was to read on Autism. My husband, Caitlin and myself went to the big "downtown" library every Saturday. Remember, this was 1993, there were not that many books on Autism.
We did not have a computer, and for that, I am grateful. I did not have the ability to "Google" autism and receive false hope and promises.
Instead, I was given the only ability I had...to parent a child who happened to be given a diagnosis of Autism.

Caitlin has taught me that her diagnosis does not take away from the fact that we have to be parent's to her. We did not allow her to throw fits in restaurants and stores....we removed her and took her home. She had many temper tantrums at that age. She smeared her poop and other things all over her room. She would take out every piece of clothing, from her drawers, and throw them all over the room.
I remember waking up one morning. While walking down the hallway, I smelled the sickly smell of something really sweet. As I opened Caitlin's bedroom door, I witnessed birthday cake smeared from one side of her room to the other. It took me over 8 hours to clean that room that day.....I was not happy.

As Caitlin started public school, there were no options but inclusion. I am so happy about that now, but then, it scared me. How can this non-verbal, unfocused child sit with "normal" children?
It is possible with the help of amazing educators and therapists. It can be done with the acceptance of the parent's of these NT children....which through the years I have noticed that most of these children are far from "normal".
From Kindergarten on up, Caitlin has been loved and nurtured by her classmates. There is the occasional bully, but bullies are few and far between. I have taught all of my children to ignore those that make it a point to try to demean others. Most bullies will leave you alone if you do not add "fuel to their fire", so to speak.

Fast forward to 2007...Caitlin is a well-adjusted, almost 17 year old young woman. She makes straight A's in school. She still requires an attendant and Speech and Occupational Therapies. She still requires assistance at home through Recreational Therapy....
If you would have told me 14 1/2 years ago, on the day she received the diagnosis of Autism, that she would be the amazing person she is today, I would have thought you were out of your mind.

Please know, Caitlin's story is not over....it is just beginning. She has so much further to go in life. She has so much to share and I will help her to do this.

THANKSGIVING 2007...

Wow, what a difference a year makes.

Last year, at this time, we lived in a 2200 square foot home, full of mold and a cracked foundation.

This year, we have been blessed with a 4600 square foot home.....much more space.

We do not take anything that has been given to us for granted. I pray every day and thank the Lord for our blessings.

But, mostly, I thank the Lord for the blessings that are in the picture.

I thank God for Caitlin, Deirdre, Erin, Meaghan, Patrick, Kiernan and little Patrick.

Today, our home will be filled with family and friends. The people who love us with all of our quirks and special gifts. They do not enter our home and find a big old "pity party". They find children playing and laughing.

Isn't that alot to be Thankful for???

Today is a day with turkey, dressing, potatoes, rolls, gravy, cranberry sauce, pies, cakes, green beans, salads, etc....all gluten-filled and homemade with LOVE.

The Austin American Statesman has printed a story about us today...if you want...you can read it here http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/11/22/1122autism.html.

Wishing all of you a very safe and HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

ON MY HONOR.....

I gave birth to this beautiful little boy on 12/27/99.....he was my first born son and stole my heart.

He was diagnosed with severe autism on 3/20/02....the worst case they have ever seen.

With much love from his family, his teachers, his therapists and our amazing friends...this little boy is the model of a well-behaved child. He has straight A's..fully inclusioned with no more than a speech delay on his IEP... He does not even qualify for Special Education....Oh, and all without any biomedical interventions OF ANY KIND.....

I do not need to say any more...Just look.....

ACCEPTANCE...

I have been trying for a while to understand why it is so damn difficult for Society to accept our Autistic Children. I have insisted upon inclusion for my children, with much success, because I believe if you alienate an Autistic child in a specialized "autistic" program...not only will that child continue their behaviors, they will pick up the behaviors of others. I believe if a child with Autism is included with the "normal" child in a traditional educational setting, they will pick up socially appropriate behaviors....I have proof it works. Since Ms. McCarthy and Dr. Kartzinel have decided to tout Autism and Autistic children as less than what is acceptable to not only their own parent's but the doctors that treat them...namely DAN! doctors....then how can we expect anyone else out there to respect our children. I have made this my mission, for the past 16 years, to let our children be inclusioned in their educational and community settings. It has taken me many years to get where we are as a family in our community. It has taken one very irresponsible "actress" and a "doctor" who will make a butt-load of money to bring down ACCEPTANCE a notch..... I have written every news station, every talk show, every major television station, every news program and pleaded with them to show Autism at its finest.....less the doom and gloom....less the drama of head-banging, screaming, temper tantrum, bloated belly, mercury induced hysteria...... I have pleaded with them to show the beauty of our amazing, gifted, talented, funny, beautiful children and young adults with Autism...... Guess what????? Not one response.... Are you surprised????

Message to Dr. Jerry Kartzinel...

Dr Kartzinel,

You wrote in Jenny McCarthy's book...."Autism, as I see it, steals the soul from a child; then, if allowed, relentelessly sucks life's marrow out of the family members, one by one."

You, sir, owe each of these wonderful, amazing, gifted, talented, lovable, loving, soulful children an apology.

These children DO NOT realize there are people out in the world, such as yourself, who do not feel they are of any value....how sad for your own child that your own wife would state, "YOU BROKE HIM, now you fix him!"....

My children are not broken, they are whole, peaceful, non-violent, non-headbanging, non-meltdown children. These children with Autism can sit in a classroom and focus and maintain honor roll grade averages without the interventions you make so much money from.

I do not believe you or Ms. McCarthy understands the ramifications you have created with the injustices you speak about our Autistic children. Now, millions of people who were not sure of what Autism entails have a distorted view of Autism because of you and Ms. McCarthy's insensitive wording.

SHAME ON BOTH OF YOU !!!!

MAKES ME HAPPY....

Kiernan, our 6-year-old ball of energy was bouncing on a ball this evening. I must describe how he bounces on this ball.....it is an exercise ball..he falls back on it and bounces, then he bounces forward. Now, he does this over and over...he does not miss a beat. This activity defies gravity, but Kiernan does it without a hitch. While doing this, Kiernan buzzes like a little bee. He loves doing this. Our 9-year-old, Meaghan, looks at me and says, "Now, doesn't that just make you Happy?".... Indeed it does Meaghan....INDEED IT DOES !!!!!

RIGHT ON TARGET...

I was out shopping today at Caitlin's favorite store...Target. I was buying last minute items for school. Caitlin's shoes...which she is so picky about, Meaghan's undies, and socks for the boys.
We were recognized a handful of times by some other shoppers. They congratulated us on our new home and told us how beautiful our children are.
Upon checking out, I noticed a tall young man in front of me. He wanted a soda. The young lady with him told him he had enough sugar for the day and could have water. He shook his head up and down in agreement.
This young woman then asked the young man to move forward so I could put my items on the belt. He obliged. He then started to smile, then giggle, then flap his hands in front of his face....
Ah...AUTISM.

I asked the young lady how old he was. She told me 16. I asked what grade...she told me 10th...
Exactly like Caitlin.
I turned around and Caitlin was giggling and flapping her hands in a very similar way as the young man.

When we were leaving the store, Deirdre asked me if the young man I was speaking with was autistic. I told her yes. She said, "I thought so, because he acted alot like Caitlin".

It pleases me to see these young adults out in public. Not wearing their pants so low that you can see their butts...not yelling obscenities at each other....not needing to defy authority in any way, shape or form....
Just young people happy to be at one of their favorite stores...lightly buzzing and flapping their hands. Two 16 -year old teens behaving and waiting their turns until they will be rewarded with a cold drink.

I realize people want more for their children. I do too. I expect all of my children to attend college. They do not have to attend Yale, but Harvard would be nice.
I expect them all to contribute to society in whatever they are capable of doing. I would expect this if they were not autistic...so this label does not stop me from wanting the same results from them.

School starts Monday...
Caitlin-10th grade
Deirdre-8th grade
Erin-5th grade
Meaghan-4th grade
Patrick-2nd grade and
Kiernan-1st grade.

These children will be expected to remain on the honor roll, have great behaviors at school and continue their extracurricular activities.

So far, we are RIGHT ON TARGET.....

EXTREME MAKEOVER HOME EDITION...The Update...

Tonight at 7pm Central time, they will be reairing our Extreme Makeover Home Edition episode. When it originally aired in February, we had 75 people here with us....the builder and his wife, teacher's, therapist, the local ABC station, neighbor's and many friends. Also, my mother.
I have been thinking all day about how my family's life has changed so much from the door-knock day on December 10, 2006.

1. We have an amazing new house and furnishings. We were blessed to have been given Jimmy Jacobs as our home builder. He put so much love into the building of this house. He is a man of great faith, and it is impermeated in our home.
2. We have less debt. Not debt-free by any means, but much less debt.
3. We have great new people in our lives. This is good for our family. You see, we don't have many family members involved with our family. My sister is overcome with her own life...we had a falling out a couple of years ago. Long story...no need to bring it up right now.
My brother comes over for holidays..that is probably a good thing. My mother is great, but she is 70 and can only handle so much.
Patrick's family has never been in the picture since his Daddy died in 1997....that was his lifeline to his family.
We have made our family. This includes many people who were "hand-picked" so to speak. These are people we have met through fate that we have invited to be in our family. Lucky for us, they have obliged us with their amazing presence. These are all kinds of personalities. These are people who bring light and joy into our home.....that is what we needed.
4. We have been exposed, so to speak, to other's who seek our advice on parenting. I love the limelight....my husband does not. He gives me the microphone....I take it willingly.
5. Our children have become a year older, and with that they are showing us amazing gains in their personalities and their lives. They are more confident with their peers and happier than they have ever been. Kiernan has decided that "more, Mama" needs to be his only Phrase right now...it gets him what he wants.

There is absolutely no way we could ever thank everyone involved with our Extreme Makeover. From the first set of producers..Quintin and JD...to the second...Andy...to the third...Herb...to the fourth...Mark. From the amazing design team of Ty, Tanya, Paulie, Eduardo and Paige. From all of the many, and I mean many, behind the scenes producers and directors, gaffer, gofers, caterers, lighting, makeup, etc people who gave up the week before Christmas to make our home.
To the people who put up our Christmas tree and Christmas lights so we could have Christmas.
To the many restaurants who donated gift cards and year long meals....extremely grateful from this mother of 6.

What you will see, or have seen is 45 minutes of a miracle...but in reality it has lasted all year long. You will see the things that were chosen to be on television. You will not see the many hours we spent with ski instructors in Crested Butte, Co. You will not see the way my children were skiing on the first day in Colorado. Note: my children were skiing..not their mother.
You will not see the over 1000 persons who labored night and day for 106 hours to get a house built for a family they did not know. We have since received a behind-the-scenes documentary about the build of our home. The interviewed many of the people who worked on our house. These people were a gift to us.

To this day, I get stopped at least once a day and told that we have an amazing family.
I knew this all along...
Now I am happy to share it with everyone else.....AGAIN.

PLAYING FAVORITES...

I have been going to the same grocery store for 11 years now, since their Grand Opening 11 summers ago...

At check out the other day, Lucy, one of my favorite checkers asked me if I had a favorite child....she has never had a child, so does not know the bond of a mother and her children...

I answered, " Lucy, picking a favorite child would be like picking my favorite George Strait song....cannot be done"...

Let's see,

Amarillo by Morning, The Fireman, Baby Blue, Check Yes or No, The Chair, Pure Country, Texas Cookin'....man, I just cannot decide. I love them all the same. Each song has a special place in my brain for the first time I ever heard it.


I would probably pick Amarillo by Morning, because that was the first song I ever heard George sing live....


We could go hear him sing for $1.00 per person. Free beer for ladies. Not good beer, but FREE beer....means alot to a college student.

George was humble even back then. He would pose for pictures and sign autographs. The bigger he became, the greater his talent became.

I thank George for alot of memories. Some good, some not so good. But memories I have thanks to George.

Now, back to my children.....

Caitlin..first-born. She taught me how hard it was to be a Mommy..I thank her for that. She paved the way for the rest. She taught me that I do not need to "cure" her, but to teach her to be a person who will succeed in society....she is doing Great.

Deirdre...second-born. This child has NEVER given us a moment of trouble. She has been calm and sweet from the day she was born. She is smarter than any human I have ever met.....she makes me so happy.

Erin...third-born. She made me wake up again with Autism. She was loud from birth, but has blossomed into a sweet and thoughtful little girl. She is loved by all who she comes in contact with. A sweeter soul I have never met.

Meaghan...fourth-born. This child is a red-headed firecracker. She keeps me on my toes and I love it. Ask me again when she is a teen-ager.....hopefully, she will keep me young.

Patrick....fifth-born, first son. No one touches a mother's heart like a son. He grabbed my heart at birth and has not let go. I feel badly for the woman he brings home to marry....let's just say, it won't be pretty....

and Kiernan...sixth-born, last child. This little man will always be my baby. He is gentle of soul, but one non-stop whirl of activity. He will give you a hug and a kiss without a blink, but then, he is gone.....he makes me smile.

So, in conclusion...as you can see, I have trouble picking favorites. I find something wonderful in all of my children. They all bring a different flavor to the table. They complete my soul and fill my heart. I am blessed to have been given the opportunity to have given birth to each and every one of them.


I hope they know this......

I know I tell them.

I AM A PROUD CARD-CARRYING MEMBER OF...

THE NEURODIVERSE.....



Okay, I have said it...

Now, let me start the 12 step program....



1. I will treat my Autistic children with RESPECT....note, I said my Autistic children....

My 13 year old BRILLIANT daughter, who happens to have Asperger's has told me she prefers to be called Autistic, rather than having Autism....

2. I will admit that a power greater than myself made these amazing children who they are and it is beyond my control to try to change them.

3. I will take away the powers of the "pseudo", "quacky" doctors who try to cure my children and let them be the truly gifted children they were meant to be.....
Note: I did not say take away the necessary therapies; ie, speech, occupational, physical and play therapies necessary for the growth and improvement of our autistic children.

4. Morally see that my children are the gifts they were meant to be.

5. Admit to my children that I will never do anything to harm or change them.

6. I am entirely ready to teach them and society to be ready for their gifts.

7. Remind them to be humble and respectful. To be able to behave themselves when out in public. To show the world that Autism is not threatening to society.

8. Make a list of all the "quacks" in the world and do my best to avoid them.

9. Do my best to teach the parent's of newly diagnosed parents know that there is life beyond the initial diagnosis.

10. Continue to stand by my ethics and ignore the negative that is always trying to intrude into our lives....you know who you are...

11. Make sure my children ALWAYS know they were wanted. Not the image of the child I thought I would have, but the gift that stands before me.
Knowing that Autism is not about me as a parent....but about the child in front of me.

and 12. Having known that my child will not only be a vital part of society, but Society will be vital having my children involved.


My daughter Deirdre asked my why every show on Autism is about the parent whining about having an Autistic child. She was devastated when she watched "Autism Every Day" when the mother of a child stated she wanted to drive off a bridge....the child was sitting right there.
Deirdre was confused what Autism had to do with the parent.....
This child is BRILLIANT....

Autism is not about good parenting, bad parenting, grandparenting, etc.

Autism is about accepting a social group of persons who are different than what society considers to be "normal".....
Autism is not threatening to society.
Persons with Autism will teach our society how to be more caring and loving. They will teach us that we do not have to be the same...we are all beneficial...

At least, that is what we are being taught in my home......