It has come to my attention that there is a new disorder on the rise...AOD-Autism Obsessive Disorder.
Since everyone on the forums likes labels, I thought this would intrigue you guys. I mean, really, when asked what diagnosis your child has all you need to answer is autism...not autistic with OCD, ADHD, ADD, Bipolar....etc.
Also, for goodness sakes, how do you care for your children when you post so much each day on 2 or 3 different forums? I am baffled about how the children are even cared for?
I have tracked a few this weekend, and believe me, I am stunned. For almost 2 years one mother has been posting over 3 times a day. That is obsessive. Then the same mother and several of her cohorts pick and whine about the comments made by certain Accepting people...be it parent's or educators.
I would also like to bring to the attention of one AOD parent...who shall remain nameless....my 2 children have gotten better since the newspaper report in the USA Today was written over 18 months ago. It is called growth. Kids do it, even without spending all of your money on biomedical crap.
I do not know if AOD has a cure or even if you can recover. I don't believe it can happen. I think you people are so absorbed into your children's autism that you cannot dig out of the hole. I feel badly for you, but mostly I feel badly for your children. How much are they missing out on?
Hey, Maybe Buttar has a cream...or you can sit in an HBOT chamber...or sit while you have an IVIG...or better yet
Just let it GO.....
Saturday, October 21, 2006
My First Experience With Autism
My first experience with autism was not with the birth of our oldest child. It was years before 1991.
My first experience was in 1982. I was needing to get extra money, as being in college, beer cost alot of money and George Strait was costing more and more to see.
I went for an interview at The San Marcos Treatment Center. It was a part of The Brown School's system. They were basically a place for very wealthy people to send their handicapped or emotionally disabled children. Also, if you're state could not find appropriate schooling for your child, they would send them to The San Marcos Treatment Center.
The first dorm I worked on was an all-female dorm. There were older women in 2 rooms (32 to 70 years old), middle-aged women in 2 rooms (18 to 30 years old)_, teenagers in 1 room (11 to 16 years old) and young girls (4 to 10 years old) in the last room.
The majority of the younger girls were labeled Autistic. They were heavily medicated to calm their behaviors. I remember nurses visits 3 times a day for most of the residents. My first one-to-one was a 15 year old autistic girl from Chicago. The second was 16 years and autistic from Chicago also. Not related, by the way.
Our oldest daughter, Caitlin, is exactly like Kim. Jumping, flapping, and defiant at times. I loved Kim. She was a joy to work with.
The older ladies were most definitely autistic. That would make Martha, if she is still alive, in her late 80's or early 90's. Janet would be in her early 80's. Caroline would be in her 80's. Anne would be in her early 60's. They were not labeled autistic, because the label they got by their doctor's were retarded....but believe me, they had all of the autistic characteristics.
So there goes the ever popular question of "Where are the 75 year old autistics?"....Easy answer....they are dead, institutionalized, or heavily medicated. These women and men were not treated the same as they are now. They were not educated like they would be required to be now. They sat in a room and waited for their meds, meals and therapists.
This Brown School's was a very nice place. The residents were taken good care of. They were the lucky ones. They had people who were well-paid, for the time, and cared for them. I know, of all the people that I cared for, I loved them all.
Now that we have autistic children, I have to be thankful for my job at The San Marcos Treatment Center. That job taught me patience, kindness, acceptance and love of what is deemed by others to be abnormal. I wish I could find these people and let them know the lessons they taught me. I hope they are still being well-cared for and loved. I hope wherever they are, they are safe and happy.
I must edit this post, because I wrote it all wrong....
My first experience with autism was when I was 11 years old and hired to babysit a neighbors children. The little girl was 6 and the little boy was 3. The little boy was autistic.
I cannot believe that I totally forgot about this little boy. He was non-verbal and scream most of the night. I did not mind babysitting him, but it was a challenge for a 11 year old girl.
That was in 1971. This child would be around 38 years old now....I wonder where he is?
My first experience was in 1982. I was needing to get extra money, as being in college, beer cost alot of money and George Strait was costing more and more to see.
I went for an interview at The San Marcos Treatment Center. It was a part of The Brown School's system. They were basically a place for very wealthy people to send their handicapped or emotionally disabled children. Also, if you're state could not find appropriate schooling for your child, they would send them to The San Marcos Treatment Center.
The first dorm I worked on was an all-female dorm. There were older women in 2 rooms (32 to 70 years old), middle-aged women in 2 rooms (18 to 30 years old)_, teenagers in 1 room (11 to 16 years old) and young girls (4 to 10 years old) in the last room.
The majority of the younger girls were labeled Autistic. They were heavily medicated to calm their behaviors. I remember nurses visits 3 times a day for most of the residents. My first one-to-one was a 15 year old autistic girl from Chicago. The second was 16 years and autistic from Chicago also. Not related, by the way.
Our oldest daughter, Caitlin, is exactly like Kim. Jumping, flapping, and defiant at times. I loved Kim. She was a joy to work with.
The older ladies were most definitely autistic. That would make Martha, if she is still alive, in her late 80's or early 90's. Janet would be in her early 80's. Caroline would be in her 80's. Anne would be in her early 60's. They were not labeled autistic, because the label they got by their doctor's were retarded....but believe me, they had all of the autistic characteristics.
So there goes the ever popular question of "Where are the 75 year old autistics?"....Easy answer....they are dead, institutionalized, or heavily medicated. These women and men were not treated the same as they are now. They were not educated like they would be required to be now. They sat in a room and waited for their meds, meals and therapists.
This Brown School's was a very nice place. The residents were taken good care of. They were the lucky ones. They had people who were well-paid, for the time, and cared for them. I know, of all the people that I cared for, I loved them all.
Now that we have autistic children, I have to be thankful for my job at The San Marcos Treatment Center. That job taught me patience, kindness, acceptance and love of what is deemed by others to be abnormal. I wish I could find these people and let them know the lessons they taught me. I hope they are still being well-cared for and loved. I hope wherever they are, they are safe and happy.
I must edit this post, because I wrote it all wrong....
My first experience with autism was when I was 11 years old and hired to babysit a neighbors children. The little girl was 6 and the little boy was 3. The little boy was autistic.
I cannot believe that I totally forgot about this little boy. He was non-verbal and scream most of the night. I did not mind babysitting him, but it was a challenge for a 11 year old girl.
That was in 1971. This child would be around 38 years old now....I wonder where he is?
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Not Your Typical Day...
I woke up this morning and Kiernan was right beside me...soaking wet. Yes, he had wet the bed and decided to crawl in next to me...now my bed is wet. So, I got up and changed his diaper. We came downstairs and I started our regular morning routine.
2 of the children had appointments with the neurologist this morning. Their bi-annual checkup.
I started making coffee and breakfast for the family.
Kiernan was in a very feisty mood. He went directly into the bathroom, and through the toilet paper into the toilet. I removed him and cleaned the water up. Next stop for Kiernan was the kitchen refrigerator. He is fascinated with the water spout. My husband cleaned that up.
I could not find the insurance forms for the girls and we were running late. I had to sign report cards and get them in the backpacks. I got the lunches packed.
As I turn around, I caught Kiernan spilling my coffee onto the carpeting. He loves to see things spill. I throw a towel over the spill..I will deal with that later. But, Kiernan was very pleased with what he had accomplished.
The kids were stressing because, God forbid, we were 5 minutes behind schedule.
We load up in the Tahoe and suddenly my husband stops. "We don't have any steering"...what..."I said, I cannot turn the steering wheel"....
After 5 more minutes of sitting there, the kids start panicking. 5 minutes before the school bell rings. My kids are never, ever TARDY.
We walk in the house, just to get our thoughts together. Kiernan grabs his backpack and begins his walk to school. We only live 5 blocks, so he was headed in the right direction.
Austin finally got a cold front and it was a very cool 63 degrees and windy. Kiernan loves the wind.
As we are walking to school, Patrick and Erin are visibly upset. They have never been tardy and are sure they will be in trouble. Patrick and I are reassuring them they will be okay. Meaghan is complaining because she is missing Art class. We assure her she will be able to go.
We get to school, Patrick, myself, Erin, Meaghan, Little Patrick, and Kiernan...all in a row. The principal says, "What's wrong?". I explained car trouble. She laughs and stated she thought it was something bad since we were all together.
So, thanks to a broken alternator belt, we had a rough start to school. The day has since calmed down. I now have a turkey in the oven so the kids will be happy when they come home from school. They love when I make turkey. It smells like Thanksgiving to them....and believe it or not....they have alot to be Thankful for.
Oh, and one more note....report cards.
Meaghan got 5 A's and 1 B-honor roll
Erin got 4 A's and 2 B's-honor roll
The boys are graded differently..they don't give letter grades until 3rd grade.
Patrick got all 3's and 4's.
Kiernan got all 1's and some 2's....he has come so far in 2 years.
We are so proud of them all....
2 of the children had appointments with the neurologist this morning. Their bi-annual checkup.
I started making coffee and breakfast for the family.
Kiernan was in a very feisty mood. He went directly into the bathroom, and through the toilet paper into the toilet. I removed him and cleaned the water up. Next stop for Kiernan was the kitchen refrigerator. He is fascinated with the water spout. My husband cleaned that up.
I could not find the insurance forms for the girls and we were running late. I had to sign report cards and get them in the backpacks. I got the lunches packed.
As I turn around, I caught Kiernan spilling my coffee onto the carpeting. He loves to see things spill. I throw a towel over the spill..I will deal with that later. But, Kiernan was very pleased with what he had accomplished.
The kids were stressing because, God forbid, we were 5 minutes behind schedule.
We load up in the Tahoe and suddenly my husband stops. "We don't have any steering"...what..."I said, I cannot turn the steering wheel"....
After 5 more minutes of sitting there, the kids start panicking. 5 minutes before the school bell rings. My kids are never, ever TARDY.
We walk in the house, just to get our thoughts together. Kiernan grabs his backpack and begins his walk to school. We only live 5 blocks, so he was headed in the right direction.
Austin finally got a cold front and it was a very cool 63 degrees and windy. Kiernan loves the wind.
As we are walking to school, Patrick and Erin are visibly upset. They have never been tardy and are sure they will be in trouble. Patrick and I are reassuring them they will be okay. Meaghan is complaining because she is missing Art class. We assure her she will be able to go.
We get to school, Patrick, myself, Erin, Meaghan, Little Patrick, and Kiernan...all in a row. The principal says, "What's wrong?". I explained car trouble. She laughs and stated she thought it was something bad since we were all together.
So, thanks to a broken alternator belt, we had a rough start to school. The day has since calmed down. I now have a turkey in the oven so the kids will be happy when they come home from school. They love when I make turkey. It smells like Thanksgiving to them....and believe it or not....they have alot to be Thankful for.
Oh, and one more note....report cards.
Meaghan got 5 A's and 1 B-honor roll
Erin got 4 A's and 2 B's-honor roll
The boys are graded differently..they don't give letter grades until 3rd grade.
Patrick got all 3's and 4's.
Kiernan got all 1's and some 2's....he has come so far in 2 years.
We are so proud of them all....
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
The Autism Rainbow....
I have always thought we had a unique family. We are who we are....
We have 6 children. 5 of them autistic. That is not bragging rights, just what we are.
I received a call from a mother the other day, who wanted to come and meet me. She just got the diagnosis of Autism for her son. I told her she was welcome, but she probably wouldn't like what I had to say. She said that she would take the chance.
In walks this very pretty lady. She looked sad. We started talking. I explained our family to her. She could not believe what she was hearing. She was so mad her son had autism she was blind with anger...her words, not mine.
She stayed longer than she had planned, because she wanted to meet my children....
As they came off the bus, I introduced the first four:
1. This is Kiernan....our hardest one to handle as of today. Fully autistic and very active. He has the face of an angel, but is so sly and devilish. We adore this child.
2. This is Patrick...he is very shy. He does not handle noise or clothing well. He is the smartest 6 year old I know. He loves hugs and loves his friends. He is all boy.
3. This is Erin. She has come so far in such a short 9 years. This child went from severely autistic to an honor roll student. She went from screaming to happy. She is so joyous.
4. This is Meaghan. She is our angel. This child loves her autistic siblings, but sure lets us know when she needs our attention. She will be famous someday...I am sure of it.
The kids sat and talked with this woman for about a half and hour until Deirdre's bus pulled up. In walks Deirdre...
5. This is Deirdre. She is a typical 12 year old girl. She thinks her father and I are the dumbest people on the planet Earth. Oh well, she is probably not that far off. This Asperger's child has gotten through all of her quirks and has made a load of friends. My hat is off to Deirdre.
Deirdre started to answer this ladies questions. Deirdre is so analytical. She kind of stunned the woman with her intelligence. I was very proud.
Now Caitlin arrives home in all of her thunder:
6. Who's this? Caitlin asks...This is my friend. Caitlin says,"nice shirt"..the lady says thank you. Not bad for a child who did not notice anyone just 5 short years ago. Caitlin got her snack and retreated to her room...
I went on to explain to this parent of a newly diagnosed autistic child that her world did not just end. It just became different.
All the doctor did was add a label to the child she already has. Do not look differently at this child because of it. Just realize that it does not change who he/she is. You still have the child you gave birth to, they just now have a label. And most important, the label does not define the child.
When this lady left she gave me a great big hug. She said to me, you know what your family is? I was waiting.....
She said, "Your family is the family with the Autism Rainbow..."
I like that...I think I will keep it.
We have 6 children. 5 of them autistic. That is not bragging rights, just what we are.
I received a call from a mother the other day, who wanted to come and meet me. She just got the diagnosis of Autism for her son. I told her she was welcome, but she probably wouldn't like what I had to say. She said that she would take the chance.
In walks this very pretty lady. She looked sad. We started talking. I explained our family to her. She could not believe what she was hearing. She was so mad her son had autism she was blind with anger...her words, not mine.
She stayed longer than she had planned, because she wanted to meet my children....
As they came off the bus, I introduced the first four:
1. This is Kiernan....our hardest one to handle as of today. Fully autistic and very active. He has the face of an angel, but is so sly and devilish. We adore this child.
2. This is Patrick...he is very shy. He does not handle noise or clothing well. He is the smartest 6 year old I know. He loves hugs and loves his friends. He is all boy.
3. This is Erin. She has come so far in such a short 9 years. This child went from severely autistic to an honor roll student. She went from screaming to happy. She is so joyous.
4. This is Meaghan. She is our angel. This child loves her autistic siblings, but sure lets us know when she needs our attention. She will be famous someday...I am sure of it.
The kids sat and talked with this woman for about a half and hour until Deirdre's bus pulled up. In walks Deirdre...
5. This is Deirdre. She is a typical 12 year old girl. She thinks her father and I are the dumbest people on the planet Earth. Oh well, she is probably not that far off. This Asperger's child has gotten through all of her quirks and has made a load of friends. My hat is off to Deirdre.
Deirdre started to answer this ladies questions. Deirdre is so analytical. She kind of stunned the woman with her intelligence. I was very proud.
Now Caitlin arrives home in all of her thunder:
6. Who's this? Caitlin asks...This is my friend. Caitlin says,"nice shirt"..the lady says thank you. Not bad for a child who did not notice anyone just 5 short years ago. Caitlin got her snack and retreated to her room...
I went on to explain to this parent of a newly diagnosed autistic child that her world did not just end. It just became different.
All the doctor did was add a label to the child she already has. Do not look differently at this child because of it. Just realize that it does not change who he/she is. You still have the child you gave birth to, they just now have a label. And most important, the label does not define the child.
When this lady left she gave me a great big hug. She said to me, you know what your family is? I was waiting.....
She said, "Your family is the family with the Autism Rainbow..."
I like that...I think I will keep it.
The Acceptance Around Us..
Today, I had my monthly lunch with Meaghan, our 8 year-old. We have lunch anytime the menu says ENCHILADAS....I love them.
We pick a seat out in the hallway, so we can speak to people as they pass. And believe me, alot of people pass.
I know every teacher at our school...and Mary Hutka (she was Caitlin's amazing 2nd grade teacher) this is a shout out to you....and I must say I like them all. Some I love, but I like all of them.
Any way, I was sitting there with Meaghan and the PE teacher came out and was having her class run laps back and forth on a track in the hall. I asked Meaghan if she wanted to eat in the library, in case it got too loud. Meaghan declined, she wanted to watch the 5th graders run back and forth.
There were 4 groups of 4 runners. The first group went...nothing spectacular. The second group...the same. The third group had a young lady who ran longer than any girl or boy. Then came the fourth group.
Now, up to this point, it was pretty quiet. No screaming, no cheering, just counting laps.
All of a sudden, with the fourth group, came these yells of encouragement...GO ZOEY, GO ZOEY, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
Here comes Zoey, a little girl who uses a walker due to Cerebral Palsy. Running her little heart out. She would lift her feet up when she approached the line and scoot to the line. She would stop, turn her walker around, and off she went. She went until she could not go any further.
What impressed me even more than the AMAZING Zoey, was the fact the children all stopped to cheer her on. The fact that when she was finished, they made sure she was okay. They helped her get water, and all gave her a hug or a High 5.
This is the school all of my children have attended. All 6 of them have been there or are going there. This is a school who does not tolerate bullying, name-calling, or non-acceptance of any kind.
We have bi-polar students, Cerebral Palsy students, ADHD students, a student with Tourette's Syndrome and of course, the Autistic students (most of which are ours). These children are all inclusioned when they reach the age of 4 or older.
Our children get invited to all the birthday parties, sleepovers, Christmas, Easter and Halloween parties. They have always been accepted. I believe we owe the fact the parent's accepting all of the children is because the school accepts them also.
The special education team at Summitt Elementary is first-class. These people make sure the children excel. They are not allowed to "just get by"..they are made to learn and grow into wonderful young pre-teens.
If you don't believe me, just ask all that witnessed the race of a lifetime today...just ask the Amazing ZOEY......
We pick a seat out in the hallway, so we can speak to people as they pass. And believe me, alot of people pass.
I know every teacher at our school...and Mary Hutka (she was Caitlin's amazing 2nd grade teacher) this is a shout out to you....and I must say I like them all. Some I love, but I like all of them.
Any way, I was sitting there with Meaghan and the PE teacher came out and was having her class run laps back and forth on a track in the hall. I asked Meaghan if she wanted to eat in the library, in case it got too loud. Meaghan declined, she wanted to watch the 5th graders run back and forth.
There were 4 groups of 4 runners. The first group went...nothing spectacular. The second group...the same. The third group had a young lady who ran longer than any girl or boy. Then came the fourth group.
Now, up to this point, it was pretty quiet. No screaming, no cheering, just counting laps.
All of a sudden, with the fourth group, came these yells of encouragement...GO ZOEY, GO ZOEY, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
Here comes Zoey, a little girl who uses a walker due to Cerebral Palsy. Running her little heart out. She would lift her feet up when she approached the line and scoot to the line. She would stop, turn her walker around, and off she went. She went until she could not go any further.
What impressed me even more than the AMAZING Zoey, was the fact the children all stopped to cheer her on. The fact that when she was finished, they made sure she was okay. They helped her get water, and all gave her a hug or a High 5.
This is the school all of my children have attended. All 6 of them have been there or are going there. This is a school who does not tolerate bullying, name-calling, or non-acceptance of any kind.
We have bi-polar students, Cerebral Palsy students, ADHD students, a student with Tourette's Syndrome and of course, the Autistic students (most of which are ours). These children are all inclusioned when they reach the age of 4 or older.
Our children get invited to all the birthday parties, sleepovers, Christmas, Easter and Halloween parties. They have always been accepted. I believe we owe the fact the parent's accepting all of the children is because the school accepts them also.
The special education team at Summitt Elementary is first-class. These people make sure the children excel. They are not allowed to "just get by"..they are made to learn and grow into wonderful young pre-teens.
If you don't believe me, just ask all that witnessed the race of a lifetime today...just ask the Amazing ZOEY......
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Public Assistance....
I have taken the time to read a few statements this weekend, that some kind soul was trying to share with me....thinking I might get offended...The person that sent them to me does not think kindly of my Accepting Attitude towards my children....
They are trying to egg me on....Guess what? It didn't...
But then, I thought about it for a while....
Do I owe this person an explanation of why my family accepts funding from MHMR (Mental Health and Mental Retardation) for Respite and SSI for a couple of our children????
Then I thought, why the heck not. Maybe that will shut them up about me for once and for all....I doubt it....I think soon they will start a fan club about my family. They do seem OBSESSED....
Okay, in 1994, when Caitlin was diagnosed, my husband worked and I ran an in-home daycare. We had a visit from Any Baby Can, a local support group. They assessed our situation and told us about respite help and SSI. The respite help had a 7 year wait list. So we applied for SSI. Unbeknowst to us, we got an appointment. We went downtown and filled out forms and answered questions. 2 weeks later, we were given an appointment with a speech therapist to evaluate Caitlin for SSI. I guess we passed. 6 weeks later we received a retro check and Medicaid...boy was that a lifesaver. Her medical bills were enormous.
Deirdre was born in 1994 and she was not diagnosed until 2004. She has never received any supplemental income of any kind. We feel she will succeed fine and not need services in the future.
Erin was diagnosed in 1998 and we put her on the waitlists and applied for SSI. Again, she qualified and started receiving MHMR and SSI.
Meaghan received no services or funding.
Patrick was diagnosed in 2002. He started receiving SSI and MHMR services at that time. There is now no waitlist for services in Travis County for In-home and Family Support. That is what we get.
Kiernan was diagnosed the same day as Patrick in 2002. He also receives SSI and receives more services than Patrick. He is much more delayed and has a more severe form of autism.
Now, the reason we still receive services is that WE QUALIFY for them. WE do not cheat or lie to get these services. We fill out forms...we go to every evaluation....we open our home up once a month to be observed and make sure we are using the funds appropriately. We have no problems with that.
To be Accepting of Autism does not in any way mean that we do not think we have autistic children. We know they are autistic. Accepting our autistic children is just that ACCEPTING. I wish you people would get that.
We know our children are autistic. We have been told by more than one professional. We have been through the wringer. We will be scrutinized all of our existence as long as we have these amazing children.
So, please refrain, if that is possible, from trying to drag my wonderful family through the mud. And, if you are ever in Austin, Tx...give me a call. You are welcome to come meet us for yourselves. You will probably leave with a smile on your face and a better appreciation of what acceptance is...and maybe you will quit negating our efforts for doing so.
I can DREAM, can't I ??????
They are trying to egg me on....Guess what? It didn't...
But then, I thought about it for a while....
Do I owe this person an explanation of why my family accepts funding from MHMR (Mental Health and Mental Retardation) for Respite and SSI for a couple of our children????
Then I thought, why the heck not. Maybe that will shut them up about me for once and for all....I doubt it....I think soon they will start a fan club about my family. They do seem OBSESSED....
Okay, in 1994, when Caitlin was diagnosed, my husband worked and I ran an in-home daycare. We had a visit from Any Baby Can, a local support group. They assessed our situation and told us about respite help and SSI. The respite help had a 7 year wait list. So we applied for SSI. Unbeknowst to us, we got an appointment. We went downtown and filled out forms and answered questions. 2 weeks later, we were given an appointment with a speech therapist to evaluate Caitlin for SSI. I guess we passed. 6 weeks later we received a retro check and Medicaid...boy was that a lifesaver. Her medical bills were enormous.
Deirdre was born in 1994 and she was not diagnosed until 2004. She has never received any supplemental income of any kind. We feel she will succeed fine and not need services in the future.
Erin was diagnosed in 1998 and we put her on the waitlists and applied for SSI. Again, she qualified and started receiving MHMR and SSI.
Meaghan received no services or funding.
Patrick was diagnosed in 2002. He started receiving SSI and MHMR services at that time. There is now no waitlist for services in Travis County for In-home and Family Support. That is what we get.
Kiernan was diagnosed the same day as Patrick in 2002. He also receives SSI and receives more services than Patrick. He is much more delayed and has a more severe form of autism.
Now, the reason we still receive services is that WE QUALIFY for them. WE do not cheat or lie to get these services. We fill out forms...we go to every evaluation....we open our home up once a month to be observed and make sure we are using the funds appropriately. We have no problems with that.
To be Accepting of Autism does not in any way mean that we do not think we have autistic children. We know they are autistic. Accepting our autistic children is just that ACCEPTING. I wish you people would get that.
We know our children are autistic. We have been told by more than one professional. We have been through the wringer. We will be scrutinized all of our existence as long as we have these amazing children.
So, please refrain, if that is possible, from trying to drag my wonderful family through the mud. And, if you are ever in Austin, Tx...give me a call. You are welcome to come meet us for yourselves. You will probably leave with a smile on your face and a better appreciation of what acceptance is...and maybe you will quit negating our efforts for doing so.
I can DREAM, can't I ??????
Saturday, October 14, 2006
The Still Great GEORGE STRAIT...
I got the rare moment of alonedom yesterday for one hour...no friends, no family, no children, no school....
I listened to George Strait's new CD....all I can say is I love George Strait. He took a gloomy day for me and made me smile.
I just found out that my best friend, a woman who has helped me more than she will ever know, has terminal cancer. I was feeling very blue. How can this happen to such a joyous person. Her husband is devastated.
So, in went George Strait...immediately I was uplifted.
You see, I go way back with George. My first year in college, I was a young 17 year old girl, unaware of what was to become of my life. I signed up as an Agriculture Education major. One of my classes was Surveying.
The other surveying class was the hour in front of ours. One day out walked George Strait. He was 10 years older than us. He had gone to the army and returned to SWTSU to complete his Agriculture degree. He played local bars for money and we usually got in for $1.00...if we were lucky, it was ladies night and we got free beer.
George was just one of the student's during the day, but at night, he was a local Superstar. He played Cheatham Street Warehouse, Bigger Than Dallas, Gruene Hall, The Cheyenne Social Club....I told you, I was a groupie.
We would crowd 10 in a car to go see him in San Antonio, New Braunfels, Austin, Killeen, Waco, and Gruene, Tx.....we loved George.
As he became more popular, we had to dig deeper in our pockets to see him. But dig we did...and I remember when his first album came out. San Marcos, Tx could not have been prouder.
Eventually, more albums came out, and he moved on to bigger and more expensive venues. The only way I can enjoy him now is through is CD's, radio and his rare video appearance.....but that is okay with me.
He has remained part of my family. I moved to NYC, and George came with me. I moved back to Austin, and George moved to.
Now that I am married with children..they have all learned to be quiet when George is on the radio or on the television. They know that 3 nights of the year when I get the television are the CMT awards and the Academy of Country Music Awards.
If I walked up to George Strait, he would have not a clue who I am...I would have to remind him that I took pictures for the Rodeo club while he played on the stage. He used to stop and pose as a picture was being taken. He was a courteous and polite man. He was a true cowboy in every sense of the word. And I am happy to see that he has stayed true to his roots.
My hat is off to you George......
Thanks.
I listened to George Strait's new CD....all I can say is I love George Strait. He took a gloomy day for me and made me smile.
I just found out that my best friend, a woman who has helped me more than she will ever know, has terminal cancer. I was feeling very blue. How can this happen to such a joyous person. Her husband is devastated.
So, in went George Strait...immediately I was uplifted.
You see, I go way back with George. My first year in college, I was a young 17 year old girl, unaware of what was to become of my life. I signed up as an Agriculture Education major. One of my classes was Surveying.
The other surveying class was the hour in front of ours. One day out walked George Strait. He was 10 years older than us. He had gone to the army and returned to SWTSU to complete his Agriculture degree. He played local bars for money and we usually got in for $1.00...if we were lucky, it was ladies night and we got free beer.
George was just one of the student's during the day, but at night, he was a local Superstar. He played Cheatham Street Warehouse, Bigger Than Dallas, Gruene Hall, The Cheyenne Social Club....I told you, I was a groupie.
We would crowd 10 in a car to go see him in San Antonio, New Braunfels, Austin, Killeen, Waco, and Gruene, Tx.....we loved George.
As he became more popular, we had to dig deeper in our pockets to see him. But dig we did...and I remember when his first album came out. San Marcos, Tx could not have been prouder.
Eventually, more albums came out, and he moved on to bigger and more expensive venues. The only way I can enjoy him now is through is CD's, radio and his rare video appearance.....but that is okay with me.
He has remained part of my family. I moved to NYC, and George came with me. I moved back to Austin, and George moved to.
Now that I am married with children..they have all learned to be quiet when George is on the radio or on the television. They know that 3 nights of the year when I get the television are the CMT awards and the Academy of Country Music Awards.
If I walked up to George Strait, he would have not a clue who I am...I would have to remind him that I took pictures for the Rodeo club while he played on the stage. He used to stop and pose as a picture was being taken. He was a courteous and polite man. He was a true cowboy in every sense of the word. And I am happy to see that he has stayed true to his roots.
My hat is off to you George......
Thanks.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Biomedical Interventions...
People have assumed that I am against anything Biomedical. That is simply not true... I am against doing these procedures to someone who does not have the voice or the ability to say no. I am against using children as guineau pigs for DAN! Doctors and other medical quacks.
Now, if you as a parent, an adult so to speak, wants to shove a suppository up your butt, feel free. If you want to smear smelly cream on your body, go for it. If you want to put a hood over your head for HBOT, be my guest. If you want to sit in front of a person and be berated with ABA, have at it. If you want to hook yourself up to an IVIG, more power to ya.
I am just against the fact that these innocent children are being subjected to these regimens on the fact that parent's think they will be cured or recovered. Use whatever phrase you want....I do not care.
Our children do all the things regular children do. All but the oldest and youngest have good friends, ride bikes, play at the playground, have sleepovers, ya know...things kids are supposed to do growing up.
Many children spend alot of time at our home. Parent's have no problem in doing so. They know their children are well-cared for and treated well in our home.
Our children are well-respected at school and known as the O'Donnell children. Not the autistic O'Donnell children.
I have been questioned on the fact that we used Occupational Therapies, Physical Therapies and Speech for our children.
That is true...we use OT because they could not use a spoon or grasp a pencil. They needed the deep brushing to calm them down. They needed deep pressure through massage to make them calm. They loved the swinging on the big swing, it seemed to make them come together in their minds. They do not require this anymore. They are now able to calm down with few prompts to take a deep breath.....it works wonders for them.
The PT was for Caitlin and Erin only. They never crawled and had some issues with walking.
Speech for all but one of our children. Although Deirdre spoke very early, she was hard to understand. The others did not get words until later in their little lives. Kiernan is still non-verbal...his speech teacher is using the AudioVox with him....he loves it.
We were blessed with amazing therapists who seemed to really love our children. We have had the same speech therapist for 12 years. We had the same OT for 8 years. She went through all of our children.
These are interventions, yes, but they do not tout to cure autism. They are used to help our children succeed in areas they were not successful in. IT WORKS FOR OUR FAMILY.
I do not see the fascination with our family from a select few. If you visited our house, it really is quite boring. Right now, at this moment, little Patrick is waiting for me to get off of our computer. Kiernan is watching his Wiggles video. Meaghan is singing One Tin Soldier. Caitlin is in her room. Erin is watching Country Music Television with her father. Deirdre is in her room listening to The Beatles-her newest obsession. Later, we are going to a birthday party. Meaghan is going to a sleep-over and Erin is going with the Scouts to gaze at the stars this evening.
This is what works for our family. NORMALCY.....
And on a final note for the evening...our youngest, Kiernan, who has been trying to master a spoon for a long time, finally succeeded. He now can hold a spoon and eat like a big boy. This is a major hurdle for this child. We are so proud of him...I cannot wait to tell his teacher on Monday. She has been working so hard with him on this.
Now, if you as a parent, an adult so to speak, wants to shove a suppository up your butt, feel free. If you want to smear smelly cream on your body, go for it. If you want to put a hood over your head for HBOT, be my guest. If you want to sit in front of a person and be berated with ABA, have at it. If you want to hook yourself up to an IVIG, more power to ya.
I am just against the fact that these innocent children are being subjected to these regimens on the fact that parent's think they will be cured or recovered. Use whatever phrase you want....I do not care.
Our children do all the things regular children do. All but the oldest and youngest have good friends, ride bikes, play at the playground, have sleepovers, ya know...things kids are supposed to do growing up.
Many children spend alot of time at our home. Parent's have no problem in doing so. They know their children are well-cared for and treated well in our home.
Our children are well-respected at school and known as the O'Donnell children. Not the autistic O'Donnell children.
I have been questioned on the fact that we used Occupational Therapies, Physical Therapies and Speech for our children.
That is true...we use OT because they could not use a spoon or grasp a pencil. They needed the deep brushing to calm them down. They needed deep pressure through massage to make them calm. They loved the swinging on the big swing, it seemed to make them come together in their minds. They do not require this anymore. They are now able to calm down with few prompts to take a deep breath.....it works wonders for them.
The PT was for Caitlin and Erin only. They never crawled and had some issues with walking.
Speech for all but one of our children. Although Deirdre spoke very early, she was hard to understand. The others did not get words until later in their little lives. Kiernan is still non-verbal...his speech teacher is using the AudioVox with him....he loves it.
We were blessed with amazing therapists who seemed to really love our children. We have had the same speech therapist for 12 years. We had the same OT for 8 years. She went through all of our children.
These are interventions, yes, but they do not tout to cure autism. They are used to help our children succeed in areas they were not successful in. IT WORKS FOR OUR FAMILY.
I do not see the fascination with our family from a select few. If you visited our house, it really is quite boring. Right now, at this moment, little Patrick is waiting for me to get off of our computer. Kiernan is watching his Wiggles video. Meaghan is singing One Tin Soldier. Caitlin is in her room. Erin is watching Country Music Television with her father. Deirdre is in her room listening to The Beatles-her newest obsession. Later, we are going to a birthday party. Meaghan is going to a sleep-over and Erin is going with the Scouts to gaze at the stars this evening.
This is what works for our family. NORMALCY.....
And on a final note for the evening...our youngest, Kiernan, who has been trying to master a spoon for a long time, finally succeeded. He now can hold a spoon and eat like a big boy. This is a major hurdle for this child. We are so proud of him...I cannot wait to tell his teacher on Monday. She has been working so hard with him on this.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Accepting Autism...
In our home, accepting our autistic children was never an option...it was a given. From the day each of them were born, we have watched them all grow and become very delightful children.
We became their biggest fans and advocates when they needed us to be. We became extremely good at scheduling therapies and doctors appointments. Our children have been lucky to have the same speech and occupational therapists for years. They know us and they know our children.
Lately, I have become saddened by what I read on Autism forums and support groups. I have decided not to visit them anymore. The people who try to debate with the biomedical community are often berated and ridiculed. Certain members of these boards, and they know who they are, are so stuck in curing their children, they do not want to even converse about the options.
Since leaving these groups, my head has become clearer. I am not bogged down by negativity and hatefullness.
I have found a support group for persons who accept their children. I found positive people. I found people who truly love their children for whom they are and find their quirks part of who they are meant to be.
I have found mothers and fathers of all ages, with autistic children, who have determined the options to "cure" their children are far to dangerous than is necessary. These are people who have researched chelation, HBOT, IVIG, etc. For these parent's, the risk far outweighs the uncertainty.
In our homes, we have children who are getting better every day. Going to school, making friends, riding bicycles, participating in sports, etc.
In our home this is being done even with the labels of Autism.
This is being done even without chemical interventions.
I realize the naysayers are blogging that I am a lazy mother. They believe me to do nothing to help my children. That my ego is as big as Soapbox Moms....and for that I say Thank You....
To be compared to mothers such as Soapbox Mom is a compliment. I know how hard she works at keeping a happy family. I know her son has progressed and she and her family should get most of the credit for that.
You see, we live in the REAL WORLD. A world where you do not have to be labeled Normal to survive. A world that we hope will accept our children as much as we do. We can take our children out in public and not worry about their behaviors. We can take our children to birthday parties and stores without putting a label on them for all to see. Because we don't look at our children as Autistic children. We look at them as Our children.
We became their biggest fans and advocates when they needed us to be. We became extremely good at scheduling therapies and doctors appointments. Our children have been lucky to have the same speech and occupational therapists for years. They know us and they know our children.
Lately, I have become saddened by what I read on Autism forums and support groups. I have decided not to visit them anymore. The people who try to debate with the biomedical community are often berated and ridiculed. Certain members of these boards, and they know who they are, are so stuck in curing their children, they do not want to even converse about the options.
Since leaving these groups, my head has become clearer. I am not bogged down by negativity and hatefullness.
I have found a support group for persons who accept their children. I found positive people. I found people who truly love their children for whom they are and find their quirks part of who they are meant to be.
I have found mothers and fathers of all ages, with autistic children, who have determined the options to "cure" their children are far to dangerous than is necessary. These are people who have researched chelation, HBOT, IVIG, etc. For these parent's, the risk far outweighs the uncertainty.
In our homes, we have children who are getting better every day. Going to school, making friends, riding bicycles, participating in sports, etc.
In our home this is being done even with the labels of Autism.
This is being done even without chemical interventions.
I realize the naysayers are blogging that I am a lazy mother. They believe me to do nothing to help my children. That my ego is as big as Soapbox Moms....and for that I say Thank You....
To be compared to mothers such as Soapbox Mom is a compliment. I know how hard she works at keeping a happy family. I know her son has progressed and she and her family should get most of the credit for that.
You see, we live in the REAL WORLD. A world where you do not have to be labeled Normal to survive. A world that we hope will accept our children as much as we do. We can take our children out in public and not worry about their behaviors. We can take our children to birthday parties and stores without putting a label on them for all to see. Because we don't look at our children as Autistic children. We look at them as Our children.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
You People Scare ME....
I do not care who takes offense to this blog..This is strictly for me.
You parent's...and I use the word loosely....SCARE ME.
You guys take your small, precious children and put them in a HBOT chamber. You have no idea how to do this, but HELL, if it CURES Autism, what the HECK????.
I am totally shocked what I read on the Autism Parent's Forums. I really am.
Let us try this:
Wake up in the morning.
Hug and Kiss your child Good Morning (please try to hold back the disappointment that they are autistic)
Let them dress themselves or help them dress
Feed them breakfast
Take them to school
Kiss them goodbye
When you greet them after school, hug them again
Help them with their homework, if they have any
Let them play
Feed them dinner
Let them bathe or bathe them
Get Them Dressed for bed
Snack if necessary
Read a Bedtime Story
Say prayer...if you believe
Kiss and Hug them Goodnight....
And start all over again....
Is that so Friggin Hard?????
I read on one sight where a mother is doing HBOT on her 1 year old child. ONE YEAR OLD...now wants to know if she should start B12 shots. ONE YEAR OLD. I was hoping someone with at little sanity would write back that they believe it is too young to do this to such a small child....Oh, but No. They write back "THE SOONER THE BETTER"....
Why on earth would you take a precious little soul and succumb them to the atrocities you do??? Then you second guess each other about the proper protocol...
I hope you can live with the results in a few years and I really hope your children can forgive you for the unneccesary treatments you give or have given them....
I hope it is worth it !!
You parent's...and I use the word loosely....SCARE ME.
You guys take your small, precious children and put them in a HBOT chamber. You have no idea how to do this, but HELL, if it CURES Autism, what the HECK????.
I am totally shocked what I read on the Autism Parent's Forums. I really am.
Let us try this:
Wake up in the morning.
Hug and Kiss your child Good Morning (please try to hold back the disappointment that they are autistic)
Let them dress themselves or help them dress
Feed them breakfast
Take them to school
Kiss them goodbye
When you greet them after school, hug them again
Help them with their homework, if they have any
Let them play
Feed them dinner
Let them bathe or bathe them
Get Them Dressed for bed
Snack if necessary
Read a Bedtime Story
Say prayer...if you believe
Kiss and Hug them Goodnight....
And start all over again....
Is that so Friggin Hard?????
I read on one sight where a mother is doing HBOT on her 1 year old child. ONE YEAR OLD...now wants to know if she should start B12 shots. ONE YEAR OLD. I was hoping someone with at little sanity would write back that they believe it is too young to do this to such a small child....Oh, but No. They write back "THE SOONER THE BETTER"....
Why on earth would you take a precious little soul and succumb them to the atrocities you do??? Then you second guess each other about the proper protocol...
I hope you can live with the results in a few years and I really hope your children can forgive you for the unneccesary treatments you give or have given them....
I hope it is worth it !!
Friday, October 06, 2006
The Question...
I got asked THE question today...the one that everyone asks me. Some people ask it to be smart asses. Some people ask it because they do not understand how anyone could do this....
The question is...Would you have had so many children if you knew they would be autistic?
My answer, without blinking, is ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT !
I do not take offense to this question. I do not hesitate to answer it. I feel it is my obligation to do so.
I later found out the reason behind the question.
A teacher at the school my children attend, recently had a grandson. He is the light of her life. She finds he is very stiff when held. She finds he is not focused on his surroundings. She is worried.
This wonderful teacher has taught 3 of my children. I would put her right up there with a Saint. She cries every year at the annual Kindergarten circus...she loves these children.
She was curious about mine, because she is concerned about her own family.
Life is so full of surprises. That is what makes it so exciting. No person knows what life is going to bring them. Your life could change tomorrow at the blink of an eye. You must take each day and cherish it to it's fullest, no matter what kind of day you have.
My family has been through a lot. We have seen our house almost foreclosed on. We have come very close to bankruptcy. We have had to pay medical bills where we did not know how we could pay them.
I believe we have a Guardian Angel.
After our story was in USA Today, I read the blog written by a mother of an autistic child. She chastised me for having so many kids and so many after the diagnosis of autism. Of course, this was to her friends. She had no idea that I would ever read her comments. She told her fan base that we must be very selfish and how could we bring so many autistic children in this world. Children who would never know love or be able to give anything back to this world.....
Of course, me, with my big mouth and ego, wrote to this blog.
I wrote this....Shame on you for your words. You, the mother of an autistic child..You, who have never met or have heard of me before this story. There is no reason to pity my family. We are a very strong unit. We are thriving, no matter what anyone else wants to think....
When the USA Today story was being written, we opened our house to a reporter and a photographer. The photographer spent 2 days in our home. He was here for at least 14 hours. He was a lovely man. His name is H. Darr Beiser.
The last day he followed us to school, to show our morning routine. He kept up with us. Not an easy task. I gave him a hug goodbye in front of the school. I thought we would never see him again.
He showed up at my house later that day. His flight back to DC wasn't until the afternoon. He asked me if he could film me and tape me. I was happy to.
When he finished, he sat in front of me. He shook my hand and wouldn't let go. He said to me that he felt priveleged to be in our home. That he felt he was given an important job. He told me that he had never been around so much love before. Tears filled his eyes, and then they filled mine. I then knew that the job I am doing as a parent is good and I am doing a good job.
If you ever get to see the pictures on USA Today's site, you can see the way he captured us that he truly got us...and that is all that matters.
So, back to the QUESTION.....
ABSOLUTELY....Without a Doubt !!!!!
The question is...Would you have had so many children if you knew they would be autistic?
My answer, without blinking, is ABSOLUTELY, WITHOUT A DOUBT !
I do not take offense to this question. I do not hesitate to answer it. I feel it is my obligation to do so.
I later found out the reason behind the question.
A teacher at the school my children attend, recently had a grandson. He is the light of her life. She finds he is very stiff when held. She finds he is not focused on his surroundings. She is worried.
This wonderful teacher has taught 3 of my children. I would put her right up there with a Saint. She cries every year at the annual Kindergarten circus...she loves these children.
She was curious about mine, because she is concerned about her own family.
Life is so full of surprises. That is what makes it so exciting. No person knows what life is going to bring them. Your life could change tomorrow at the blink of an eye. You must take each day and cherish it to it's fullest, no matter what kind of day you have.
My family has been through a lot. We have seen our house almost foreclosed on. We have come very close to bankruptcy. We have had to pay medical bills where we did not know how we could pay them.
I believe we have a Guardian Angel.
After our story was in USA Today, I read the blog written by a mother of an autistic child. She chastised me for having so many kids and so many after the diagnosis of autism. Of course, this was to her friends. She had no idea that I would ever read her comments. She told her fan base that we must be very selfish and how could we bring so many autistic children in this world. Children who would never know love or be able to give anything back to this world.....
Of course, me, with my big mouth and ego, wrote to this blog.
I wrote this....Shame on you for your words. You, the mother of an autistic child..You, who have never met or have heard of me before this story. There is no reason to pity my family. We are a very strong unit. We are thriving, no matter what anyone else wants to think....
When the USA Today story was being written, we opened our house to a reporter and a photographer. The photographer spent 2 days in our home. He was here for at least 14 hours. He was a lovely man. His name is H. Darr Beiser.
The last day he followed us to school, to show our morning routine. He kept up with us. Not an easy task. I gave him a hug goodbye in front of the school. I thought we would never see him again.
He showed up at my house later that day. His flight back to DC wasn't until the afternoon. He asked me if he could film me and tape me. I was happy to.
When he finished, he sat in front of me. He shook my hand and wouldn't let go. He said to me that he felt priveleged to be in our home. That he felt he was given an important job. He told me that he had never been around so much love before. Tears filled his eyes, and then they filled mine. I then knew that the job I am doing as a parent is good and I am doing a good job.
If you ever get to see the pictures on USA Today's site, you can see the way he captured us that he truly got us...and that is all that matters.
So, back to the QUESTION.....
ABSOLUTELY....Without a Doubt !!!!!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Karma....
I really do believe in Karma. I believe if you treat others well. I have seen too many incidences of people being negative toward others and "bad" things happen to them. I know, You can know call me "Earl"...I will not take any offense.
Now, back to my post.
I volunteer at school every day that I am able. This week I have been home with a sick 9 year old, so not a stich of volunteer work was done. I do feel just a wee bit guilty. But, my children always come first.
I do not get into the gossip at school, and believe me, there is alot of gossip. Who is pregnant? Who is fat? Who is divorcing? Who is having an affair? Who gives a crap????? Not me....
I stay in my little "volunteer" mode and carry on.
I am the center of alot of this gossip, I hear. That is okay....some people are really bored.
One of my friends gets really annoyed when they talk about me. She gets very defensive and lets me know she will defend me. I reassure her that whatever they say is not of any importance. These people have such little lives, they need to include me....they must really be bored.
It is really hard for people to watch a mother of 6 get things done. They have a hard enough time with 1 or 2 children. They cannot function without their Wellbutrin or whatever antidepressant they take..there are so many.
I have been asked so many times what I am on....I can honestly say, NOTHING. I do not feel the need to medicate. I can honestly say I have never been so depressed that I cannot find a way out of it. I am sorry for those who cannot. That must be horrible.
I relate to others with large families, because our stories are very similar. We raise many people to grow up to be honest, hard-working, stable, funny, quirky, assets to our society. We allow these people to be who they need to be in order to get through life. I think we all have done a Hell of a good job.....Soapbox Mom....I am talking to you.
I hope we have taught them to treat people as they would like to be treated. I hope we have taught them not to hold their hands out to get help, but to try their hardest on their own...it can be done.
I think other people focus too much time on how others are doing than realizing what they have is pretty damn good. Instead of looking in my window, open your eyes and look at your own lives. What you will find might amaze you....
Now, back to my post.
I volunteer at school every day that I am able. This week I have been home with a sick 9 year old, so not a stich of volunteer work was done. I do feel just a wee bit guilty. But, my children always come first.
I do not get into the gossip at school, and believe me, there is alot of gossip. Who is pregnant? Who is fat? Who is divorcing? Who is having an affair? Who gives a crap????? Not me....
I stay in my little "volunteer" mode and carry on.
I am the center of alot of this gossip, I hear. That is okay....some people are really bored.
One of my friends gets really annoyed when they talk about me. She gets very defensive and lets me know she will defend me. I reassure her that whatever they say is not of any importance. These people have such little lives, they need to include me....they must really be bored.
It is really hard for people to watch a mother of 6 get things done. They have a hard enough time with 1 or 2 children. They cannot function without their Wellbutrin or whatever antidepressant they take..there are so many.
I have been asked so many times what I am on....I can honestly say, NOTHING. I do not feel the need to medicate. I can honestly say I have never been so depressed that I cannot find a way out of it. I am sorry for those who cannot. That must be horrible.
I relate to others with large families, because our stories are very similar. We raise many people to grow up to be honest, hard-working, stable, funny, quirky, assets to our society. We allow these people to be who they need to be in order to get through life. I think we all have done a Hell of a good job.....Soapbox Mom....I am talking to you.
I hope we have taught them to treat people as they would like to be treated. I hope we have taught them not to hold their hands out to get help, but to try their hardest on their own...it can be done.
I think other people focus too much time on how others are doing than realizing what they have is pretty damn good. Instead of looking in my window, open your eyes and look at your own lives. What you will find might amaze you....
Autistic Tendencies...
When our first child was diagnosed, the doctor was relunctant to give the Autism diagnosis. It wasn't so easy to get 12 years ago. Not like now. It seems that anyone can have the diagnosis now.
Anyhow, We got the "Your daughter has Autistic Tendencies...."
I remember walking to the car, with husband and daughter in tow. What did he just tell us? Was she autistic or not?
We came back 2 weeks later, with all test results in hand. Blood, EEG, EKG, MRI, etc. It was decided, Caitlin had Autism. Well, thank God we had a label. We always knew she had something, but now we had a LABEL.
Now what? What do we do?
Every Saturday was spent at the big library downtown. We checked out every book ever written on autism, not many I might add. I always say that "we read too much".. We started believing everything we read.
We read to change the diet, to give nutrients, to try to stop her buzzing, flapping, and jumping.
Basically, we were told to stop everything that made her AUTISTIC.
After many months of these crazy alternatives, we decided to let Caitlin be Caitlin. I know, crazy idea, but that is what we decided.
Guess what?
No really, guess what?
We got a much calmer child. We got a child that was so tired of being poked and prodded. We got a child who responded to hugs and kisses. We got a child who loved going to school. Who thrived while being taught by amazing teachers.
We got a much more stable home life. We got a happier and healthier child.
Caitlin's focus was much better at school when we just let her be.
Caitlin's flapping and buzzing are what is her. And at the ripe old age of 15, she still does it. It is what is her.
I do not understand why that is something that should be taken away from her. It is what calms her down and lets her function in our society.
All of our autistic children have some form of stimming. Some are more pronounced than others. Some are so subtle, you probably wouldn't notice. Sometimes, it is so loud, you cannot help but join in.
I just wonder that if every person had the ability to buzz and flap to control their behavior, would we have less road rage? Would we have less abuse to each other as humans? If we all took the time to flap and buzz, would we not then have the ability to drown out what bothers us in this world? Next time you get angry at the driver in front of you, you know the one yacking on his/her cell phone, just roll down your window and buzz.....Next time you get upset at the teller at the bank, (you know the one doing her job) just stand in line and flap and buzz......
Next time you read of another child that is not allowed to be autistic, stand up and flap and buzz........I know I will......
Anyhow, We got the "Your daughter has Autistic Tendencies...."
I remember walking to the car, with husband and daughter in tow. What did he just tell us? Was she autistic or not?
We came back 2 weeks later, with all test results in hand. Blood, EEG, EKG, MRI, etc. It was decided, Caitlin had Autism. Well, thank God we had a label. We always knew she had something, but now we had a LABEL.
Now what? What do we do?
Every Saturday was spent at the big library downtown. We checked out every book ever written on autism, not many I might add. I always say that "we read too much".. We started believing everything we read.
We read to change the diet, to give nutrients, to try to stop her buzzing, flapping, and jumping.
Basically, we were told to stop everything that made her AUTISTIC.
After many months of these crazy alternatives, we decided to let Caitlin be Caitlin. I know, crazy idea, but that is what we decided.
Guess what?
No really, guess what?
We got a much calmer child. We got a child that was so tired of being poked and prodded. We got a child who responded to hugs and kisses. We got a child who loved going to school. Who thrived while being taught by amazing teachers.
We got a much more stable home life. We got a happier and healthier child.
Caitlin's focus was much better at school when we just let her be.
Caitlin's flapping and buzzing are what is her. And at the ripe old age of 15, she still does it. It is what is her.
I do not understand why that is something that should be taken away from her. It is what calms her down and lets her function in our society.
All of our autistic children have some form of stimming. Some are more pronounced than others. Some are so subtle, you probably wouldn't notice. Sometimes, it is so loud, you cannot help but join in.
I just wonder that if every person had the ability to buzz and flap to control their behavior, would we have less road rage? Would we have less abuse to each other as humans? If we all took the time to flap and buzz, would we not then have the ability to drown out what bothers us in this world? Next time you get angry at the driver in front of you, you know the one yacking on his/her cell phone, just roll down your window and buzz.....Next time you get upset at the teller at the bank, (you know the one doing her job) just stand in line and flap and buzz......
Next time you read of another child that is not allowed to be autistic, stand up and flap and buzz........I know I will......
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Regressions...
It is amazing..in the last 12 years, since our first child was diagnosed with autism, we have never seen regressions. Only improvements.
How is that so????How is that so, with the knowledge the Biomedical Community is writing about Recoveries??? That one must regress in order to progress.
Our first child, who is 15, was non-verbal until the age of 9..she is now verbal and attending high school---AMAZING. Never once did she regress or show any decline in improvement. She was diagnosed by a neurologist at the age of 2 1/2.
Our second child, who is 12-Aspergers-No decline-only progression---AMAZING. She was not diagnosed until the age of 9, by a neurologist.
Our third child, who is 9, was non-verbal until 4..now she is verbal and 4th grade with straight A's...no attendant and no regressions ever...AMAZING. She was diagnosed by a neurologist at 18 months.
Our fourth child, age 8...NT...she is just pure AMAZING.
Our fifth child, who is 6, non-verbal until the age of 3 1/2 (for some reason that matters)..now 1st grade straight A's...no regressions ever....AMAZING. He was diagnosed at the age of 15 months by a neurologist.
Our sixth child, who is 5-still non-verbal. This child has come so far in 3 years of regular education....can write and spell any word you want. No regressions, only progressions...AMAZING. He was diagnosed at the age of 1 year by the neurologist.
I believe the autistic child can improve without any chemical interventions.... Save your money...save your sanity.....
We have had autism in our house since 1991...none of our children have regressed in any point of their lives. They have only excelled and become better people.. I thank all of those involved in their lives.
I thank all of those who let them be themselves.
Our Autistic children will become Autistic adults. They will be productive and continue to learn new things and to progress in their lives.
They will grow up to be AMAZING people-
and that my friends, we have no doubt about.
How is that so????How is that so, with the knowledge the Biomedical Community is writing about Recoveries??? That one must regress in order to progress.
Our first child, who is 15, was non-verbal until the age of 9..she is now verbal and attending high school---AMAZING. Never once did she regress or show any decline in improvement. She was diagnosed by a neurologist at the age of 2 1/2.
Our second child, who is 12-Aspergers-No decline-only progression---AMAZING. She was not diagnosed until the age of 9, by a neurologist.
Our third child, who is 9, was non-verbal until 4..now she is verbal and 4th grade with straight A's...no attendant and no regressions ever...AMAZING. She was diagnosed by a neurologist at 18 months.
Our fourth child, age 8...NT...she is just pure AMAZING.
Our fifth child, who is 6, non-verbal until the age of 3 1/2 (for some reason that matters)..now 1st grade straight A's...no regressions ever....AMAZING. He was diagnosed at the age of 15 months by a neurologist.
Our sixth child, who is 5-still non-verbal. This child has come so far in 3 years of regular education....can write and spell any word you want. No regressions, only progressions...AMAZING. He was diagnosed at the age of 1 year by the neurologist.
I believe the autistic child can improve without any chemical interventions.... Save your money...save your sanity.....
We have had autism in our house since 1991...none of our children have regressed in any point of their lives. They have only excelled and become better people.. I thank all of those involved in their lives.
I thank all of those who let them be themselves.
Our Autistic children will become Autistic adults. They will be productive and continue to learn new things and to progress in their lives.
They will grow up to be AMAZING people-
and that my friends, we have no doubt about.
To My Sisters and Brothers...
I have been given permission, by one 8 year old family member, to post this poem she wrote for me to put on my blog.....
When I get home every day
I think about things.
I particularly think
About why my sisters and my brothers
Have Autism
And Aspergers as well.
That they can fit into this world,
And have friends like me
who does not judge them.
Why I am the only one who doesn't have it?
I still think that is Fine.....
Meaghan-To my Brothers and Sisters
You see, this is a child who is compassionate to all of the children around her that no one else takes the time or energy to accept. This is a child who has learned, from living in our family, that different is Fine.
This is a little 8-year-old girl who wants to take what she has learned and talk to others about it. I told her we could do that.
To let other siblings of autistic children know that it is okay to have autism and still belong to a family.
Meaghan still has her own activities, as they all do.
She has Girl Scouts, dance class, Sunday School, sleepovers, birthday parties, etc.
She is popular and well-liked by all: Friends, parent's, teacher's, etc.
We are so proud to have raised such a caring, smart, and loving child.
I hope we have done her proud...
I know she has made us much more than that....
When I get home every day
I think about things.
I particularly think
About why my sisters and my brothers
Have Autism
And Aspergers as well.
That they can fit into this world,
And have friends like me
who does not judge them.
Why I am the only one who doesn't have it?
I still think that is Fine.....
Meaghan-To my Brothers and Sisters
You see, this is a child who is compassionate to all of the children around her that no one else takes the time or energy to accept. This is a child who has learned, from living in our family, that different is Fine.
This is a little 8-year-old girl who wants to take what she has learned and talk to others about it. I told her we could do that.
To let other siblings of autistic children know that it is okay to have autism and still belong to a family.
Meaghan still has her own activities, as they all do.
She has Girl Scouts, dance class, Sunday School, sleepovers, birthday parties, etc.
She is popular and well-liked by all: Friends, parent's, teacher's, etc.
We are so proud to have raised such a caring, smart, and loving child.
I hope we have done her proud...
I know she has made us much more than that....
Monday, October 02, 2006
Now I Am Neglectful...
It has been brought to my attention, because I will not negate myself to reading a certain blog, that I am now being mentioned as a Neglectful Mother...
Okay, now we have drawn the line.
I will admit to alot of things.
I will admit to:
1. being a bad friend.
2. loving Deal or No Deal a wee bit too much.
3. hating soap operas.
4. spending too much time volunteering at school-during school hours.
5. watching Dr. Phil.
But, I will never, ever admit to being a neglectful mother...
I ask these people:
Would I be neglectful if....
I stayed up all night because my daughter cannot sleep with a runny nose?
I held my son's hand as he confronted a bully before school started...they made nice in case you were wondering?
I fix 4 different meals every night because my children have different tastes and sensory diversions?
I spent 2 hours with an ABC board, because my son loves to spell out words?
I boast because these lovely kids can live in our world without needing to change a Damn thing about them??????
I do not spend alot of time on the computer...I blog daily, it is my diary.
For those of you who like it, thank you.
For those of you who don't, who cares?????
I wonder why people need to negate me to make themselves feel better? I wonder why parent's who disagree with me seem to want to call me names? Is your life so small and do you feel so badly about your child or children that you need to try to make me feel bad?
Believe me, that will not happen.....
After our first child was diagnosed many years ago (12, to be exact), my husband and I made the decision that she would be treated as if we had a " normal" child. We put her in regular school, and thank goodness they allowed this.
After 2, 3, 4 and 5 autistic children, the school accepted them. Partly due, excuse my bragging, to the fact that my husband and myself were always available for any problems and/or praise. We have and always will be hands-on parents.
We are involved with every aspect of their education. We expect our children to do well in school....guess what? They do!
It is not so hard.
If you treat a person like a person...they behave that way.
Just because we do not believe that hating autism is the "way to go" way...does not mean we care or neglect our children in any way.
I will be called alot of things in my life,
I will face alot more challenges than those that have come before me.
But, One thing I will never, ever be is
A Neglectful Mom....
And for the record:
How is my agreeing with Soapbox Mom any different from the people who agree with Mr. Best?
Okay, now we have drawn the line.
I will admit to alot of things.
I will admit to:
1. being a bad friend.
2. loving Deal or No Deal a wee bit too much.
3. hating soap operas.
4. spending too much time volunteering at school-during school hours.
5. watching Dr. Phil.
But, I will never, ever admit to being a neglectful mother...
I ask these people:
Would I be neglectful if....
I stayed up all night because my daughter cannot sleep with a runny nose?
I held my son's hand as he confronted a bully before school started...they made nice in case you were wondering?
I fix 4 different meals every night because my children have different tastes and sensory diversions?
I spent 2 hours with an ABC board, because my son loves to spell out words?
I boast because these lovely kids can live in our world without needing to change a Damn thing about them??????
I do not spend alot of time on the computer...I blog daily, it is my diary.
For those of you who like it, thank you.
For those of you who don't, who cares?????
I wonder why people need to negate me to make themselves feel better? I wonder why parent's who disagree with me seem to want to call me names? Is your life so small and do you feel so badly about your child or children that you need to try to make me feel bad?
Believe me, that will not happen.....
After our first child was diagnosed many years ago (12, to be exact), my husband and I made the decision that she would be treated as if we had a " normal" child. We put her in regular school, and thank goodness they allowed this.
After 2, 3, 4 and 5 autistic children, the school accepted them. Partly due, excuse my bragging, to the fact that my husband and myself were always available for any problems and/or praise. We have and always will be hands-on parents.
We are involved with every aspect of their education. We expect our children to do well in school....guess what? They do!
It is not so hard.
If you treat a person like a person...they behave that way.
Just because we do not believe that hating autism is the "way to go" way...does not mean we care or neglect our children in any way.
I will be called alot of things in my life,
I will face alot more challenges than those that have come before me.
But, One thing I will never, ever be is
A Neglectful Mom....
And for the record:
How is my agreeing with Soapbox Mom any different from the people who agree with Mr. Best?
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Pissing People Off.....
Just ask my husband...I have a real problem of pissing people off. I don't mean to, but there goes my mouth, opened wide, and telling them what I think.
I just don't have time to beat around the bush...
So...here it goes...I am about to piss alot of people off....
I am so tired of reading how we parent's of autistic children who have decided to "accept" our children are demeaned by Biomedical FANATICS. And yes, you are fanatics. You idolize your doctors, for example, Dr. Andrew Wakefield, Dr. Buttar, Dr. Krigsman, Dr. McCandless, Dr. Jepson, etc, etc, etc....
You brag about all of the interventions you inject, ingest and insist your children take. You talk about how much money you spend and how far you have to travel. You boast about the fact that your child regresses when the metals are extracted (whatever!!!) from their bodies. You tell everyone who will listen how you cannot tell any difference now, but are sure it will be worth it in the long run.....
These people are put on such high pedestals, there noses are constantly bleeding.
And forget about ABA, HBOT, Chelation, B12 shots, yadda, yadda, yadda....
Do you have any clue how much time we get to spend with our children as human beings and not as guinea pigs for medical science...or for some doctor to get fame or notoriety to "cure" autism? Do you know how wonderful our children are thriving in our communities and in our schools and not having one chemical injested in them? Do you realize how happy our marriages are because we do not fight about the cost of these interventions and where the Hell we are going to get the money to pay for them?
Do you really think you love your children any more because you want to "cure" them, or because you spend endless amounts of time and energy to change their behaviors?
The time, energy and money you put into the doctors and therapists pockets is wasted. You will see no more improvement in your children than we have seen in ours in the last 12 years.
Instead of putting tee shirts on your children that read "I am not bad, I have autism" they should read" I am not bad, I have been injected with enough chemicals to alter my behavior"....
I have a bridge in NYC that I would like to show you????
Interested????
I told you, I am good at pissing people off.....
I just don't have time to beat around the bush...
So...here it goes...I am about to piss alot of people off....
I am so tired of reading how we parent's of autistic children who have decided to "accept" our children are demeaned by Biomedical FANATICS. And yes, you are fanatics. You idolize your doctors, for example, Dr. Andrew Wakefield, Dr. Buttar, Dr. Krigsman, Dr. McCandless, Dr. Jepson, etc, etc, etc....
You brag about all of the interventions you inject, ingest and insist your children take. You talk about how much money you spend and how far you have to travel. You boast about the fact that your child regresses when the metals are extracted (whatever!!!) from their bodies. You tell everyone who will listen how you cannot tell any difference now, but are sure it will be worth it in the long run.....
These people are put on such high pedestals, there noses are constantly bleeding.
And forget about ABA, HBOT, Chelation, B12 shots, yadda, yadda, yadda....
Do you have any clue how much time we get to spend with our children as human beings and not as guinea pigs for medical science...or for some doctor to get fame or notoriety to "cure" autism? Do you know how wonderful our children are thriving in our communities and in our schools and not having one chemical injested in them? Do you realize how happy our marriages are because we do not fight about the cost of these interventions and where the Hell we are going to get the money to pay for them?
Do you really think you love your children any more because you want to "cure" them, or because you spend endless amounts of time and energy to change their behaviors?
The time, energy and money you put into the doctors and therapists pockets is wasted. You will see no more improvement in your children than we have seen in ours in the last 12 years.
Instead of putting tee shirts on your children that read "I am not bad, I have autism" they should read" I am not bad, I have been injected with enough chemicals to alter my behavior"....
I have a bridge in NYC that I would like to show you????
Interested????
I told you, I am good at pissing people off.....
A Better Friend...
I have never been a great friend. I was always pretty self-absorbed. Then I got married and devoted alot of time to that. Next came 6 children in 10 years. More devotion to the family...less for friends.
Then came the autism diagnosis times 5...that took alot of time.
Don't get me wrong, I always have had alot of friends. People who I find different things in common with. None of my friends are alike...all unique. Most of them don't know each other, or don't like each other....but, they all like me (isn't that what counts?).
On April 1, of this year, my best friend died. She had a stroke in the middle of the night and never woke up. She left behind a husband and 4 children (the youngest being autistic). This devastated me...this made me rethink everything.
Then, on July 3, of this year...my very good friend tells me she has ALS. Now, this is a 42 year old mother of a 7 year old son. She has a devoted husband and she is an equally devoted mother and wife.
With this diagnosis, I have decided to become a better friend. Not just with her, but with all my friends.
I want these friends of mine to know I love them and adore them. That I am glad they chose me to be in their lives. That they enough of me and my family to include me in their world.
Friday morning, I woke up and got my children off to school. I headed back home at 8 am and started dough for a Challah bread (my friend Nancy is Jewish and with a sick mother, would not have time to buy one before Yom Kippur). I returned to school at 8:30 am (after getting Caitlin on the bus) to watch Kiernan in the circus-he was the STRONG MAN---very funny By the way.
At 9:30 am I punched down the dough for a second rising. I put up some dishes and laundry.
At 10:30 am I braided and baked the Challah bread.
I delivered the bread to Nancy, by foot, at 11 am.....
I then walked directly over to my friends house, the one with ALS...she was getting a IVIG treatment in home...she had been sick all night.
I sat with her while she received this IV....she got desperately ill and had to be taken to the hospital....
I felt helpless.
What would a good friend do?
I ran, not walked, back to school and talked to the school counselor....it helped.
Yesterday, they let my friend come home ( I cannot name her because of confidentiality-no one but me and another friend knows)...she sounded 1000% better....so good in fact, she has asked me to bake her my oatmeal cookies she loves so much....
I will gladly do this for her....
I would do anything for her...
Then came the autism diagnosis times 5...that took alot of time.
Don't get me wrong, I always have had alot of friends. People who I find different things in common with. None of my friends are alike...all unique. Most of them don't know each other, or don't like each other....but, they all like me (isn't that what counts?).
On April 1, of this year, my best friend died. She had a stroke in the middle of the night and never woke up. She left behind a husband and 4 children (the youngest being autistic). This devastated me...this made me rethink everything.
Then, on July 3, of this year...my very good friend tells me she has ALS. Now, this is a 42 year old mother of a 7 year old son. She has a devoted husband and she is an equally devoted mother and wife.
With this diagnosis, I have decided to become a better friend. Not just with her, but with all my friends.
I want these friends of mine to know I love them and adore them. That I am glad they chose me to be in their lives. That they enough of me and my family to include me in their world.
Friday morning, I woke up and got my children off to school. I headed back home at 8 am and started dough for a Challah bread (my friend Nancy is Jewish and with a sick mother, would not have time to buy one before Yom Kippur). I returned to school at 8:30 am (after getting Caitlin on the bus) to watch Kiernan in the circus-he was the STRONG MAN---very funny By the way.
At 9:30 am I punched down the dough for a second rising. I put up some dishes and laundry.
At 10:30 am I braided and baked the Challah bread.
I delivered the bread to Nancy, by foot, at 11 am.....
I then walked directly over to my friends house, the one with ALS...she was getting a IVIG treatment in home...she had been sick all night.
I sat with her while she received this IV....she got desperately ill and had to be taken to the hospital....
I felt helpless.
What would a good friend do?
I ran, not walked, back to school and talked to the school counselor....it helped.
Yesterday, they let my friend come home ( I cannot name her because of confidentiality-no one but me and another friend knows)...she sounded 1000% better....so good in fact, she has asked me to bake her my oatmeal cookies she loves so much....
I will gladly do this for her....
I would do anything for her...
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Report Card Day...
Yesterday, in the mail, we received report cards for 2 of our 6 children. High school and middle schools are every 6 weeks and elementary is 9 weeks at reporting grades.
I tore open the perforated cards....I always loved report card day, and still do....
Deirdre was first...
Orchestra-93
Science-95
PE-100
TX GEOGRAPHY AND HISTORY-95
MATH-90
ENGLISH LANG ART & RD-91
CHOIR-94
Yes Straight A's.
Now Caitlin....
PE-99
WORLD GEOGRAPHY-86
ART-98
DEV SOCIAL SKILLS-80
ENGLISH-84
STUDY SKILLS-80
MATH-92
Yes A's and B's.....
I am so proud, I could bust.
Not bad for a severely autistic 15 year old and a 12 year old with Asperger's......
But, I really did not expect anything less from them...
I tore open the perforated cards....I always loved report card day, and still do....
Deirdre was first...
Orchestra-93
Science-95
PE-100
TX GEOGRAPHY AND HISTORY-95
MATH-90
ENGLISH LANG ART & RD-91
CHOIR-94
Yes Straight A's.
Now Caitlin....
PE-99
WORLD GEOGRAPHY-86
ART-98
DEV SOCIAL SKILLS-80
ENGLISH-84
STUDY SKILLS-80
MATH-92
Yes A's and B's.....
I am so proud, I could bust.
Not bad for a severely autistic 15 year old and a 12 year old with Asperger's......
But, I really did not expect anything less from them...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
A Better Me....
I arrived at the church yesterday, expecting to see a room full of depressing, hopeless individuals.
Instead, I found a room full of dignity and grace.
You see, my friend told me last month she was diagnosed with ALS (better known as Lou Gehrig's Disease).
My first reaction is okay, let me read about it, and let's take care of it. As I read, the first paragraph states,"upon diagnosis of ALS, the patient usually lives 3-5 years".......3 TO 5 YEARS.......
So, basically, when you get the diagnosis, you get a death sentence.
How is that possible for a 42 year old mother of one? How is that possible for a wife and caretaker of a family?
Now, I never question God....I did not question him when he took my father at the young age of 55. I did not question him when five of our children received the autism diagnosis. I did not question him when I miscarried 2 babies. But, this is beyond belief for me.
So, in my quest for a cure for my friend, I found a local support group in Austin. I found ALSA.
I spoke with the social worker, who was an amazing ray of light for me. She answered all of my questions, whether she felt they were silly or stupid....most were I am sure....
So, into this meeting room I went.
Inside were some people afflicted with ALS, caretakers, and family members. We went around and introduced ourselves. My friend did not come with me....she is not ready.
I met 3 gentlemen with ALS. 3 of the most handsome men I have ever met. When they spoke, they spoke like dignitaries. They were, at one time, a professor, a contractor, and a publisher. These are brilliant minds.
I met 1 woman with ALS...still gorgeous and loved adoringly by her present husband and mother.
I met siblings, wives, daughters of these men and woman. I was taken aback by their committment and ability to stand strong, even in the wake of ALS.
Funny thing, when I left, I did not feel depressed.....I did not feel sad....I felt empowered. I felt all the crap that I had been upset about before this encounter was petty and not worth any more of my time.
I removed myself from the Austin Autism Support Group....I would get depressed every time I read about another autistic child being given more treatments. I no longer have to deal with that. I feel cleansed.
I now feel all of my devotion and time will be given to those who really need me....I will love my children even more (if that is possible), I will adore my husband even more(which I already do), I will be a much better friend than I ever was (it was mostly about me, in the past), I will be a much better daughter (which I never was)......
What I took out of this meeting was A Much Better Me.........
Instead, I found a room full of dignity and grace.
You see, my friend told me last month she was diagnosed with ALS (better known as Lou Gehrig's Disease).
My first reaction is okay, let me read about it, and let's take care of it. As I read, the first paragraph states,"upon diagnosis of ALS, the patient usually lives 3-5 years".......3 TO 5 YEARS.......
So, basically, when you get the diagnosis, you get a death sentence.
How is that possible for a 42 year old mother of one? How is that possible for a wife and caretaker of a family?
Now, I never question God....I did not question him when he took my father at the young age of 55. I did not question him when five of our children received the autism diagnosis. I did not question him when I miscarried 2 babies. But, this is beyond belief for me.
So, in my quest for a cure for my friend, I found a local support group in Austin. I found ALSA.
I spoke with the social worker, who was an amazing ray of light for me. She answered all of my questions, whether she felt they were silly or stupid....most were I am sure....
So, into this meeting room I went.
Inside were some people afflicted with ALS, caretakers, and family members. We went around and introduced ourselves. My friend did not come with me....she is not ready.
I met 3 gentlemen with ALS. 3 of the most handsome men I have ever met. When they spoke, they spoke like dignitaries. They were, at one time, a professor, a contractor, and a publisher. These are brilliant minds.
I met 1 woman with ALS...still gorgeous and loved adoringly by her present husband and mother.
I met siblings, wives, daughters of these men and woman. I was taken aback by their committment and ability to stand strong, even in the wake of ALS.
Funny thing, when I left, I did not feel depressed.....I did not feel sad....I felt empowered. I felt all the crap that I had been upset about before this encounter was petty and not worth any more of my time.
I removed myself from the Austin Autism Support Group....I would get depressed every time I read about another autistic child being given more treatments. I no longer have to deal with that. I feel cleansed.
I now feel all of my devotion and time will be given to those who really need me....I will love my children even more (if that is possible), I will adore my husband even more(which I already do), I will be a much better friend than I ever was (it was mostly about me, in the past), I will be a much better daughter (which I never was)......
What I took out of this meeting was A Much Better Me.........
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
My Little Genius...
My youngest son, Kiernan, is 5 years old. He is tall and skinny. He is constant motion. He has the greatest smile I have ever seen. He has dark curly hair and gorgeous blue eyes. He is magnificent.
Kiernan, as many of you know, is also non-verbal. He does not use words at all. Yet, he has no problem in getting his opinion heard or his needs met.
His teacher, Mrs. Kelly, is the first to brag on him for anything he does. She is amazed by him all the time.
Kelly ran to me the other day to tell me that Kiernan is spelling out words with his ABC letters.
Last week, Kiernan reached into his little bag of letters and one letter at a time....M....A....S....H...he wrote.
MASH? she thought. What the heck is MASH?
When she asked me the next day, she was relieved to know the answer. MASH is his favorite show. Yes, that MASH with Alan Alda. He loves the theme song.
He knows what he likes and like I said, he lets you know also.
So now, every day when he spells out his word MASH, Mrs. Kelly joyfully hums the theme song and Kiernan laughs the best belly laugh he can.
Now that is pure genius.
Kiernan, as many of you know, is also non-verbal. He does not use words at all. Yet, he has no problem in getting his opinion heard or his needs met.
His teacher, Mrs. Kelly, is the first to brag on him for anything he does. She is amazed by him all the time.
Kelly ran to me the other day to tell me that Kiernan is spelling out words with his ABC letters.
Last week, Kiernan reached into his little bag of letters and one letter at a time....M....A....S....H...he wrote.
MASH? she thought. What the heck is MASH?
When she asked me the next day, she was relieved to know the answer. MASH is his favorite show. Yes, that MASH with Alan Alda. He loves the theme song.
He knows what he likes and like I said, he lets you know also.
So now, every day when he spells out his word MASH, Mrs. Kelly joyfully hums the theme song and Kiernan laughs the best belly laugh he can.
Now that is pure genius.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Give Credit Where Credit Is Due...
I am not a complex woman...many of you have figured this out. I need very little in life to make me happy.
I get up every morning and hope life gives me little grief. Sometimes, I am not so lucky. Sometimes, I am.....
Today, I got lucky...
I had my daughter's yearly ARD, or Admission Review Dismissal meeting at school. This time, it was Erin's...our 9 (almost 10) year old's.
She started at this elementary school in 1999, at the age of 3. She went in a screaming, anti-social, sensory-deprived, autistic child. She needed constant supervision and care.
Today, she is a self-motivated, self-assured, loving, adored-by-all little girl.
The school tried to my husband and I all of the credit for this today. But, in my great widsom (wink, wink), I corrected them.
In a haze of tears, I told them that my child would not be anywhere near where she is today without them. Without them, she would have been put in an atmosphere of negativity.
With them, she has been allowed to learn and grow amongst peers who are not disabled. She has learned how to be accepting and they have learned to accept her. Through all of this, we have received a smart (straight A, honor roll) student, a loving daughter, a caring sister, and a honorable human.
As her 4th grade teacher so proudly told us, "Erin has a power within her that is unexplainable, she just is a very special human being....I am so glad to know her".
Through my tears, as I held the hand of a woman who has been her speech teacher for 7 years, I thanked these educators, therapists and women.....I gave them the credit they deserve....
I get up every morning and hope life gives me little grief. Sometimes, I am not so lucky. Sometimes, I am.....
Today, I got lucky...
I had my daughter's yearly ARD, or Admission Review Dismissal meeting at school. This time, it was Erin's...our 9 (almost 10) year old's.
She started at this elementary school in 1999, at the age of 3. She went in a screaming, anti-social, sensory-deprived, autistic child. She needed constant supervision and care.
Today, she is a self-motivated, self-assured, loving, adored-by-all little girl.
The school tried to my husband and I all of the credit for this today. But, in my great widsom (wink, wink), I corrected them.
In a haze of tears, I told them that my child would not be anywhere near where she is today without them. Without them, she would have been put in an atmosphere of negativity.
With them, she has been allowed to learn and grow amongst peers who are not disabled. She has learned how to be accepting and they have learned to accept her. Through all of this, we have received a smart (straight A, honor roll) student, a loving daughter, a caring sister, and a honorable human.
As her 4th grade teacher so proudly told us, "Erin has a power within her that is unexplainable, she just is a very special human being....I am so glad to know her".
Through my tears, as I held the hand of a woman who has been her speech teacher for 7 years, I thanked these educators, therapists and women.....I gave them the credit they deserve....
Saturday, September 23, 2006
I'm Not A Doctor, but.....
I am not a doctor, but I play one in an autism forum and/or chat room.
Go to any autism forum or chat room and you will find parent's asking other parent's for doses of biomedical treatments, chelation supplements, vitamins, minerals, B12 shots, etc.
What surprises me even more is the fact that people actually think they are asking "experts" in this area. Just because you treated your child biomedically, does not give you the right to tell another mother or father how to treat their children.
I know, I know...biomedical parent's feel they are "helping, curing, recovering, healing, and so on an so on" their children.
I witnessed, first hand, the wonderful effects ABA has on a severely autistic child. This child has been with an ABA therapist for 2 years. He pushes, shoves, hits, strips naked, screams, etc. He is redirected by being told to sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, several times.
That did a world of good.
Soon after, he went over and punched my severely autistic little boy (who by the way, is not violent or prone to temper tantrums in any way) in the nose.
All of our autistic children are very well behaved out in public. They do not need to wear tee shirts to further exploit them by telling everyone they are autistic.
And more amazing...they are not chelated, treated biomedically, given a GFCF diet, redirected with ABA, or any thing else.
My children's typical day is as follows:
They are awoken in the morning.
They go to the restroom and brush their teeth.
They come downstairs for pancakes, waffles, biscuits, eggs, bacon or sausage (just for examples).
They get dressed.
They head out the door for school.
After school:
They do their homework.
They play outside with their friends.
They come in and eat dinner (roast, steak, chicken, potatoes, rice, greens (again, just for examples).
At bedtime:
They take a shower.
They dress themselves for bed.
They read a book.
We say our prays.
They close their eyes and they
Go to sleep.
I feel no need to fill a needle up in the middle of the night to sneak a shot in any of my children.
Autism fills our house. It fills our house with unconditional love and happiness...I guess because we don't feel the need to be unexcepting of who our children are...
But then again, I am not a doctor......
Go to any autism forum or chat room and you will find parent's asking other parent's for doses of biomedical treatments, chelation supplements, vitamins, minerals, B12 shots, etc.
What surprises me even more is the fact that people actually think they are asking "experts" in this area. Just because you treated your child biomedically, does not give you the right to tell another mother or father how to treat their children.
I know, I know...biomedical parent's feel they are "helping, curing, recovering, healing, and so on an so on" their children.
I witnessed, first hand, the wonderful effects ABA has on a severely autistic child. This child has been with an ABA therapist for 2 years. He pushes, shoves, hits, strips naked, screams, etc. He is redirected by being told to sit down, stand up, sit down, stand up, several times.
That did a world of good.
Soon after, he went over and punched my severely autistic little boy (who by the way, is not violent or prone to temper tantrums in any way) in the nose.
All of our autistic children are very well behaved out in public. They do not need to wear tee shirts to further exploit them by telling everyone they are autistic.
And more amazing...they are not chelated, treated biomedically, given a GFCF diet, redirected with ABA, or any thing else.
My children's typical day is as follows:
They are awoken in the morning.
They go to the restroom and brush their teeth.
They come downstairs for pancakes, waffles, biscuits, eggs, bacon or sausage (just for examples).
They get dressed.
They head out the door for school.
After school:
They do their homework.
They play outside with their friends.
They come in and eat dinner (roast, steak, chicken, potatoes, rice, greens (again, just for examples).
At bedtime:
They take a shower.
They dress themselves for bed.
They read a book.
We say our prays.
They close their eyes and they
Go to sleep.
I feel no need to fill a needle up in the middle of the night to sneak a shot in any of my children.
Autism fills our house. It fills our house with unconditional love and happiness...I guess because we don't feel the need to be unexcepting of who our children are...
But then again, I am not a doctor......
Friday, September 22, 2006
Autism....
I have real issues with the word Autism. I guess it is because we have 5 people in this house with the diagnosis.
Autism to me has been so negated. The word autism has taken legitamite people and made them a definition.
Medical doctors, and I truly question their credentials, have taken children who would never have fit the realm of autism and put them there.
And then, here comes the parent's. The ones that think they will fix or cure their children. The one's that read everything there is to read about autism. Whether it be true or not. The ones that cannot or will not have a child that is not the child they thought they should have gotten.
What did I ever do to deserve an autistic child????
I will tell you what autism is in our home....
Autism is...
1. beauty...in every one of the faces in our home.
2. intelligence...in the fact that every one of our children are the smartest people I know.
3. radiance...in the light that shines from the smiles of all of our children.
4. joy...in the fact that my children have never known pain inflicted from anyone who is supposed to love them.
5. respect...given to them from every person who meets them. Because Patrick and I will not except anything but....
Autism in our home is the norm..it is what our children have. Autism does not define our children, it is just part of them.
When I read posts, forums, support groups,etc from other parent's of autistic children, I get the feeling the parent's of these children were expecting a better child. A child that would be less trouble. A child who would be of higher quality.
I would not trade my children or their autism for anyone or anything. I know they will thrive no matter what.
You see, autism is not the end of the world in our home....it is the beginning of better things. It is what we are....and that is really OK...
Autism to me has been so negated. The word autism has taken legitamite people and made them a definition.
Medical doctors, and I truly question their credentials, have taken children who would never have fit the realm of autism and put them there.
And then, here comes the parent's. The ones that think they will fix or cure their children. The one's that read everything there is to read about autism. Whether it be true or not. The ones that cannot or will not have a child that is not the child they thought they should have gotten.
What did I ever do to deserve an autistic child????
I will tell you what autism is in our home....
Autism is...
1. beauty...in every one of the faces in our home.
2. intelligence...in the fact that every one of our children are the smartest people I know.
3. radiance...in the light that shines from the smiles of all of our children.
4. joy...in the fact that my children have never known pain inflicted from anyone who is supposed to love them.
5. respect...given to them from every person who meets them. Because Patrick and I will not except anything but....
Autism in our home is the norm..it is what our children have. Autism does not define our children, it is just part of them.
When I read posts, forums, support groups,etc from other parent's of autistic children, I get the feeling the parent's of these children were expecting a better child. A child that would be less trouble. A child who would be of higher quality.
I would not trade my children or their autism for anyone or anything. I know they will thrive no matter what.
You see, autism is not the end of the world in our home....it is the beginning of better things. It is what we are....and that is really OK...
Comfort Food....
I am so excited Fall is here. I love to cook and I love to cook comfort food, such as stews, soups, chili, breads, muffins, cookies, etc.
I know what you are thinking...I live in Texas. And yes, Fall is still 90 degrees. But, in my mind, it is 45 degrees outside and I am cooking COMFORT FOOD.
As of right now, I have an oven full of homemade M & M cookies. Next up, chocolate chip. I have promised the teacher's I would make them, and I always keep my promises.
My kids love when we cook these foods. I hope I am giving them the memories I have when I cook them. I hope when they grow up they will get a happy feeling when they make these foods, just like I do when I make them.
In September, we attempt to make homemade pretzels and bagels in the oven. The children shape the pretzels into the most amazing designs. What artistic children I have raised....have no idea where they get it.
On Halloween, we have bowls of chili with cheese cut out like Jack-O-Lantern's. Last Halloween, we had 89 degree weather. But, chili we had, because my kids expect it.
On Thanksgiving, we make 3 turkeys, 1 ham and 1 roast beef. We usually have friends and their families over. Mostly neighbors and old friends. Last year we had 30 people at one time at our home. It was magic. Lots of food from lots of beautiful people.
On Christmas, we make 2 turkeys, 2 roasts, and 1 ham. Again, lots of friends and neighbors. Kind of an open house. The house smells like heaven.
Christmas in our house is not about the gifts. My children each get one big item they ask for and many little items they don't expect. They are not greedy kids. They love to open their presents and then share them with their siblings and friends.
I guess that is why comfort food means so much to me....I can relate all the good memories in my life to the smells and tastes of the food my Mother and Father made to make me feel so special.
I hope these are the same memories I can give to my children.....memories of comfort and love...
Even if it is through the bite of an M & M cookie.....
I know what you are thinking...I live in Texas. And yes, Fall is still 90 degrees. But, in my mind, it is 45 degrees outside and I am cooking COMFORT FOOD.
As of right now, I have an oven full of homemade M & M cookies. Next up, chocolate chip. I have promised the teacher's I would make them, and I always keep my promises.
My kids love when we cook these foods. I hope I am giving them the memories I have when I cook them. I hope when they grow up they will get a happy feeling when they make these foods, just like I do when I make them.
In September, we attempt to make homemade pretzels and bagels in the oven. The children shape the pretzels into the most amazing designs. What artistic children I have raised....have no idea where they get it.
On Halloween, we have bowls of chili with cheese cut out like Jack-O-Lantern's. Last Halloween, we had 89 degree weather. But, chili we had, because my kids expect it.
On Thanksgiving, we make 3 turkeys, 1 ham and 1 roast beef. We usually have friends and their families over. Mostly neighbors and old friends. Last year we had 30 people at one time at our home. It was magic. Lots of food from lots of beautiful people.
On Christmas, we make 2 turkeys, 2 roasts, and 1 ham. Again, lots of friends and neighbors. Kind of an open house. The house smells like heaven.
Christmas in our house is not about the gifts. My children each get one big item they ask for and many little items they don't expect. They are not greedy kids. They love to open their presents and then share them with their siblings and friends.
I guess that is why comfort food means so much to me....I can relate all the good memories in my life to the smells and tastes of the food my Mother and Father made to make me feel so special.
I hope these are the same memories I can give to my children.....memories of comfort and love...
Even if it is through the bite of an M & M cookie.....
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Munchausen by Autism...a satire?
I have come upon a disturbing trend amongst parent's of some autistic children. They call themselves "Recoverer's", but there is a whole underlying method to their madness....
I have pulled off of a pro-biochemical sight the following regimen of one such mother about her 3 1/2 year old child....no names are necessary, there are several of these parent's out there...
"I have used IV chelation, suppository chelation, oral chelation, transdermal chelation, all the minerals and supplements, yeast/bacteria aides, IVIG infusions for his immune system, HBOT, GFCF and the removal of 11 other foods."
Am I the only one that finds this frightening and highly suspicious?
Am I the only one who feels so badly for this little 3 1/2 year old boy, who has yet a chance to even enjoy life?
I find it very disturbing that ANY doctor (?) would allow so much to be done at such an early age.
Sadder yet,this child is just beginning his ordeal....supposedly he is recovered. I do not understand the term "recovered" if these parent's continue to put their children in such dangerous procedures.
Then to brag about it and have a whole fanbase of parent's is even more disturbing. "Lookie to what I am doing to my child, to remove the mercury from his little body".....
What about all of the chemicals that are being put into his little body? Or, the good metals being pulled out? But, unfortunately, to this little boy and many other children, this is the "normal".
I have recently read on an Autism Support Forum one mother ask if she should scope her 3 year old daughter, because of stomach aches. Amazingly, one of the more rational mother's brought up the fact that she has her on certain supplements, maybe that is causing the pain--Ya Think??????
The mother replied she should do the scope any way, to rule out anything else. This is for her NT child......DOES ANYONE ELSE GET WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY??????
I cannot approach any of these "parent's", because they do not know the art of discussion. Only tacky jabs at those who do not agree with them.
I have spent way too much energy on these people. I need to give this energy to my children...
I shall now pray and hope the medical community "gets a clue" and stops allowing all of these procedures on young children. I will continue to pray for the recovery of these precious angels so their ordeals will end. I will pray the parent's finally look at them and are satisfied with who they are and whom they have the potential of becoming......
I have pulled off of a pro-biochemical sight the following regimen of one such mother about her 3 1/2 year old child....no names are necessary, there are several of these parent's out there...
"I have used IV chelation, suppository chelation, oral chelation, transdermal chelation, all the minerals and supplements, yeast/bacteria aides, IVIG infusions for his immune system, HBOT, GFCF and the removal of 11 other foods."
Am I the only one that finds this frightening and highly suspicious?
Am I the only one who feels so badly for this little 3 1/2 year old boy, who has yet a chance to even enjoy life?
I find it very disturbing that ANY doctor (?) would allow so much to be done at such an early age.
Sadder yet,this child is just beginning his ordeal....supposedly he is recovered. I do not understand the term "recovered" if these parent's continue to put their children in such dangerous procedures.
Then to brag about it and have a whole fanbase of parent's is even more disturbing. "Lookie to what I am doing to my child, to remove the mercury from his little body".....
What about all of the chemicals that are being put into his little body? Or, the good metals being pulled out? But, unfortunately, to this little boy and many other children, this is the "normal".
I have recently read on an Autism Support Forum one mother ask if she should scope her 3 year old daughter, because of stomach aches. Amazingly, one of the more rational mother's brought up the fact that she has her on certain supplements, maybe that is causing the pain--Ya Think??????
The mother replied she should do the scope any way, to rule out anything else. This is for her NT child......DOES ANYONE ELSE GET WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY??????
I cannot approach any of these "parent's", because they do not know the art of discussion. Only tacky jabs at those who do not agree with them.
I have spent way too much energy on these people. I need to give this energy to my children...
I shall now pray and hope the medical community "gets a clue" and stops allowing all of these procedures on young children. I will continue to pray for the recovery of these precious angels so their ordeals will end. I will pray the parent's finally look at them and are satisfied with who they are and whom they have the potential of becoming......
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
The Road To Recovery....
I would not be myself if I did not blog on this subject. It has eaten away at me for many years and now I must respond MY OPINIONS on MY BLOG.
I have asked many people, ie: doctors, mother's, therapist's, etc. to please show me a child "recovered" from autism. I get many responses and many sites to view.
All I end up seeing are autistic children. They may have alleviated some symptoms, and the children may have become verbal, but they are still AUTISTIC.
These children still have trouble with vocus, speech, and sensory issues. Some of these children still scream and tantrum beyond the ordinary.
In our house, there are much improvements from when our children were first diagnosed. All of them can sit in a classroom and not be distruptive, with the exception of one. All of them have regained their speech, with the exception of one. All of them go to bed at or before 10pm and sleep through the night. All of them have sensory issues. All of them still require speech therapy. All of them are still AUTISTIC.
Two of our children might require long-term care. I hope not, but that is a possibility. Three of them will go on in life and go far.
Our "normal" little red-headed Meaghan will continue to be just that--
All of this was done without biomedical intervention, diet changes, needles, chambers, creams, lotions, etc. All of this was done through the bodies natural capababity to "recover" itself. All of this was done with very dedicated speech therapists, occupational therapist, and teachers. All of this was done by 5 very hornery and determined children.
My husband and I feel peace knowing this. We have not had to witness regressions in their behaviors when introducing new chemicals into their systems. We did not have to drain our already low bank account, or borrow money from family and friends to pay a doctor whose driving a very nice Lexus. We did not have to be careful not to wake up a child to sneak a shot into their butts, I believe they would thank us for this if they knew that was possible.
I have come to the conclusion in my life, I do not find it necessary to bash anyone. If you believe a certain way, vote a certain way, love a certain way, that is your preogative. I do not wish ill upon anyone. I do not dislike parent's who choose biomedical means to help their children. I do not dislike parent's who chelate their children. I do not dislike parent's who HBOT their children.
I only hope that the bad does not outway the good with these interventions. How do all these additives given to the children leave the body? What about liver, kidney, heart damage? What about the fact these children have to endure all of these procedures for the sake of "RECOVERY".
I invite anyone who questions me about my children to please come and meet them. See for yourself. People that have known my children for years are aware of the progress. They have had the same doctors since they were born and since their diagnosis.
I was asked that maybe they were misdiagnosed. Maybe they have ADHD. With the exception of our youngest, our children are not hyperactive at all. We have been examined by some of the finest pediatric neurologists in the country. We have been examined by the University of Washington, the University of Pittsburgh, and the fine doctors from AGRE. All came to the same conclusion....Autism. Erin and Patrick were diagnosed with severe autism at their first diagnosis. Now they are PDD-NOS. Still autistic.
I read all I can on autism. I read all the blogs I can find. Pro or Con with what I believe. I read where people write about how much this is costing them, how far they have to drive, how horrific the procedure was, etc.
After reading, I have found the peace of mind to know we went the right road. I am reassured every time I look at my children they are happy, smart, self-assured, friendly, and well-liked. And that to me is what is "RECOVERY"....
I have asked many people, ie: doctors, mother's, therapist's, etc. to please show me a child "recovered" from autism. I get many responses and many sites to view.
All I end up seeing are autistic children. They may have alleviated some symptoms, and the children may have become verbal, but they are still AUTISTIC.
These children still have trouble with vocus, speech, and sensory issues. Some of these children still scream and tantrum beyond the ordinary.
In our house, there are much improvements from when our children were first diagnosed. All of them can sit in a classroom and not be distruptive, with the exception of one. All of them have regained their speech, with the exception of one. All of them go to bed at or before 10pm and sleep through the night. All of them have sensory issues. All of them still require speech therapy. All of them are still AUTISTIC.
Two of our children might require long-term care. I hope not, but that is a possibility. Three of them will go on in life and go far.
Our "normal" little red-headed Meaghan will continue to be just that--
All of this was done without biomedical intervention, diet changes, needles, chambers, creams, lotions, etc. All of this was done through the bodies natural capababity to "recover" itself. All of this was done with very dedicated speech therapists, occupational therapist, and teachers. All of this was done by 5 very hornery and determined children.
My husband and I feel peace knowing this. We have not had to witness regressions in their behaviors when introducing new chemicals into their systems. We did not have to drain our already low bank account, or borrow money from family and friends to pay a doctor whose driving a very nice Lexus. We did not have to be careful not to wake up a child to sneak a shot into their butts, I believe they would thank us for this if they knew that was possible.
I have come to the conclusion in my life, I do not find it necessary to bash anyone. If you believe a certain way, vote a certain way, love a certain way, that is your preogative. I do not wish ill upon anyone. I do not dislike parent's who choose biomedical means to help their children. I do not dislike parent's who chelate their children. I do not dislike parent's who HBOT their children.
I only hope that the bad does not outway the good with these interventions. How do all these additives given to the children leave the body? What about liver, kidney, heart damage? What about the fact these children have to endure all of these procedures for the sake of "RECOVERY".
I invite anyone who questions me about my children to please come and meet them. See for yourself. People that have known my children for years are aware of the progress. They have had the same doctors since they were born and since their diagnosis.
I was asked that maybe they were misdiagnosed. Maybe they have ADHD. With the exception of our youngest, our children are not hyperactive at all. We have been examined by some of the finest pediatric neurologists in the country. We have been examined by the University of Washington, the University of Pittsburgh, and the fine doctors from AGRE. All came to the same conclusion....Autism. Erin and Patrick were diagnosed with severe autism at their first diagnosis. Now they are PDD-NOS. Still autistic.
I read all I can on autism. I read all the blogs I can find. Pro or Con with what I believe. I read where people write about how much this is costing them, how far they have to drive, how horrific the procedure was, etc.
After reading, I have found the peace of mind to know we went the right road. I am reassured every time I look at my children they are happy, smart, self-assured, friendly, and well-liked. And that to me is what is "RECOVERY"....
One Can Only Dream....
I woke up this morning with my 12-year old standing over me...She asks me, "It is 7:10, why are you still asleep?". I told her, "because George Strait and I are grocery shopping together...".
She is our Asperger's child. To Deirdre, I am just plain weird. She is the on-time, can't be late for the bus child.
I told her I had her clothes laid out, go get dressed and I will get you breakfast. We had her out the door by 7:20. Bus came at 7:23. I know she is still mad at me.
But, I cannot help when I dream. I have dreamt big my whole life. I do not dream small dreams. I dream of George, John Travolta, John Goodman (whom I adore by the way), Oprah, Dr. Phil, etc.
I remember every dream and every detail of every dream.
I dreamed that we were on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Ty Pennington showed up, and I refused to answer the door. I did not have a bra on....I won't do that to anyone. Not even Ty......
I dreamt that my parent's and myself were driving in Brooklyn. My father got lost and drove off a cliff (in Brooklyn?). I told them I loved them and would see them later....then the car hit the ground. We all survived.
I live large in real life. I give my all to all that come into our life. I try to be the best friend, wife, mother, daughter that I can be. I was not always this way. I was selfish. It was about me....
Now, I make a conscious effort to make it about others.
We have been blessed with 6 wonderful children. They are all unique and wonderfully blessed with their father's intelligence (thank God).
We have tried to keep the positive in our lives. This means having to rid our lives of toxic people (some of them relatives). We have enough to deal with in our home, we do not need anyone else's dysfunction.
We have an amazing group of friends. People who don't judge us. People who know when we might need a bit of help.
The only family member who is around is my mother. She does the best she can do. It is hard for her to watch her grandchildren. She doesn't understand the autism. But, I give her alot of credit for hanging in there.
The most positive motivator in my life, my husband. He gets up every morning after 4 to 5 hours of sleep, gets us off to school, goes to work. He comes home around 6pm, gets dressed and goes off to his second job. We get to see him on Saturdays. That is our family day...don't mess with us on Saturdays. He is our hero. He has never questioned why his children are autistic. He requires them to be the best they can be, NO MATTER WHAT!!!
I don't dream about having another life, just adding to my already incredible one. I don't dream that George Strait and I are on a date, just grocery shopping together. I don't dream that John Travolta and I are in love, just flying together in an airplane. All innocent meetings in innocent places.
One can only dream......
She is our Asperger's child. To Deirdre, I am just plain weird. She is the on-time, can't be late for the bus child.
I told her I had her clothes laid out, go get dressed and I will get you breakfast. We had her out the door by 7:20. Bus came at 7:23. I know she is still mad at me.
But, I cannot help when I dream. I have dreamt big my whole life. I do not dream small dreams. I dream of George, John Travolta, John Goodman (whom I adore by the way), Oprah, Dr. Phil, etc.
I remember every dream and every detail of every dream.
I dreamed that we were on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Ty Pennington showed up, and I refused to answer the door. I did not have a bra on....I won't do that to anyone. Not even Ty......
I dreamt that my parent's and myself were driving in Brooklyn. My father got lost and drove off a cliff (in Brooklyn?). I told them I loved them and would see them later....then the car hit the ground. We all survived.
I live large in real life. I give my all to all that come into our life. I try to be the best friend, wife, mother, daughter that I can be. I was not always this way. I was selfish. It was about me....
Now, I make a conscious effort to make it about others.
We have been blessed with 6 wonderful children. They are all unique and wonderfully blessed with their father's intelligence (thank God).
We have tried to keep the positive in our lives. This means having to rid our lives of toxic people (some of them relatives). We have enough to deal with in our home, we do not need anyone else's dysfunction.
We have an amazing group of friends. People who don't judge us. People who know when we might need a bit of help.
The only family member who is around is my mother. She does the best she can do. It is hard for her to watch her grandchildren. She doesn't understand the autism. But, I give her alot of credit for hanging in there.
The most positive motivator in my life, my husband. He gets up every morning after 4 to 5 hours of sleep, gets us off to school, goes to work. He comes home around 6pm, gets dressed and goes off to his second job. We get to see him on Saturdays. That is our family day...don't mess with us on Saturdays. He is our hero. He has never questioned why his children are autistic. He requires them to be the best they can be, NO MATTER WHAT!!!
I don't dream about having another life, just adding to my already incredible one. I don't dream that George Strait and I are on a date, just grocery shopping together. I don't dream that John Travolta and I are in love, just flying together in an airplane. All innocent meetings in innocent places.
One can only dream......
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Angels in Disquise...
When our daughter started an Early Childhood program 13 years ago, we were frightened. Our child, who had never left our sight for a moment. Our child, who would be scared and frightened away from her home...as if.
Into our lives entered Mary Allen. The first of many angels disquising themselves as teachers.
Mary reassured us, mostly me, that Caitlin would do fine. And she was right. Caitlin flourished away from the restraints of her overprotective mother. Caitlin showed us she was smart, independent and worthy of an education.
When the school Caitlin was in decided she did not need inclusion, we found a school who wanted to include her.
Enter Gail Laubenthal. She took Caitlin to places we c0uld never have imagined. Caitlin soared. She became part of the classroom. The kids took care of her and reminded her when it was inappropriate to stim. Gail taught them diversity. Thank God for her.
Caitlin continued to get Angels every year. In middle school, she became the young lady we always knew she would be.
Now she is a freshman in high school. Very cool.
Erin started Early Childhood with a great teacher. Ms. Cady was very patient with her. She rubbed her back when she would scream and brushed her when she needed it.
Erin is continuing to have the best education we could ever want. She is succeeding far beyond anyones dreams.
Little Patrick had Ms. Cady also, but by then, she became Mrs. Winslow. She loved him and gave him the nuturing he so needed all the time. I was scared, because he was Mommy's little boy. But he needed more than that. And school gave him what he needed.
Sharon Menn was a light at the end of our tunnel. She taught him to respect others and for others to respect him. This is also true of his Kindergarten teacher Tina Mello. Never a softer voice has spoken.
Now, Kiernan. He came in with a bang. This is a difficult child. Hyperactive, crying, destructive Kiernan.
Enter Kelli Dominguez. The most beautiful angel of them all.
She has made Kiernan a thriving, happy, smart little boy. She looks at him as if he were her own. I can happily say that does not bother me. It makes me smile knowing I can leave him and he is loved. Mrs. Rahman is the teacher's aide in this class. She rubs his feet every day at rest time. I won't even do that for him. Is he spoiled or what?
This does not even count the wonderful and beautiful speech teacher, Marsha Ecklund. She raves about my kids accomplishments as if she were bragging about her own children. How lucky her children are to call her Mom.
And Kari Anderson, the OT who told me to untie my apron strings and let Caitlin show me what she can do. I am glad I listened. She was right.
There are many others who have come and gone in our lives. I am taking the time to thank them all now. They will never know how much they have meant to us and our family. How much they have let our children be just that, children.
For that, I thank them all.
But, I guess that is what ANGELS do.....
Into our lives entered Mary Allen. The first of many angels disquising themselves as teachers.
Mary reassured us, mostly me, that Caitlin would do fine. And she was right. Caitlin flourished away from the restraints of her overprotective mother. Caitlin showed us she was smart, independent and worthy of an education.
When the school Caitlin was in decided she did not need inclusion, we found a school who wanted to include her.
Enter Gail Laubenthal. She took Caitlin to places we c0uld never have imagined. Caitlin soared. She became part of the classroom. The kids took care of her and reminded her when it was inappropriate to stim. Gail taught them diversity. Thank God for her.
Caitlin continued to get Angels every year. In middle school, she became the young lady we always knew she would be.
Now she is a freshman in high school. Very cool.
Erin started Early Childhood with a great teacher. Ms. Cady was very patient with her. She rubbed her back when she would scream and brushed her when she needed it.
Erin is continuing to have the best education we could ever want. She is succeeding far beyond anyones dreams.
Little Patrick had Ms. Cady also, but by then, she became Mrs. Winslow. She loved him and gave him the nuturing he so needed all the time. I was scared, because he was Mommy's little boy. But he needed more than that. And school gave him what he needed.
Sharon Menn was a light at the end of our tunnel. She taught him to respect others and for others to respect him. This is also true of his Kindergarten teacher Tina Mello. Never a softer voice has spoken.
Now, Kiernan. He came in with a bang. This is a difficult child. Hyperactive, crying, destructive Kiernan.
Enter Kelli Dominguez. The most beautiful angel of them all.
She has made Kiernan a thriving, happy, smart little boy. She looks at him as if he were her own. I can happily say that does not bother me. It makes me smile knowing I can leave him and he is loved. Mrs. Rahman is the teacher's aide in this class. She rubs his feet every day at rest time. I won't even do that for him. Is he spoiled or what?
This does not even count the wonderful and beautiful speech teacher, Marsha Ecklund. She raves about my kids accomplishments as if she were bragging about her own children. How lucky her children are to call her Mom.
And Kari Anderson, the OT who told me to untie my apron strings and let Caitlin show me what she can do. I am glad I listened. She was right.
There are many others who have come and gone in our lives. I am taking the time to thank them all now. They will never know how much they have meant to us and our family. How much they have let our children be just that, children.
For that, I thank them all.
But, I guess that is what ANGELS do.....
To Blog, or Not To Blog....
I have kept a journal, ever since I saw the tv movie "Go Ask Alice" in 1971 ( I believe). My sister gave me my first diary on Christmas Day. I diligently started it on New Year's Day. I slept with it under my pillow.
I wrote in my diary ( which became a journal when I entered college), every day for almost 35 years.
My diary/journal got me through puberty, lost loves (damn that Shawn Casey for not noticing me), anorexia, my first sexual experience, rape, wronged friendships, etc.
After I had our first-born, Caitlin, I decided to journal her growth. I new at birth she would require extra care. I wanted to document her screams, sleepless nights, etc.
I was so happy I did this after she was diagnosed. It has been my savior on nights I did not know if I was doing the correct thing with her. I documented all her GFCF, nutrients, enemas (which I still cry about), doctors appointments, etc.
We stopped all of these when Caitlin turned 4, and she dumped the concoction I gave her to drink, down the sink.... It was done for all of us.
As our family grew, so did my journals.
I joined a local Support Group for autism. Unfortunately, they did not want to hear my side of the story. I was negated and bullied for my anti-biomedical beliefs.
Funny thing, many of these parent's emailed me off-list. They too were disillusioned, but did not want to speak up for fear of being bullied.
I don't have a problem with bullies. I think bullies are cowards.
None of my children are bullied, or have become that....that is one of our greatest accomplishments in their lives.
Then one day, I went looking for a site on the computer who held our beliefs on what autism is and what autism can be.
I found a huge pot of gold at the end of my rainbow...I found Soapbox Mom's blog.
I commented on her blog, and she responded. Wow.......
She told me there were many out there like us. She gave me sites to go to, blogs to read, etc. I found a safe place for my children and my family to go to and not be BULLIED.
I then decided, I could also blog. I can write well, in my jaded mind.
I always wanted to write a book, I am just a bit too lazy.
I decided my blog would be about my family and my feelings about autism and all the crazy things people do to cure their children.
Yes, it makes me angry, but I am ALLOWED my feelings. I cry when I read about all the things people put their children through, for the sake of "curing" them. You "cure" meat, not children.
I get angry when I read how a mom is going to scope her NT child, because she has a stomach ache. I want to go and rescue that little girl. I want to tell the mother that PERFECT does not exist.
That is what I CAN and WILL write about on MY blog....
Don't like it, Don't read it......
I wrote in my diary ( which became a journal when I entered college), every day for almost 35 years.
My diary/journal got me through puberty, lost loves (damn that Shawn Casey for not noticing me), anorexia, my first sexual experience, rape, wronged friendships, etc.
After I had our first-born, Caitlin, I decided to journal her growth. I new at birth she would require extra care. I wanted to document her screams, sleepless nights, etc.
I was so happy I did this after she was diagnosed. It has been my savior on nights I did not know if I was doing the correct thing with her. I documented all her GFCF, nutrients, enemas (which I still cry about), doctors appointments, etc.
We stopped all of these when Caitlin turned 4, and she dumped the concoction I gave her to drink, down the sink.... It was done for all of us.
As our family grew, so did my journals.
I joined a local Support Group for autism. Unfortunately, they did not want to hear my side of the story. I was negated and bullied for my anti-biomedical beliefs.
Funny thing, many of these parent's emailed me off-list. They too were disillusioned, but did not want to speak up for fear of being bullied.
I don't have a problem with bullies. I think bullies are cowards.
None of my children are bullied, or have become that....that is one of our greatest accomplishments in their lives.
Then one day, I went looking for a site on the computer who held our beliefs on what autism is and what autism can be.
I found a huge pot of gold at the end of my rainbow...I found Soapbox Mom's blog.
I commented on her blog, and she responded. Wow.......
She told me there were many out there like us. She gave me sites to go to, blogs to read, etc. I found a safe place for my children and my family to go to and not be BULLIED.
I then decided, I could also blog. I can write well, in my jaded mind.
I always wanted to write a book, I am just a bit too lazy.
I decided my blog would be about my family and my feelings about autism and all the crazy things people do to cure their children.
Yes, it makes me angry, but I am ALLOWED my feelings. I cry when I read about all the things people put their children through, for the sake of "curing" them. You "cure" meat, not children.
I get angry when I read how a mom is going to scope her NT child, because she has a stomach ache. I want to go and rescue that little girl. I want to tell the mother that PERFECT does not exist.
That is what I CAN and WILL write about on MY blog....
Don't like it, Don't read it......
Friday, September 15, 2006
On My SOAPBOX...
It has come to my attention that my favorite Blogger is considering retiring. I am trying to make an all-out effort to stop this. It feels to me just like when your favorite television show is cancelled.
So, now I am starting a letter-writing campaign.
Those of you who read my blog, and love SOAPBOX MOMS blog, please write her and tell her how important she is to all of us in the Autism community.
I would never have started a blog without her. She is my inspiration to be the best Mother I can be. I need her and her blog.
Soapbox Mom, If you are reading this please consider the following:
1. We need positive role models in the autism community-you are #1.
2. We need parent's of autistic children to know there is a safe place to fall when they realize the biomedical bullshit does not work.
3. We need a place to go and be able to show our views.
4. We need to know that a mother of 5 can remain sane (okay, appear sane), even with autism in the home.
5. We need to show others that autism is so much more than a label, it is the love of a mother like yourself, who adores all of her children and lets us share that love in your writings....
I rest my case.
Love, Jeanette
So, now I am starting a letter-writing campaign.
Those of you who read my blog, and love SOAPBOX MOMS blog, please write her and tell her how important she is to all of us in the Autism community.
I would never have started a blog without her. She is my inspiration to be the best Mother I can be. I need her and her blog.
Soapbox Mom, If you are reading this please consider the following:
1. We need positive role models in the autism community-you are #1.
2. We need parent's of autistic children to know there is a safe place to fall when they realize the biomedical bullshit does not work.
3. We need a place to go and be able to show our views.
4. We need to know that a mother of 5 can remain sane (okay, appear sane), even with autism in the home.
5. We need to show others that autism is so much more than a label, it is the love of a mother like yourself, who adores all of her children and lets us share that love in your writings....
I rest my case.
Love, Jeanette
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The World According to Deirdre....
Our second born child was almost too perfect from the day she was born. She came into the world, very quietly, in a birthing center. No drugs, no screaming....just water and a tub.
I labored quietly for 6 hours. It was very calm.
Deirdre slept through the night the first day she was born. I liked that. The midwives do not. They wanted me to wake her up, during the night, and feed her. I obliged.
Deirdre also did not scream. Our first born was constantly screaming.
Not Deirdre, she actually cooed very early.
By 6 months, she was talking. REALLY.
She was always a bit quirky, but not enough to make us worried. You know, the facial twitches, the flicking of the fingers, the awkward social demonstrations. We just thought she was different.
When our 3rd daughter was 6 years old, they sent home a questionaire about Asperger's for her. As I read through the questionaire, it dawned on me that this was not Erin at all....IT WAS DEIRDRE.
Wow, how did we go 9 years and not realize she was autistic?
We were used to a certain kind of autism, not Asperger's.
We had a pediatric neurologist give her a proper diagnosis, but we were still stunned.
Then it hit us, "Why not Deirdre?"
We had already had 4 others diagnosed by then. Why wouldn't she have autism also? It did not change who she was the past 9 years, it just helped us better understand why she did certain things. Asperger's did not define Deirdre, it just put a footnote on who she is.
Deidre is:
Greek Mythology-She won a National contest last year(no big surprise)
Egyptian Mythology
Violin
Greenday-I still have no idea who they are...
The Democratic Party-yes, 2 Republican's can breed a Democrat
World Peace
Green Peace
Blue Jeans and Tee shirts every day of the week
I can honestly say that Deirdre has never given us one bit of trouble. She has been mellow and sweet her whole life. She has found a circle of friends who are a bit like her. A bit off the beaten path. I like these people..they don't let people make them anything they are not. Not too easy for 7th Graders. Such mature guys. I wish I had that ability as a middle-schooler. Would have saved years of angst.
Deirdre is going to go far in life. She knows this and reminds me often...
I do not let her know that I already figured that out.
I labored quietly for 6 hours. It was very calm.
Deirdre slept through the night the first day she was born. I liked that. The midwives do not. They wanted me to wake her up, during the night, and feed her. I obliged.
Deirdre also did not scream. Our first born was constantly screaming.
Not Deirdre, she actually cooed very early.
By 6 months, she was talking. REALLY.
She was always a bit quirky, but not enough to make us worried. You know, the facial twitches, the flicking of the fingers, the awkward social demonstrations. We just thought she was different.
When our 3rd daughter was 6 years old, they sent home a questionaire about Asperger's for her. As I read through the questionaire, it dawned on me that this was not Erin at all....IT WAS DEIRDRE.
Wow, how did we go 9 years and not realize she was autistic?
We were used to a certain kind of autism, not Asperger's.
We had a pediatric neurologist give her a proper diagnosis, but we were still stunned.
Then it hit us, "Why not Deirdre?"
We had already had 4 others diagnosed by then. Why wouldn't she have autism also? It did not change who she was the past 9 years, it just helped us better understand why she did certain things. Asperger's did not define Deirdre, it just put a footnote on who she is.
Deidre is:
Greek Mythology-She won a National contest last year(no big surprise)
Egyptian Mythology
Violin
Greenday-I still have no idea who they are...
The Democratic Party-yes, 2 Republican's can breed a Democrat
World Peace
Green Peace
Blue Jeans and Tee shirts every day of the week
I can honestly say that Deirdre has never given us one bit of trouble. She has been mellow and sweet her whole life. She has found a circle of friends who are a bit like her. A bit off the beaten path. I like these people..they don't let people make them anything they are not. Not too easy for 7th Graders. Such mature guys. I wish I had that ability as a middle-schooler. Would have saved years of angst.
Deirdre is going to go far in life. She knows this and reminds me often...
I do not let her know that I already figured that out.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Dancing With the O'Donnell's
I admit it, I have one very small addictive quality in my life...Okay, 2, but the wine doesn't count.
I HAVE TO watch Dancing with the Stars.
I adore ballroom dancing. Yes, me...the new wave queen of the 1980's. Me, the one with the purple and blue hair. I was trying to look like Superman in the comics. He had black hair with the blue streaks. My hair is so dark ,when they bleached it to put the blue in, it all washed out. I looked like a skunk. But, A cool skunk....
Yet, in the back of my very punk rock mind, was a ballroom dancer.
My children and I love the dancing. We all get up and try our hardest to be just as good (or bad, depending on your point of view) as the stars.
We are AWESOME....
Picture this-
1 extremely devoted mother (who really thinks she can dance), 2 extremely autistic children (led by one really devoted mother), 2 mildly autistic children (completely in their element), 1 Asperger's child (completely not wanting to be with us) and 1 NT child, who is relishing in the fact that she can help, dancing to our heart's content....
Now that is Dancing with the O'Donnell's......
And it is pure HEAVEN.
I HAVE TO watch Dancing with the Stars.
I adore ballroom dancing. Yes, me...the new wave queen of the 1980's. Me, the one with the purple and blue hair. I was trying to look like Superman in the comics. He had black hair with the blue streaks. My hair is so dark ,when they bleached it to put the blue in, it all washed out. I looked like a skunk. But, A cool skunk....
Yet, in the back of my very punk rock mind, was a ballroom dancer.
My children and I love the dancing. We all get up and try our hardest to be just as good (or bad, depending on your point of view) as the stars.
We are AWESOME....
Picture this-
1 extremely devoted mother (who really thinks she can dance), 2 extremely autistic children (led by one really devoted mother), 2 mildly autistic children (completely in their element), 1 Asperger's child (completely not wanting to be with us) and 1 NT child, who is relishing in the fact that she can help, dancing to our heart's content....
Now that is Dancing with the O'Donnell's......
And it is pure HEAVEN.
You Great Big Beautiful Doll....
Erin Michele came into this world 10 pounds, 23 inches of screaming baby. I compared it to giving birth to a toddler. My other babies were not small, but never was I prepared for this.
Erin was gorgeous. She looked like one of those toy babies. Big blue eyes and huge.
Erin cried most of her baby life. Let me change that, she screamed. My husband said that he had never seen such and unhappy baby. Because we already had one diagnosed Autistic child, we thought maybe we should have Erin checked out.
Erin started OT, PT and Speech before her 1st birthday. The therapists loved her. She was a challenge and they were ready. They just did not realize how hard this challenge was going to be.
Erin smeared feces, toothpaste, soap, syrup....anything that can smear, she smeared.
They would put Erin in a big bucket full of pinto beans, she would melt with the pressure. They would roll her up like a burrito in a thin mattress...again, she would melt. They brushed her body and she would get this look of contentment all over her face.
Erin had this therapy until she was 3. She started and Early Childhood program at school. We continued with private therapy outside of school.
Erin struggled to keep her composure at school. She wanted to talk, but just couldn't. Instead...she screamed.
Suddenly, right before Erin's 4th birthday, words came. She started talking and talking. Not well, mind you, but talking she did.
Suddenly, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, Erin flew. She started having friends. She started playing with toys. She started to be happy.
She attended regular Kindergarten the next year. She had a hard time with reading. They were going to put her in a reading class the summer between K and 1st grade. Erin did not want this.
Can you believe this little girl taught herself to read.....
She wanted to ride a bike without training wheels....she taught herself, on the grass, in the backyard to ride.
Erin has been fully-inclusioned in regular ed classes since Kindergarten. She has maintained an A average with honor roll every year. I cannot take any credit for this. I give 80 % of the credit to Erin and 20 % to her amazing teachers. Not bad for a kid who tested 74 on an IQ test 4 years ago.
Erin started Girl Scouts this month and became the Teacher's Treasure for all of 4th grade last week. Not an easy honor, I am told.
Erin is a large girl. She stands 5 feet 4 inches. She is 150 pounds. She has dirty blond hair and the brightest, bluest eyes I have ever seen.
Gone is the "saddest child in the world".
Replaced with the "happiest, most loveable, smartest" people I know. I am so thankful that I am blessed with her every day.
One warning though, if you ever get the honor to meet my Erin, brace yourself for the tightest hug you have ever had......I give that credit to her hard-working OT's and PT's for all the deep pressure they gave her early in life. Thanks guys, whereever you are....
Erin was gorgeous. She looked like one of those toy babies. Big blue eyes and huge.
Erin cried most of her baby life. Let me change that, she screamed. My husband said that he had never seen such and unhappy baby. Because we already had one diagnosed Autistic child, we thought maybe we should have Erin checked out.
Erin started OT, PT and Speech before her 1st birthday. The therapists loved her. She was a challenge and they were ready. They just did not realize how hard this challenge was going to be.
Erin smeared feces, toothpaste, soap, syrup....anything that can smear, she smeared.
They would put Erin in a big bucket full of pinto beans, she would melt with the pressure. They would roll her up like a burrito in a thin mattress...again, she would melt. They brushed her body and she would get this look of contentment all over her face.
Erin had this therapy until she was 3. She started and Early Childhood program at school. We continued with private therapy outside of school.
Erin struggled to keep her composure at school. She wanted to talk, but just couldn't. Instead...she screamed.
Suddenly, right before Erin's 4th birthday, words came. She started talking and talking. Not well, mind you, but talking she did.
Suddenly, like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, Erin flew. She started having friends. She started playing with toys. She started to be happy.
She attended regular Kindergarten the next year. She had a hard time with reading. They were going to put her in a reading class the summer between K and 1st grade. Erin did not want this.
Can you believe this little girl taught herself to read.....
She wanted to ride a bike without training wheels....she taught herself, on the grass, in the backyard to ride.
Erin has been fully-inclusioned in regular ed classes since Kindergarten. She has maintained an A average with honor roll every year. I cannot take any credit for this. I give 80 % of the credit to Erin and 20 % to her amazing teachers. Not bad for a kid who tested 74 on an IQ test 4 years ago.
Erin started Girl Scouts this month and became the Teacher's Treasure for all of 4th grade last week. Not an easy honor, I am told.
Erin is a large girl. She stands 5 feet 4 inches. She is 150 pounds. She has dirty blond hair and the brightest, bluest eyes I have ever seen.
Gone is the "saddest child in the world".
Replaced with the "happiest, most loveable, smartest" people I know. I am so thankful that I am blessed with her every day.
One warning though, if you ever get the honor to meet my Erin, brace yourself for the tightest hug you have ever had......I give that credit to her hard-working OT's and PT's for all the deep pressure they gave her early in life. Thanks guys, whereever you are....
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Promises, Promises....
I will admit to the fact that I am slow at catching up with technology. We were probably the last people in our neighborhood to get a computer. We just could not afford one in the beginning.
That is the excuse I use for taking so long to get into the blog thing. I have kept a journal for many years. Keeping track of my children's births and eventual diagnosis with autism. I would love to write a book, eventually.
I started my blog after reading other blogs written by parent's of autistic children. I have chosen a few favorites and visit them often.
Most of the blogs I visit share my views on autism. Some do not, some believe GFCF diets, chelation and biomedical interventions will save their autistic children.
When I comment, I am told basically that if I have "not been there, or done that", that I should keep my opinions to myself. Now here is my voice in that opinion:
We have been there and done that. Remember, we have been with autistic children for 15 years. We were told, by several doctors and clinics, that they were going to help or "save" our children.
Some promised cures and some miracles.
Some promised this would be of "no cost to our family".
Some promised my children would become "normal".
When it came time for these "doctors" to produce the promises, they could not deliver. When I have asked several times, of one famous doctor and his staff, to show me proof of "cures" and "recoveries" with his prescriptions of cocktails, he never returned my phone calls. If I had little faith in him, he could not help us. Oh, Please.......
One well-known "doctor" and his cohort walked into my home. His words were, "I know I can help your family". We will supply the food, medical interventions, etc. They even told us they had to remove all the old appliances from our kitchen and get new ones...we could not have remnants of wheat anywhere.
Needless to say, when it came time to start all of these things, the story changed. There was a "misunderstanding". They did give me 3 cases of bread, bagels and cookies. All which tasted like glue.
The lady in charge told me her son was fully-recovered and attended regular classes at a regular school. Her son in actuality, attends a private school for autistic children and is still labeled autistic. He attends CARD programs and ABA therapy sessions. She is a person who has a hard time telling the truth.
I would never tell anyone how to raise their children. I would never give false hope to any family. But, I would welcome anyone into my house to see how acceptance works in helping an autistic child.
We have 2 children who will always be autistic. But, I can PROMISE they will always be accepted for who they are and what they become as they reach adulthood.
We have 2 children who have become so much better, without any interventions. These children are in regular classes at a regular school and are indistinguishable from the peers. I can PROMISE them that they can become whatever they want in life, and we will stand behind them.
I have a child with Asperger's Syndrome. This came to us later in her life as a diagnosis. This one crept up on us. We shook our heads and said, "Why the hell not?". She is the one who loves Greek and Egyptian books. She taught herself the violin and loves to sing in the choir. She has come so far in 12 years. I can PROMISE she will impress everyone some day.
I have a NT child. She is as precocious as any other 8 year old girl. Sometimes that is more challenging than any autistic child. She has alot on her little plate and we give her the opportunity to soar. I can PROMISE her that she will never be anyone but her own person. She will be a very patient and caring person, and that is also a PROMISE.
As a parent, you will do anything to help your children. We did try, but eventually the light bulb went off in our heads. Our children are okay as they are. They all have come a long way, and will go a long way more. They will teach us and other's how to treat them and other's with autism. They deserve as much respect as anyone else. They let themselves heard and they let you hear it loud. And if the point does not get across, they have their parent's to back them up.
Now, my friends, that is a PROMISE........
That is the excuse I use for taking so long to get into the blog thing. I have kept a journal for many years. Keeping track of my children's births and eventual diagnosis with autism. I would love to write a book, eventually.
I started my blog after reading other blogs written by parent's of autistic children. I have chosen a few favorites and visit them often.
Most of the blogs I visit share my views on autism. Some do not, some believe GFCF diets, chelation and biomedical interventions will save their autistic children.
When I comment, I am told basically that if I have "not been there, or done that", that I should keep my opinions to myself. Now here is my voice in that opinion:
We have been there and done that. Remember, we have been with autistic children for 15 years. We were told, by several doctors and clinics, that they were going to help or "save" our children.
Some promised cures and some miracles.
Some promised this would be of "no cost to our family".
Some promised my children would become "normal".
When it came time for these "doctors" to produce the promises, they could not deliver. When I have asked several times, of one famous doctor and his staff, to show me proof of "cures" and "recoveries" with his prescriptions of cocktails, he never returned my phone calls. If I had little faith in him, he could not help us. Oh, Please.......
One well-known "doctor" and his cohort walked into my home. His words were, "I know I can help your family". We will supply the food, medical interventions, etc. They even told us they had to remove all the old appliances from our kitchen and get new ones...we could not have remnants of wheat anywhere.
Needless to say, when it came time to start all of these things, the story changed. There was a "misunderstanding". They did give me 3 cases of bread, bagels and cookies. All which tasted like glue.
The lady in charge told me her son was fully-recovered and attended regular classes at a regular school. Her son in actuality, attends a private school for autistic children and is still labeled autistic. He attends CARD programs and ABA therapy sessions. She is a person who has a hard time telling the truth.
I would never tell anyone how to raise their children. I would never give false hope to any family. But, I would welcome anyone into my house to see how acceptance works in helping an autistic child.
We have 2 children who will always be autistic. But, I can PROMISE they will always be accepted for who they are and what they become as they reach adulthood.
We have 2 children who have become so much better, without any interventions. These children are in regular classes at a regular school and are indistinguishable from the peers. I can PROMISE them that they can become whatever they want in life, and we will stand behind them.
I have a child with Asperger's Syndrome. This came to us later in her life as a diagnosis. This one crept up on us. We shook our heads and said, "Why the hell not?". She is the one who loves Greek and Egyptian books. She taught herself the violin and loves to sing in the choir. She has come so far in 12 years. I can PROMISE she will impress everyone some day.
I have a NT child. She is as precocious as any other 8 year old girl. Sometimes that is more challenging than any autistic child. She has alot on her little plate and we give her the opportunity to soar. I can PROMISE her that she will never be anyone but her own person. She will be a very patient and caring person, and that is also a PROMISE.
As a parent, you will do anything to help your children. We did try, but eventually the light bulb went off in our heads. Our children are okay as they are. They all have come a long way, and will go a long way more. They will teach us and other's how to treat them and other's with autism. They deserve as much respect as anyone else. They let themselves heard and they let you hear it loud. And if the point does not get across, they have their parent's to back them up.
Now, my friends, that is a PROMISE........
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Celebrity...
I do not know if many of you know this, or if any of you know this....I do not go around and tell people we were in USA Today or on Good Morning America last year. It seemed like it did no good.
We were asked to be interviewed for USA Today. The photographer spent 2 days with us. The reporter spent about 3 hours total. When the photographer left our house, he had tears in his eyes. He thanked us for letting him come into our home. He said, and I quote, "He had never seen a family with so much love".
That seemed odd to me. We are just a normal family, in my eyes.
In our neighbors eyes, we are "the weird family"....
Any who, Diane Sawyer had read the USA Today story and wanted our family on for an Amazing Family story...well, they filmed in May of last year. It did not air until August 16, 2005. That was after a 2 month delay . I learned alot about media...more than I wanted.
Please understand that I am not complaining. Good Morning America was wonderful..they totally undersood our family. They showed us in the light that we are. We do not complain, bicker, fight, or beg.
The reason we decided to do it is so people would know that a family can survive and flourish with autism.....
From both stories, the USA Today and GMA, I will tell you what phone calls I received. Yes, we are listed.
I got calls from a group in California who said that if I bought their biomedical formula, I could "cure" all of my children, I got a call from someone who wanted me to send them x amount of dollars to "save" my children, I got a call from the SON RISE Foundation who said they would give me and my husband a seminar that usually costs $2000.00 each. We just had to get airfare (not easy to do, by the way), and the most amazing thing, a doctor in California who wanted to study our family, but we had to pay the way........
I happily declined all.
Obviously, the point of our story did not come across. I guess they do not think that a family with an autistic child, let alone 5, could really be happy and secure. That we came across so pathetic that we need to "cure" our children.
I play back the tape of GMA and re-read the USA Today story and even the local story done about us in THE AUSTIN AMERICAN STATESMAN (yes, a shameless plug). What I read is a family that is so proud and amazed at what God has given us as gifts. That we expect no less from our children than that of any family given "normal" children. That we are a strong unit and no one can break us.
Why could others not see the same thing?
We were asked to be interviewed for USA Today. The photographer spent 2 days with us. The reporter spent about 3 hours total. When the photographer left our house, he had tears in his eyes. He thanked us for letting him come into our home. He said, and I quote, "He had never seen a family with so much love".
That seemed odd to me. We are just a normal family, in my eyes.
In our neighbors eyes, we are "the weird family"....
Any who, Diane Sawyer had read the USA Today story and wanted our family on for an Amazing Family story...well, they filmed in May of last year. It did not air until August 16, 2005. That was after a 2 month delay . I learned alot about media...more than I wanted.
Please understand that I am not complaining. Good Morning America was wonderful..they totally undersood our family. They showed us in the light that we are. We do not complain, bicker, fight, or beg.
The reason we decided to do it is so people would know that a family can survive and flourish with autism.....
From both stories, the USA Today and GMA, I will tell you what phone calls I received. Yes, we are listed.
I got calls from a group in California who said that if I bought their biomedical formula, I could "cure" all of my children, I got a call from someone who wanted me to send them x amount of dollars to "save" my children, I got a call from the SON RISE Foundation who said they would give me and my husband a seminar that usually costs $2000.00 each. We just had to get airfare (not easy to do, by the way), and the most amazing thing, a doctor in California who wanted to study our family, but we had to pay the way........
I happily declined all.
Obviously, the point of our story did not come across. I guess they do not think that a family with an autistic child, let alone 5, could really be happy and secure. That we came across so pathetic that we need to "cure" our children.
I play back the tape of GMA and re-read the USA Today story and even the local story done about us in THE AUSTIN AMERICAN STATESMAN (yes, a shameless plug). What I read is a family that is so proud and amazed at what God has given us as gifts. That we expect no less from our children than that of any family given "normal" children. That we are a strong unit and no one can break us.
Why could others not see the same thing?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
They Call Me The Fireman.....
Yeah, that's my name. If you don't know any old George Strait songs, this will only be funny to me.
As I sit here typing, I am adorned by a plastic child's fireman hat. Why, might you ask?....Good question.
My youngest son, who usually leaves me alone in peace, as he watches his Barney and Wiggles videos on HIS television is insisting I wear this hat. I have tried to remove it several times, but it gets gingerly placed back on the top of my head.
I am proud to say that it does fit my rather large adult head.
Another thing that the little bugger is hiding from me.....I was told today that he is spelling words with the refridgerator magnets, at school. Here at home, he likes us to think he doesn't have a clue. Less to do that way, I guess.
I was told he writes Mama, when he is sad and Dada, when he is happy. I don't even want to know why....That could hurt my feelings.
I was told that he types, on the computer, where he wants to go on the internet. Here , it takes one of us to do the typing for him.
At school, he will nicely put his food on a plate and eat it. Here, he dumps the food all over the floor. Picking up the pieces he wants to eat. This drives my mother crazy. I try to ignore it. The 5 second rule, ya know.
At school, he will take his blankie, go lay down on his mat, and take a quiet time. At home, we are lucky if he goes to bed by midnight.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad he loves school so much. I am glad they spoil him and hug him and love him. I love that they brag about him as if he were their own. I am glad they gleam when they tell me his day and "guess what Kiernan did today? ".
Since I volunteer at school, I get to peek in on him and they really do adore him. That makes it much easier for me. I know, he is my youngest, but I don't care. It does not matter. It doesn't get any easier to let the youngest one go.
I look at him with the same eyes I looked at my oldest, Caitlin with. The difference is that I am a much calmer, more patient mother. I don't worry that he will be autistic forever. I don't worry that he won't have friends. I don't worry that he won't go to high school, or college. I know that he will have that potential.
The good thing about having so many children, autistic or not, is that I have learned that many personalities can live together in one home. That we can disagree, argue, fight, love, and genuinly know that no matter what, I will have your back and you will have mine.
Kiernan is lucky to be the youngest. He gets the knowledge we have all learned from being a big family. He gets the knowledge the teacher's have learned from his siblings and other's like them.
Kiernan's teachers get the little boy who loves to draw and write. They get the little boy who plays matchgame and does it perfect every time.
But, there is one thing they do not get......
They do not get to be The FIREMAN......
As I sit here typing, I am adorned by a plastic child's fireman hat. Why, might you ask?....Good question.
My youngest son, who usually leaves me alone in peace, as he watches his Barney and Wiggles videos on HIS television is insisting I wear this hat. I have tried to remove it several times, but it gets gingerly placed back on the top of my head.
I am proud to say that it does fit my rather large adult head.
Another thing that the little bugger is hiding from me.....I was told today that he is spelling words with the refridgerator magnets, at school. Here at home, he likes us to think he doesn't have a clue. Less to do that way, I guess.
I was told he writes Mama, when he is sad and Dada, when he is happy. I don't even want to know why....That could hurt my feelings.
I was told that he types, on the computer, where he wants to go on the internet. Here , it takes one of us to do the typing for him.
At school, he will nicely put his food on a plate and eat it. Here, he dumps the food all over the floor. Picking up the pieces he wants to eat. This drives my mother crazy. I try to ignore it. The 5 second rule, ya know.
At school, he will take his blankie, go lay down on his mat, and take a quiet time. At home, we are lucky if he goes to bed by midnight.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad he loves school so much. I am glad they spoil him and hug him and love him. I love that they brag about him as if he were their own. I am glad they gleam when they tell me his day and "guess what Kiernan did today? ".
Since I volunteer at school, I get to peek in on him and they really do adore him. That makes it much easier for me. I know, he is my youngest, but I don't care. It does not matter. It doesn't get any easier to let the youngest one go.
I look at him with the same eyes I looked at my oldest, Caitlin with. The difference is that I am a much calmer, more patient mother. I don't worry that he will be autistic forever. I don't worry that he won't have friends. I don't worry that he won't go to high school, or college. I know that he will have that potential.
The good thing about having so many children, autistic or not, is that I have learned that many personalities can live together in one home. That we can disagree, argue, fight, love, and genuinly know that no matter what, I will have your back and you will have mine.
Kiernan is lucky to be the youngest. He gets the knowledge we have all learned from being a big family. He gets the knowledge the teacher's have learned from his siblings and other's like them.
Kiernan's teachers get the little boy who loves to draw and write. They get the little boy who plays matchgame and does it perfect every time.
But, there is one thing they do not get......
They do not get to be The FIREMAN......
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
The Beauty Inside....
I am watching my oldest daughter from our front window. It is raining, not her favorite thing. But, she has come a long way from the little girl who would cringe with the sound of thunder.
She is standing outside waiting patiently for her bus. She does not like to wait. Since it is raining, the bus will be late. She keeps coming to the window to peer inside to check the time. She is a stickler for time, always has been.
I watch her with awe. 13 years ago, I did not know what was to become of her. I was told "autism" and basically, "Good luck to ya"....
The doctors did not have much knowledge with autism. Remember, it was 1 in 2500. You were told to go to the neurologist. The neurologist sent you to the OT, PT, and Speech therapists. I believe these people saved her life and gave us the door to better things. There were no groups, with the exception of Autism Society of America, and Dr. Rimland's group Autism Research Institute.
My husband and I went to the downtown library every Saturday and checked out the minimal books on autism. I read them all. They did not have very positive words in those books. They basically prepared you to have your child packing for a group home or state institution. Neither of which was an option in our home.
Caitlin was non-verbal and occasionally she would get some words. She would lose them eventually, but we were used to that. She had her fits in the grocery store and restaurants. We would graciously leave when these happened. No big deal....could you put this in a to-g0 box for us......
We were forever told, what a gorgeous child. It is a shame she will never know how beautiful she is. Or, my favorite, "at least she looks normal".
The sad part of all that people see is that they do not see the "beauty" inside of Caitlin. They see her amazing hazel eyes. They see her gorgeous long brown hair, which she refuses to let me cut. They see her laughing out of context. They hear her buzzing "like a bee" ( as Caitlin calls it ). They see her flapping when happy, or biting her hand when she is upset.
She is the most hilarious person I know. She loves to laugh. She loves to jump, flap, dance and sing. She just does not like it when you join in. She loves the 80's music. That is the only music I know, but I am not allowed to sing with her. I have to lip-sync. She knows the singer and song to every song ever written. She knows all movie titles, stars and years. She knows every make and model of every vehicle ever made. She can tell by looking at the side of a car. She is the smartest person I have ever met. She makes A's and B's on her report card. Always on the honor roll. She was invited to be in the National Junior Honor Society. They did not choose her. She did not have enough extracurricular--ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
But, most people will never know.
I am proud of all of our children. I relish them all. They all give me so many different things in my life.
But, it is Caitlin who made me the mother I am.
Caitlin taught me how to change a diaper...sad, but true.
Caitlin gave me my patience during her crying fits.
Caitlin gave me my hugs when I would be sad.
Caitlin taught me that it is okay to make her chicken, rice and corn every night ( see the carb connection ?)
Caitlin taught me how to be her advocate at school and in life.
Caitlin gave me the opportunity to see that Autism was not a death sentence.
Caitlin let me see the beauty inside of her.....
Now I am sharing it with you.
She is standing outside waiting patiently for her bus. She does not like to wait. Since it is raining, the bus will be late. She keeps coming to the window to peer inside to check the time. She is a stickler for time, always has been.
I watch her with awe. 13 years ago, I did not know what was to become of her. I was told "autism" and basically, "Good luck to ya"....
The doctors did not have much knowledge with autism. Remember, it was 1 in 2500. You were told to go to the neurologist. The neurologist sent you to the OT, PT, and Speech therapists. I believe these people saved her life and gave us the door to better things. There were no groups, with the exception of Autism Society of America, and Dr. Rimland's group Autism Research Institute.
My husband and I went to the downtown library every Saturday and checked out the minimal books on autism. I read them all. They did not have very positive words in those books. They basically prepared you to have your child packing for a group home or state institution. Neither of which was an option in our home.
Caitlin was non-verbal and occasionally she would get some words. She would lose them eventually, but we were used to that. She had her fits in the grocery store and restaurants. We would graciously leave when these happened. No big deal....could you put this in a to-g0 box for us......
We were forever told, what a gorgeous child. It is a shame she will never know how beautiful she is. Or, my favorite, "at least she looks normal".
The sad part of all that people see is that they do not see the "beauty" inside of Caitlin. They see her amazing hazel eyes. They see her gorgeous long brown hair, which she refuses to let me cut. They see her laughing out of context. They hear her buzzing "like a bee" ( as Caitlin calls it ). They see her flapping when happy, or biting her hand when she is upset.
She is the most hilarious person I know. She loves to laugh. She loves to jump, flap, dance and sing. She just does not like it when you join in. She loves the 80's music. That is the only music I know, but I am not allowed to sing with her. I have to lip-sync. She knows the singer and song to every song ever written. She knows all movie titles, stars and years. She knows every make and model of every vehicle ever made. She can tell by looking at the side of a car. She is the smartest person I have ever met. She makes A's and B's on her report card. Always on the honor roll. She was invited to be in the National Junior Honor Society. They did not choose her. She did not have enough extracurricular--ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
But, most people will never know.
I am proud of all of our children. I relish them all. They all give me so many different things in my life.
But, it is Caitlin who made me the mother I am.
Caitlin taught me how to change a diaper...sad, but true.
Caitlin gave me my patience during her crying fits.
Caitlin gave me my hugs when I would be sad.
Caitlin taught me that it is okay to make her chicken, rice and corn every night ( see the carb connection ?)
Caitlin taught me how to be her advocate at school and in life.
Caitlin gave me the opportunity to see that Autism was not a death sentence.
Caitlin let me see the beauty inside of her.....
Now I am sharing it with you.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Just Take A Deep Breath.....
After a day of getting way too involved in an Autism Forum, I am going to bring it to my blog. My place where I can say what I wish, without having to worry about "hurting anybodies feelings".... Here it goes....
When a well-meaning friend of mine calls me and tells me that she has met a woman in line at the grocery store, or the bank, or anywhere else that has a newly-diagnosed autistic child and would I mind talking to them. This happens often and with more than one well-meaning friend. I always tell them yes, I will talk with them, but they will not like what I have to say.
What I have to say is:
1. Sit back and just take a deep breath
2. Everything you have imagined about your child has just taken another course.
3. It is not a bad thing that your child is autistic, just not what you had expected.
4. It is okay to cry about it. Then get over it and carry on. This child will bring you so much pleasure, you cannot even imagine.
5. Do not, and I repeat, do not compare your child with others. Do not compare milestones, they vary so much anyway.
6. Do not accept pity from other well-meaning people. Especially do not accept pity from good friends and relatives. That just makes this a great big pity-party. Your child does not need this and neither do you.
7. Please look at all sides of the picture. Do not jump into treatments and therapies without looking at all the positives and negatives. Just because a doctor says to do it, you are still the parent.
8. If you cannot afford it, don't make yourself broke to do it.
9. Do not stress the small stuff. If your child is having a bad day, don't take it as defeat, take it as a bad day. We all have them.
10. Do not ever let someone make you think you are not a good parent, because you do not agree with what they want you to do with your autistic child. This is your child and you have to do what is best for you and your family.
We have lost many friends who did not want to stick around for the ride. We have lost many family members who found it to difficult to cope with. My husband and myself have formed a union that is an amazing thing. We are committed to these children and to each other. We are going to make sure nothing holds them back from being who they are and who they want to be.
We do all activities according to what mood what children are in. Some can handle birthday parties, some cannot. We take turns taking them to events and staying home with whomever wants to. This is not an inconvenience, just an adjustment.
Raising one child with autism is hard enough. Raising five with autism does not seem any harder to me. Remember, we had one at one time and we know how hard that can be. She is the child who taught us patience, courage, dignity and how to respect who she is. She is the child who taught us it is okay not to change the others. She is the child who made us better parent's than we would ever have been without her. She is the child who is now going to be the adult who makes everyone better.
Now, I will take my own advice.
I will sit back and take a breath....maybe with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.....
When a well-meaning friend of mine calls me and tells me that she has met a woman in line at the grocery store, or the bank, or anywhere else that has a newly-diagnosed autistic child and would I mind talking to them. This happens often and with more than one well-meaning friend. I always tell them yes, I will talk with them, but they will not like what I have to say.
What I have to say is:
1. Sit back and just take a deep breath
2. Everything you have imagined about your child has just taken another course.
3. It is not a bad thing that your child is autistic, just not what you had expected.
4. It is okay to cry about it. Then get over it and carry on. This child will bring you so much pleasure, you cannot even imagine.
5. Do not, and I repeat, do not compare your child with others. Do not compare milestones, they vary so much anyway.
6. Do not accept pity from other well-meaning people. Especially do not accept pity from good friends and relatives. That just makes this a great big pity-party. Your child does not need this and neither do you.
7. Please look at all sides of the picture. Do not jump into treatments and therapies without looking at all the positives and negatives. Just because a doctor says to do it, you are still the parent.
8. If you cannot afford it, don't make yourself broke to do it.
9. Do not stress the small stuff. If your child is having a bad day, don't take it as defeat, take it as a bad day. We all have them.
10. Do not ever let someone make you think you are not a good parent, because you do not agree with what they want you to do with your autistic child. This is your child and you have to do what is best for you and your family.
We have lost many friends who did not want to stick around for the ride. We have lost many family members who found it to difficult to cope with. My husband and myself have formed a union that is an amazing thing. We are committed to these children and to each other. We are going to make sure nothing holds them back from being who they are and who they want to be.
We do all activities according to what mood what children are in. Some can handle birthday parties, some cannot. We take turns taking them to events and staying home with whomever wants to. This is not an inconvenience, just an adjustment.
Raising one child with autism is hard enough. Raising five with autism does not seem any harder to me. Remember, we had one at one time and we know how hard that can be. She is the child who taught us patience, courage, dignity and how to respect who she is. She is the child who taught us it is okay not to change the others. She is the child who made us better parent's than we would ever have been without her. She is the child who is now going to be the adult who makes everyone better.
Now, I will take my own advice.
I will sit back and take a breath....maybe with a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon.....
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