DEAR BULLY...

My 12-year old daughter, who is by far the sweetest soul on Earth, received
a very sexually explicit note in her locker this week. This small, torn piece of
paper...with words that no 6th grader should know..with acts that no 6th grader
can conceive (especially my very sheltered daughter)...has shaken my daughter
to the core. She is afraid to sleep, because "she doesn't want to dream". She
has stopped singing (which is all she used to do).
Because of this young man, who thought it would be funny to pick on the
"Autistic girl"...I would like to write him a letter...

Dear "cowardly" Bully,
Because you thought it would be funny to write my daughter a very inappropriate
letter and you and your buddies could get a little chuckle out of it.
Let me tell you what it has done to my daughter.
It has taken the "song" out of her voice.
It has made her smile leave her face.
It has made her afraid to sleep, in fear of dreaming about the horrible things
you describe in your "prank" note.
My daughter is 5 feet 10 inches tall. She used to walk tall and proud, but with
one small-minded swipe of your pen across a sheet of paper torn out of a notebook,
you have taken what was a carefree, unafraid to try anything child and made her
into a person afraid to walk into the classroom.
But fear not....you will not win this one. Picture me behind every corner, every
nook and every cranny. I will be there watching your every move. Know that
you will not get away with this, even though the school has done very little to
punish you. Know that this is very far from over.
Sincerely,
The Mother of the daughter you were so "stupid" to mess with.

UPDATE:
The school has decided not to do anything to the boy(s) who wrote the letter
to my daughter. Therefore, it is now up to me to pursue the matter.
I have called for a meeting with the principal and will decide after her decision
what we will do.
This is really far from over!!!

BACK TO REALITY...

I would to thank the person who commented on my last entry about my
daughter Caitlin turning 18 years old.
This lovely person reminded me why I blog.

This past week, I let myself get caught up in the Andrew Wakefield drama of
Autism. That is the autism that is supposed to come from the MMR vaccine.
Funny thing is...my most affected child has never had the MMR shot...so there
shoots that theory (no pun intended).
I feel very badly for the parent's who feed into the propaganda and spend so much
of their time and energy on "fixing" their children...that they forget they have children
to parent.
I have been there and done that...I was almost drawn into the whole Wakefield
farce. I thank God I have a husband who can rationalize and told me, "Jeanette, I
will believe it when I see it".
I thank God everyday that we did not see it.
I cringe that my child(ren) may have been prodded, poked, and scoped...among
other horrible things.
Guess what, our children, 4 years later from our first meeting with Dr. Wakefield,
have surpassed all expectations. All while on a Gluten-filled and Casein-filled diet.

I read every thing there is to read about Autism every day. I am amazed by the
reasoning parent's give themselves to "cure" or "recover" their children. I am amazed
that they give into the McCarthyism of today.

I blog because my husband and myself have tried our hardest to raise 6 of the most
amazing people on this planet. Children who should have failed, because they were
labeled Autistic.
I thank the people who let us look past the label and continue to try to raise responsible,
kind, respectable and smart children.
I thank those in the blogosphere who have helped me to realize that I was not the crazy
one in this journey called Autism.
I truly thank God for giving me these children to show me what unconditional love is.
Through teaching me patience, love and understanding in a world that many do not understand.

Thanks commenter...you have brought back my spark !!!!

THE DAY HAS COME....

The day has come..the day that I thought would take forever to get here...
the day where I say..
"I am now the parent of an adult"...

When Caitlin was born 18 years ago...I remember making promises to her.
I promised to always love her and make sure she was happy and well-cared
for. I promised she would never need for anything. I promised her when she got
scared, I would do my best to comfort her.
I hope she feels that I have fulfilled my promises, and will continue to do so.

When Caitlin was diagnosed with Autism, I really did not know what was ahead
of us. What challenges Cady would face, and how, as her mother I could help her
meet those challenges.
I was going to stick by my promises and make sure she was protected and safe
from all outside elements that might hurt her. I would be her armour..
In doing so, I was shielding her from things that she needed to experience.

A very good friend of mine gave me a little piece of advice...
"Let her go, Jeanette"..."let her fall a bit and see what happens".

The minute I gave her more independence...Caitlin flourished. She became
happier and more grounded. She showed me that she was smart and capable.

Her Occupational Therapist gave me the same bit of advice when she wanted
Caitlin to be in the Special Olympics. I was not sure she could handle the noise
and the competition.
The OT said, "Let her go, Jeanette"..."you won't be able to hang on to her forever"...

I let her go...Caitlin went on to win 2 gold medals..one in softball pitch and one in
the short relay race. Caitlin was so proud of herself and we were just as proud of her.

At the age of 3, when Caitlin was still not using her voice, I was not sure she would
ever talk. Frankly, that was the least of my worries. But, around the age of 9, her
voice came. She has been vocal and opinionated since. That is how I know she is my
daughter...she has her opinions and is very vocal about them.

As Caitlin went from Elementary school, to Middle School and now well into
High school....she has proven that she is capable to be able to tolerate most
situations. Caitlin is respected by both her peers and her educators. She has
remained to make me a very proud mother.

As this day approached...I came to realize that it is not Caitlin who is having
an issue with becoming an adult...but my issue.
As her mother, I felt comfortable with the decisions we made in Caitlin's
journey through adolescence and teenage years. I know that we did our
best in making her decisions for her. We worked hard with Caitlin to make her
be able to be at the place she is now....

I, as a mother, am comfortable with parenting the rest of our children because
of the lessons I learned by being Caitlin's mother.

You see, it is I who is having the problem of Caitlin becoming an adult. I have
never been the parent of an adult. Hopefully I will learn from parent's who
are ahead of me in this area. Parent's who have had to make decisions for their
adult child with Autism. Decisions that might not be the easiest to make, but
what is best for their adult child(ren).

So, there you have it...the day has come.
Happy Birthday to my daughter...who I hope continues to challenge me and
teach me more about being the best Mom I can be.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAITLIN !!!!

PREPARING FOR ADULTHOOD...

Not me..our daughter Caitlin.

Caitlin will be 18 years old in 6 days. We are going to be the parent's of an adult with Autism. I am not quite sure what the difference is going to be..but, I have aged 4 years just by typing this paragraph.

I went Caitlin's annual review meeting today for High School. I told these educators, in not so many words, that they had better get better at these meetings by the time Kiernan, our 7 year old, crosses their doors..believe me, they are pretty pathetic in the Special Education department in High School.

I like the people and the educators that work with Caitlin...they truly are good people. But, let's be honest, their hands are tied because of beaurocratic "bull". The higher ups in the Austin education system do not know what to do with our adult children with Autism.

Man...I guess this gives me something to do for the next 3 years as Caitlin ages out of the system on her 22nd birthday.

GO GOO....

I was cleaning up after dinner tonight and took the broom into the Therapy
Room to sweep up a bit. I walked in and saw my 2 sons in there.
Kiernan was watching Barney and Patrick was on the computer.

I said, "Hey boys, how's it going'?"

Patrick said, "Good"....
but...

Kiernan said "Goo"...

Go Figure !!!!

OVERTHINKING AUTISM....

When I really take the time to think about my children, I truly do not think about their Autism first and foremost. I think about them as individuals.

Sometimes, and this is just my opinion, parent's overthink the Autism aspect of their children, some of them who happen to have Autism.

Autism is not a negative in our home. I know..hard to believe...

Maybe, we as a family, are disillusioned...

Yet, maybe, we as a family are right on target.

I know my children are Autistic...but, personally, I have never ever let that define our children. They are far more than the label of Autism will ever stifle them to be.

Just today, I am in Kiernan's yearly review...the boy is at 3rd grade level and in the 2nd grade...Autism was not even brought up until we had to determine whether or not to reassess him...

I am so very proud of my children. They are amazing, gifted, talented, individuals who happen to have Autism. What do I think about their Autism..I don't...

STAR STUDENT...

Erin told me she had something to show me yesterday. Now, this is a 12-year-old who does not have much to do with me lately...so I was happy she was even speaking to me with a smile on her face.

Erin hands me a blue sheet of paper. On the paper was written...

CONGRATULATIONS! You have been nominated by your core team of teachers for DECEMBER STUDENT OF THE MONTH.

Erin is so proud, but not near as proud as her father and I are of her. Erin has come so far in her 12 years of life. Diagnosed with Autism at the young age of 14 months. Delayed in speech until she was 4 years old...smearing everything smearable until she was 9 years old....to now, a very functional and happy (except when I am in the room) 12-year-old Middle School student.

Erin sings almost all of the time. She always has a song in her head...she gets that from me, but DO NOT ever let her know that or she will stop.

Erin makes straight A's on her report card, without one bit of help from anyone. She is just smart. Her behavior is impecable and we are most proud of that.

CONGRATULATIONS Erin..you deserve it!!!

SCREAMING TO BE HEARD...

I was speaking with our 12-year-old daughter, Erin, last night. We were watching the Golden Globe Awards together. That was a surprise in itself..you see, she does not want much to do with me now since she has become a pre-teen. That is very Neuro-typical of her and a great surprise to me.

While we were watching, Kiernan, our youngest son, came out of his area...a downstairs room he likes to watch television and play on the computer...Kiernan was trying to tell us something and we could not figure it out. Finally, we realized his DVD had stopped and he was having trouble getting back to regular cable.

Erin mentioned how Kiernan is doing well by letting us know what he wants, without words.

I asked Erin if she remembered when she was non-verbal. She started speaking around the age of 4 years old. Before that, she screamed and cried ALL OF THE TIME....

Erin told me..."I WAS SCREAMING TO BE HEARD"!!!

Makes sense to me....

JETT'S LEGACY...

I am numbed by the recent news of John Travolta's and Kelly Preston's son Jett's death. Really, truly numbed.
I look at pictures of Jett from a very young age and then into his teenage years and I see my youngest and my oldest children. They have very dark hair with great eyes, just like Jett.
When I see the pictures of Jett Travolta, I see a child who was deeply loved and adored..you can just see this from his face. You also see the same expression in his parent's eyes when they are in his presence.
I am not a Scientologist, but I get their reasoning in the reincarnation philosophy.
How can a human with such soul on Earth, as Jett had, not continue on and possibly become something even greater in his next life. I like to believe that this life is not all we have to offer. I believe we take our experiences from our life here on Earth and continue on....hopefully being better in our next life.
How can this be all that there is?

I truly do not care if John and Kelly are Scientologists....I could give a rat's behind if Jett was ever diagnosed with Autism....does that really, truly matter?

I have been a fan of John Travolta's for 3 decades. I had his posters on my walls, much to my Mother's chagrin. I have seen Urban Cowboy over 100 times...sad, but true. Remember, I was an Agriculture Education major and on the Rodeo Team in college!

What I hope we all learn from Jett Travolta is that life is so short...much shorter for many. I love how the Travolta's have stated that they are thankful for the time they had with their son. I am positive that Jett felt the same. He was blessed to have them for parent's and they were even more blessed to be able to say they were the parent's of Jett Travolta. Rest in Peace Jett!!!!
Thanks to you, this mother of 6 hugs her kids just a bit tighter at night when I tuck them in...

READY, SET, GO...

Kiernan is ready for school. He brought us clothes..so we dressed him. He got his coat out of the closet, so we put it on. He got his backpack on....and now is patiently waiting for his bus...

Trouble is...the bus comes tomorrow!!

Silly boy !!!

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT...

Saturday, I cut my oldest son's, Patrick, hair. He loathes (no exaggeration) haircuts.
I only cut his hair every 4 months or so...so I cut it short in a buzz. He is so cute with it short.
Our electric razor petered out on me during the haircut, so I ran to Walgreen's to buy a
newer model.
Last night, Kiernan, our youngest son, brought me the new razor to open. Kiernan hates
a haircut worse than Little Patrick. In fact, it usually takes 4 adults to get his hair cut.
I opened the new razor and told Kiernan that we would cut his hair tomorrow.
Nope, he was insistent (without words, of course)....
So, at 9 pm, with my assistant Meaghan (his older sister), we cut Kiernan's hair.
I am so proud of how this young man sat and let us shave his head. What a difference
a few months make.

Kiernan is severely autistic. He is obsessive and compulsive. He is non-verbal. He is
happy for the most part...really, I have never met anyone who is happy all of the time....
and if they are, I generally don't trust them. Kiernan has a hard time with change, but
is doing an amazing job conforming to changes in his environment.
Kiernan is following instructions well at school and at home.
He is growing up to be a very smart and much calmer little boy.

So, any new Autism parent's out there, please keep in mind....
Children with Autism do get better with age and can learn to adjust to
society.
Now, with our help, we need to get Society to jump on board and except
our children.
Baby steps Jeanette, baby steps......

THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE...

Caitlin cannot find her headband. She has had this headband for at least 6 years. At night, after her bath, she wraps it around her wrist. In the morning, she takes off the headband and hands it to me when I ponytail her very long hair.
Caitlin is a creature of habit. She loathes change.
Meaghan and myself have spent the morning looking for this headband, to no avail.

Caitlin is a 17, almost 18, year old Autistic young woman. She is very good at compensating for most issues in her life. She really does ask for very little. She wants her Diet Sprite, Rold Gold Pretzels, Goldfish crackers, beef jerky or chicken strips and her Rice Krispie Treats. On a good day, she will have Chex Mix...
Caitlin goes to 11th grade in a regular high school. She attends regular classes with an aide. She makes all A's and B's. She has a 3.5 Grade Point Average.
Caitlin has impeccable behavior in school and amazing restraint in situations which would normally set her off. She can usually be redirected into calming down when she starts to get frustrated.

But....this headband thing is setting her off.
Setting her off for obsessing all day about a tattered old headband. A headband that in some small, unusual way, makes her feel calmer and happier.

So...off I go to look, once again, for this headband.
Wish me luck !!!!

WRAPPING IT UP...

Meaghan and Patrick were helping me wrap gifts yesterday. Meaghan was writing the names on the name tags and Little Patrick was placing the packages under our tree.
Kiernan, who before this year, has had NO interest in Christmas. Actually, he hasn't had any interest in any gifts..be it Birthday, Valentines, Easter and especially Christmas. He is more interested in the foods that are around the kitchen.
Well, lo and behold, Kiernan started to put packages under the tree. WOW !!!!

This morning, Kiernan brings me gift wrap and bows out of our gift wrapping box. I told him there were no more packages to wrap today.
Kiernan did his little noise that he does, when he is annoyed...kind of a quick grunting noise.
How can I ignore this request?

Kiernan and I spent the rest of the morning wrapping little things around the house. They are now gingerly placed under Meaghan's penguin Christmas tree, on the top of the landing upstairs.

Kiernan will be 8 years old in March. He is tall and lanky. He does not have words right now, but he does have a voice. He makes his demands and requests known. He asks for very little in this world. Just things to make him calm in a world that does not conform to his needs. He has to find ways to make him happy. So, for a brief moment this morning, we did just that. We wrapped.....

I just got my Christmas present early...Thank You Santa Claus....

SPEECH-LESS...

I was told, this morning, that our 8 (almost 9-year-old) son will be dismissed
from Speech services in May. This means that he no longer qualifies for any
services...AT ALL !!!!
What does this mean?
Does this mean that our son, who has been diagnosed with Autism is recovered or
cured?
Patrick has been working very hard, since he was born, to be able to speak in a way
that everyone understands him. He has been in speech services ever since he was
10 months old. Patrick has gone from pure frustration where no one understood a
thing he said...Meaghan would be our translator (she has a gift), to where for the last
2 years, Patrick has had a major speaking part in the school plays.
So, recovered...no, that is what you do to furniture!!
Cured...nah, that is what you do to meat!!

Patrick has succeeded by pure determination, undying devotion from therapists and
teacher's, great friends and family members who saw his greatness since the day he
was born.

Patrick still has many sensory issues and is a very sensitive little boy. He has a heart
as big as Texas and wears it on his sleeve. He is adored by all that meet him and has
had the same friends for years. He adds to his list of friends all of the time.
He loves baseball, football, wrestling and now hockey.

I cannot wait to tell Patrick the good news when he gets home today. He might
be a bit sad, because he has been seeing Ms. Marsha since he was 3-years-old.
She has helped him gain his voice and articulate better than any other 9 year old boys.
Marsha glows when she talks about Patrick...she is so proud of him and gladly
releases him from Speech...now, that leaves me SPEECHLESS.

BIRTHDAY WISHES...

This is 48...

Today, I turned 48 years old. I would never have predicted my life to be the way it is now.
I would NEVER have envisioned 6 children. The Autism, well, I have always been one up
for a challenge, so the Autism never scared me. It made me back up a step or two, but
I have never let it stand in my way or my children's way.

When I turned 25 years old, I thought that if I made it to 40, I have made it.
Well, I hit 30, 35, 40 and 45. My next big event is 50. 2 years is not that far
away.

Not to brag, but I feel and look better than I ever have in my life. I am healthier
and happier. I am so glad to be a mom.....a mom to my children.
I adore the man I am married to...
I love my mother more than ever.
I am so thrilled to have the friends I do...hand-picked of course!

I waited until I was 30 years old to become a mom. I am so glad I did.
As a 48 year old mother, I feel like I am 27.....I thank my children for that.
It is not easy to keep up with them...but, because of them, I can..!!!

HONOR AMONG THIEVES....

Believe it or not, some thieves have very good taste.

My friend, Mary, had her house broken into...and I mean broken...
The thieves broke the front door and basically destroyed it.

Amongst the rubble, the thieves found it appropriate to leave
behind one very important article....discarded on the top of the trash
heap they left behind was the biggest piece of trash of all....

Yes, Jenny McCarthy's book "LOUDER THAN WORDS"....Hell,
even the thieves have good taste.

Not to make light of a horrible situation, but truly, it was the only
laugh Mary has had since the robbery.....thank you Jenny for making
my friend have a ray of light in a bad situation...

IT'S PUZZLING TO ME....

The puzzle piece, I mean...
The puzzle piece was chosen to be the International "symbol" for Autism. Supposedly, person's with Autism were missing something....no one can figure out what is missing....so therefore, they are missing a piece of themselves.
My thought is that isn't everyone a puzzle piece then? Are we all not missing something...looking to achieve something more...always searching for something better in our lives.
Me, I want to write a book. Not the "Great American Novel"...just a book about life...my life.
I talk to almost everyone I meet. I like to find out some little something about everyone. Through doing this, I have found out that everyone has a story. Every person is still looking for something. Some people get lost on their way to finding what they want, ie, drugs, bad relationships, etc. Most all of them are working hard to get back on track.
As a mother of six children, 5 whom happen to have Autism, they are no more puzzling than anybody else out there. In fact, I believe persons with Autism know what they want more than a person not diagnosed with Autism.
Persons with Autism do not find themselves puzzling at all...it is quite the opposite. Maybe it is society that needs to be "fixed". Maybe we need to redefine Autism so people who don't know what it is won't be so puzzled by it. Parent's of Autistic children cannot even agree what "Autism" is. How do we expect society to figure it out?
Now that is puzzling!!!!!

BLAME IT ON THE RAIN....

Okay, I log onto my computer, like I do every morning while waiting for Kiernan's very early bus. There, on the computer, was a story about how researcher's at the University of Washington are saying children who live in areas with larger precipitation than normal have a greater chance of having Autism.

As you read further into the story, the researcher's explain that it is not the snow or rain causing the Autism, but it is the fact the children are inside longer than those of us who get to experience nicer weather conditions. Therefore, the children are exposed to the toxins in the home and the television.

I have been the mother of a child(ren) with Autism for over 17 years. I have been told that autism is caused by "cold" mothers, old fathers, vaccines, genes, immune deficiencies, televisions, too much coffee, drugs taken as a youth, and on and on and on. Can we not just
admit to the fact that Autism has been around forever. That we are now intelligent enough to decifer what Autism really is?

I finished reading Dr. Paul Offit's book "Autism's False Prophets", I have come to a better understanding about vaccines and Autism.

I would like to thank the good doctor for calling me back. As far as he knew, I was just another ranting "Anti-vaxxer", "Biomed Mama" who was calling to rake him over the coals. I assured him I wasn't.

I had some questions as I read the book and a very nice, calm, gentle-voiced man answered the questions for me...without making me feel stupid. Thank You.

I do not know what causes Autism. I know how to help my children with Autism. The choices we have made in our home have proven to be very helpful.

I do know that there is no cure for Autism. Autism is not curable, no matter what Ms. McCarthy or any DAN! doctor will tell you.

When you get the diagnosis for Autism, it is based on behaviors....not gut disorders. If you have healed your child's gut issues and they become more responsive and attentive, then you have cured your child's gut disorder. If your child loses their "Autism" label from "healing the gut", then your child was never autistic to begin with, and the doctor ? who labeled your child labeled them incorrectly.

When our oldest was labeled Autistic over 15 years ago, we had to have several consultations with the Neurologist. He would not label Caitlin Autistic until he was absolutely sure this is what she had...Autism. Once the label is placed upon your child, no matter what, they will always have the label of Autism.

You can chelate, biomedicate, reoxiginate (my word, don't get excited), and deyeast all you want...in the end, if your child has a true label of Autism, Autistic is what your child will be.

In Dr. Offit's book, Dr. Offit was very generous in his descriptions of the "false prophets". I was really hoping he would paint an uglier picture of the people who prey upon the parent's of Autistic children, but he told the truth about what these people really are and where they came from. I truly am glad there is a book out now that shows the medical side to vaccinations and not all of the "hype" that we have been exposed to by shoddy journalists, corrupt politicians and really bad actresses.

I read every book that comes out about Autism. I read every book there is to read about vaccinations. I too, have fallen prey to the propoganda that is in most of these books. After 15 years, and with a much clearer head, I can now say "I am free" from the lies about Autism and because of this, my children are much better for it.

"MY LAST YEAR.....

....AS A PRE-TEEN"!!!!
That is what was announced to me yesterday morning. The date of Erin's birthday.
Erin turned 12 years old yesterday. She is in the 6th grade and taking regular classes
without the need for an aide. Erin's report card was 6 A's and 2 B's.
Erin was born into this world SCREAMING. I gave birth to her in a Birthing Center. There
were no medical interventions..meaning, no epidural, no pain medication, no immunization
at birth...just me, Patrick and a wonderful midwife.
Erin was 10 pounds at birth and just at 23 inches. I thought I had given birth to a toddler.
She was always large and today, at the age of 12 years old, she is already 5' 9"....
Erin screamed until she turned 3 years old. She was frustrated. Erin started walking
at 8 months. She hated laying still. She would roll out of her bouncy chair when she was
2 months old.
When Erin began to talk, she became the happiest toddler in the world. She never stopped smiling. Erin became joyful and that has remained the same.
Erin did not speak until she turned 4 years old. She started talking and has not stopped.
Erin had trouble reading in Kindergarten and was almost held back. She taught herself
to read by the beginning of First Grade.
Erin has always accomplished whatever she has set her mind to. When she wanted to ride
her bike, without training wheels, she practiced on the grass until she could do it.

We do not know why Erin has come so far. She has had continuous Speech therapies. During
her most vital years Erin participated in 20 hours a week of OT, Speech, Play and Recreational Therapies. We did this until she was about 9 years old. Then she met all of her goals. Erin is a Success Story without all of the drama.
Erin still has some sensory issues...she is still Autistic. She is not cured or recovered. She remained gluten-filled and casein-full her whole 12 years, yet is surpassing her NT peers in academics. Socially, Erin is a butterfly whose wings are forever soaring.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds for Erin...the World is hers and thereis no holding her back. Happy Birthday Erin...keep reaching for those stars...they will be yours.

GUESS WHAT???

I'M AUTISTIC....

My son, Patrick is in the 3rd grade. He brought his report card home yesterday.
4 A's, 2 B's....all 4's in behavior and social skills...not bad, huh?

Today, a classmate did a report on Albert Einstein. The little boy reported that Albert Einstein might have been Autistic.
A classmate asked, "What is Autism"?
Little Patrick raised his hand and said, "Guess what?, I am Autistic"...
The classmate says, "Oh, Autism means you are smart".....

I love that school......