THE EXPERT.....

I would like to thank the Anonymous commenters on my last post for giving me the idea for this post.
First, one of them questioned what made me an expert in Autism....DUH !!!!!
1). I am the mother of 5 Autistic Children.....2 Severe, 1 Aspergers and 2 PDD-NOS. At one time we had 4 severely autistic children. 2 of them are now labeled PDD-NOS.
2). I have been in the "business" of Autism for over 21 years...if you count the 5 years I spent working with them in a residential treatment center...
3). I have PROVEN results my methods of treating autistic children WORK. I have children that can cope in public situations without much trauma. I DO NOT let the excuse that these children have Autism deter away from the fact that they are indeed children who need to be parented.
4). I am now OFFICIALLY a paid lecturer with an Autism Conference under my belt and many more to come.
5). I KNOW Autism...inside and out. I can define it and I can describe it.


To become an expert, one must practice, practice, practice....been there, DONE that.
One must have a familiarity with the problems in this area...been there, DONE that.
It takes 10 years to develop an Expertise in a specific area...been there, DONE that.

An expertise takes time to develop..I have had much time in the area of Autism.
An expert sees the world differently from novices...that is without question.
Experts have skills that novices DO NOT...don't worry, you guys will get the skills required to raise your Autistic children. With maturity, your children will get better. You will learn that your children are amazing people, once you try to stop changing their dynamics.
Expertise is domain specific...

I started this post as a bit of a joke...but as I type on, I realize that it is not funny.
Anonymous cowards find it okay to come onto my blog and disagree with what I write. I am okay with disagreements, but not with people who are too "ashamed" or too "insecure" in themselves to face me for what they disagree with.

Some of you guys question the severity of my children's autism by what you saw on an hour show. With commercials, you had 45 minutes into my very "edited" life.
What you did not see are the hours it took to make sure Caitlin could handle the door-knock, the airplane ride, the limo, the hotels, the resort, the skiing, the ride back, the reveal and the move-in date....
You did not see the hours of time we spent with Kiernan to make sure he was happy and felt secure...
Obviously, we did this correctly.
Not with any medications, I might add.

You did not see Caitlin being told that if she could not handle the crowd, to tell the "amazing" producers and they would quiet the crowd. The crowd was told the same.

You also did not see the way our children were behaved in public. I have always gotten complements on their behaviors, but these children handled the Extreme situation like troopers. They did far beyond what we as parent's expected from them and everyone around us were amazed.

This took many years of working with therapists and teacher's, but boy did it pay off. This also is a testament to my husband and myself as parent's. We love these children with all that they are, including the Autism. If not for the autism, they would not be them.

Now, for the BIG question....
No, my husband has not been diagnosed with autism of any kind. We received alot of comments that people thought he might have autism also. You saw 5 minutes of a man who was interviewed on camera at a very special time. He was nervous. My husband is not the "media whore" I am. I love the camera, he hates it.
If he does have autism, it would not matter. He is a loving husband and father. He works 2 jobs to make sure we are taken care of. HE is the rock this house was built, but he is very unassuming and would like to stay that way.

So, to you naysayers who would like to challenge my EXPERTISE...think again......
To you who claim I pat myself on the back too much...OH WELL...I know I am a good mother and I know these children will excel in all points of life. They may have more hurdles to cross than other children, but that is what I am here for...to guide them over the hurdles.

My job, as their mother, is to make sure they are prepared for the life ahead of them. But, more important, my job is to make sure that life is prepared for them. By doing so, I must prepare Society for the O'Donnell children and others. If we expect Society to accept our children, we must teach our children how to adjust to their Society. This must work on both sides.
I gave birth to 6 children. The Autism label came after they were born. My job is to make sure they are well-adjusted and good people. That is not easy work, but I have been so rewarded by them. I believe Society will be rewarded by them also....stay tuned, they have alot to teach us.

PARENTING IS NOT SO DIFFICULT....

What is happening to the world of Autism?
There are so many fights going on right now in the world of Autism that if we do not get our act together, no one outside the world of Autism is going to take us seriously.

I am speaking at an Autism conference next week. I am speaking as a mother of 5 Autistic children. Not as a mother of 5 children with Autism. The reason for that....my 13 year old daughter Deirdre explained to me, in very simple terms (because that is what I need) that she wants to be known as a person who is Autistic.
The reason, you might ask......If she is an Autistic person, it is who she was born to be.
If she is a person with Autism, the Autism can be taken away.
That reasoning I can respect.

When I introduce my children, I do not introduce them as Autistic children. My children are individuals who happen to be autistic.
I am lucky, they do not misbehave in public..they learned very early that they would be removed from situations if they could not behave appropriately in public.
Even Caitlin and Kiernan know this.

Just because you have an Autistic child does not give them free reign to disturb others in a public situation. If that was the case, we could allow any person to disrupt any situation.
If you want your Autistic children to be taken seriously, you must take your Autistic child seriously.

How can we prepare our Autistic children for their future and being accepted by society if we allow them, as children, to act inappropriately in public?

Just because your child was given the diagnosis of Autism does not mean you have to stop parenting your child....

A MOTHER'S DAY....

To some mother's, Mother's Day is waking up in their bed with a tray of freshly made muffins and coffee. On that tray, is a beautiful long-stemmed rose with a Sunday newspaper. This lucky mother is allowed to sit in bed and gingerly read the paper...possibly even allowed to complete the very large Sunday crossword puzzle.
Okay, back to reality.....
I awoke on this Mother's Day to a mess of grated cheese on the floor.....coffee spilled on my counter.....pillow cushions thrown off the couch.....

I realize that some of my fans...the anonymous blog readers....accuse me of being negative about my children. I can assure you, when I write about my children, not one negative thought enters my head. What I write about is the reality of raising 6 children, 5 of whom happen to have been diagnosed with autism.

I have been given a huge responsibility to raise these amazing, gifted children. I have been chosen, so to speak, to make sure these children get the same chances any child in the world should have. My goal is to let my children know they can be whatever they want to be in life and no one or nothing can stop that.
I have the responsibility to teach society that my children belong as much as anyone on this planet and they cannot stop them from achieving any goal they choose to have.
My children have lofty dreams. I assume they get that from me. After all, I was going to marry David Cassidy and John Travolta at one point in my life.

I wake up every morning to 6 beautiful and gifted children....I still am in awe of each and every one of them. They each bring so much to me and our family. They are individually extraordinary, but together, they are magic.

As they grow up and start realizing their own dreams, I will be there to make sure they can achieve their dreams. There is absolutely nothing they cannot accomplish. I have tried very hard to make sure they are aware of this. That has been my job every day....but, it is even more sweet on Mother's Day.

AUTISM: PURE & SIMPLE

Those that know me are aware that I am a very proud person. I am not brilliant, but by no means am I stupid. I do, after all, hold a high school graduation diploma from Pflugerville High School, class of 1978. I was not the valedictorian, but I was not the bottom of the class of 80 students..
My point...yes, I have a point.
I have been trying, for almost a year now, to keep up with all the scientific mumbo-jumgo on the autism forums. I am now officially giving up on trying to figure out what these parent's of autistic children are fighting about while trying to figure autism out.
I am going to stick with parent's forums who give advice...I mean sound advice on parenting autistic children. Not what supplements to give, or how much DMSA, B12, etc. This conversation has just become to damn depressing for me.
I have better things to do...such as raise the best children I can.
I have no reason to read about the causes or curations of autistic children. After all, I do not do biomedical interventions on my children, so why am I there? Just to get my blood boiling, I assume.
I will let the parent's of these children try to figure out, on their own, what they are looking for.
I have already found the peace I am looking for. I have had 16 years to figure this out.

Autism is not difficult.
Autism is not a disease, but a disorder.
Autistic people do not need to conform to society, but Society needs to conform to Autistic people.
Adult Autistic people need to know they have a purpose in this world. They need to know that we accept them. They need to know that we cannot function without their brilliance and beauty.
Whether they are scientists, artists, math geniouses, parent's , siblings, students or anything else they choose to be.
Autistic adults will be a vital part of our future....I hope that society wakes up and accepts this.
I know, in our house, we did this a long time ago......

Autistic people are truthful, non-judmental, caring, loving, smart, artistic and genuine people.
They expect no more from anyone than what they give..and believe me, they give much more than they receive.
Autistic adults want one thing, They want to belong....PURE AND SIMPLE.

THE CULT OF NEURODIVERSITY...

For those of you who are new to me and my blog...may I say welcome. To those of you who have read my blog for a while...may I say Thank You. Recently, the forums that I read daily have taken a weird turn. The Biomedical community, besides quoting complete whack jobs (so-called authorities) for their "discovery" that autism is Mercury Poisoning (WHATEVER) are stating the the Neurodiverse community is a CULT. First and foremost, is that the Pot calling the Kettle BLACK or what? The Neurodiverse DO NOT put every quacky doctor who preaches what they want to believe on a pedestal. The Neurodiverse DO NOT push untested and unregulated medicine into their children's bodies. The Neurodiverse DO NOT resort to horrible name-calling when they are proving the theories of the Biomedical community wrong. I fell in love with Autism in 1972, when as an 11 year old girl, I was chosen to babysit a 2 year old boy with autism. This young boy was a handful..he did not want to sleep at bedtime, he did not want to keep a diaper on, he did not want to eat.....etc. As a young girl, I was baffled by what to do....After several nights of babysitting, I came to love watching him and his ways of doing things. This family moved after a year of me babysitting. This little boy would be 35 years old now...God I am OLD. Next came my job at a residential treatment center when I was 24 years old. I worked with adolescent autistic teenage girls. These girls were very much like my Caitlin. They would jump up and flap, they would covet their items, they would rock and stim...the only problem was, they were heavily medicated. That is what they did with these children in the 1980's. They did not realize they could educate these amazing children. The doctors wrote them off as mentally retarded....I knew better. These girls would be in their early 30's now.....God I am really OLD. Then finally, came my real awakening into Autism. 16 years ago, I gave birth to Caitlin. What mother would not be in awe of this brilliant child. Yes, she did not talk until she was 9 years old....maybe, she had nothing to say. She walked by 9 months and played with her toys...maybe, not the way a Biomedical person would want their child to play, but in the way Caitlin wanted to play. Caitlin always did things a bit differently. In ballet class, she would be in the circle, but face the opposite direction. This was okay, because she was participating...according to the teacher. In gymnastics, Caitlin was in the boy's group....she did better there. In art class, Caitlin excelled. She does drawings that Pollack would be proud to call his own. She has caught the eye of many an art dealer. I have only had the heart to sell one of her portraits. Caitlin led the way to how we treat all of our autistic children and our NT child. Caitlin let us know that she was happy, healthy, alert, smart, artistic, athletic, gifted and brilliant.... Caitlin let us know that she was not a label, but a thriving human being. Caitlin has enabled us to have the knowledge and foresight to raise our other children to be the best they can be.... I am so proud to be part of the Neurodiverse community....I am sure my children will be welcome with open arms....now that is a CULT I can live with.

THE LABEL MAKER....

I was concerned after the shootings at Virginia Tech that the media would somehow blame the shooter by labeling him "autistic". Lo and behold, it happened. After reading the shooter's families comments, I realized they "labeled" this young man a very long time ago. He never had the family support to make it in this world from the beginning of his existence. Once we label a person, they then become what we have named them. If I carried around a labelmaker, I could label every person I see. The only problem is, I would label them differently than you.... I see people differently than you see people. We all have our perceptions and they are all unique. I look in the mirror and see a totally different person than the one you look at. People with autistic children cannot even agree on the label of autism. Some call it PDD-NOS, some call it "mercury poisoning", some parent's have to add additional labels to their children's diagnosis of autism (such as autism with ADD, ADHD, OCD, whatever. That one really chaps me. When my children were labeled "autistic", in no way did this change my view of these children. The label of autism just defined some of their behaviors, not who they will become in life. The label of "autism" did not define them...being autistic does not make them any less amazing than they were before the label. We need to get rid of the labels society has placed upon people. Once we rid ourselves with these labels, every person will be on the same playing ground. People will not become destined to be something they do not have to be. The world will have less to hate about people who are like them-unlabeled. When I look at my children every morning, I do not see a label upon them. But, if I did, this would be what I would label them-if I carried around a labelmaker.... Caitlin-perfection Deirdre-perfection Erin-perfection Meaghan-perfection Patrick-perfection Kiernan-perfection

THE INSANITY OF IT ALL...

Okay, It has finally happened, the select group of Biomedical Mama's (the BM's), as I like to call them, have lost their ever-loving minds. Just this week, on this particular autism forum, this select group of 3 BM's have cited 2 doctors as the know-all and be-all of autism. It just so happens, with a little research (and I mean very little research), you find out both of these "doctors" have in fact lost their licenses to practice medicine. One of them has even lost the right to raise their own child. The scary part is that these BM's would allow these "doctors" to treat their autistic children..... Also, I see that the man who loves to hate autism is blaming Mr. Leitch for the death of a young man in Tucson.....I am beginning to worry alot about this hater of autism. He needs some help and quickly. Now, how can these parent's ever think they can begin to help their autistic children if they are listening to every quack out there. Are they at the point where they are grasping at straws? I am really frightened for their children.....I am frightened that they will have to succumb to more treatments in the name of "recovery". Around every corner is another so-called "doctor", with a bag full of snake oil with these children's name on it. The insanity of it all is that the parent's of these children will buy this crap and give it to their children. I spent the day today with a roomful of parent's of autistic children. These children were newly diagnosed. These parent's were scared and nervous. I was introduced to them as being the parent of 5 autistic children. These parent's looked at me in dismay. I asked them to please listen to what was being told to them. To please sit back and realize that their lives were just about to get a bit off-course. That they will have challenges they will never believe. That they will experience a life they were never expecting to. I asked them to please not think the worst, but expect the best. To not think their child could not be anything other than they thought before the diagnosis. I look at my children with their rocking, buzzing, humming, flapping and spinning. I look how they line up toys. I see how they get into their play and ignore all around them. Who am I to say that is wrong? Who am I to say that they are not doing what is normal? I have been given the challenging task of raising 6 of the most amazing people in the world. This is not an easy task, but one I relish. I go to bed every night so happy that I am their mother. I wake up every morning happy with the fact that these children will be in my sight within minutes. I smile each and every time I see them. I want them to they that they are vital on this earth and they will continue to be so. There are no challenges that they cannot meet...and I will be there every step of the way.

BIRTHDAY & ANNIVERSARY All-in-One....

Today is Kiernan's 6th birthday and the 5th anniversary of his autism diagnosis. He has come such a long way with both monumental dates.
6 years ago, he was born, by c-section....he was breach and in distress. He was 3 weeks early, and still a whopping 9 pounds. He was almost 24 inches long. He is still very tall and skinny. Not much has changed there.
He was born with a smile and a dimple. I still love his little dimple.
By the time he was 1 year old, we knew that he was also autistic. We should have been used to the diagnosis, but I remember having to take a minute to put it into my mind. 4 with autism. Now that will be hard.
Deirdre was not diagnosed until a year later.

Kiernan is still very much autistic. He rocks, stims, hums...he is non-verbal, but uses sign-language and his Vanguard. He leads you to what he wants. He is independent and strong.
He is trying very hard to potty train. Not an easy fete. But, you see, I do not stress about the potty. There is so much more in life that is harder than potty training.
I do not know what Kiernan's future holds for him. Like my other children, I hope he matures into an independent adult. I can hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.
Like my other children, I adore him. He makes me smile when he walks in a room. He reminds me of why I am here on this Earth...to be his Mommy.

Happy Birthday my dear sweet little soul. I hope it is a happy one for you.

RETURN OF THE POD PEOPLE....

Saturday morning , the lovely people who helped unload and go through all of our pods returned to help us set up for our garage sale. They helped us set up over 14 tables of goodies. We started at 6 am and did not finish until 6 pm.
We had media there, so it was an opportunity for our family to help endorse the University of Texas Autism Project we have come to love so much. The goal of our garage sale was to net $1000.00 for this Program.
I am happy to say that we reached our goal. I am thrilled.

On another note....
Remember Robert, the young man I had met on Friday at the grocery store?
Well, Robert came to our home with his mother, father and Grandmother. He was even more interesting and lovely the second time I met him.
Robert comes from a family with style, grace and mostly love.
He was introduced to everyone and they were equally impressed.
Robert came inside and jumped on the trampoline. He loved it.
I hope Robert and his family can become a part of our extended family. He is one heck of a young man.

After the garage sale, we all gathered in the back yard, around a keg of course. We grilled hamburgers and enjoyed the evening with all of our family and friends.
We have a diverse group of people in our extended family. We have friends that are Democrats and we have friends who are Republicans. We have friends with NT children and friends with children on the spectrum. We can all gather together and get along splendidly. No mishaps or fights among any person.
Why in this world where diversity is so needed, is it so hard to accept Autism? I do not understand what is so hard about that......

I Saw Into My Future...

Today I went to the grocery store with 4 of my 6 darlings. Not an easy fete, but if I give Kiernan a donut with sprinkles, we do great.
I was walking by the deli, buying potato salad and cole slaw for after our garage sale tomorrow. I need to feed these great college kids who are helping us out tomorrow. I noticed a very tall, very handsome young man. He was buzzing while he was walking and flapping his hands in front of his face. I was pleased to see him and instantly thougth "AUTISTIC".
I finished my shopping and was going down my last aisle. I saw this very pretty woman and next to her was the handsome young man I had seen earlier. The lady and I made eye contact and then smiled at each other. She knew and I knew.
Later, at the check-out counter, while unloading my groceries onto the conveyor belt, this lovely woman approaches me. She said, "congratulations on the home, I hope you are enjoying it.". I told her we were and thanked her. She then introduced me to her son, Robert. She told me Robert was also autistic. I told her that I saw him earlier and had guessed that.
Robert shook my hand and got very excited when he found out we got the Extreme Makeover house. He had watched it on television.
I told his mom about the garage sale and to bring Robert by tomorrow and he could come inside to see the house. I told Robert about the trampoline room. He seemed pleased about that.
I asked what school Robert attended and his mother told me he was no longer in school. He was 21 years old. She homeschooled him from the 5th grade on up. I asked if he lived at home and she replied that he did.
Robert held eye contact with me while he talked to me. He was very pleasant in his speaking voice and I was thrilled to have met him. I hope to get to know this family better.
What a gift that was for me to meet Robert today. It gives me so much hope for all of my children, but especially Caitlin and Kiernan.
Thank you Robert...I got to see a bit into my future....I hope it is as shiny as yours.

What are Parent's Looking For????

I must admit, I am stumped....

I am stumped by what I read from parent's of autistic children...what the heck are you looking for from your children?
Are you looking for a child who is accepted in the community?
Are you looking for a verbal child?
Are you looking for a happy child?
Are you looking for a calm child?
Are you looking for a child that fits into the norm of what society calls normal?

When Caitlin was diagnosed with autism almost 15 years ago, we felt lost. We looked for all of the answers. Unfortunately, there were not that many to our questions.
We read and read about autism. I thank goodness there was not much out there in the means of what they are offering now.

By the time Erin was diagnosed, we realized that our world would be okay. We realized that we had a rocky road with Erin, but with maturity, OT and Speech, she would get better. We also made sure Erin got extensive play therapy and Physical therapy. That worked for Caitlin as well.

Patrick showed autistic tendencies by 18 months and Kiernan by 12 months. We intervened immediately with both. They had in-home therapies and then Early Childhood.

For no reason at all, Erin and Patrick have come out of their severity....
Caitlin is still severe, but very functional and will contribute to society in some form...that is up to her.
We have no idea about Kiernan yet....he has so much further to go. He will get there.
Just this week he said, MAMA.....OMG.....who'd have thought....

Deirdre is a whole other story. Asperger's is just a different way of saying BRILLIANT. She will be of no worries to her father or myself.

Kiernan is sitting beside me, lining up his toys in an orderly fashion, calm as he can be.
Occasionally he is flapping and buzzing. I like this time with him.
Who am I to say this in inappropriate behavior?
Caitlin is upstairs, creating a beautiful portrait in her new art room....I hope some day to share her art with the world....

I volunteer at our school and have seen what society call normal. Believe me, I am much happier with what we have at home.

The AUTISM Around Me.....

As I sit here in the dining room, I am watching my youngest son Kiernan lining up Dragonball Z toys. He is very careful in his endeavor and not one is out of line. While lining up the toys he is humming.
I know many parent's of autistic children who would think this behavior is inappropriate. My question is WHY? Why is his lining up toys and humming inappropriate? Is it any different than someone else doing a jigsaw puzzle? I have observed many people do jigsaw puzzles in my 46 years. Some people separate the pieces before doing the puzzle by color. Some people do the outside of the puzzle first. Some people just go into the box and go to it.....
Which way is the correct way?

Who told parent's of autistic children that certain behaviors are not acceptable in society? Isn't our society full of diverse people? Isn't that what makes a society?

I love when Caitlin buzzes while watching her favorite movie on her DVD player. I love how she still flaps and jumps when she is happy. I think that is what makes Caitlin her unique self.
Sure she gets stared at in the grocery store when she does this behavior, but frankly, who cares?
I love how Deirdre looks when she is about to ask a question and she is not quite sure how you will answer it....I love that Deirdre could care less what brand of jeans you buy her or what haircut is the latest style. I love that Deirdre is obsessed with the Beatles so much, that she thinks she discovered them.
I love how Erin believes she will be the next American Idol. I love how she sings at the top of her lungs. I adore how sweet she is with her friends. I still think it is amazing how she can calm herself by rubbing a soft piece of fabric or wrapping herself in a blanket.
I love how Meaghan can be as sassy as a 15 year old and still have the innocence of a 9 year old. I love how people flock around Meaghan and think she is the coolest person alive...which she is by the way.
I love how little Patrick makes his wrestling toys wrestle in a ring like the professionals. I love how he knows every word to every Country song. How he can memorize the top 20 country music countdown every week.
I love how Kiernan bounces on his big red ball and giggles in glee. I love how Kiernan picks through his lucky charms and puts them all in piles of color. I love how Kiernan gets hugs from all the little girls at school and looks at them so oddly.

Kiernan has alot of the behaviors at the age of 5 that Caitlin had at the same age. Now, at 16, Caitlin's behaviors have calmed down or stopped. She does still flap and buzz when she needs to. This is okay. She does the buzzing to drown out sounds she does not want to hear. She flaps when she is very happy and needs to release her happiness.
What kind of parent would that make me if I demanded she stop this behavior?

I have been the parent of an autistic child for 16 years. I have learned in this time to accept and relish every moment with these children. I have learned that it is not for my children to be accepted by society, but for society to accept my children.
This will happen...and it will happen in MY children's lifetime.

THE POD PEOPLE...

Last weekend, Saturday the 10th, we arranged to have our old home belongings delivered back to us. You see, when we received the Extreme Makeover home, they packed up all of our old belongings and put them in storage. They allow you so many days to keep them in storage until they start charging you the monthly fee.
We knew it would be quite a task, but we had no idea how big it was going to be.
Patrick, my husband, and myself decided we do not need anything back from the old house. Since EMHE supplied us with all new items, we did not need to bring any clutter back into our new home. We decided to hold a garage sale and donate all the proceeds to the amazing University of Texas Autism Project. We spent a Saturday with these young adults and educators and they changed our lives.
Now, back to the storage dilemma.
To go through our belongings, we had to somehow get help. We had over 25 pods of belongings.....yes, we were pack rats.....WERE.
The fine people at the University Of Texas Autism Project sent out emails to all of their colleagues and low and behold, at my house on Saturday were over 30 people to help. EUREKA!!!!!
Through the pods we went. We trashed the garbage into a huge dumpster donated by the builder of our new home and tagged the rest for our garage sale next Saturday. We worked from 8am until 8pm. We got everything done...I KNOW...everything.
During the day, my husband and myself were so overwhelmed by the help we were receiving, we decided to host a barbecue that night. It is after all....Texas.
We went and got a keg of beer and some burgers to grill. Everybody pitched in and helped in the kitchen and outside. My children were in hog heaven. We ate, drank, and danced all night.
At 12:30am, we said goodbye to the last person.
Not only has this house changed my families life, it has changed the lives of all of our friends OLD and NEW. This house has strengthened our bonds to the community and it is overflowing in love.
We are thrilled to share our home with our friends and neighbors. They helped get it built and they will never know what that really means to us. We can tell them, but they will never really know.
Next Saturday, March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, we are hosting a benefit garage sale. We will have over 30 volunteers again to help. I cannot wait......
I call it RETURN OF THE POD PEOPLE......

If you are in the neighborhood, stop by....I would love to see you.

GENIOUS....

GENIOUS...that is how I describe my child Deirdre...pure GENIOUS.

Deirdre is home sick today, she just doesn't feel well.
I was cleaning up the morning mess and Deirdre comes downstairs. She stands there as if she wants to ask me a question..that is how she does it.
I asked her what was on her mind.
She says, and I quote, "Mom, do you think there should be a cure for autism?"
I explain to Deirdre that I do not believe there will be a cure, but people are really trying to find one...
Deirdre asks me, "why do they want to find a cure for something that is not a disease?"
I explain that there are people out there who believe it is cureable.
I then ask my Deirdre, "Do you think there should be a cure?"
"Do you think you should be any different than you are?"

After a second of thought, Deirdre replied, "I think I am just fine the way I am".

PURE GENIOUS........

She then told me she found out about this on Wikipedia....she told me there were people out there that were just like her. She found Aspies For Freedom, she found Neurodiversity.com, she found Right Brain/Left Brain....she has found a place for her feelings and intelligence.
You see, sometimes (just sometimes), I am not as smart as Deirdre...hard to believe, I know!

If you see Deirdre out there in Acceptance Land, give her a shout....
She is a great kid with an amazing mind.
PURE GENIOUS......

THROUGH MY EYES...

I have worn glasses for many years...since the awkward age of 9 years old. I hated wearing them then, but now I use my frames as part of my wardrobe. It is fun to be funky sometime.
What I am getting at is that my vision is pretty lousy. Without my glasses, I cannot see 4 feet in front of me.
Yet, through my aging worn-out eyes, I see things others have a really hard time seeing.

I have been reading alot about autism lately. You really cannot help it....Autism is EVERYWHERE. I get recognized all over as the "Mom of the Autisitic children"...I like that one.

What I am reading disturbs me beyond belief. Every one is determined to find the cause of Autism...I have read it is too much television, not enough television, mother's, father's, age at time of conception for both parties, misdiagnosis (my personal favorite), over-diagnosis, genes, Immune Disorders, etc.
It really is becoming quite ridiculous and quite a little money-making scheme for alot of not-so-nice people.
Today, I read where one mother of an autistic child tells another mother to get a second mortgage on her home to finance her biomedical treatments and her DAN! doctor. WHAT????

Ladies and Gentlemen, you are the parent's of autistic children. They will always be autistic children. With maturity and much, much LOVE, your children WILL GET BETTER....I promise.

How discouraging it must be to lose so much time measuring and counting out pills, inserting suppositories, rubbing creams, etc into these children...and in the end you have an autistic child.
How discouraging it must be to believe that you are watching recovery on a big screen at a DAN! conference....and in the end all you see is a more mature autistic child.



My family has been involved with autism for 16 years. They have not always been easy. We have had all of the ups and downs involved with raising autistic children. We have watched these amazing children go from the worst autism has to offer to respected individuals in our community.
I DO NOT understand why parent's of autistic children have such a difficult time in dealing with the autism. The autism is a condition your child has, it does not define your child.
If you feel the need to define them, then purchase one of the tee-shirts that so love to label the child.

So THROUGH MY EYES....as poorly in vision as they are....I see a home full of the most amazing children:

I see:
Caitlin-my artist
Deirdre-my philosophist
Erin-my rock star
Meaghan-my governor
Patrick-my wrestling country singer
and
Kiernan-my sunshine on a rainy day

And that to me is so much better than 20/20 vision

THE FORTUNE COOKIE......

After we finished dinner tonight...I made Chicken Stir Fry...we opened up our fortune cookies. Erin was first..."keep in touch with your form of the arts", that is soooo Erin. She is our daughter who received the karaoke room.
Meaghan was second...hers was "others will enjoy your radiance". Again, that is Meaghan..our non-autistic daughter who is nothing less than radiant.
Deirdre's was third..."someone admires your beauty"...Deirdre is our wall-flower. She is a stunner in hiding.
Then came mine...."you will become an accomplished writer"....EUREKA !!!!

All of my adult life I have only wanted to be a mother and a writer. Now, because of my fortune cookie, it can happen. I love to write.

Before I opened my cookie, I thought about all that has happened to us in the past 3 months. The Extreme Makeover of our home and lives, the new friends we made and have kept with us, the amazing changes in our children and ourselves.....what more fortune could I want.

As I have written since I have started to comment about our new home, we have decided to keep the negatives out of our life. This includes the people who do not want to understand our children or feel the children are too difficult for them to manage. This includes some family members on both my husband's and myself's side.
We have kept our amazing friends and added so many more to the family. This has added so many bonuses to our children's lives.

I still continue to read the AW Forum, but now feel it is not the place for me....The people who post there do not want to know what to do for autism. They want to complain and whine about why their children have autism. What used to be a nice forum to chat and get to know other parent's has become a place where certain "bullies" feel they can "rule the roost" so to speak.
Unfortunately, these women have no idea what autism is....they think they do, but they don't.
They take their amazing children and make them guineau pigs for any doctor who promises them a cure. They take these darling children and do procedures to them that end up causing seizures...at least in one of their children.
The sad part is that there are parent's out there in Autismland, who are looking for answers, and these women think they can give them the answers....AS IF !!!! Better yet are the YouTube videos that parent's of autistic children subject you to....a whole 9 minutes of crying...WTF?????
I have been criticized for speaking my mind...that is just what I do...you don't agree with me, DON'T READ MY BLOG !!!!!
In the future...I can say...DON'T BUY MY BOOK !!!!

NEURODIVERSITY....

One must remember, that I have been in the world of AUTISM for 16 years. I did not come upon this yesterday, or even last year. But, last year, I did come upon Neurodiversity by accident....
You see, I was at a point in my life that I knew there was something more to Autism. I did not believe Autism was the end of the world for my children or my family. Our financial situation was not pretty, but our children were thriving in school and in the community.
I was a member of a local Autism Message Board and it was becoming quite depressing reading all of the new procedures these parent's were doing to their children. I would respond to these parent's about our home. How our children are progressing without the use of these procedures. I just wanted, especially new parent's, to know that they did not have to go to such extremes to "recover" or "cure" their children.
Upon my Google search for Autism, I found the AutismWeb Forum message board. I started reading the messages. I read the pro-biomedical side and the anti-biomedical side. I was in heaven that I found people out there, in cyber-space, that thought the way I did about Autism. That there were parent's out there that accepted their Autistic children.

As I began to post messages and try to give my opinion, I quickly found out that the Neurodiverse, as we are called, are not readily accepted on this site. The biomedical community seems a bit "put-off" with anything the ND have to offer. It is the Biomedical way or the Highway to most of them. I have never seen such hate spewed to others. What is wrong with listening to others? Why do the Biomedical parent's feel the need to defend themselves so vehemently? Why are they so damn angry?

Through the Neuro-diverse, I have learned alot. I have learned through this group that you do not have to behave hatefully. Dignity is what I see....that is what I am trying to teach to my children....DIGNITY. I do not see name-calling or anyone hating anyone else. I do not see people talking behind other's backs on locked message boards. Everything is out there for the world to see. And that is all the Neurodiverse is trying to do, in my opinion, is to let the World see that Autism and person's with the disorder can fit perfectly in this place we call society.

I, as a mother, only want my children to be who they are meant to be. They are strong, intelligent, well-loved, admired children. What parent could ask for more?
Through the ND community, I have learned to do this better. I have learned that our community was very happy to embrace all of our children...autistic or not.
I thank them for that.

I started this post before our Extreme Makeover Home Edition show aired. I waited to post it, because I knew there would be people, namely 2, who thought it was okay to demean me and my children.

The Extreme Makeover event changed more than our home...it changed our lives. It made our family closer. It made us realize that we were doing the correct things for our children all along.
We have met some amazing people through our journey with EMHE..the producer's, the "stars", and the crew, the people of Crested Butte, CO, the ski instructors..(hello Pablo) and everyone involved have all become family to us.
We were a bit nervous about the changes and the effects it would have on our kids, but they were amazing. Autistic children have a hard time with any change in their routines, but our children were awesome. Not even a whimper on the airplanes. We were so proud.
Not once did we have to video tape an episode of "OCD" for the world to see...amazing. Not once did we have to show our children having a fit...not Temper Tantrum 1 or Temper Tantrum 2...if you know what I mean....

The only positive we wanted to show out of Extreme Makeover was that our children were awesome....and the producer's made sure that happened. Through them and Ty, Paige, Eduardo, Paulie, and Tanya the world saw that autism is not a disability...we truly thank them for that.

UT Autism Project ROCKS....

We were invited, by the wonderful people at the University Of Texas Autism Program to attend a workshop yesterday. They invited all the teacher's, therapists and autism specialists at AISD that have anything to do with our children. They also invited all of our family and friends.
This was done after the program at UT discovered our family through Extreme Makeover.
We attended from 9:30 am to 3:30 pm. They provided breakfast and lunch.
Then we began.
All 6 children were led to the gymnasium and introduced to about 20 of the most amazing college student's alive. These young men and women are making autism and the education of autistic children their lives.
The kids took to them immediately and into the classroom the adults went.
I spent the next 2 hours listening intently on the way play therapy, incorporated in the home and in the classroom, is essential for ALL children. But, mostly for Autistic children.
This wonderful instructor introduced the program and implemintations as a therapy, not a "cure". I liked her right off of the bat.
After the lecture, we were taken into the gym, where we were put with the children at different stations.
I know, I am annoying when it comes to talking about my children.....BUT, my children are AMAZING. Not one of them had a temper tantrum, breakdown, meltdown or any behavioral problems at all. They were giggly, happy and compliant.
After completing the day, I was asked to be interviewed by 2 local television stations that were there recording the day's events with my children.
Being the media "whore" that I am ( or so I am told that I am called ), I was interviewed. I must admit, I love the camera. The reporters asked me about the day, the program and my children.
Then they asked the big question, "What about the new data of 1:150 autistic children"?
I asked them if they wanted my "honest" opinion or what I really thought?
They said, "Go for It"...
I told them that I believe the good people who really want to get autism correct will go back to the drawing board. They will start where Leo Kanner started.....classic autism. They need to shut the PDD umbrella and make a new autism diagnosis criteria.
Why does every disorder have to sit under the "autism" umbrella? That just makes no sense.

I hope that Pam and Jody, the women who run the UT program get National exposure. I hope the world learns about their approach to teaching autistic children.
I wish every educator, parent, family member, and friend of an autistic child could take this course. These 2 women could change the way autistic children are treated in the school systems and at home.
They take sensory integration and incorporate it into the home and classroom.

The week before we attended the program, they had a major setback. The gymnasium where they kept their equipment was flooded and they lost most of their therapy equipment. The University will not replace it....they need donations.
We are working on a fundraiser for this amazing program...any ideas out there????

SWEET 16....

Yes, it is true, my daughter Caitlin turned 16 today. She was born on Feb. 8, 1991 at 1:37 AM.
She came in at 8 lbs. 11 oz. She was one of the smaller babies I gave birth to.
Caitlin was 2 weeks late, and I was so happy to see her. She was beautiful. Big blue eyes and the most beautiful face. She seemed in shock at birth, but she came very fast. She was born in the ER, because they did not have time to prep me. No epidural, no drugs at all.
Caitlin screamed furiously from the day she was born. She never slept at night and she wore me out. I thought it was something I was doing wrong as a new mother. I knew something was wrong from birth, but promised this child she would never need for anything. I have tried to keep that promise.
As Caitlin grew, she met all milestones. She walked at 9 months, but NEVER crawled. She babbled, but NEVER spoke. I took her to the doctors, but not one would listen to me.
Finally, after 4 doctors, I found one who would listen. Dr. Blumberg told me he was worried about her not talking....Caitlin was 2 1/2.
We started interventions immediately. She was enrolled in Speech Therapy 2 times a week, Occupational Therapy 1 time a week and Physical Therapy 1 time a week.
She was enrolled in a preschool for regular kids and given a one-to-one. She has had one ever since.
Caitlin continued to do better. But, still no words and alot of behavioral problems. We tried everything from GFCF, Supplement powders (what a friggin waste of money) and ABA Therapy (like training a dog)....
Finally, Patrick and I decided enough was enough. Let us just let this little girl be that, A Little Girl.
Caitlin began to thrive. She was using sign language like a professional. She was following rountines at school. Her temper tantrums STOPPED. She became a sweet, loving little girl.
Caitlin continued to do well in school. When she was 9, she decided to start talking. She has never stopped. In fact, she has never regressed in ANYTHING. She has always shown progress in all of her tasks....hmmm....I wonder why? We never pulled any metals out of her....we never gave B12 shots......Oh, maybe that is why!!!

She is a bright, straight A student, with an amazing aide at school. Her teacher's adore her and her classmates are amazed by her.

Caitlin is still Autistic. Caitlin will be Autistic for the rest of her life. She will have a quality life, just as I promised her the day she was born.....16 years ago today. That is why 16 is SWEET to me, her mother.

JUST THE FACTS......

I have decided to take a few minutes, out of a very busy day, to set some facts straight about me, my family and my life. What you are about to read is the TRUTH....not the blatant LIES that are thrown out all over the internet about me.

I am the mother of 6 children. 5 of them are on the autism spectrum. My oldest will be 16 tomorrow (OMG) and the youngest will be 6 next month. They are labeled with classic autism. They both fit this label and will remain Autistic the rest of their lives. Caitlin was exactly like Kiernan at his age. She tore clothes out of dresser drawers, like him....she smeared her feces, like him....she did not talk, like him. Caitlin now completely is self-sufficient, yet she needs constant supervision (for safety reasons). She does not smear feces, destroy drawers and she talks. She will answer any question and will tell you what it is like to be autistic. She is an amazing artist and a truly AMAZING person. Kiernan has his moments, but I would not trade him for the world.
Erin, 10 and Patrick, 7 are in the PDD-NOS part of the spectrum. At one time, they were severely autistic. Through maturation and perseverance on their part, the school's part and yes my Husband and myself's part, they got better. NO biomedical, chelation, or B12 shots required. Also, these 2 are now fully inclusioned and are indistinguishable from their same-aged peers (and better behaved, I might add). These 2 used to smear feces, toothpaste, mud, etc. Erin and Patrick would scream for hours. They outgrew this behavior.
Deirdre, 12, was diagnosed with Asperger's when she was 9. This diagnosis was a surprise to us. It did not change who Deirdre was, just explained her quirkiness and her amazing way to describe things in the most accurate detail. She is the smartest person I know. She has social issues and has struggled with this for years. I am happy to say, she has found a lovely group of friends that adore her.....along with her adoring family, what more could a girl need?
Meaghan is our only NT (so to speak). She is far more challenging to me than any of the autistic children. She has all the angst that a little 9 year old girl should have and the attitude to go with it. She has more friends than I can count and they all love her.

Please note, that there is not one of these children I would not have wanted to give birth to. We adore each and every one of these children. When questioned why I had so many children when we had a child with autism, I first say, None of your business....then I explain that I was pregnant with Meaghan (#4) when we found out Erin was autistic. I had Patrick 2 years later, while using a low-dose birth control (the only birth control I could use, because I was still breast feeding a 13 month old Meaghan. ). Patrick was 6 months old when I became pregnant with Kiernan....same birth control.
My children are all wanted and loved.....don't ever question that again.....

Now, there is another story being spewed across the internet. This is that I curse out parent's who do biomedical, chelation, B12 etc. That is a LIE.....show me where I EVER cursed out any person on the internet.
I have never called anyone "trashy", a lazy bugger, psychotic, etc....Sound familiar to any of you out there? If you need your memory refreshed, just ask me, I will let you know who you are.
I have only written that I believe it is very sad that a child of such a young age should be subjected to these kind of procedures. Call them what you want, but it is barbaric to ME....
You can use whatever excuse you want to make you happy for doing this, but I cannot see being a well-adjusted child while undergoing these procedures. My opinion.
See, I did not call names...just stated my opinion.
You guys might want to try this.

There is also someone out there, in lala land, who is writing that my husband has anger-management issues with me. How funny is that? My husband is by far the most patient man I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. He is not as out-spoken as his adoring wife, but he has not one abusive bone in his 6'5" frame. I hope you all have someone in your lives that love you as much as my husband loves me and his children.

Now, about our new house. I cannot mention the interior until the show airs. But, I was not given a GAG ORDER not to blog or go onto message boards. I took that upon myself, because I read some things written by 2 women in particular. I did not need to give them any fodder.
I hope when the show is aired, they watch with an open mind and truly see the beauty, intelligence and stregnth in our children. I hope they look past the fact that we were in financial difficulty and our home was not in stellar condition.
I hope they see how our whole community rallied together to give us this amazing gift and also see the gift that was given to the community in return.

Also, we did not nominate ourselves for this show. Our neighbor, Stan, nominated us. He is like family to us and saw we were in a situation we needed help with. Thank God for him. He is the person I will go to if I ever decide to run for office (just kidding, of course).

I do not have time for any more of the nonsense written about me from people who obviously do not know me. I have plenty of time for the loved ones in my life. The people that I have chosen to surround me and my family. I do not keep negatives in my life. That is bad for my children. I do not HATE anybody or anything. I just know who to keep out of our lives and who to let in.

And on one more note, while I am stating the FACTS, I find it interesting that people who write such negatively things about me on the blogger that Hates Autism so much ( you know the one), finds it necessary to hide behind the ANONYMOUS label. All I can say to that is how ridiculous it is that people believe what is written by someone who is not even brave enough to write their real names. If you want to accuse me of something, have the chutzpah to let me respond to a real person. There are very feeble-minded people out their that really believe the CRAP you write about me and my family. Get some back-bone or leave me out of your comments.

I hope this helps to understand my family better.
We are a "normal" family. My children are not defined by their autism. They are defined as the following:
Beautiful
Smart
Caring
Well-behaved
Quirky
Funny
Huggable
Loud
Respectful
ADORED by all

What more could a Mother and Father ask for?