- I am the proud mother of 6 children. 5 of our children have autism. We do not feel our world has ended, but just begun. We do not chelate, intervene biochemically, give shots of any kind, practice ABA, etc. We treat them as we treat any humanbeing. We treat them with kindness and respect and expect the same from them. They are exceptional children.
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Sunday, August 09, 2009
I told my boss where I worked, at the Sheraton Centre Hotel in Midtown Manhattan,
that I was going to have a baby.
Patrick and I bought as many baby books as we could find at the local book stores.
We read the month-by-month accounts of what should happen during my pregnancy.
Sometimes they were right on target....most times not.
I had a fairly easy pregnancy.
We did the obligatory lamaze class with a very spectacular Jamaican woman in the
East Village...that was fun !!!
Caitlin came fast and furious..so fast that the cab driver did not want any money from
us after we went through every red light from 52nd street and 7th to 16th ave and 1st.
Beth Israel was very slow that night. They thought I was exaggerating when I told them
that I felt the head...by the way..they were wrong !!!
Caitlin came out 8 pounds 11 ounces. She was gorgeous. Wide eyed and gorgeous.
Everything I had read about what to expect from the pregnancy and birth went flying
out the window. This was my child and she was perfect.
Even through the next few months of screaming, lack of sleep and also being a new wife...
she was perfection to me.
As she approached the age of 1 years old, we moved down to Texas. Caitlin, still gorgeous
and wonderful, was not doing what other 1 year old children do. We questioned the doctors,
but they told us we were worrisome parent's.
Caitlin continued to not talk and seemed to be in her own world. Now...if you know me...
I believe in individualism...but, I am a ham. I love singing and dancing...especially Broadway
musicals. I made Caitlin dance and sing with me. People were amazed that she was so
lovey-dovey (poor kid did not have a choice).
I had an in-home day care and saw the other children and their growth. I knew that Caitlin
was not like them...but frankly, I liked her better. She did not have the typical terrible twos...and I thank her for that.
In fact, none of my children had them. What the heck is the terrible 2's anyway?
I have recently read where parent's are upset because their children missed being 2 years
old because of Autism....
Where were they?
Did they not turn 2?
Were you so depressed in the Autism you missed it?
Now, that is very sad to me !!!
I never expected any of our 6 children to be any ways near like each other.
I never compared their milestones to be like each other. They are each individuals
that will progress at their own paces. They each achieved in different areas at different
times. No one is better than the other. They are who they are.
I have no expectations of who they are going to be....they are mine....
That is enough !!!
Thursday, August 06, 2009
commenter on the Autism Speaks forum. This mother of a child with Autism
tends to be more towards the Neurodiverse side than the BM side of treating
their child with Autism.
She puts up with criticism well, and stands her ground without being hateful, so I
accepted her "friend" request.
Well. lo and behold, it was brought to my attention today that some scum bag of
a parent on the Autism Speaks forum has used this name to gain information from
some of my true Facebook Friends.
First and foremost...how really stupid is this person. It is so very easy to find
out your true identity. Do you think that the true person cannot sue you for
using their name? Do you think we cannot join in on that fun for using our information
to play your really silly little game?
I hope you lose a lot of sleep over this. You were really, truly playing with the wrong
set of people.
If you have children with Autism...which, by the way, I think you do (and more than one..
wink, wink), I hope you start refocusing your attention away from stalking and prying
into people's lives and start dealing with your own life. By what I know...it sucks!!!!
To the innocent person who was affected by this...I am so sorry you were brought into
this..you were put into a situation that was not warranted by any of your actions...
Let me know what you need from my end...I will help you !!!!
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
I asked our daughter Deirdre, who has Asperger's, to please take up Caitlin's dinner. She likes to eat in her room...so, I let her. I said to Deirdre, "when you give her her food, tell her you love her (because that is what I do)..."
Of course, Deirdre says "NO".
I said, "C'Mon"...Deirdre agreed...reluctantly...
Deirdre came downstairs with a huge grin on her face...
I asked her if she said I love You....Deirdre said, "I said Love Ya"...
I asked Deirdre what Caitlin said....
Deirdre said, "She said "I love you" back"...
I asked Deirdre if that made her happy....
Deirdre, in all of her wisdom said, "That is why I am smiling"....
Of course..I start crying !!!!
I have had a crappy day...fought with the bank, fought with cable, had to get Kiernan's
Vanguard system back on track, needed to go to the post office (couldn't), fighting a really
shitty sore mouth, having my provider not show up, but...in the end...
this is what my life is all about....
About being able to raise Autistic children to be loving and caring...
God has given me quite a lot. Sometimes I wonder why he chose me...
This last week, reading the whiny crap on other blogs and on AoA, I now
I hope you can figure out why soon !!!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
While catching up on reading various blogs on Autism this morning,
I came across a blog written by a mom who approaches autism from a
biomedical point of view. She was complaining about her life in biomedical
by how hard it is for her to mix the biomedical concoction I am almost sure
her child "loves" to take, her lack of finances, her poor marriage, etc.
I continued reading, because the blog was titled "United We Stand, Divided
We Fall" over at the Age Of Autism site.
When you follow the link over to the blogsite the article came from,
the title is :
So, we mother's who are fed up with the whining and hatred over at the biomedical sites
are supposed to be united with these bio-med moms...especially after lovely comments
such as "foaming at the mouth", "neglecting our children", "sitting back and doing
Instead of being so mad at the Neurodiverse crowd, you parent's of biomedical
interventions should be mad at the doctors and "experts" that have made you
so very mad in the first place.
Promises of cures and recovery, that many of you have stated have not occurred, even
after giving thousands and thousands of dollars to these people.
After reading where one mother gave 18 IVIG infusions to one child, only to have
the child regress back into her former autistic self...shame on that doctor for continuing
the treatments...more shame to the mom who allowed it.
After reading about a mom who is pissed that Hbot did not cure her son, even after
trying every treatment imaginable (including a nicotine patch put on his butt)....and she is so disappointed in a child who she "wished had recovered by kindergarten"....he is now
8 years old. How very sad that this little boy is such a disappointment to his mother.
You should be mad at the doctors who sell you these "protocols" that are not covered
by insurance....and do you know why?
Insurance is not used on unproven, unsafe methods of treatment. I thank God there
is someone who draws the line at what will be covered and what will not be covered by
insurance. That would be my wakeup call as not what to do to my innocent child by
a person who claims to want to help them, yet will not take my insurance....duh !!!!
Lately, the biomedical community have been playing the pity card. Poor, poor me...
my child is not recovered...my child is making me so unhappy because I am broke,
divorced, have no friends, depressed, and just plain pissed off !!!
Most of the parents I have met, who practice the "ND" approach...which, by the way,
is still very hard... is a hard-working, happy, well-rounded, accepting person. They are not foaming at the mouth. They are not screaming or ranting at those who do not agree with them. We have not given up on our children. We love them. We educate
them. We make sure they go to their therapies. We make sure they are at their
prospective extracurricular activities (ie, baseball, ballet, etc). We make sure we
teach them how to behave and what is acceptable behaviors (oh, btw, that is called
We take our children to the doctors when they require medical attention, we
schedule dental appointments, neurologist appointments and appointments with
therapist...and with more than one child on the spectrum, this is sometimes quite
We prepare meals for our children to eat....just because they are not GF/CF meals,
does not mean we do not love our children any less than you guys who promote
We had a difficult day with Kiernan yesterday. He was in OCD mode...obsessing
on everything. Today, with a much calmer Kiernan (without medication, mind you),
I thank God for the patience he has given me. I also thank him for giving me a husband
who knows when I have had enough. I thank him for all of my children, who make
me who I am...
I love being a mother...it is why I am here.
It is now 4:30 pm. In between writing this blog, cooking breakfast and lunch and
now making dinner, I have put a great deal into writing this blog.
I do not dislike any parent...whether they believe that biomedical interventions are
helping their children or not.
I dislike the fact that these parents find it okay to name-call and demean us on
comment boards such as Age Of Autism:
just a couple of examples from today are...
Next time a biomed parent sings that they do not name-call or bring down
parent's who do not practice the methods they do, cite some of these comments:
You don’t hear biomed parents out there chastising others for not doing biomed. You do hear biomed parents telling about their experiences and recommending resources, but not calling someone derogatory names for not doing biomed.
Differences do not need to be divisive. We are all struggling along as best we can. In my experience, biomed parents are pioneers who are devoted to their children, not deluded, desperate, etc. Biomed parents should be listened to as useful resources, not maligned.
Posted by: Twyla | August 02, 2009 at 03:07 PM